Thursday, May 28, 2009

I LOOKED UP MY FAMILY TREE AND FOUND OUT I WAS THE SAP

28 May 2008
Sunny Thursday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2040 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 换季 by 黄丽玲
Mood: *Go West”

So what did I do these couple of weeks… I don’t really know… Everything just whizz pass, like no brakes, no feelings, nothing spectacular…

I know I’m down with a slight irritating cold. Took care of that by medication but there is so much you can self medicated without overdosing and died in the process… Ermm

Moving on, Snoopy & Woodstock went Science Center yesterday. And oh my goodness, I haven’t seen so many cute little pre-schoolers, still sort-of cute lower primary and of course the not very pleasant lower secondary kids (whom I mistaken for animals… most of the time).

And since we are on the topic of animals, we were once again reminded of Edison when he was in town last month. I mean, for everything that he did, does and might still be doing, his legion of females fans are still mobbing him and wish (sometime aloud) that instead they were the ones caught without their linens… but seriously…

Wisdom does follow some of the PAP saying; like Live & let Live lah… Instead of lashing out at Edison, like what feisty Cecilia Cheung and jittery Gillian Chung are doing, sometime, what they need is really to sit down, shut up and just suck it (think about it, I mean). Cos, at the end of it, who is really to blame?

It's all about "you rub my back and I'll rub yours plus more" when everything's fine and dandy, but where's the love when the milk turns sour? Where is the “I follow you to world ends”, “I Love you deep deep, you love me long long”… ok, so the last one sounds wrong but seriously…

Well, the moral of the story is: one must be flexible lah. Like some news reported today, the Taliban are using sheep to detect mines. They send them into a field and if they're blown up, they have dinner.

If they make it through alive, they have a date. Works perfectly.

Now, that is what I can flexibility. Simply put, if your milk turns sour, feed to Kwek’s cat with it. Okay, perhaps that's a bad idea and besides, he is my buddy. I should be suggesting that you save it for my cantankerous neighbour instead. That would teach him/her a thing a two about housing a whole bunch of foreign trash in his little apartment (I knew I was right when I said you should do unto others as you would have them do to you; but I digress...)

So how now? I go fuck cow… Brb

何必可惜 by 林佳儀

這樣說分手, 你不需要訝異
我忍了好久才下了決定
甜蜜的話語, 已不能再讓我動心
因為我被你傷的太徹底

愛不是可以分享的東西, 不應該當成遊戲
如果不能成為你的唯一, 我選擇放棄, 默默離去

你可以帶走你的心, 我寧願孤獨也不要同情
我告訴我自己, 再痛的淚滴, 都能夠輕易的被撫平

你可以帶走你的心, 那謊言請你說給別人聽
我告訴我自己, 決不再哭泣
既然你不懂珍惜, 我何必可惜

Saturday, May 9, 2009

WHEN THE ENEMIES AT THE GATE, THE KING AND CARDINAL ARE BOSOM FRIENDS

9 May 2008
Sunny Saturday (30 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 0940 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 换季 by 黄丽玲
Mood: *Duckies cute… Expensively Cute”

What an uneventful weeks… not that I care… so what are the latest news?

Headline Number 1: AWARE saga has proven my hypothesis that Give Women some Power, they think they own the World. Don’t even get me started on lady bosses…

Headline Number 2: Tomorrow is OSIM Day (oops, I mean Mother’s Day). You should see how much effort OSIM and its Spokesperson, Jeannette Aw are doing… You SHOULD have seen the OSIM USqeeze Advertisement by Jeannette… Wow, She is like orgasm-ing every minute the machine nip and tuck her weary legs… Damn, I got to have one of those (which I did but for other reason)…

Headline Number 3: Still on Jeannette… Pity she didn’t win any prizes at the Star awards by MediaCOCK. Pity man, it’s a SHAME, it’s a SHAM!!! Just because she refuse to sleep with the Top Bosses!!! You know, someday, someone or something will definitely sue me…

Headline Number 4: Boring story, almost STALE I tell you but well… Mat Selemat is caught. Who the fuck is he? For one, he made the Interior Minister look damn Cock when he say it is an accident (Mat’s escape, not his cock), let’s MOVE ON. Worse still, he made our wonderful boys/men at ISD (Internal Security) look like a Cock (my dictionary a little retard lately). Now that he is caught, I supposed he will be thrashed within an inch of his Cock life, in Malaysia (where he is caught) and in Singapore when he is extradited back. It is only a matter of time he will be condemned to live out his Cock life behind bars like forever. Don’t mess with the XXX…

Headline Number 5: Our babies collections are growing as we speak. Yes! Just last night, I was cowpeh-ing about my financial standing and how we ought to eat at food court and not some fancy restaurant (to save cost)… We bought 2 terribly overpriced baby duckies (call Zippy by the way) without batting an eyelid. It was not cheap, these Damn CUTE soft toys… On hindsight, we should have settled for the baby seal which is like only a fraction of the duckies’ cost. Oh well…

On a damn side note, I now know the importance of personal personal hygiene. I was a little apprehensive, maybe, just maybe a little frustrated by the recent spate of infection. It was itch, it discolored a bit and in the end, I was worrying a litte. But I no anyhow wander, I no anyhow poke poke see see… Cannot be right? Anyway, as of print time, it has gone back to its original color and no more itchiness… Damn, it feels good… Finally.

Reminds me of a good joke… American Jack had good times with Chinese Pros(s) and return to US with a discolored Dick. Almost turning black, he seeks help. Doc looks concerned and said,

“Well, Jack, its Chinese VD (Venereal Disease) and we have to amputate it”…
“Hell no and screw yourself!” Said Jack and he seeks a second opinion with a Chinese Sinseh
“Oh” said Chinese Sinseh, “Its Chinese VD”
“Yaya, you old prick, I know its Chinese VD… My doc says amputation…” Said Jack irritably
“Stupid American doctors, everything also amputate…Don’t worry big ugly Jack, 2 more days, dick fall off by itself”

And Yes, I promise you an entry(s) about democracy… Yes yes, I am still working on it… Bear with me and have faith ok… I got a life that encompass me reading at least 5 pages of The Economics every day and making sure I don’t get sack. Till then, have fun and be safe. Remember, it is not ONLY about you.