BIRD IS SICK, VERY SICK

29 June 2008
Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
HOT Morning @ 0810 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 小情歌 by 苏打绿
Mood: *Bleh*

It all started on Wednesday… I had a sudden bout of muscle and body soreness. It was bad but bearable. Thursday was pretty ok, I even had the urge to go for my weekly run. Lucky did not…

Then came Friday. Morning was ok, I can still joke around at home before I left for work. Reach MRT station and wanted to see the doctor to get some cold medication. But damn crowded, so lan lan, went straight to work. At work, increasingly, I began to feel very sick. I was wondering, how can a common cold be this bad? Took my beloved buggy and went back to the clinic. Waited for 1 hour before I met the doctor.

Sometime during the waiting period, I wonder out (nearly LOUDLY), WHAT can be so difficult to treat a fricking leg pain (one middle age woman) and fever (some low life form). They practically spent 10 min with the doctor! No matter and lan lan, I endure. It only serves to progress my pain. Only after the meet the doctor session that I was diagnosed with Flu, not common cold. No wonder my body aches like nobody business and surprisingly not much of a runny nose or cough.

That is only the beginning of my nightmare. Even though I am fucking sick (at this point… I was in real agony), there is no one to cover my race duties. Damn it! Asked my technical officer to stand in but she gave so many conditions (like cannot stand too long, cannot be out in the open too long, must stay inside aircon room). My clerks were telling her, in a nicer way, to fuck herself. So lan lan…

Endure the pain, the body aching, the fever, and more panadol. But my clerks were very nice, kept telling me to go back to room to rest, they can managed the whole shebang thingy, even though last Friday was about as much of a nightmare as one can visually imagined. Every race got like 14 horses running… and WHY? Cos SM Goh (Yup, Lau Goh) was the VIP for the day and apparently, someone up there wants to impress him, so what can be more appropriate than having him seeing every races full of horses… Their pride, my pain…

While resting and agonizing over my pain, my chief commented, I look terrible. Yup, says Bird, but I’ll survived. Ho Ho Ho, he replied, that, is a matter of opinion… Anyway, took a cab home and rest. Didn’t sleep well too, basically the whole package sunk in and I bore the full blunt of it. Throat damn sore, every joints in body aching, the whole head in pain and high fever. Body tired, but can’t sleep…

Its amazing how I survive the night. Slowly but surely I will survive. Drats…

I just love to complain… Anyway, it is one thing to be near the edge of death and another to have to smile even though bird nearly kicks the bucket… seriously…

To end, a JOKE, A JOKE! Save you cowpeh ALL I ever do is cowpehing… there is some truth in that...

Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.

If you are traveling with two small children, decide NOW which one you love more.

I love my Baby…

SOMEONE SHOULD SUE DISNEY FOR MAKING EVERY GIRL BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE A PRINCE CHARMING

27 June 2008
Thursday (30 Degree Celsius)
HOT Evening @ 2130 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 小情歌 by 苏打绿
Mood: *Argh*

It could be worse… I am officially down with my second cold of the season. But this time, I took cold relief tablets and now hope for the worst. But of course, cold symptom will only becometh worst before it turn for the better. That is the nature of life.

It could be worse… held my 4th monthly department meeting lightly veiled as sharing session. Basically it is one way, MY WAY. Just told them my expectation for the new month and sharing of feedbacks here and there. They are getting warmer and more cohesive than say 3 months back when I held my first meet. I supposed they wanted the department to be better; more efficient and better management, with clear leadership and direction. So now Bird comes along and provides them the Light. And Bird has done all that in a span of 4 months. Told you I am not only Good, I am GREAT. Fucking Great and people still think I am mediocre. Fuck them and fuck the world. Lovely…

Il pourrait malheureux. Je me demande sois plus mauvais… un accès de et un bonbon mais plus de récemment, pourquoi. J'admets, je suis habituellement mais plus mauvais. Pas PMS-ing peu lambinent la merveille qu'elle est à l'amour d'I pour la faire s'est juste produite. Le mauvais I de façon ou d'autre avec elle, je suis la merveille de trempe et d'irritation pourquoi… Elle est particulièrement n'importe quel défaut, j'a supposé au téléphone de la, sa vie pourquoi. Ya, j'ai. I gentil ayant

Il pourrait être plus mauvais… jusqu'à I que vous dans moi n'êtes pas venu pourriez mais vous rencontrer a fait I… pourquoi faisons nous nous sommes produits pourquoi et pour une raison I et qui rencontré. Pourquoi connu mieux doit causer tellement joyeux… Je vous ai,. Je ne avez attendu pourrais pas supposé tout ma vie… qui serait plus futé ? Je pourrais avoir juste.

C'a pu être la plus Wallow tellement grande …. maintenant plaisanterie plus mauvaise aimerait d'AM comment la vie ont la vie et est tombée dedans ? I avec vous mon amour et douleur… De de mon jamais moi agonie dans…

I am not getting this out alive, I tell you and just so you know… I’m fucked. As usual.



小情歌 by 苏打绿

这是一首简单的小情歌, 唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐, 当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌, 唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合, 当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒, 我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到, 写下我度秒如年难爱的离骚
就算整个世界被寂寞绑票, 我也不会奔跑
跑不了, 最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

DUMB ASHLEY.SUSAN.SIMPSONS

20 June 2008
Friday (30 Degree Celsius)
HOT Evening @ 1930 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 达尔文 by蔡健雅
Mood: *Argh*

Still no inspiration, despite so many stuffs in my weekly life.

Monday – Work, OT, SLEEP and before I knew it, its Tuesday
Tuesday – Work, ROT, SLEEP and then becometh Wednesday
Wednesday – Work, Sweat like a pig, return home, shower, birthday dinner with CY and ROT
Thursday – Work, Shack out, Idle, ROT, go Vivocity, ROT and Sleep
Friday – ROT, ROT and ROT somemore

And Damn, I have been through the longest time without a break… Damn Shack, have to work all the way to next Friday with no rest in between. Oh well, that is a fucking nice way to finish my 200th Blog Entry. And I was expecting some fanfare, fireworks and ya, the works. Should have known my luck, it could be worse… much much worse…

The adventure of Tragic Bob Part II

Tired of dying, Bob un-died and returned to the pub where he had died just a week earlier

“It was dumb to set yourself on fire to impress a woman” he thought
“To impress a woman, one must be indifferent and monitor one’s verbosity”

Thus Bob sat quietly on his bar stool and waited

A woman said Hello
Bob grunted and walked off to the jukebox

Two more ladies followed
Bob selected his songs

Eight more women swooned
Bob went to the men’s room

Fourteen women stood outside the door
Bob walked out and went straight to the pool table

Seventy-one women surrounded the table
Bob put down his cue and went back to his bar stool

Bob silently survey four hundred beautiful women now available to him for the first time in his 30 lonely years

… And felt an acute shortage of breath
…For the surging throngs of beauties had crushed him against the bar

…Bob snapped like a toothpick and died

Sometime I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at my predication… In any case, something is not quite right for bird. Apparently, either he has been over worked (highly unlikely) or he is getting old. I get tired so easily and everything I do seems to make it worst.

Told you liao, shouldn’t have gone jogging. Why waste the efforts when we could all just fucking shut the fuck up and sleep… See, told you I am in control… Now you fucking believe me? Whatever

WHEN DOES A 80k BILL & ME HAVE IN COMMON? WHEN IT IS AN EITHER-OR SITUATION

15 June 2008
Sunday (34 Degree Celsius)
HOT Evening @ 1730 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 达尔文 by 蔡健雅
Mood: *Look, Listen Bitch*

No inspiration, no time (too busy rotting) and no drive (expended all my sex in one sitting…)

Bear with me

The Adventure of Tragic Bob Part I

Bob went to a pub and met a girl

“Hello” he said “This place is a pretty good pub”

… “Why did the monkey drop off the tree?” he said
“He was dead...”

Desperate and lonely, Bob set fire to his hair

The girl looked at Bob. “That’s a nice trick” she said

“That’s not a trick, I’m really burning”
“Fine, what you lack in charm and good looks, you made it up for effort. I’ll date you next Tuesday”

“I can’t wait that long” Bob said
“Why not?” she said
“Because I’m on fire” Bob said
“Fine” She said “But you can at least let me finish my beer, it’s a good cold beer”

“Of course” Bob said

So the girl took a sip of beer, listened to the juke box and hummed along
… And took a cellphone, call and put on some makeup
…And had another sip of beer and told the bartender that her cousin was in a band
…And cross her leg and uncross her leg and took a cigarette from her purse

“I don’t supposed you have a light?” she said, turning to Bob

Now fully ablaze, Bob sat quietly, thinking of the little league baseball and summers by the lake

The girl look down at her beer, looked over at Bob and looked down at her beer and lit her cigarette

On Bob’s nose

Vaguely aware that his unlimited patience with women had somehow cost him dear, Bob died and was brushed down from his seat by the back of a hand of a man who was big, dumb and trite and handsome.

“Come here often?” asked the girl

Sometime I marvel, often aloud but in non-coherent kind of way, that why of all greatness, majestically or otherwise, would Bird be a bird?

And people wonder why they love me… nevertheless, I love you too. Now have to shut the fuck up and get back to rotting. Does wonders to your heart I tell you…

Fucking wonderful.

I HAVEN’T HAD MY TEA YET, SO DON’T MAKE ME KILL YOU

12 June 2008
Thursday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2130 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 达尔文 by 蔡健雅
Mood: *Listen Bitch*

It was a slightly longer week. Figuratively speaking…

In any case, work still ok, life still ok, despite the occasional PMS-ing attitude. What else happened? Oh a SYT also sign up for a golf clinic as me. But I decided to drop the idea (the Golf thingy) since it starts like next Monday. Cow, what a waste… No see SYT liao…

I was pretty much PMS-ing the entire week. Don’t blame bird, it’s the Hormones I tell you… Anyway, it has somehow subsided and now, I am slowly but surely regaining my sunshine. And what’s next?

Heard my dad cow-pehing that NO WONDER the series “LOST” is call lost… He watch already also lost (by the plot). Surprisingly, after all the complain, he still catch LOST and Prison Break like every week. I figure he is trying to figure out LOST… eventually I hope…

Oh yes, I nearly blasted my canteen vendor when he served me lunch… He practically shoved all the stuffs on top of my rice. If you know me, I abso-fucking-lutely hate to have my rice tainted by anything and everything. Predictably, I was visibly upset, no, UPSET is an understatement. I was fuming mad. I nearly blurt out the “thank you for spoiling my lunch”… but decided otherwise. He was still fucking chirpy about it and Damn it, if its not for the SYT beside me, I would have given him a good one…

Fucking cheebye… The more I say the more blood I am losing… Here’s a reminder,

NEVER EVER

1. Step on my tail
2. Spoil my lunch
3. Disrupt my plans

I am serious about killing you for those crimes above.

Anyway, quote of the week goes like this

Why is Air so much like SEX?
Because it is not a big deal, really… Until you are not getting any… then you are screwed.



达尔文 by 蔡健雅

我的青春也不是没伤痕, 是明白爱是信仰的延伸
甚么特征人缘还是眼神,也不会预知爱不爱的可能

保持单身, 忍不住又沉沦, 兜着圈子来去有时苦等
人的一生, 感情是旋转门, 转到了最后真心的就不分

有过竞争, 有过牺牲, 被爱筛选过程
学会认真, 学会忠诚, 适者才能生存
懂得永恒, 得要我们, 进化成更好的人

我的青春, 有时还蛮单纯, 相信幸福取决于爱得深
读进化论, 我赞成达尔文, 没实力的就有淘汰的可能

我的替身已换过多少轮, 记忆在旧情人心中变冷
我的一生有几道旋转门, 转到了最后只剩你我没分

SPAY & NEUTER ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS

7 June 2008
Saturday (28 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Morning @ 1100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 新不了情 by曹格
Mood: *Still Water runs shallow for Bird*

As usual, I am like space beyond common understanding. Which brings me to a point on the recent sacking by the boss of US Millitary. Robert Gates has explicitly sack his Secretary of Air force and Chief of Staff, Air Service. A little on their naming convention and protocol. You see, US Military consist of a Civilian and a Career military chief, hence the “Secretary of something” headed by a civilian and their respective Chief of Staff (Army & Air force), Commandant (Marines & Coast Guard) and Head of Naval Operations (yes, Navy). The naming convention aside, it put in place a symbolic recognition, check & balance system of both civilian and military advices needed to run the Army.

Moving on, Gates apparently decided that after the nuclear fiasco; some nuclear trigger devices wrongly (or rightly) shipped to Taiwan, someone up in the food chain need(s) to be hanged. So conveniently (or Rightly again), he axed the top most bosses of Air force, citing administrative and leadership responsibility for the lapse.

Ah, that brings me to my next point, how about Mat Selamat then?

His name alone can cause National Security Alert, much less a mere nuclear trigger button (give and take your point of view) and yet, no command responsibility was/were cited in the supposedly independent finding. Back to US Air force, the finding was done by their own in-house auditors and they actually have the balls to fault their bosses for inadequate oversight (not amounting to gross negligence though) and yet, each of the chiefs (under duress maybe) took it upon themselves to make sure they are held accountable and hence the boot.

Sadly, this is not the case here. The home secretary is still enjoying his bountiful bonuses while his lower managers are kena tekan for the loss of the criminal. Somemore Mat-oh-boy is no off the cuff criminal, he is the head of a terrorist organization that bend on fucking us left right center for fuck sake. What fucking pissed me off is no top bosses even step in to take command responsibility; such is the state of our leadership. And people wonder why US Military, despite all the wrongs are Right and Just. They have LEADERS with MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES, you can call it Balls for simplicity.

No one came forward never mind, still pin the blame on lower managers. Ok, so Director ISD shouldn’t be blame. Logically speaking, yes that’s true. How can you fuck the syces when his stallions went around siring other mares. Legally, when it comes to accountability, it is the Owner that should be sued for his horses’ fucking around. See the plain oh-so-in-your-face logic?

Bad political move my dear readers. Little wonder too, and I’ll bet my LV Porte Document Voyage bag that WKS would be left out or made to retire in FULL honour in the next GE. He is already a liability for crying out loud, notwithstanding his insincere apologies; from reading out LOUD scripted speech to walking around looking important. If he still remains status quo next election, we are truly fucked.

PM Lee also one kind, as a top Leader in the food chain, surely he must have known the ground sentiment and yet, he decided not to fuck his deputy and took it out on his underlying. Surely, it is within his power and rights to kindly offer words of advise (like Gates to his deputies) to pack up and go. Sadly, this moral leadership is not found anywhere in this region, and we still say we are a democratic society. Well, ok lah, most of the countries here are also so call democratic ones… Just a matter of re-interpretation, justification, re-re-interpretation and of course the whole shebang thingy that’s all… Ah, so blameless already…

Surely in his entire afterthought, PM Lee should have just made a formal statement and while not faulting anyone, accept WKS resignation (yes, that means he actually offer to resign in the first place). It gave credibility to the other side of democracies which isn’t exactly kind towards us and still remains popular. It is not simply WKS should not be held responsible but Dude, this is politics, you cannot blatantly side with your underlying, just because… And besides, people want top bosses to be hanged for the wrongs, even if they are innocent. Because? Because they are the Leader!

Why you think people guillotine Louis XVI? For his leadership and his supposedly brought upon the suffering for the masses… Imagine the masses executing the “descendent of the SUN God”…

Now it is too late to talk about anything. The report is out, blaming everyone but the top bosses. Even when the world was skeptical about the independence of its composition, we have to proof them right by endorsing the “oh-you-are-so-fuck-LITTLE-MEN” report (in Catherine Lim’s words). Moreover, WKS never once hinted he wanted or ought to take the blame, coupled with his award winning performance on reading the script and keeping a poker face throughout the fiasco.

Now you know why we are like apathy towards anything remotely political. And people like the Chee’s and his jinx gang are not helping. My oh my, I might have evidently talk a little bit more cock than allowed. So I shall rest my case here. Cos no matter how much and how deeply you feel about doing out the best for betterment of the society, the government will come in and smack your palm. So serious, how now brown cow?

Today got beer, today drunk… easier on and for the heart.

As per norm, here’s my YouTube post on 新不了情 by 曹格.

Man, this chap is good…

新不了情 by 曹格 (KARAOKE 原版伴奏）

新不了情 by 曹格 (Original Version)



心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝

这一份情永远难了
愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何死守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道

回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

I HEART YOU

4 June 2008
Wednesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 伤心地铁 by李宗盛
Mood: *Still Water runs Deep*

Nothing much to update lately… work has been hard these couple of days but still bearable. You can’t be idling everyday of your life right? Right… Anyway had a new intern. She is ok I supposed, a little on the pleasantly plump side though. But its ok…

Today, yours truly had the pleasure of witnessing my first equine vaginal endometrium. Boy it was a sight to behold. We had KY (yes, THAT KY) and a hollow out 45cm, 5cm Dia. paper tube for the insertion. You should have seen the way the Vet spreading the KY on the surface (to ease entry) and slowly accessing (no pun) the horse, all for the sake of a swab requirement. I know, some of you bugs would be tempted to cowpeh about how awful it is to have a tube inserted into the horse’s vaginal. But apparently, if you have seen a horse’s erected penis, this hollow probe is merely a tickle. And Yes, that means its fucking huge. Imagine for a moment its ball (singular) is bigger than my closed fist (by a huge margin), that should give you an idea of how big and long its penis & balls is/are.

Oh yes, did I mention spray and neuter are the horses’ best friends? Yes, most either don’t live long enough to sire their next generation or have had their little boyhood neutered at an early age. Imagine again, all your life, no sex, EVER. Now that’s painful…

Damn it… I really got nothing much to write these days… HOW man? Looks like I need to post a joke to prolong this agony… so here goes

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey the same ugly bitch." The lady was so incensed that she went into the store and said that she will sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

When the lady walked past the store that night the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?"

The bird said, "You know…"

Even my jokes are lame… So help us…



伤心地铁 by 李宗盛

抛开那盟约和你四目相接
想必你的眼里应该隐瞒著更多的细节

他想必狂野让你对我坚心拒绝
他会陪你过今夜他也许就在这列车的某一节

凭一种啊男人的直觉去承受这份残缺
当缘起和缘灭我们的过去已不能重写
我失去了全部的世界在这伤心的地铁
这么伤心欲绝当列车停止在第五街

冬天的纽约冷的这样直接
像是你的拒绝它千真万确让人心淌血

他令你狂野你们爱得轰轰烈烈
他在等你过今夜我知道他在这列车的某一节

那一夜那心里深深的雪
那男人的直觉那伤心的地铁