Monday, December 31, 2007

LAST DAY OF THE YEAR: ADVANCE ORDER

31 December 2007
Monday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 1900 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Oh HOW NICE… LAST DAY by B.I.R.D
Mood: *We are still the fucking world…*

Against better judgment, risk being bored to death, I shall do a mother of all resolutions (M.O.A.R)

1. Get fit and trim waist line
2. Run my Forth Marathon after 4 years break!
3. Get a Job
4. Get a Life
5. Did I mention getting a life?

Oh well, hope life will be nicer in the coming year… Get a Job, less cow-pehing, eat well, sleep well, drink less, smoke lesser, be nice to kweks’ cats, be nice to my relatives, hope my love ones are well & healthy and of cos, try to get hitched.

Try lah, never say die die must do it, TRY Dude… If I may add, work a bit on the hitching part… right

But if no heartache, then not much to blog… if nothing much to blog, then blog will die… it’s a vicious cycle you see…

Oh yes, for the time we spent together, I am so fortunate to be blessed by your generous friendship

Mr Tan & Ms Tham: 开心难过喝酒知心友万岁
Mr Chia & Ms Teo: 理工知心友万岁
Mr Nyo & Mr Ong: Kara-永远-OK友万岁
Ms Lala, Ms Grayze, Mr Kong, Ms Chua & Ms Heng: 工作友万岁
Mr Kwek, Mr Hoon, Mr Png, Mr Edmund, Mr Ding, Mr Elvis & Mr Brandon: 军队院校友万岁
Mr Glenn, Mr CK: 中学友万岁
Mr & Mrs Bunnies, Uncle George & Supreme Commander, Boss Soon: 军事外交理事处盟友万岁
Ms Mandy, Ms Jessica, Ms SaSa, Ms Lele and Ms Ye: 可爱甜蜜美丽友万岁

愿我们能友谊历久一样浓

Last but not least, it is a wonderful New Year, also appropriate to end it in a more say, positive note

Though I walk through the valley of idiots, I shall fear neither joblessness nor the temptation to kick their ass, for I have my journal to curse them and my highly marketable job skills. But my investment portfolio isn’t doing as well as I hoped, and my love life is virtually nonexistence, so if it’s not too much to ask, I need a higher return so I can escape from these clowns. And to live in splendor while they wrestle in the mud and make it in one piece to find my One & Only Love…

Bird
December 31, 2007

Sunday, December 30, 2007

我也希望有个人来爱

30 December 2007
Another Sunday (27 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2340 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *The wind in the Willow*

Every day passes by with no recollection. Everyday seems to be getting a little more unbearable, maybe I am turning crazy, maybe the world is going south… Maybe maybe maybe

There is no harm in living alone, doing things alone and be comfortable just by yourself. Well, not the least anyway. As Mrs Grimlock can attest to, some people are just engineered to be. Nature Nurture, nature nurture… it is like paying rent or buy Porn… Pay rent or buy porn… Both are passionately sane, one way or another…

If only nature meant it to be this way… isn’t it? Nah… I have long given up on anything good and lovingly… If there is a way, a life, a fate, it will mean to be. Eventually… if not, then it was never meant to be in the first place. Sounds a tad oxymoron but hey, that’s life.

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken and I would rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

It’s the end of the year, time to stock take of the year happening, misses and takers. Seems like this year is especially interesting… So many things have happened, so many misses and nothing gain or given. I am still a BIG BAD BIRD, nothing much has change. Oh well…

Something to remember me though…

算了吧,不再等了,也不去想那么多了

可能是夜深人静时, 寂寞有一点难奈吧

路难走也要走下去… 没法子,命微薄吧

她曾问我; Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me

I have known many, liked not a few but loved only one…

我也希望有个人来爱…

谁都不该让你心碎 by 张克帆

夜慢慢的后退, 黎明近在眼前
睡在臂弯中的你那么美

谁曾让你心碎, 又让你无路可退
在我怀里哭整夜

多想留你在身边, 解你的伤悲到永远
不管是错是对我愿一个人背

看你憔悴看你喝醉, 看你笑的无助后悔
真正爱你的人却只能为你心疼
不要你恨不要你怨, 谁都不该让你心碎
抹去你的泪, 拥有你是我一生的心愿

LAST DAY OF THE YEAR: STOCKING TAKING

30 December 2007
Another Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1400 (Singapore Time)
Listen: We are the World by Michael Jackson
Mood: *We are the world…*

Ok, its annual stock taking time… the things I do this year

1. Went for my Europe and Turkey trip (it happened in Dec 06 but it spill over to Jan 07 haha)
2. Return to work amidst the hottest winter (some 15 Degree Celsius!)
3. Cringe at the total cost of my little Europe trip
4. Call Mom and told her jokingly I MIGHT return to Singapore for a short break
5. Fast forward a week, she cleared up my room, awaiting my return
6. Call travel agent to book last min SIA New York-Singapore Direct flight; the best thing in 7. flying since mile high club (haha)
7. Cringe when I see the bill
8. Went back to Singapore for 2 weeks private leaves in Feb 07
9. Got snubbed by my Ex Gf, cos she “not ready” to see me… right
10. Met up with Peanutz
11. Went St James (first time) with Han & LK … Nice
12. Return to US…
13. Cringe at the credit card bill
14. Pretend to work till April
15. Parents and kid brother came for a long holiday
16. Went to West Coast: Anaheim Disneyland, San Diego Sea World, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, LA Universal Studio and Hollywood
17. Went to East Coast: Washington DC, Niagara Falls, Toronto, Woodsbury Outlet, New York
18. Parent went home, Boss tells me to be strong (right…)
19. Cringe at the credit card bill
20. Pretend to work
21. Boss last day
22. Bird pretend to work till ORD
23. Snub my HR… They panic when the GREAT One ask about my posting order
24. Snub my fellow colleagues… Bloody cheebye
25. Return to Singapore
26. 2 weeks block leave doing nothingness
27. Return to work in Singapore office… Finally!
28. Tender my resignation… told HR to fug themselves
29. 1 month notice to leave… Everyday at work in state of nothingness
30. Cringe at September credit card bill
31. Last day at work in October 07
32. Bought 37’ SHARP LCD TV
33. Bought Xbox Elite
34. Play Xbox for 3 days, gave up while kid brother go from strength to strength
35. He completed every damn game we bought…
36. Cringe at October credit card bill
37. Rot at home
38. Met NT
39. Cringe at November credit card bill
40. Get professional help at NSC for my hair
41. Rot at home
42. Met WY
43. Rot at home
44. Cringe at December credit card bill
45. Writing this all out… And you reading it…

Well, so much have happened; though things got a little slow towards the end. Hey, that’s life dude and babes!
Have Fun and God Bless.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

TIME IS LIKE CLEAVAGE, SQUEEZE AND THERE WILL BE SOME

29 December 2007
Bright Saturday (31 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1330 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 为爱伤心为你痛by张克帆
Mood: *See Bird flying*

Went to an impromptu karaoke session last night, singing the night away with D, E, N & J. Reach home at 1am, chat with a friend till 4am. Risk dozing off while chatting, I decided to give a lame excuse and went to sleep. Woke up at 9am and started stoning. How apt for a lazy Saturday morning. Then shit happened (yes, again); my cell phone charger died. After numerous attempts to resuscitate it, decide to bring to Service Center. Lucky it is near my place…

Rush to shower, drive 10 min, reach there, grab number and wait. Short 5 min wait later, I handed my charger over, only to discover that my charger is ok what…. TMD

Slept less than 5 hours kena this cheebye thingy and come home, still got nag by Mom over very inconsequential stuffs. Told u liao, my only fault is that instead of going out and see the world, I chose to stay at home (when she is not working). Lucky kid brother with me, so can spread the nag. Damn, I need to go out today! But go where? Do what? For fuck? Argh…

I hate this world! Especially weekends! Since we are at it, I hate DATING COUPLES! PDA FUCKERS!! EVERYONE SINGLE ONE OF YOU!!! More so because I haven’t got any… Cough*Cough* haha

Reminds me of this saying; masturbation is like procrastination, initially you feel damn good but in the end, you are only fucking yourself. Speaking of which, Yup, YOU ARE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!! Have fun my fellow brethrens and sisters

I will be back!


为爱伤心为你痛 by 张克帆

爱情的火烧啊烧痛我胸口, 伤心酒喝了后不能收
记得你曾说永远等着我, 但情到尽头总是空

无情的风吹啊吹散我的梦, 没有人躲的过命捉弄
情愿一个人面对所有痛, 我真的不愿你难过

这场雨下不停就像我的痛, 它一点一滴淹没我
黑夜慢慢走陪着我寂寞, 爱太深就最怕失落

为爱伤心为你痛我的心谁能懂, 一个人痴痴守着从前的梦
每一次想起你的笑你深情的吻, 就一再刺痛我的伤口

为爱伤心为你痛我的心谁能懂, 一个人痴痴守着寂寞的梦
对你的爱恋怎么能说忘就能忘, 我越陷越深越来越心痛

Thursday, December 27, 2007

夜的诗人

27 December 2007
Gloomy Thursday (26 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *没时间了*

没时间了…

真的没时间…

如果可以

好想紧紧抱你在怀里

告诉你

我好爱你

真的好对不起你

原谅我吧

终纠…终纠还是来的太迟

献给天下有情人, 你们要勇敢的活下去


勇敢 by 张惠妹

黑暗中寂寞伸出的双手
冰凉的空气像火害怕又收手

路太远谁的眼神永远
盲目跟你一起走怎样才会懂

记忆里爱应该总是温柔
有了这一切才能不怕黑夜

是我勇敢太久决定为你一个人而活
不能说出口那么折麽

勇敢了太久城市充满短暂的烟火无处躲
照亮了沉默明白是寂寞

谁说过爱会让人不自由
所以你要我等候换你的追求

有太多快乐自私作借口
你让我最后 把心痛当拥有

夜太黑, 看不见, 你在我身边
心伤悲,泪水失去防备

OH, SO YOU ARE A FEMINIST, ISN’T THAT PRECIOUS…

27 December 2007
Gloomy Thursday (27 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1600 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 爱情转移 by 陈奕迅
Mood: *See Orchid growing*

So be a doll and humor me…

Every morning when I get the shower towel, I am greeted by Mom’s new found hobby (on top of her busy schedule); growing orchid in the balcony. I think she is trying a little too hard to find her green thumb. Not that every one of her plant died; last count got one cactus, one duno what flowering plant and some miscellaneous potted ones but like she said, at least one still alive. Oh yes that one… so far so good… for 20 over years and still alive. Its like part of the family already, can shed a tears if any fucker tried to murder it.

Speaking of murder, reference to the holidays’ train stoppage, me think dying on the MRT track is still the least pleasant way to go. Imagine the mess, the pain, everything. Not to mention the trauma for everyone concerned and of course, the investigating officers, undertakers and since we are at it, the whole nation. Oh, could that be the main reason? Whatever it is, think before you do it. It is never about just you.

Oh what did you know… My kid brother, his buddy and my Xbox have finally completed the game of the year, Halo 3. Finally, more peaceful time around here. Last night had a good drink at my friend’s outdoor pub. The nice breeze, the chat and the cold beer. Ah that’s life. If only you were with me.

Moving on, looks like I am ending the year in a low note. Not bad for a bird, yup. I have been in low note for like as far and long as I can remembers. Nothing to be sad of, or finger pointing. If there is any fault, it is usually mine. As the saying goes, between the devil and the deep blue sea, I supposed I can lived with the devil. Deep Blue sea big, cold and deep (duh) and very lonely. Whatever…

I missed you so much, where are you? Who are you?
I’m still here… waiting for that one smile… If only I could put a name to you…



爱情转移 by 陈奕迅

徘徊过多少橱窗住过多少旅馆, 才会觉得分离也并不冤枉
感情是用来浏览还是用来珍藏, 好让日子天天都过得难忘

熬过了多久患难湿了多长眼眶, 才能知道伤感是爱的遗产
流浪几张双人床换过几次信仰, 才让戒指义无返顾的交换

把一个人的温暖转移到另一个的胸膛, 让上次犯的错反省出梦想
每个人都是这样享受过提心吊胆, 才拒绝做爱情待罪的羔羊

回忆是捉不到的月光握紧就变黑暗, 等虚假的背影消失于晴朗
阳光在身上流转等所有业障被原谅
爱情不停站想开往地老天荒, 需要多勇敢

烛光照亮了晚餐照不出个答案, 恋爱不是温馨的请客吃饭
床单上铺满花瓣拥抱让它成长, 太拥挤就开到了别的土壤

感情需要人接班接近换来期望, 期望带来失望的恶性循环
短暂的总是浪漫漫长总会不满, 烧完美好青春换一个老伴

你不要失望荡气回肠是为了, 最美的平凡

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

IT’S A B.E.A.U.TIFUL DAY

25 December 2007
Windy Tuesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1800 (Singapore Time)
Listen: I Knew I Love You by Savage Garden
Mood: *Yup, it is still Christmas*

Finally I have decided to go for a jog this afternoon, resisting the urge to take a quickie nap. I figure if I do not start exercising and doing some good deeds to myself, soon the damages will irreversible. I know it meant something… Besides, I cannot possibly grow fat, balding and die right? Heck, I’m not even gotten hitched. Well not yet… The way I see, might be a long while… that’s life.

That said, I shall follow on with my traditions; no New Year resolution. What for… Not that I will follow it anyway. Moreover, my wishes and Han’s are easy to remember and follow; to be rich and powerful. Haha. Soon Soon my buddy, Soon we will achieve that.

Moving on, saw this old man (think 60) doing a gymnastic still rings stunt on my area fitness center. I wonder what is the surprising part; my lowly fitness corner got miniature still rings or that old chap can do a somersault turn on it. I simply cannot imagine myself doing it… cannot even visualize the stunt, the pain thereafter and the hospitalization. Which pretty much summed up my physique.

Oh, some history on this song. I was attending one of the few Army courses during NS time when I saw this MTV during break time. Those were the days; my Ex GF, my exponential misery, ah those cold showers days in the morning, the long runs, the numerous near ending of days tendencies. Yup, as you can see, those were my turbulence days. Not that it is any better now but hey, I am a better actor. It comes with age. Don’t blame the society at large, blame it on the person next to you.

Alrighty, lets not bored you with my cow pehing… Enjoy the songs and may you find happiness in whatever you do. I knew I love you… Yup, I wish I knew too…

I Knew I Love You by Savage Garden



Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes, I see my future in an instant
And there it goes, I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes, I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for, I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you

WHAT’S MEANT TO BE WILL EVENTUALLY FIND ITS WAY

25 December 2007
Windy Tuesday (27 Degree Celsius)
Early Morning @ 0300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我的心好乱 by 赵传
Mood: *Yup, it’s Christmas*

I suppose whatever will be, will be.

I waited and waited. After millions of disheartening moments, I am still waiting. For that one sms, one smiley, one Hi. Suitably a tragedy worth keeping, I am still here, looking at eternity. Looking at the end of the tunnel with no end in sight and yet, you kept appearing in my dreams, in my waking moments, wherever I go, whatever I do. You are my ray of hope against the darkness.

But alas… 再也不去想,也不去渴望什么…终究我们没有缘

What’s meant to be will eventually find its way

I was hearing this song while travelling in the MRT. Seeing the scenery moving past me, with the track beneath me, it feels surreal… almost like a fleeting dream. I could have sworn you were with me at that moment before we parted. The smell of your hair, the warmth of your touch… it is so real. But I know, it can never be. At that revelation, my world suddenly filled with sadness and despair. Knowing that we could never be together.

Why? Where are you? What am I doing with my life? How do I go from here…

What the hell am I doing with my life… I think subconsciously, I am killing myself a little a day. I wasted my time, drown my liver, burnt my lungs and *Censored* But that’s a life I have chosen. Nothing fanciful, nothing too stressful for my heart, basically, just plain fucked up.

We could have made it pass the finishing line, but you didn’t. I didn’t. You had forsaken me, while I had given up. We could have danced all night…but alas, we didn’t.



我的心好乱 by 赵传

当爱情由浓转淡, 再说什么已太晚
不管心里多遗憾, 让你离开别阻搁

若是爱让你有负担, 说明白吧别隐瞒
你心不在了怎么办, 何不就在这里散

当爱已不在温暖, 它只是牵泮
又何苦让它再纠缠
哦!再纠缠

天空为何那么暗
爱情为何那么难
谁能告诉我答案
现在我的心好乱

Damn, I will miss you… So terribly much! 终究我们没有缘

I miss you, Bird… Where are you now?

你在哭吗? 在一个我再也到不了的地方™

Monday, December 24, 2007

MERRY CHRISTMAS ! YAYA, I MEAN IT

24 December 2007
Windy Monday (28 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 1000 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 谢谢你的好 by曾文雅
Mood: *Yup, its christmas*

Ya ya, it’s the festive seasons, can I just for once stop complaining and start to enjoy life a bit…

I supposed I could… just that later got relatives gathering. I so hate small talk again… That’s life. Not that I hate my relatives, they are ok; warm and nice. With great kids and stuffs, but you see, I am a private person, to a fault. I prefer to spend my living days either in solitude, someone I loved or with my best buddies. But then, we cannot spend life like this right? That’s why mankind invents gathering and partying. That is why also, I hate mankind. But that’s just me.

Thought of asking her for a Christmas countdown. After numerous scenario planning and war gaming, I still cannot find the right words and reasons to ask her… Maybe I will… who knows…Well, sometime some things are better left unsaid, lest it kills your holiday mood.

Kills? Oh come on, it is not even been alive since since… Like I was one year old?

That aside, I sincerely wish my readers a Really Wonderful and Merrily Christmas.
I know it meant something… Haha

I kind of like this song now… a bit melancholy and maybe a little wrong for happy times like now but alas, to each its own. To each its own.

Or perhaps

Sometime you just need to be with the person who makes you smile… Even if it means waiting for an eternity.

因为寂寞 by 李宗盛

会爱上我因为你寂寞
虽然你从来不说你不说我也会懂
其实会爱上你也是因为我寂寞
因为受不住冷落空虚的时候有个寄托

虽然总是被人们围绕着
在曲终人散以后曾想念你的细心温柔
原谅我不能承诺什么
我会爱你只是因为因为寂寞

抱歉我不能承诺什么
是否要一起生活还是有一个我们的窝
不要你为我承诺什么
我会爱你你会爱我只是因为寂寞

会爱上你因为我寂寞
虽然我从来不说我不说你也会懂
而且感情的事你我都脆弱
谈到未来的生活

我们对自已都没有把握
请不要对我承诺什么
是否要一起生活还是要一个我们的窝
你不必为我承诺什么

Sunday, December 23, 2007

I MAY LOOK SAFE BUT WHEN WE ARE ALONE, I WILL EAT YOU

23 December 2007
Windy Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1230 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 谢谢你的好 by曾文雅
Mood: *Hey, a new Friend*

My days of writing social many-logies theorem (still got 2 more to go… at least those are written and waiting to be published) is not over anytime soon. But nowadays need to slightly delay its publication, to make space for my frequent cow peh session.

Last night went to Han’s place. Initially I was a little apprehensive, cos LK abandoned me last minute and I hardly know anyone in his invite list. But it sure beats staying at home and writing sob stories for the whole world at large to read and thus anchoring my status as a LOSER. Besides, my house is like a party ready to begin; my kid brother’s friends playing XBOX and his GF entertaining my Mom and Dad. For my better judgment, I was immersed in smoke and a slight drinking session. His friends can and will drink… the highlight for the night?

I made a new friend… haha

I don’t usually do any product placement or advertisement unless they exceeded my expectation. Today is the day that my eyes literally popped… it is my friend’s SPOP entry!

She made it into the top 12 and it’s a feat by itself! Her rendering of past unrequited love (she say it is based on her friend’s love life… Right…), coupled with smoothing melody, uncomplicated arrangement, makes it stand out proudly among the finalists. There is this unassuming allure that differentiate her’s from the rest of the modern songs. Something very “life”, simple nectar rejuvenating life. Here’s the trick, hear it with only the lyrics as your guide (not the video) and picture yourself in the situation (Don’t bluff me about NEVER being there and done that!). You will see the magic of her composition. Me kid you not…

The only problem is/are, the voting is based almost entirely on online participation. Nothing wrong with that, but picture this

Teacher also write song, teacher esp POLY or Uni teachers got like 1000 students
1000 students who have nothing but time and internet at their disposal…

It is every product placement executive wet dream man!

B.E.A.UTIFUL Song! Oh, support support a bit lah, my friend’s entry. And besides, registration only takes like a minute at http://spop.mediacorptv.sg/

If it is too simple, then what’s the point? 简单就没意义了… Hee hee

Name: Wendy Tjen
Song: 谢谢你的好

Here is her award winning song, 词曲都是她写的,够厉害吧!



谢谢你的好 by 曾文雅

我的爱情围成了一个圈
任我怎么绕还是不可能有终点

你说你想要做我唯一的依靠
不是我感觉不到, 对于他我放不掉

谢谢你的好, 你的好我都知道
只是你无法从我心中明白他的重要

我一心只想逃, 一直不断地奔跑
挽拒你的拥抱, 只能谢谢你的好

闭上了双眼, 什么都不想要
一个人两个依靠, 三种心情谁知道

只能谢谢你的好

Saturday, December 22, 2007

HATING ME WILL NOT MAKE YOU ANY PRETTIER, BUT NICE TRY THOUGH

22 December 2007
Windy Saturday (29 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1530 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 爱情转移 by陈奕迅
Mood: *Bird still Sick*

Recently, I have been dreaming a lot. A LOT more in fact. But that’s beside the point, the thing is, if you dream, and when you do dream, it takes up precious time for your body to rest. The brain matters just kept on shooting signals after signals (ala day dreaming mode) instead of pure blissful sweet nectar rejuvenating rest. Not that those dreams are any better and they usually have me doing the most mundane things, save last night…

I was sleeping in some lonely planet when suddenly every cheebye people disappear. Apparently the Top Elites are trying to sabo me by releasing all the Aliens (yup those) and hardcore criminals. So now I have to survive not only cheebye criminals for a while but those pesky Aliens too. Not much of a problem, cos most criminals are getting mugged real hard by the Aliens but somehow for some pleasant reasons, I am stuck with NT and of all things, a little girl.

Ah, for once I am a hero… oh did I mention the Elites left me a voice transmitter. Yup, as usual, I blasted them with colorful languages every time we managed to stay intact after an episode. But for once, I am/was a hero. Until I decide to wake up for toilet break that is. And for cheebye reason, it is only like 3am (I slept at 1am last night). Make a mental note not to drink so much water next time.

Now what am I going to do for the coming festive seasons? I will need to have a haircut, get well on my cold and continue to rot at home. On similar note, I hate it when educated cheebye adults cannot differentiate typical cold from Flu symptoms. Every time nose runny, coughing conveniently calls Flu. After studying so much cheebye stuffs, simple thing also cannot differentiate.

Not to come across as sexist, but I suspect some of my lady friends’ degrees are好笑 (Hokkien = Fake). How can someone with an honours (2nd lower and above) cannot even construct a simple logical English sentence? Either they smoke their way through (which is quite difficult considering their grey matters) or their degree is/are ….好笑 (again in Hokkien). Where got standard man? Talking to them really taxing on my lifespan. Like this joke:


So how? I am going to retain my sanity, so there they go, out of my circles of friends! I am not going to humor them just because they are female of my species and for obvious reasons too (which I shan’t disclose). Haha, some humans NEVER become GREAT and they still wonder why… Yup, those sort. But we need them anyway, if not, how to tell the GREAT from the Cheese pie?

Day 3 of No NT? Nah, Bird is weak. I sms her. Yup, as expected, she is back. Ok, Whatever… I just need a fantasy that’s all. Whoever cares about what is right, ethical or sane. I just need to fricking have a fantasy. If not, how to get pass these long lonely festive nights? Told you I am Fucked.

Friday, December 21, 2007

I ALSO GRADUATE, HOW COME EDB GUY SAY I GOT NOTHING TO OFFER TO SINGAPORE WHILE OTHERS ARE FOREIGN TALENTS?

21 December 2007
Cold Friday (23 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2150 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 忘了怎麼說我愛你 by苏永康
Mood: *Gona Fug Myself soon*

Yesterday had an interesting dialogue with Kwek. According to him, some jokers wrote in to our trusty old ST Forum citing the lack of hygiene among Singaporeans. The writer commented that after using the toilets, men seldom wash their hands and most never used soap. Ok, point taken, so that would be a bad news?

But as Kwek pointed out, what is wrong with not washing our hands? Our pecker very dirty meh? By the mere act of washing hands after touching willy is like a terrible act of insult.

Pecker 很见不得光? (this last part is I add one…)

Anyway, just some random thoughts and entries here and there. Take the Bra size for instance, in case you wondered what those letter really mean

Bra size scale:

A – Absent
B – Barely There
C – Can’t Complain
D – Damn
DD – Double Damn
F – Fake

And for those who has no whatso-fucking-ever idea at all about a Panty…

Imaginary Dialogue: At a library

Bird: Hey, you know Singlish is define in the Dictionary?
Kwek: I am NOT falling for that one… there is no such thing as a dictionary
Bird: Who say, then what you call this thing I am holding?
Kwek: That is a woman’s panty…
Bird: hmm, really? I never thought they would be quite so… heavy

忘了怎麼說我愛你 by 苏永康

习惯醒来吻你每天毫无新鲜感的早起日子过得无法挑剔
疼你的好脾气从不计较我何时该深情幸福就像是个糖衣
直到我们对彼此不再好奇直到我们找不到话题突然感到恐惧

我忘了怎么说我爱你,你纵容男人的不小心
不交谈的时候看你落寞神情心里一阵空虚

我忘了怎么说我爱你,也忘了该强调我关心
当相处变演戏又没有好演技还要不要继续
等谁下决定

想的和说的总存在一些些的差距我怕这样的结局

Day 2 of NO NT in my life.

NO SMS, NO THINKING, NO MORE MISSES!!

I must be strong and I will survive!! Provided of course, I don’t die of depression and heart breaks. I will survive! Right…

I SUPPOSED SAYING FUCK YOU WILL BE UNPROFESSIONAL

21 December 2007
Cold Friday (23 Degree Celsius)
Late Night @ 0010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 为你我受冷风吹by梁静茹
Mood: *Self Censorship*

Someone made a very important and disturbing discovery; apparently, last time XXXX who went to XXXX are usually in bus, motorbikes while the richer ones in taxies. Nowadays, it is BMW, a lot more SUVs, MPVs and saloon cars. Of course, the discoverer is/was unable to ascertain whether they are in bad credits or generally well off. Besides, SUV and MPV can be in Korean or China versions which cost a fraction to their continental cousins.

We are aptly aware that (most) XXXXs’ philosophy is “Must look good today, never mind tomorrow no money” so that might constitute the influx of cars and luxury items on special occassion. But by the mere fact that loans are released to them says a lot more than just their living philosophy. It shows they are able to meet the credit ratings hence the loan.

Are they getting richer and better educated? Yes, if national statistics are to be believed, sort of.

Are they better off than their XXXX and predecessor? That is relative… factoring in Inflation, cost of living, health care, fuck care and sex, I think it is still going good for them.

Apparently, our affirmative actions are not working well. They have evolved and move up the social ladder faster than XXXX. Which part of our Final Solution is not working? I supposed we really need to discuss its implications and fine tuned it. It has been ages since we look into its usefulness. Time to update the action chart for the next millennium. I know, its 7 years late but better late than never. How the fuck we know they actually evolved faster than prediction…

What could be the worst news then? They are producing at a much better and faster population replacement rate. The only silver lining? They have quite a number of black sheep’s, A LOT MORE actually. So for every can-do chap, *Censored* . Haha, so the very unlikely scenario that they are taking over us in says 50 years time are a LOT MORE implausible.

Furthermore, 他们高一尺,我们高十丈…

How to fight? haha

Went to toys sales today with Kwek and bought nothing. Jalan around the city and do nothing the whole day. Brave the rain to get to Dhoby Ghaut Metro and bravely walk around the city with no protection from the elements. See lah, now down with a slight cough and cold. Drats! Not that I have a lot of things planned out for the coming days. When you are jobless like me, with nothing but time, everything just stood still and everyday is just another day. 2 Months of nothingness and still counting. Why oh Why DID I QUIT!!! Well, too late to regret now. Fuck…

Missing something? Yup, the daily record of NT. I think she is back from KL. Ok, then why didn’t I cheapen myself more by making that first effort to establish contact? No point lah. Why troubled the already Troubled Bird? As if it will make any difference.

Don’t you know? Can’t you see? After all the hustle & bustle of life, I am still here, alone and lonely. I do hope to see you one last time… but that is just me… I know, regardless of whatever I do, will do and not do, nothing changes. That is my fate.

So let us just eat, drink, be merry and have fun.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I DIDN’T CLAW MY WAY TO THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN TO EAT VEGETABLES

20 December 2007
Cloudy Thursday (24 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 0830 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 为你我受冷风吹by梁静茹
Mood: *See the Birds Fly*

Finally had my cup of sweeten milk tea. I tell you, without which, I can literally DIE. DIE I tell you! Nothing much happening lately… after what seems like an eternity of waiting and guess what, I am still waiting. That is life, such wretched existence. It could not be more obvious. But then, me sort of like cheese pie type, so that pretty much summed up my tragedy.

Sunday, I endure a whole day of nothingness (including FOOD) till late night, just so I can spend like 50 bucks on Sakae Sushi at Changi Airport. Man, Evidently, I was near bursting point after that. Pick my Mom & Brother from airport and guess what, Brother lost his luggage. And Hell, he thought it is covered by the travel insurance, but tour Aunty say only got the land portion covered. Oh Nice…

Some 4 days later, still no news from SIA on its whereabouts. Oh well, lesson learnt, never trust an Aunty to do the necessary work. Everything also they think no need; save cost etc etc. See lah… Anyway, Mom fallen sick on Tuesday, could be due to all the flying and touring. 10 days in Taiwan leh! Goodness. So much to tour meh? And what could be sadder than mom being sick? Bird being stuck at home for the past 2 days and without a smoke! I now know what cold turkey feels like. 2 FRICKING DAYS and COUNTING!! I can’t possibly leave my mom at home and go partying and smoking right?

Wednesday went out with LK & Han for damn early drink session. Supposed to head to Zouk after 12am (for some reasons better left unsaid). We went home for a rest at 9pm. By 11, I am pretty much too tired and lazy to drive all the way to Zouk. I drank a little over the legal limit and hence not really that suitable to drive. Besides, NT also not there, go also useless. Hahah.

Anyway, saw Elvan enroute to collect car haha. That was a pleasant surprise. Oh Yes, Nyo passed his criminal law despite (in his own words) only studied for a few hours. Ok lah, you smart lah haha.

And speaking of air travel, I notice when the middle class flies, it does so in what is euphemistically called economy class or depending on who your government is/are; cattle class. That aside, minus the budget air thingy, We have had the experience, that disheartening cheebye moment when we board the plane. To pass through the first and business class sections of the airplane, where we cheebyely witness how the better off are, literally, cushioned from the travails of steerage, in exchange, of course, for paying two or four times as much for their tickets. But that is beside the point.

For argumentative purpose, in Nations and Nationalism, Ernest Gellner (1983) once said that “nationalism is a theory of political legitimacy which requires that ethnic boundaries should not cut across political ones.”

However, personally, a definition of a nation should be in terms of ethnicity; and second, the principle that national and political boundaries ought to coincide. The two premises are of course independent but they should have common fundamentals. Therein lies my point, is it easier and more economical to govern a homogenous state (Japan, Korean, Sweden perhaps) than say Malaysia? Of course, Gellner’s book was published in 1983, religious over zealots have not blown up any buildings yet. For my part, a homogenous state is the only way for our future. But that’s just me…

My point is, in my regime, I shall personally drown all rich fuckers and feed them to the lions. Of course, being a kind hearted bird, those with pretty daughters will be spared the agony; just shoot them in the head will do. Little wonder why I should not run for political office?

Imaginary Dialogue: Over at Speed Dating Anonymous

Bird: Hi, I’m Bird, You are…
Isabelle: Shhhh, did you hear that?
Bird: Hear what?
Isabelle: That’s the sound of you not having a chance in hell with me
Bird: Oh, I think that was my fart, sorry, kind of embarrassing.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

KNIFE CUT TOFU 2 SIDE VERY SMOOTH … SOUND GAYISH DOESN’T IT?

18 December 2007
Cloudy Tuesday (24 Degree Celsius)
Late Afternoon @ 1830 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 别以为男人就不会哭 by 巫启贤
Mood: *Feed them to the Lions!*

Following my many-logies on “Social Change” and “Knife cutting some tofu” thingy, here is the next installment

In my years as a small fry staffer, I have seen high officials insisting flying only on FIRST class flights in accordance with their terms of employment. Heck, why should they short-changed themselves (as the saying goes) when the rest of their herd are doing it. These are done with such utterly disregards to the cost and if I may add; with the money saved (business class is just as good), these could go a long way to fund social programs WITHOUT the need for GST increment (again, it is my flimsy understanding at best, but the jury is still out there).

For discussion purpose, let’s just say someone higher up in the food chain decides to visit some out of reach countries like US (some 9000 miles away), not once, but say again for discussion purposes, something like 4 times a year. Now, supposedly he is entitled to first class SQ airfare, these would work out to be in this region:

First Class Airfare to US – S$18, 000 x 4 = S$72,000
Business Class Airfare – S$10,500 x 4 = S$42,000

Difference between 1st and Business = S$30,000

Let’s not even get me started on cost saving by Economy class fare, travel perks (read Subsistence Allowance) and his entourage. Yes, Elites need entourage. To make sure that first and foremost, he looks damn solid, being surrounded by cheebyes. Then someone to do the trip report and lastly, call it CHEAP but those underlining are willing to be the chaps to do all these just so he/she can tag along. So you see, it is a vicious cycle and everyone is jumping into the wagon.

Call it a baptism of fire, every staff officer will and have to go through these phase of life. When they come of age, they too, will continue the traditions. Why not? EVERYONE IS DOING IT!

Such is life of course, the top bosses will have everything and the cattle class nothing, save if they are lucky, some leftover scraps. If the government is genuinely concern about the lower end of the working class, they could do something, anything in its power to assist them; at least assured them of the next meal. But alas, whoever will care for the outcast? Firstly, they don’t make a difference to the vote since they are but a small minority, neither are they economically powerful enough (even as a group) to affect the outcome of anything. So why bother about them? Beside, following the argument, they are also not very smart too or so the elites thought (could be proven… but who knows).

Therein lies my many-logies on “Social Change theorem”; Should the underprivileged bound together to affect a positive/negative outcome (A Tamil uprising in Malaysia for instance) or just keep their mouth shut and do whatever the elites tell them to do? Heck, even my mom has a good mind to kick the CPF officer ass

The thing goes like this: nowadays Government say

1. Keep min. S$30K in Retirement account (RA), then they give full incentive
2. Mom don’t have full sum in RA, so the officer ask her to top up
3. Mom pointed out that, NOW she can’t even take out HER CPF money and yet, the Government still wants her to top up with her hard earned cash… What are the odds

Like Kwek said, I don’t think we will ever get our estate upgraded. Besides, if I were in her shoes, most probably I will lan lan pay up. See, that is the difference between gutless Bird and Powerful Mom.

To reiterate, if Ministers are genuinely concerned (lacking of a better word); surely paying them sufficiently would be sufficient, not astronomical figures. Why use the pegging order of top money earners in the industry. I’m sure you have read about it all; the pros versus the cons of such a peg and how we can have a better salary system. But alas, like many Singaporean, we only know how to complain without concrete plans to solve problems. Complain like talk, is cheap. Everyone can do it but not everyone can find a solution. The Oppositions are not helping either (read my previous post).

And surely the Ministers deserved a pat on their back. Hey, they are earning more than the Chief Justice of the United States. While I am at it, heck, even Bush also never get to sniff so much money in his time in office. Of course, elites once argued that they don’t have secret service protection, Air Force One on standby and stuffs. Right of course. Just like my Cheese Pie Colleague back at the US Desk; everything and anything also he say. No point arguing with someone who only thought is not to let him be shortchanged, like the mindset of the elites.

Cheese Pie Colleague Christian somemore… Haha. Not to say I what lah, but he should be wiser.

God gave the elites powerful minds to lead and bring prosperities for their people, while they make it a point to worship him in all his glory, they should also be more humble and not everything also you have a reason (说了就算). In the end, you will be up there being judged. I might be wrong but I don’t think worshipping with all your might will get you through the pearly gates. I’m pretty sure in all God’s glory, other actions will also play an important deciding factor too. If solely based on worshipping, I think there might be a riot brewing somewhere liao…

So I might be overly generalizing but unless you are economically viable for Singapore, you are next to nothing. That encompass most elderly, mentally and physically challenged and of course, the lower spectrum of the population. Seeing how most policies are defined saddened me. Poor/old/useless citizens’ ends are so near that they are literally forgotten in the course policy formulation; Classic Example – CPF’s change announcement first, then set up committee to gather feedback. Oxymoronic I know but that is how we allow ourselves to be ruled and guided. And where are the voices for the less fortunate? Oh, forgive me, They DON’T have a voice. My bad… My Bad

Don’t get me wrong, I am totally for the idea of financial independence and belief that you are ultimately responsible for your survival, however country governance should also entails some compassion. Not everything boils down to dollar and cents, as I mentioned elsewhere, we have to acknowledge the fact that we are not born equal and that not everyone has the ability to survive. Altruism thrives a million years ago and still continuing to be precisely it accords a survival benefits for everyone. Following this evolutionary theory, shouldn’t people of similar predication; A rich general public/private partnership (as compared to tribes) helping lesser off fellow citizens? We have a rich general/private partnership in place. The only problem is benefits for whom? And WHY should anyone do that… Would a Homogenous country be a better test bed? A DEFINITE YES. But we don’t have a choice, given the scenario and external elements. SO it is pretty much redundant to discuss its impact.

The way senior officials splurge at the expense of the government disgust me to the end. Spending taxpayers’ money on seemingly inconsequential stuffs like airfare, hotel, subsistence allowances, official hosted lunches etc. Of course, it is their entitlement and having work their way up the food chain, either by sheer hardwork or pure luck, they will have this inclination to milk the systems (as quoted). Of course also, they have all the ways and means to justify their entitlement, even though as frivolously lame excuses as it can get.

We just have to understand one universal, the only truth; Civil Service is infallible. They can back up everything with facts and evidence and even to the very end, they are still blameless. It is the masses that are the dumb Asses and Idiots. With such understanding, then it will be easier to digest whatever shit being thrown by them to us.

But ain’t us the ones that own the country and they are there to run it? Or was that we are mere guest in their little kingdom… Oh well, stay tuned to my next cowpeh session.

I know this may come as an anti-climax and most probably Nyo will cow peh again but

Nichole!!! I MISS YOU!!

Monday, December 17, 2007

KNIFE CUT TOFU 2 SIDE SMOOTH

17 December 2007
Rainy Monday (24 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2230 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 你那么爱她 by林隆璇 & 李圣杰
Mood: *Over the Jurong Hill*

I slept for 3 hours in the afternoon. It seems I have incurred a sleep debt from my week of hectic life. Anyway, was more energize despite receiving like 6 sms along the way. Went for dinner with Mom & kid brother and something caught my attention. The cleaners/cutleries collectors are predominantly in their retirement age. This got me thinking about one of our DPM dinner speeches in USA, as he tried to convince overseas Singaporean to return. On the government assistance to cushion the retrenched/older citizens, he mentioned specifically that there are many training sessions in place; after that, they can look forward to be gainfully employed as cleaners and security guards. Yup, those were his exact words, plus and minus some grammatical errors and Yes, I also nearly fall off my chair.

Life, it seems, is getting a little tougher for everyone. Following my blog “Are we ready for Social Change”, the booms in selected sectors are apparently not filtering down to the masses fast enough. Income gap has widened to a 10 years high, GST increase, inflation (another record breaking spree) and now, when you think at the age of 62 can take full CPF… Poof, Government says “for your own good, we are delaying it”. And what did it do with these money? Buy annuity insurance for people beyond 80s. I can think offhand a good example of this flaw; if an old chap can lived beyond say 85, chances are he/she would probably be in good health. To be in good health, he/she would most likely have comprehensive health coverage and thus, also be like rich. See the flow? SO why do they even need these annuities to begin with? But, Bird is an ignorance bird, anyhow say one. Don’t quote me.

Recently, PM’s Kent Ridge Ministerial Forum speech got some people talking, opinions differ; some say he generalizing (too much) on non-critical issues (think International Ties), others, more critically, say he humoring us, treating us like small kids (CPF policy change). I would prefer he does not beat around the bush. At least MM gives a straight no-nonsense answer. Tell us the rationale and make sure layman can understand, not rebuke us on our ignorance (like some of his Ministers). Take welfare for instance. Depending on which side you are on, it could be painful (lack of any monetary/policy support perhaps) or totally for it (NO SUPPORT!! FUCKERS!!).

Sometime I understand why the government reluctance to grant more basic handouts for the lower income and not least be seen as racist. Based on the demography whom these handouts will benefits, we can almost (to a fault) singled out the Malays. Despite their minority status, I believe they will be overwhelmingly majority for social benefits (if ever these are relaxed). As I mentioned elsewhere, social welfarism is and will always be an ugly word. Disregarding its role as a double-edged sword; More generous social grants will indeed help those really in need but it will also permeate a more dependency-orientation and perhaps more so among the Malays. Not to say all Malays need some form of help, but the statistics do not speak well for them. It is like this little bumper sticker I saw in US:

Work harder Bird, Millions on Welfare Depends on You…

Personally, of all the ruling governments’ idiosyncrasy policies, I have to disagree on the minimum wages part. And seeing some of the ministers’ arguments not to have minimum wages, it seems at best a pathetic attempt to artificially suppressed wages. It does have its own benefits; competitiveness, inflation (however little) and even welfare. In a more humane point of view, I think it is not the way to go. We can say until the cow go home and become oil, essentially, we are looking at granting some assistance to our needy citizens, not any fucker foreigner.

How can a hardworking Citizen, whose only fault is education (lack of), with lesser opportunities henceforth, be stranded with whatever their employers’ could offered? In some cases, as cited by Strait Times (ST); some are doing the same job; only different uniform and a lesser pay.

Cleaning agencies, in their fierce battle to win contracts, slash the price of their bids. The losers: the cleaners who end up with even lower pay.

Prof Hui notes that outsourcing also encourages service buyers such as building owners to switch to cheaper cleaning contracts. This means some cleaners may continue in the same job under a different employer - often wearing just differently coloured uniforms - while others are forced to seek new employment. (ST Online)

These are not your usual lazy-don’t-want-to-work-cos-too-far-from-their-house etc you heard over the news and widely reported but are hardworking and by whatever fate, landed a dead end job. Having said that, I do know of a Lady friend whom

1. Complain her job mundane, no challenges
2. Pay too less, no responsibility but then I pointed out that she also no need over time
3. Then got job offer, better pay but she complain workplace too far, need to work over time
4. Present job can have time for children bearing but then pay too less, blah blah blah

It is time like this that you can appreciate this little oxymoronism in life. I mean where can find a job that pays fucking well, have NO responsibility and still can go home on time. If got, I also take. Haha, but then in line with my philosophy, to each he/her own. It is but the many choices one made in life.

Moving on, we should not penalize the lower stratum of the population in the name of efficiency and productivity. To quote elsewhere, companies’ long hours are often a substitute for productivity and doing 2 jobs with one paycheck (The Economist). It does make economical sense for any profit-driven companies (even for NGOs, Government and the list go on). Therein lies my disagreement, I am very sure having some minimum wages resolution will not harm our overall productivity index and for that matter, GDP. From Statistics (CIA World), since we have no viable poverty figure, we can safely assumed that nearly 90% of the populations are above the norm and living comfortably, so such ruling will not affect them as much as the lower 5 – 10% of the percentile. For them, every cents count and all the government need is to set aside their budget rounding error for them. And I am not even faulting them on the 2% GST increment that specifically aim at elevating their hardship. 7% GST has been in place for about ½ year and still no news. Now, this is either a very bad efficiency in whichever department in the Government that pride itself to be efficient or (probably not but) some way to squeeze the population by the balls. Hey, people are rumoring that Temasek need the funds after all their recent mishap investment.

Also, Arguing on the basic of increasing their breath of knowledge through retraining such that they can be more productive and better equipped to handle more sophisticated operations, really saddened me. We are only humans, and following that perspective, we were never made to be equal. Equality has been corrupted by the elites and distorted to emphasize only on economic contributions first, the rest secondary. That in itself, is a tragedy for all stakeholders.

My only fault? I blog-isdise whatever that was verbalize in coffee shop talk.

For many, I am pretty sure we would not mind footing a little more to aid our less privilege citizens. If the Ministers are genuinely concern about the welfare of our people, they should take the lead and limit their salary increment. Of course, we now know that none are doing it, for whatever reasons.

Even the opposition MPs (for whatever they are championing for) lack this moral leadership. They cry foul for every little play that was thrown at them and yet they don’t even have the moral high ground to put forth a snub at the ruling party; NO, we will donate all increment to the charity. So it seems it all boils down to our unique system of governance; Pay the elites enough to keep their mouth shut and hands from straying. It works either way. Beside, it is based on this theory that once the elites are so fattened that they will not look elsewhere and to serve the nation with such pride that would even make the democrats pee in their pants.

Hence, I can put forth a reason, a naïve theory, a hope if you may, that someday may come to fruition.

Knife Cut Tofu, 2 Side Smooth (whatever that means) haha

Oh before I end this VERY long and Boring Entry, I have to shout it loud:

I MISSED NT!! Every time I look at her picture I can almost to a certainty, break into a very hearty smile. Yup, I am THAT in love with her. ARRGHH… Hee

Sunday, December 16, 2007

SO THERE IS THIS GIRL AND SHE KIND OF HAS MY HEART

16 December 2007
Clear Sunday (27 Degree Celsius)
Late Afternoon @ 1730 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 你那么爱她 by林隆璇 & 李圣杰
Mood: *Over the Trash bin*

I am over the moon now. Told you my moods are like roller coaster ride from everywhere and anywhere. To cut the sob story short, I am happy as a bird, as a bird, AS a Bird. Seriously, I am happy, elevated, and euphoric. Whatever happened Bird?

Nothing…

That aside, today did something miraculous. Like? For one, I actually did my job search instead of waiting for weekdays. Yup, in between my cup of tea and sub-consciousness, I sent out 2 applications. Haiz, WHY NO CHEEBYE COMPANY CALL ME UP FOR INTERVIEWS!! In my regime, these buggers companies gona suffer jialat jialat…

Moving on, heard from a friend of a friend of a … that someone I knew (barely) was expelled from his organization under very cloudy circumstances (we are guessing it was for sleeping with someone). Nothing wrong with that. It is but a basic need of humanity. If any fault, then blame it on his dick. Like this Joke

Imaginary Dialogue: At Speed Dating

Isabelle: I believe in Women’s right to choose
Bird: Me too. I will choose you IF you choose me
Isabelle: Would you believe I never seen “Pretty Woman”?
Bird: Argh, I hope you like the hooker movie without the Nudity… Boy was I disappointed when I rented it
Isabelle: Sigh… Well, I guess it is true that Men are from Mars and …
Bird: Worship my Penis!! haha … Errm, I mean …

Last night sms her never reply, make me so malu in front of CK, today just send a courtesy greeting reply until got dragon got tiger. But that’s ok. I am happy, that is all that matters.

So there is this Girl and she kind of has my heart. Yup, She is always in my heart.
Enjoy the Song and MTV!



你那么爱她 by 林隆璇 & 李圣杰

直到爱消失你才懂珍惜
身边每个风景只是它早已离去

直到你想通他早已再对你留恋
最后的你开始了一段挣扎

你那么爱她
为什么不把她留下
为什么不说心里话
你深爱她这是每个人都知道啊

你那么爱她
为什么不把她留下
是不是你有深爱的两个她
所以你不想再让自己无法自拔

YOU KINDA, SORTA, BASICALLY, PRETTY MUCH, ALWAYS ON MY MIND

16 December 2007
Clear Sunday (24 Degree Celsius)
Late Night @ 0200 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 阴天by 李宗盛
Mood: *Over the Rainbow*

Another day has passed. Same old thingy; days seem to pass real fast during weekends and damn slow during the other days. Not that it matters anyway. Days as the saying goes, err… fuck up? Oh yes, CK mentioned that next Thursday is Hari Raya Haji. Seriously, not that it matters in anyway. How so? Oh yes, let’s starts with Joblessness, and the rest will flow into the picture.

Moving on, was checking some executive MBA/MSc thingy with the local Universities. The GMAT/GRE test pre-requisite aside, we are looking at a good 25 to 45K school fees. Man, with such money, I rather do my own investment than studying another 2 – 3 years again. Imagine the returns…

Wanted to ask NT out for Christmas lighting viewing over at Orchard road. But then, it dawn me another revelation; to what purpose… So I did what I do best; i.e I drive to Orchard Road and enjoy the scenery. Same point as watching a movie, by the time I beg/steal/rob/borrow people to enjoy the tour with me, I am better off just doing it alone. This way, there is no heartache from rejection (NT, which is almost to a certainty) and cheese pie excuses from friends. As my theory goes; I am happy, other’s are happy (no need to give cheebye excuses) and hence everyone lived a little longer.

And yes, Did I ever mention NT has a Boyfriend?! What am I trying to prove/be/want? The truth? If I knew what I ever want in anything and everything, do you suppose I will be where I am? That is why also I am pretty much fuck. But I always have some faith and hope in mankind and their fate (in all its glory). As the blog title so aptly goes

You Kinda, Sorta, Basically, Pretty much, Always on my Mind… Yup, you, who else

So long never post some jokes, perhaps due to my emotional fatigue and you know, the works. So here is a long one… Hope you enjoy it.

Imaginary Dialogue: Putting on Contact Lens

Han: Damn these Contacts, I can never keep my eyes open, putting them in
Han: I just need to fucking gird my loins and fight through this
Bird: That’s exactly what I do when I forget my GF birthday
Han: What? You gird your loins?
Bird: Yup, I find pain, especially loinwards, is an effective motivator
Han: Girding your loins isn’t what you think it means, its not supposed to be painful
Bird: Then you are doing it wrongly… Are you doing it with a heavy enough gird?
Han: You are holding a Gourd…
Bird: No, it’s a Gird… Why would I gird my loins with a gourd?
Han: This is the MOST ridiculous conversation I ever had…
Bird: Ok, well, what does girding my loins mean then?
Han: it’s figurative, it just means getting ready
Bird: What? My loins never need getting ready
Bird: What am I? A Woman?

Oh yes, here is the MTV to 阴天. Enjoy!

Till we meet again

Friday, December 14, 2007

傻傻两个人笑的多甜, 可是我们最终没有缘

14 December 2007
Clear Friday (25 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 0330 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 阴天by 李宗盛
Mood: *Over the Hills*

It is 3.30am now. How time flies, what did I do today?

Had a great lunch with Blue Bunny, talk some stuffs and as usual, Mr Bunny has all the right analogy and reasoning for everything under the sun. That is why he is Bunny while I am Bird. Oh yes, that’s his sort of real nick by the way… Why Blue Bunny you might ask? This you need to ask his wife who for obvious reason is called Pink Bunny. Tell me again why am I not surprise…

Anyway, rush to Takashimaya to get Lala some birthday vouchers, went home after lunch, did laundry, had another cup of nice warm sweeten milk tea and shower. Get to Shenton Way to pick up Chris and off to Central for dinner with the birthday girl.

It was a nice dinner… especially the waitress who was particularly nice (pretty is an added bonus). But then, she tried to accent accent a bit. Haha, it’s a nice try and sure was pretty sexy if you ask me. Had a great dinner with lala and Chris. Talk cock, sing songs, pity no guitar to play.

My mood seems to be getting better? Nah, its just that I deserve an Oscar for my award winning acts. No matter, life still goes on with or without you. Maybe it’s me, but every time your sms is punctuated with a smiley, it just melts me down. It could be your style or/and perhaps you do that to every sms but for that, I think I shall overlook. It is just not me to use smiley on friends I drats/fancy/ok-only. That is why I said, it melts me but that is just Bird.

I missed you already…

Do you feel the same? I supposed not… Still I chose to miss you every single minute of my waking day.

阴天 by 李宗盛

阴天在不开灯的房间, 当所有思绪都一点一点沉淀
爱情究竟是精神鸦片, 还是世纪末的无聊消遣
香烟氲成一滩光圈, 和他的照片就摆在手边
傻傻两个人笑的多甜

开始总是分分钟都妙不可言, 谁都以为热情它永不会减
除了激情褪去后的那一点点倦
也许像谁说过的贪得无厌, 活该应了谁说过的不知检点
总之那几年感性赢了理性的那一面

阴天在不开灯的房间, 当所有思绪都一点一点沉淀
爱恨情欲里的疑点, 盲点呼之欲出那么明显
女孩通通让到一边, 这歌里的细微末节就算都体验
若想真明白真要好几年

回想那一天喧闹的喜宴, 耳边响起的究竟是序曲或完结篇
感情不就是你情我愿

最好爱恨扯平两不相欠, 感情说穿了一人挣脱的一人去捡
男人大可不必百口莫辩, 女人实在无须楚楚可怜
总之那几年你们两个没有缘

Thursday, December 13, 2007

I AM HOLDING ONTO A DREAM THAT WILL NEVER COME TRUE

13 December 2007
Clear Thursday (25 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 0210 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 爱要怎么说出口 by 赵传
Mood: *Bird lagi Sad*

And so it happened.

I actually drive all the way to Dragonfly just to say hi. Just a Hi, nothing fanciful, nothing overly exciting. The things I will do for her. Despite my exhaustion or just maybe because of it, now at 2am, I am having insomnia. And guess what, this is our only second meet.

Why did He let us meet, if we could never be together?

We had a chat, the duration of which is like having a cigarette and my car valet parked. So in all, it is like 15 min. I spent 1 hour to and fro just for that precious 15 min to see her.

We had a chat… not much, but still, it is a chat. I speak gently and she replied softly, we exchanged pleasantries, we smile, we chat a bit; her flight schedules, parent’s visit tomorrow and the supper she will be having later. We had that chat.

Mission accomplished, no? Your wish is just to pop over for a Hi-bye kind of thing and you achieved it. So what can be otherwise? Birdie… what is wrong then?

So are you happy tonight bird? Or should I just say you are a pathetic Loser…

Sound so much enduring isn’t it? Calling oneself a loser. I know, despite everything that happened, might happen and maybe, just maybe will happen, it will all come to naught. Nothing to be sad of actually, nothing to be angry about, it is all my part of wishful thinking.

The main question is, Are you Happy Bird?

Are you fucking happy that you get to see her and managed a Hi NT, How have you been…

I would have killed myself a million times over and yet, I still will do it again.

It is but a simple and brutal truth essentially; a person can get used to anything, including pain. And only pain can consistently excite your emotions: whether contemplating it when life is safe and stable or fleeting it when life is threatened and precious. Or perhaps letting go is a better option?

她没有错, 只是我的梦该醒了, 路多难也要走下去吧™

And then I realised that I do have faith, faith in myself, faith that I would one day meet someone who would be sure that I was the one™

爱要怎么说出口 by 赵传

教我怎么能不难过, 你劝我灭了心中的火
我还能够怎么说怎么说都是错

你对我说离开就会解脱, 试着自己去生活试着找寻自我
别再为爱蹉跎

只是爱要怎么说出口, 爱要怎么说出口
我的心里好难受, 如果能将你拥有我会忍住不让眼泪流
第一次握你的手指间传来你的温柔
每一次深情眼光的背后
谁知道会有多少愁多少愁

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

THE WORLD STILL MOVES WITHOUT YOU

12 December 2007
Lightly Drizzle Wednesday (26 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2350 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 别让我哭 by 陈升
Mood: *Bird is still Sad*

Finally got back my Toshiba laptop today. Spent the whole day syncing everything and trying to get the hang of it again. Nothing beats my personal laptop, can surf porns in peace, download X-rated Movies, See like-that-also-can sex moves and stuffs. Plus I got super powerful firewall and internet protection. Nah, joking, no porns (yet). Should be the effect of the medication… Making me impotent. This is what happened when I got nothing to blog about…

Let’s see… I survive one day of not thinking about her. Tell me, seriously, how not to think of her. She’s going to Dragonfly later in the night… And guess what, none of my cheese pie friends can make it, all give cheese pie excuses. If I can go alone, why do you think I even ask them?! Not asking them for an arm or limb. Well, as I have said, they are cheese pie, so that basically summed up everything about them.

To further Giggs’s theory on friendship; as we aged, the quantity of friends lessens, while quality improves. How true, after some time, people have different priority and weird ideas. So either they drop out of your radar deliberate or you chose to close the loop. Nothing to be sad about or disappointed, that is life. The world still moves on without you.

On a sadder note, still trying to get her out of my system, slowly but surely, it will be done. It will be tough in the initial phase but it will be done, it has to be. Better this way, lesser heartache rather than prolonging this endless agony. I don’t understand God sometime. Why did He let us meet, if we could never be together? That is why perhaps, I chose to remain secular. It is easier on papers and explanation. I did not lose faith, but it is fading as I live my life.

I waited all my life, just hoping for one more minute with you, and I don’t even know you.

To end… to world’s end

I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it (City of Angels, 1998)

别让我哭 by 陈升

因为有山才能依偎着云, 然而它们可以生活在一起
因为有你所以才有等待, 等待情人风中依稀的身影

不了解自己甘心做你的影子, 就这样紧紧而无助地跟随着你
你要我哭我没有了名字, 我的名字从此叫做孤独

因为我不放心我自己, 才将我的生命托付了你
我已寻寻觅觅好几个世纪, 此生不能让你从我怀中离去
情人岂是可以随便说说而已

因为有心所以才有秘密, 然而大部份的时候都是些痛楚
不了解自己甘心做你的影子, 就这样紧紧而无助地跟随着你

你要我哭我没有了名字, 我的名字从此叫做嫉妒

谁让你心动? 谁又让你心痛?

12 December 2007
Heavy Rainy Wednesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 0050 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 爱情转移 by陈奕迅
Mood: *Bird Is Sad*

Today finally did a telegraphic transfer of funds to my US account. Cost me S$50 bucks just to TT the money over. Its ok, my “friends” over there will pay for this insolence… One fine day, when all things go south, they will regret ever stepping on my Tails.

Met Kwek for dinner. Not a bad dinner actually, don’t know why fussy him cow peh so much, I mean, its food no? Despite his steak don’t know what taste (could it be pork?), its still food… Haha. Oh yes, we finally had waffle. Yup, and Gayish us actually shared one teeny weeny waffle. Lucky he married and I am sort of Straight (despite my preferences haha), if not, don’t know how to explain to friends/relatives if they saw us.

On the cannot explain note, I still cannot understand why and how the sky can muster so much water and kept raining it down upon us every day without fail. Driving in these conditions is terribly dangerous but then, no matter, since life’s like that.

Moving on… Its sadness time…

At the end of the eastern world, on this very peak of Jurong Hill Park, in between messaging her, Bird suddenly had a revelation. People already have a boyfriend, why does Bird still clinging onto some little ray of hope? To end, it is not even any hope, or ray, but much worse.

Let’s call it an ideology. An idea that perverse our sanity and make everything seems ok, parallel to justifying one action over morality! For simplicity sake, I’ll call it loneliness. I am lonely (as obvious), perhaps that is why sometime I did certain things unilaterally and prioritizes some lesser importance issues over others (like some humans over others). And I somehow love to make the same mistake over and over again; I just don’t seem to learn. Me think Bird is not very smart up there in the grey matter. I mean, take any animals, give it a Pavlov’s Dog Reflex test, it can learn with flying colors, so what then be so difficult as this conscious learning?

But then, bird never will learn. He hasn’t, still is and will probably never be. This is a personal tragedy on his part. Nevertheless, his only saving grace is that every single living thing only lived once and depending on your belief, could only be living that many years on this planet. So let’s eat, drink, be merry and die then. Less stressful for the heart and better for the World at large.

Till we meet again…

Drats, I have to say I miss you very much again. Though you never will know and most probably I never will tell you anyway. I hate myself… as much as I love the pain of my heart breaks.

I JUST HAVE TO MISS SOMEONE… ANYONE! AND IT HAD TO BE YOU… I am fucked… but happy. I am seriously happy… You brought untold joy and happiness to my world and do you know why?

Because 一切很美, 只因有你™

Monday, December 10, 2007

I DON’T GO BACK EAT LAST TIME GRASS

10 December 2007
Heavy Rainy Monday (26 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2250 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 淘汰 by陈奕迅
Mood: *Oh well…*

Sometime I marvel at what my wonderful Singlish can come up with.

Anyway, it has been like a straight 3 days since I last come up with something in Blog. What have I been busy with? Here there, everywhere stuffs.

Saturday kind of summed up like this:

1. Cupcakes collection from Mandy early morning
2. Met Kwek for a bottle of orange juice in late morning
3. Nearly killed a BIG LONG Iguana basking in the warm afternoon Sun middle of Mandai road
4. Lucky I steady, If not have to add to my growing list of road kills
5. Met Han for late lunch, smoke, eat cupcakes and go home
6. Met CK for supper and crash at 2am

Sunday sounds like this:

1. Met BY and help him move his BIG machine to his home
2. Meet Mr & Mrs Kweks’ for a whole day outing
3. While Jalaning in vivocity, met Peanutz
4. It took me like half a second to figure out who is this girl who waves her hand in front of me
5. Miss her a little bit… But that’s life

On that Note, she is like a girl-next-door; not super captivating or beautiful (hence out of my radar scan) but me think she is super nice. I wonder; whatever happened, Me not good enough for her meh? Well, it is all in the past. She’s still the sweet peanutz I knew decades ago. Keep it that way.

Must thank Mr & Mrs Kwek for the delicious Dim Sum and Dinner. It’s a Great Meal.

Today went to catch a morning show; Golden Compass. I figure by the time I get someone to watch with me; the effort, hassle and everything, I am better off just go to the theatre alone, get it done and over it. Yup, looks like I have gone back to the good old USA days; watching morning movies on a lazy weekend. It is not at all a bad thing, beats waiting for someone to have pity upon me, Right? Sound sad but hey, must make a conscious effort to live life a bit lah.

Then Shit happened. Halfway through the movie, I kena a splitting HEADACHE. But still managed a hearty & LONELY meal. In between meal also overheard a cow peh session by some fake-Aussie-accent Poser Singaporean Cina woman (quite a mouthful) complaining to her Ang Mo Dicks (yup, 2 of them). I wonder and the Ang Mo Dicks were rightly curious; since she said she is in Australia for 2 years only, how to GET that Poser Accent? Right, it is all in the mind. Just speak naturally; clear and concise, can liao… NO NEED to Pose lah. Not as if will be sexier haha.

Oh notice something; my cheebye carpark got filled up to the brim before 8pm. Which also means my cheebye neighbourhood got no LIFE. 55 lots to share among 2 blocks of flat also can overflow to park at other place. Fuck! GET A LIFE YOU BUNCH OF MORONS!!!

Oh my kid brother called. He and Mom are well and enjoying the tour (minus his cold turkey that is). I missed them already. Awww, when they are around, I cow peh them and now they gone like only 4 days, I missed them liao. Tsk tsk.

Toshiba just called and the good news is; the Hard Disk from some exotic location (Like MARS) finally arrived. The bad news is, they need my recovery CDs. Ok, the WORST news would be… recovery discs are hidden somewhere in my Amazon Forest. I can’t reach it without removing ALL my books, shelves and many other somehow-somewhere-along-the-line physical obstacles. HOW NICE!! Cheebye, tomorrow call Toshiba and tell them NO recovery CDs. Why can’t they do something SO seemingly easy as getting the data straight from their HQ? Nabei!

On a happier note, NT is back! Yup, some high point in my otherwise mundane life. And guess what, we have a lunch appointment tomorrow. Ya, I know must cut losses and stuffs but let me be happy for the night can? Not terribly unreasonable and besides, it does no harm/hurt to anyone except myself, I think…

Oh, Dilbert managed to resurrect Asok. Ok, and that’s a good news… Hope he is doing fine as a Mars’ bar. I mean, what can be worst? At the least, the ladies would love to lick him… Never mind



Update: Change in her plan… no more meeting. Alrighty, that was fast… So much for the 20 min of euphoric-ism. Oh well. At least there is some happiness, albeit however short-lived it is.

Told you I am fucked. ALWAYS…

CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN SUCKER BIRD! YOU SWAM THE LENGTH OF THE OCEAN JUST TO SEE NT AND ALL YOU GET IS A LOUSY T SHIRT™

I cannot emphasize enough how fucking happy I am now

Friday, December 7, 2007

MY 100th POSTS!!!

7 December 2007
Heavy Rainy Friday (27 Degree Celsius)
Late Afternoon @ 1750 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 一切很美, 只因有你 by陈慧琳
Mood: *See the SYT!!!*

Oh goody, my 100TH post.

So errm… What now? I was thinking of some fanfare, fireworks etc but alas… One SMS from her also can lah. Obviously it was me who sent her then she replied. You wouldn’t think it was on her initiative right? Right right… Damn, I need to get a grip of myself and my sanity. Hmm…

Where are you my beloved? Why do you so hardheartedly abandon me? Oh yes, speaking of which, I am supposed to be in a hibernating mode these days. Why go slow? Because of doctor’s order. Apparently, my health is failing; the effect of super heavy smoking, drinking and stress. Yup… Guess I am lucky if I am cross my 100 years old. Right right, in reference to my Why-live-till-100 joke earlier… Tell me again why do we need to clock so much mileage? Never mind

Moving on, tonight singing karaoke with Nyo & Elvan. That’s all for the night I guess. Oh yes, Mom & kid brother left for their 10 days Taiwan tour. Right…

Imaginary Dialogue: Over at a bar…

Bird: I had it with all these fuck Internet dating, Blind dating, Speed dating
Bird: I’m just tired of it all that only gets in the way of what I am really there for
Han: So basically you want a “Ready, get set, Fuck”?
Bird: Nope, that’s still too many steps

Yup, those kinds of things that permeate my mind, day in and out… Little wonder how I managed to maintain my sanity hor…

Oh, today also mark the death of Asok… The Intern in Dilbert’s comics… Right… My 100th post is reduced to writing such cheebye. No wonder I got no life left in every bit of my body. OK, Move along now boys & girls. Nothing much to see and till we meet again (which is very soon). Have fun!

CONGRATULATIONS! I SWIM THE LENGTH OF THE OCEAN AND ALL I GET IS A LOUSY T SHIRT™

Thursday, December 6, 2007

I HAVE THE RING OF POWER, SO I TURN SCARLET JOHANSSON INTO MY BOBBLE HEAD

6 December 2007
Heavy Rainy Thursday (25 Degree Celsius)
Late Afternoon @ 1740 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 纯真传说 by Aaron Kwok
Mood: *Drats, we have lost the Initiatives*

Me think… This little obsession of mine is getting a little too weird for comfort.

Yes, as you can see from all my entries, you can find a distinct element of obsession; DARK DARK obsession. It is like… Like I am stalking her? Err…

Ok, this is not very healthy, even for my standard… I should stop being so fixated on her for the time being. But she has this allure, this magic, this spell over bird… HOW NOT TO THINK OF HER? It’s like I am having withdrawal symptoms, its like … Ok, focus BIRD… THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! Right… ok, fuck… It’s ain’t going to be easy…

Actually stopping this obsession is also good for me lah. Seriously, when I am abandoned later, it will be less stressful for my heart. Then again… Why bother? Haha, LETS EAT, DRINK, BE MERRY AND CRY LATER!!!! Fuck the COWS!!!

On a lighter note, today is Yelin’s wedding and guess what… I AM GOING! Damn, I have this sinking feeling I will be a loner down there… WHO ELSE DO I FUCKING KNOW beside the bride, the groom (Ok lah) and myself? Oh yes, there is Lele also… Damn, my point is WHY OH WHY!!!! Fuck it, just go, get it over and done with it.

Imaginary Dialogue: Inside a Taxi

Bird: Uncle, Jurong … What the fuck… where’s the driver?
Taxi: Oops, sorry Buddy, I forgot I was wearing the Ring of Power
Bird: Errm, You have ring of power and yet you drive taxi?
Taxi: Yup, I have Ring of Power so I turned Scarlet Johansson into my bobble head… Say Hi, Scarlet…
Scarlet: Fuck you

纯真传说 by Aaron Kwok

追寻又继续追寻
梦里的影子终可接近
可能又似没可能
为了她只好一等再等

因心中约誓, 曾互送上不死约誓
这相恋约誓
情路我和你围困我和你围困
要浪漫到底

曾主宰我的梦曾主宰我生命
曾主宰我心火烫火烫的眼睛
纯真怎会消逝纯真怎会虚伪
纯真的爱恋怎会怎会出了轨
纯真早已枯萎

一切很美, 只因有你

6 December 2007
Damn Heavy Rainy Wednesday (26 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 0120 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛
Mood: *because of you*

It is another long wet day. Sudden downpour the whole morning and has been raining like cats and dogs since. At times I wonder, where the clouds find so much water to keep pouring down on and on for 3 to 4 hours on end. Amazing isn’t it?

Today marks the start of her 5 days away from Singapore. Sometime I wonder also, what difference it make/do even if she stays permanently in Singapore instead of going places. Hmm, apparently not much. Well, I figure sometime it is better to play dumb, easier on the heart.

Do I miss messaging her? Yup, sort of. Cos she actually replied (ok, so that’s a good news) and punctuate her replies with smiley faces every time. Told you I am a sucker for cheap thrills. Somewhere over at the other end of the universe, there is someone missing you right now.

Oh and just so you know, I happened to sneeze twice today… Was that you?

Told You I love these little day dreaming fantasies… Guilty as charged
If only you ever would know…

BECAUSE, 一切很美, 只因有你™

Enjoy the MTV



一切很美, 只因有你 by 陈慧琳

自我有着你, 快活我太多
日日让种种感觉, 好好的擦过
教我更喜爱做我

能够有你, 纵有挫折不难过
仍旧冲刺我未怕跌堕
旁人问你是谁你是谁, 我说你是心中找到的信心

星也闪进眼中, 海也跟我相拥
所有所有感觉也美, 当开始有你
一切因你发起, 一切美只因有你

Oh what a wonderful life

风会吹暖我心, 阳光会跟我亲吻
所有所有感觉也美, 多喜欢有你
一切因你发起, 一切美只因有你

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

WHEN ALL THINGS FAIL, LOOK EAST, I WILL COME TO YOUR AID!

4 December 2007
Windy Tuesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 他没有错 by 范玮琪
Mood: *Me Again?*

Let’s talk about my hair (but of course… since this is MY Blog). Following the hair check last evening, the doctor came up with 2 conclusions; my hair is not dropping, just thinning AND it is known as male pattern hair loss. Ok… Now what?

The good news is WE have the Technology, We can rebuilt them (Figuratively speaking)

The bad news is… firstly it is going to be a life long process of external application via hair spray. Moreover, hair growth will most probably be (best case scenario) carpet grass rather than Amazon Forest. BUT at least I get to keep whatever I had left above for as long as I want. Right…

I could also theoretically take some pills which apparently got more active ingredients and hence technically more effective. But as with all medication, it does have some side effects; namely impotency and still impotency. Why Impotency? Actually some researches concluded that it is the male hormone (namely testetorones) that causes hair loss. Hence preventive medications are used to lower the male sex hormones and bingo! Impotency. For that, we both logically and rationally conclude; Single Bird needs all the sex he can muster. So for now, NO PILLS…

Damn it, what can be worst when in the spur of heat, brother Willy cannot stand straight… And how the fuck I going to explain that I am on medication hence blah blah blah… So Hair spray is GOOD… No Effect on Willy. I cannot emphasize enough how important that is… Not that I am getting any on an EVERY DAY kind of thing, but you never know… haha

Oh yes, I have to apologize for my previous post. I was a little too emotional. Besides, it was my fault actually; it was me who single-handedly wishing so hard to meet her and stuffs. Also my own theory specifically states that Higher expectation equates to higher disappointment. So if things don’t turn out well, who else can I blame but myself? See my logic? Bingo… she is just an innocent party in this whole episode. Funny how a run at 1pm under the HOT afternoon sun can clear my thoughts so well… Funnily also, I ran because I was too lazy to buy cigarettes from the convenient store some 10 min walk away.

她没有错, 只是没有陪我到最后™

So how now? Nothing much has changed anyway. I still miss her.

So what can I do? Nothing much also. Just wait and wait and wait and…

Well, Hopefully one day I will wake up from my dream and kick myself in the balls. Till then, at least let me have some false hopes. Like my counter-theory; False hope is better than No Hope. Despite sounding and its apparent meaning; both of which like very tragic, it is really a quiessential aspect of our survival. How would I know? Research aside; I am one WALKING fucking Example. Enough said.

Tell you a secret… I Do hope to see you some time… But then, You never will know and I will never get to see you anyway. Still, I will miss you. And I made an active choice to miss you despite everything. That’s a real tragedy… On my part mostly.

It Ain’t pretty but hey, that’s a Bird’s Life™

为了这次相聚我连见面时的呼吸都曾反复练习

4 December 2007
Windy Tuesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛
Mood: *Why Me?*

为了这次相聚我连见面时的呼吸都曾反复练习

You could have told me earlier rather than now… that you have errands to run and stuffs. I could have done so many things differently and not blindly waiting for you. For Instance, I would NOT place such high hopes and such HIGH expectation wanting to meet you! And as usual, I never practice what I preach…

为了你的承诺我在最绝望的时候都忍着不哭泣

How can we deprive our body from such basic human instincts as longing? I am very disappointed, not for you but that I lost control of my emotions and places such a high expectation on meeting you. But you gave me strength in face of such adversity in life. Never mind that it is just my side of heartache.

言语从来没能将我的情意表达千万分之一, 为了这个遗憾我在夜里想了又想不肯睡去

I am sad… for whatever reasons, I am just sad.

在漫天风沙里望着你远去我竟悲伤的不能自已

But I miss you a lot. Never mind that we have not even met once after that.

陌生的城市啊熟悉的角落里, 也曾彼此安慰也曾相拥叹息不管将会面对什么样的结局

I need someone, anyone… Who can blame me for my weakness… I’m lonely. I am fucking Lonely.

在漫天风沙里望着你远去我竟悲伤的不能自已, 多盼能送君千里直到山穷水尽一生和你相依

Yup, if only there is someone waiting for me at the end of this tunnel… If only there is someone…

漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛

为你我用了半年的积蓄飘洋过海的来看你
为了这次相聚我连见面时的呼吸都曾反复练习

言语从来没能将我的情意表达千万分之一
为了这个遗憾我在夜里想了又想不肯睡去

记忆它总是慢慢的累积在我心中无法抹去
为了你的承诺我在最绝望的时候都忍着不哭泣

陌生的城市啊熟悉的角落里
也曾彼此安慰也曾相拥叹息不管将会面对什么样的结局

在漫天风沙里望着你远去我竟悲伤的不能自已
多盼能送君千里直到山穷水尽一生和你相依

Monday, December 3, 2007

YOU, ME. HANDCUFFS & WHIPPED CREAM. ANY QUESTIONS?

3 December 2007
Windy Monday (31 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2210 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 伤心地铁 by李宗盛
Mood: *Another Day in here…*

I’m sick.

No, not sick of you, just sick. Ate something wrong perhaps. Now tummy feels damn weird & queasy. Oh drats. And to make matter worst, I think I can’t tahan the air quality here, my nose has been itchy and sneezing since I am back. Fuck…

Oh yes, to test my hypothesis on our mighty public health system; I made an appointment for a hair specialist over at National Skin Center last week. Firstly I made an online appointment and even call back to confirm the date 2 days after. No such luck, receptionist say not in system, meaning too bad SUCKER! Ok, there goes one point. Proceed to request another day and got it today at 1750hrs. WONDERFUL, in the evening somemore… Its Ok, still cool. Waited for ½ hr, diagnose, chit chat a bit and get my medicine (some hair spray), the damage was S$200 bucks. Nothing morally wrong or right here… Some people can argue it is a cosmetic needs (whoever say hair loss is fatal?) and it is part of the vanity process but it got me thinking, so if you are poor and losing hair how? Life is tough, too bad for you. Yup, that’s the way it is over here.

On a lighter note, I am meeting NT tomorrow. I know I know… According to Nyo; 有时候,应该有决定放弃的智慧,男人的青春也是有限的. Yes, but you see, Bird just cannot resist the temptation. My flesh is weak and after I got dump (which is very soon and likely) then I shall come pouring out my sorrow here. Yup, that’s my life. It is a vicious cycle and I am living it happily. Ah, blind ignorance is bliss while stupidity is lagi more blessed. So let me at least filled myself with such euphoric-ism, in case I might not be able to feel it for another long time. Then after all these intense happiness, I get to crash real hard. I am seriously sick… But usually my best post is when I am fucking crushed and near shit bottom depression. I am seriously fucked…

Moving on, last night popped over to Han & Nicole’s Home. Ah, Nice place dudes and a very nice Christmas tree… when is that WHITE Christmas party?

Imaginary Dialogue: Over at a bar…

Bird: I wana get a tattoo
Han: Err, why?
Bird: Cos Chicks Dig dangerous Guys… And Dangerous Guys have tattoo…
Han: Don’t think you need any help convincing girls that you are unsafe

Sunday, December 2, 2007

ARE WE READY FOR SOCIAL CHANGE?

3 December 2007
Windy Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1410 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛 (too bad…)
Mood: *Reformasi haha… Reform what?*

Actually the essence of communism is a rather good ideology, in theory at least. What corrupt the systems as with most other ideologies is the greed and individualism of mankind. Communism as an institution promotes the establishment of a classless social organization (like Government for instance) based on the common ownership as a means for production; in other words, for the better good of mankind as a whole.

The basic struggle between the Proletariat and the Bourgeoisie is not going to end anytime soon; beside, smarty pants have always coming up with better way to control the sleepy heads (Slaves, Fiefdom and now Maids from elsewhere haha). But Bird believes that there must be some balance in these quest and equation. No, of course not, don’t be silly/naïve. Since early days (depending on your belief), Men has either been subjected to lead or be led by others. Let’s keep the “for the better theory” aside, for simplicity.

Basing on this belief and along line with my previous assessments, Leaders should therefore make good the life of their followers, enriching themselves along the way is not really a moral sins (except at the expense of others). However, there are tons of factors that are beyond the realm of my pathetic blog to even briefly discuss the waywardness of such an assessment. Let’s just pick one; the need for basic social welfare. Firstly, we have to understand the fundamentals of human weakness/strength, the source of our diversity; we are not made equal.

Now that we got the obvious straighten out, herein lies the struggle for class identification. I read a series of Articles in the Strait times today that bemoans the plight of the lower income strata of our citizens. Mind you, it is citizens we are referring here, not some social visits, non residence aliens. These are against a backdrop of economic prosperity and a better than forecast growth by the Trade Ministry. But something is not proper here, never mind that the Government’s hands off approaches to social welfarism (I understand and actually sympathize with them on this aspect) but it seems that the wealth and achievement for the overall economy is/are not moving downwards to the masses (fast enough). And if that is not the worst news, inflation is going to be at 16 year high of 3.6%? Projected inflation estimated at 4.6 next year… oh fuck…

For the lower income family, there is no better timing; median income for low skilled workers (like cleaners for instance) has also fallen from S$860 to S$600 within the last 10 years. So factoring in annual inflation, cost of living, sex and everything, they are in a worst off position than they even begin with. It is like putting money in bank and getting returns that are less than inflation. Oh wait, isn’t that what the banks are doing? Right…

When the Government announces the 2% increment (read my blog on this earlier) that specifically catered for social programs… So err, now… Where’s the program? From the report, apparently there is only like 30 dollars increment (up from a nominal of S$260 per month). Ok, so that’s a good news? It gets better when Ministers are telling the masses something along the line like “What do you want? More Money?” Yup, something like that…

All in all, are we ready for social change? Nah, don’t bother. People still have food on table, roof over their heads, albeit the richer ones having skyroof and abalone for breakfast, still are basics nevertheless. Besides, people are either too chicken hearted to muster their courage for change (whatever that fits the bill) or they prefer cow pehing in coffee shop talks. Either case, the masses are fucked and it is all their fault.

Well, Like I said, Change starts with Bird but I’ll let Mankind keep their Gods too.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

I SWIM THE BREATH OF THE OCEAN JUST TO BE WITH YOU AND ALL I GET IS A LOUSY T-SHIRT!

1 December 2007
Windy Saturday (27 Degree Celsius)
Night Just Ended @ 1900 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛
Mood: *Rightt….*

Firstly, due to certain rules for the Men’s 10km Run (Stanchart Marathon), I am not running tomorrow. Might as well lah, since the fuck thigh strain has not really recovered.

Also, I’m in a pretty cheebye mood now. I planned for everything and some cheebye has to fuck it up. Oh yes, there are a lot of such fuckers around. Especially when you least expect it.

Oh Oh, on that note, she invited me to join her later at Dragonfly last night. Ok, that’s nice… So sweet… But wait… There’s a catch apparently. I am supposed to get there, pretending to be less of a loser, try to call her and hopefully by whatever luck, I can get to meet her. How NICE isn’t it? And oh yes, I should get a few friends there, cos she has to entertain a lot of people remember? Oh golly, double NICE.

Ah, actually it is pretty cool for her charm offensive. This is like the best opportunities for all her admirers and similar to cluster fuck and worship her isn’t it? Right Right…

Everything being equal, I am a different bird, different ideology from years ago.

I don’t do such a thing anymore. I will give this a miss. I don’t intend to humor anyone tonight, or any other night for that matter.

She can be sweetest, prettiest, most charming etc etc (She is, I think haha) but eventually, it all boils down to one single objective; exclusivity.

Though I could say to a certain conviction that there is no love lost but I digress.

Haha, SUCKER BIRD!

Watch this Space!

漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛

为你我用了半年的积蓄飘洋过海的来看你
为了这次相聚我连见面时的呼吸都曾反复练习

言语从来没能将我的情意表达千万分之一
为了这个遗憾我在夜里想了又想不肯睡去

记忆它总是慢慢的累积在我心中无法抹去
为了你的承诺我在最绝望的时候都忍着不哭泣

陌生的城市啊熟悉的角落里
也曾彼此安慰也曾相拥叹息不管将会面对什么样的结局

在漫天风沙里望着你远去我竟悲伤的不能自已
多盼能送君千里直到山穷水尽一生和你相依