IF ONLY YOU KNEW

30 March 2008
Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)
Overcast Afternoon @ 1500 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 亲爱的, 那不是爱情 by 张韶涵
Mood: *Cow & Horsie weekend*

Today was pretty sunny in the morning till early afternoon, before turning overcast. Typical of the daily weather pattern I supposed. Every mid day sure turn cloudy and might even rain in the later evening. I miss Singapore then, I miss US now… How I am missing the Cheery Blossom now…

Last night brought family to the Night Safari. It was not bad actually; I think everyone enjoyed it, which is a good thing. Particularly my mom, she seems so fascinated with the close proximity of the supposedly free ranging animals. Amazingly how these animals can come so close to us, grazing the grass, without giving a hoot to our passing tram. Imagine one of the carnivorous dude decides to jump over the vegetation and into the tram. I know, it has not happened (yet), but why should I be the first?

Mom is such a merry maker. She just nag about me leaving the kitchen window open big big. Why? Cos it allows the stupid bird to come into kitchen see see look look whether got food or not. And if this persists, they might even return with their friends. Yup, there is one particular mynah that loves to test water, keep flying into the kitchen at specific time to see see around. Lucky I left my .44 magnum Colt Anaconda in the safe, if not, would have blown him to smithereens. Figuratively speaking of course.

Oh yes, stayed at home whole of Saturday just to wait for my mobilization and guess what? It never materialized. Which is a good thing; no call sign = no recall. It was getting better when I discovered my apparently lack of preparation; like NO BOOTS GARTERS for example. For that 15 min when I found this lapse till my make shift temporary solution, I was in total “shitted” mode. What if kena recall and without garter? I rather suck thumb at home than going out. Lucky I found some rubber bands and if really suay suay got activated for mobilization, that bunch of rubber would have to do.

It was a long week man… did another race duty on Friday and it cheebyely rain like nobody business so in the end, the race started 15 min later. That starts off a whole chain of events that accumulated ending my duty at 12.15am. Nabei, while walking towards the taxi stand and smoking my last stick for the day, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. It was tough; mentally… Oh well, that’s life…

On that note, I came to 2 conclusions within a span of 1 hour this morning. Firstly if I knew my cigarette smoked last Friday night was to be my last, I would have really dragged it like it is my last. But alas, it was not meant to be I guess. In any case, I have decided to give up smoking. The very reason for its existence is no longer valid and hence, I decided to let it go. For posterity sake… whatever that entails. Seriously… It is time I gave up smoking… For myself

Further up the chain, I too, realized that everything that happened, it should at least come with some explanation package. But to what purpose? Sometime, things are better left unsaid. Life is so much easier that way.

是你 , 一眼我就认出来
你是命运最美丽的安排
今天你还好吗?

为什么不说话?

我一直在等着你回答 , 一直在等

NOW THAT WE HAVE GOTTEN THE OBVIOUS OUT OF THE WAY… I LOVE YOU

27 March 2008
Thursday (29 Degree Celsius)
Raining Night @ 2230 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 亲爱的, 那不是爱情 by 张韶涵
Mood: *Cow & Horsie, Cow & Horsie*

Sometime, I have to admire my brain. It is such a wonderful organ, really. It starts working from the moment I get up in the morning and does not stop until I reach the office.

Well, another day to go, I can finally get it all over and done for the week. Not as if my weekend has anything to look forward to… But that’s another story..

Had a 3-hour off in lieu this afternoon. It was a mistake on my admin clerk calculation lah, and she quickly informed me. Maybe not quick enough, cos it is like 10am then she told me. Well, at least she tells me, instead of keeping it a secret like forever…

Oh last night was pretty depressed. It has to do with my finance… I literally down to a few dollars and cents after paying all the necessary bills. And I thought I would have better control of my piggy bank. Alas, I was wrong, so fucking wrong… What to do, that’s life. Now my only hope is that nothing BIG crop up for the month of April (end of month then payday), if not, really have to bend over. Therein lies another problem, don’t know bend over got money or not… haha. But I will survive. Even if I had to eat grass, I will survive. You can fucking count on that!

Trying to recover all my bad debts and all these fuckers can do is telling me they are at their dead end. Cheebye, they at dead end while I am swimming freely lah. Nabei cheebye… All pretend not to pay for like some 4 months for one and 1 year for the other? How can forget one… Fuck man, looks like all must go the subprime way. I just felt like a sucker. And I abso-fucking-lutely hate to be a sucker. Though sometime I am but yes, another long story.

The main thing is; I am still alive and breathing. That is some comfort to my poor old soul. Damn it…

Sometime I just wish she would actually think about me, or better yet, missed me. But no lah, I am but a lame bird, I can’t wish for such things. Besides, in any case, I think I am like fucked. Oh well, time to move on but to who and whom? So dude, as you can see, I am fucked… Love, Finance and health. Hope my career still going strong; moving from good to great.

Just shut the fuck up… seriously

Oh yes, this is one of the few bubble pop songs that I think quite nicely written… meaning to say, I actually enjoy the song. So do you too, understand?



亲爱的, 那不是爱情 by 张韶涵

教室里那台风琴叮咚叮咚叮咛, 像你告白的声音动作一直很轻
微笑看你送完信转身离开的背影, 喜欢你字迹清秀的关心

那温热的牛奶瓶在我手中握紧, 有你在的地方我总感觉很窝心
日子像旋转木马在脑海里转不停, 出现那些你对我好的场景

你说过牵了手就算约定, 但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像来不及许愿的流星, 再怎么美丽也只能是曾经

太美的承诺因为太年轻, 但亲爱的那并不是爱情
就像是精灵住错了森林, 那爱情错的很透明

FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU, FOOL ME TWICE, SHAME ON ME

24 March 2008
Monday (26 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2200 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰
Mood: *Cow & Horsie*

Surprisingly, it didn’t really stink that bad today. I mean the air was pretty ok, considering it was still lingering around, refusing to dissipate before the morning sun. Oh well. Had a slow start to the week but by lunch time (still skipping it for work), I was at full throttle. Well, then shit happened. HOD refused to sign blank cheque for annual asset verification exercise. Haha, actually it was my superior who fucked it up, clearly. So lan lan, I have to be the bad bird and screw up my co workers for being fucked up… sort of… I can’t be fucking my boss right?

Oh, I was at SPOP concert last night, thanks to Mr Tan for his last minute ticket. It was ok lah, no wait, ok is an understatement; it was boring. And guess what come after boring? I spent S$40 bucks on cab fare. Yup, it was my fault really… Guess I was too lazy to take the metro. Anyway, S$40 bucks is a lot of money man… Plus the concert was not exactly exciting and lagi worst, no pretty girl around sight; I left at 9.30pm. But it was a nice gesture for the free tickets. The only saving grace? I saw Wendy on my BIG BIG LCD TV when I reach home. Gosh, was she beautiful… Hee

Well, hope she is doing fine…

Moving on, met my pretty chemical analyst at the MRT station today. Well, we exchanged pleasantries and small talk a bit. While I was mesmerized by her lovely dimpled smile, she has to so un-glam-ly run to squeeze herself into the train’s closing doors. Lucky the door closed before she can reach it. Imagine the humiliation if she ever got trap between the doors and all eyes will be on me to save her (by proximity virtue). Hmm, that brings another set of dilemma; should I? well… Errm, she is cute (despite being like my age), she’s sweet and best part? She’s got dimpled smile… Err, my point is? Alrighty, I will save her… and it is all because she is my friend! And Nothing else ok… right…

Speaking of beautiful, I just killed a house fly in my office. Yup, those pesky little bugger, keep flying around. I told all the aunties NOT to eat in office liao. See lah, attract all sort of bugs into the office. I have to waste a club magazine for the kill but it’s worth every page of it. Seeing the fly kena squash before my eyes… Muahaha

Since we are at it, I saw the last look of a dying horse during my smoke today. The vet assistant was nudging one injured horse into the mortuary. Somehow, it knew of its impending doom and adamantly refused to move into the mortuary. Somehow also, it relented after being prodded further. I found myself saying a little prayer for the poor chap. Yup, as hard hearted and secular as I am, I am also human. It does get kind of depressing and sad seeing a grand old chap being put down. Basically I was telling him (yup, it’s a him, pretty much obvious the way his genital is hanging…) that it is for his own good. No more suffering, no more kena whacked by jockey and say cheebye to all the yucky man-made food ever. He can have all the females he can ever sire and go grazing all day long… well, it’s a lie of course, but we will never know better, would we?

Ah such depressing entry, well, to jump start a better tomorrow…

A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it. The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell.

He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"

The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"

For whatever that happened, it is for a reason. Nothing too fanciful, nothing too stressful. And one thing for sure, it is always for the better. If that is so, then why am I losing faith as the day goes? Why does my heart sunken as the clock ticked by? If only I knew… Where are you my beloved…

MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, WE WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER… HOR?

23 March 2008
Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1410 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 梁山伯与茱丽叶 by卓文萱 & 曹格
Mood: *Cow & Horsie looking at sky*

Oh great, you know what I dread about going to work on Monday? Minus the Monday Blues, it has to be the smell. After 3 days of good old break from the horse crap, tomorrow will be another get-used-to-it smell day. Drats, it was particularly bad last Thursday morning. Apparently the night before and the morning itself, there are a lot of lightning and thunder and it seems to have an effect on their crap… Fuck man, all diarrhoea along the roads and it stink like nobody business. Lan lan…

Last evening was one of those classic days. It started quite well in the morning, met up with Nyo & Elvan for breakfast, karaoke session and later lunch. Then ZL sms came and we decided to meet up for makan at 5pm later. Since I have nothing but time to burn before the makan, we went roaming around, to Great world city and Novena. Then Shit happened. The Novena place we were at is nowhere near to shopping center or MRT station. And guess what, it was raining Cats & Dogs. I was drench pants down and fucking miserable. Called a cab and it cost me S$11 bucks just to get to Cityhall… Cheebye, should have just stay over at Great world…

As usual, she is a lady of few words; like Wow… Oh yes, saw this movie, Horton. It is the least to say, a wonderful show. One of the few I actually enjoyed watching.

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day; 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"



梁山伯与茱丽叶 by 卓文萱 & 曹格

曹： 我的心想唱首歌給妳聽, 歌詞是如此的甜蜜, 可是我害羞, 我沒有勇氣, 等妳說一句我愛你

卓： 為什麼你還是不言不語, 難道你不懂我的心, 不管你用什麼方式表明, 我會對你說我願意

曹： 千言萬語裏, 只有一句話能表白我的心
卓： 千言萬語裏, 只要一句話就
合： 能夠讓我們相偎相依

曹： 我愛妳, 妳是我的茱麗葉(卓:茱麗葉) , 我願意變成妳的梁山伯
合： 幸福的每一天, 浪漫的每一夜
卓： 把愛不放開
曹： 因為 I Love you
卓： 我愛你, 你是我的羅密歐(曹:羅密歐) , 我願意變成你的祝英台
合： 幸福的每一天, 浪漫的每一夜, 美麗的愛情祝福著, 未來

OH FUCK! WHO ARE THESE KIDS AND WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME DADDY??

21 March 2008
Friday (27 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2030 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰
Mood: *Cow & Horsie looking at Girls*

Same old week aye? Doing stuffs, earning my share of bacon and bread (damn hard to earn you know) and finally had a good drink with Giggs. But still, bird has rather shitty luck lately and ended up with a deep cut to my palm, all thanks to his orgasmic reaction to my “Yo dude, see what?”…

Yup, there he was, sitting comfortably and looking out into the night sky at the 72nd storey high City Space and I had to interrupt his thoughts and cause him to rock the table, thereby breaking a couple of glasses. So it was my fault lah? Cheebye… like real my fault… Nice start to Easter Weekend…

I got damn cut just because I tried to save the wine glasses and ended up holding onto the broken stem of one. Damn, it was a nasty cut… It was bleeding quite profusely, the way the cut is directed but its ok. Shit always happened, just accept it as part and parcel of life, easier for the heart.

Beside that episode, I also fuck my kelingkia colleague jialat jialat. I cannot stand ineptness and lazy workers. You can fucked up your life and work for all I care but if your performance (or lack of it) affects my results, then you gona die, cock standing. I thought I made it crystal clear to all my co-workers? Hmm, sometime, you need to give them a little nudge here and there. But I am still a nice bird, unless people decide to step on my tail…

I always wanted to dedicate this song to my beloved but alas, since for like eternity, we have yet to get acquainted. Well… even if you are the one, we guess you never will know. It is for the better I supposed. Are we even in an exclusive relationship? Don’t think so but well, we never will know, do we? So here’s to my future love then.



You are always so beautiful, to me.

很想说 by 李圣杰

在我眼里你永远最美, 连你一个微笑也都会让我醉
你所谓的幸福我想给, 以为手不放开就是痴心绝对
太愚昧

难道笑容没了距离有了快乐也走了
还是真心死了彼此不信任了
终於懂了真的

很想说有你是幸福的
很想说我的心是你的
很想说你真的误解了
很想说你真的忘记了

My love~

很想说会好好疼你的
很想说爱你是自由的
很想说你是否听见了
很想说你真的忘记了

爱了就有坚持理由
别说我会留在路口
不会走
爱你会直到最后

微笑中留下的眼泪, 一定很美

17 March 2008
Monday (29 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 1930 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 走在红毯那一天 by 彭佳慧
Mood: *Cow & Horsie… Period*

It seems lately my health took a dive south… Could it be the prophecy coming true? Well, maybe not exactly prophecy; overheard from some Chinese lunar (supposedly divine) forecast of this year health, fortune and sex (ok, maybe not sex)… Could it be true then? Though I am a secularist, it never state in that long theory that I cannot believe in some forecast? Haha…

To end this short entry even shorter, here is one joke that I think means a lot to older men with china wife/GF. Yup, remember, it is never just about you… Go Figure

An 80 year old man is having his annual checkup at his doctor's office. He says to the doctor, "I've never felt better in my whole life. In fact, I have a 20 year old bride who's pregnant and having my child. What do you think of that !!!"

The doctor thinks for a second and then says, "Let me tell you a story. I know this guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a hunting season. But one day he's in a hurry to go hunting and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his rifle. So he's in the woods and suddenly a giant grizzly bear appears out of nowhere. He raises his umbrella, points at the bear, squeezes the handle and the bear drops dead in front of him. What do you think of that?"

The old man says, "That's impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear!"

"EXACTLY" says the doctor.



走在红毯那一天 by 彭佳慧

算一算时间, 认识他也好几年
看一看身边, 好朋友都有好姻缘
只剩下我, 只剩下你
还继续 , 苦守寒窯, 一等十八年

有些事, 急也没有用, 我了解
我不想, 人老珠黄, 才被人送作堆

走在红毯那一天, 矇上白纱的脸
微笑中留下的眼泪, 一定很美

走在红毯那一天, 带上幸福的戒
有个人廝守到永远, 是一生所愿

数著时间的日子, 一点也不好过
到哪天, 他的良心才会发现
女人啊, 要找个真诚的男人
哪有那么难, 真有那么难

STEAK AND BLOWJOB DAY!

15 March 2008
Saturday (24 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2130 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 走在红毯那一天 by 彭佳慧
Mood: *Cow & Horsie are best friends*

Oh yes, according to the Urban Dictionary, March 14 was Steak and Blowjob (BJ) day. Ah, apparently it was invented by some Tom Birdsey (no relation to bird). It seems that it also recommend that he be elevated to a sort of a saint among men who so kind as to dedicate a day entirely for massive chunks of meat and having one member gobbled like candy bar (or better yet… use your imagination).

Seriously though, Steak and BJ Day was invented as a response to Valentine's Day, a day in which men get the 'privilege' of showing their affection for their significant other by spending ludicrous amounts of time, money, and effort in showering them in gifts, dinners, shows, and various other things to show them just how special they are to us… Right…

Isn't it about time that there was a day just like that, but devoted to having the ladies show men just how much they appreciate us? Thanks to Steak and BJ Day, this dream has finally come true. And look how easy it is! Since we really only wanted like two things in life, the formula for showing us that appreciation is really very simple.

First: FOOD! Not any of that new-age healthy market crap, either. Just give us a big hunk of cow. Preferably still bleeding. The napkin will be so unnecessary, that’s what the back of our hands are for.

I think the second part does not require any further explanation…

Best thing is: It's a win-win situation!

Just think, ladies, of just how hard your man will try to please you on February 14th just at the *thought* of the rewards he will be receiving on his special day. There's no way to lose, unless you have difficulty suppressing your gag reflex.

March 14th is, in short: BEST. HOLIDAY. EVER!

And to show my appreciation for the very special day, I had a good drink, instead. Oh did I mention it is also St Patrick day too? Ah yes, another good reason for hangover. Oh well, that’s life.

Ah yes, CY suggests going slow on the drink, not lest my liver is not at its optimum performance. That’s sweet of her.

How’s things at work? Same old same old, nothing too stressful, nothing too anything…

For some reasons also, this joke sum up my week

A first grade class comes in from recess. Ms. Goldstein the teacher asks Sarah, "What did you do at recess?" Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a freshly baked cookie." She does and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess. Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

Ms. Goldstein says, "Good. If you write 'box" correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a freshly baked cookie." Morris does and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Abdul bin Mahmoud what he did at recess. He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."

Ms. Goldstein says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant inter-racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant inter-racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

有了我你应该什么都不缺, 心再野也知道该拒绝, 有什么心结难解竟然让你离不开这一切

12 March 2008
Wednesday (24 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2130 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 诱惑的街by梁静茹
Mood: *Cow & Horsie are sad *

这样深的夜下过雨的街, 连星光就要熄灭你赴的是什么样的约?

Guess it’s the weather, for a couple of days (as far as the rain goes), I haven’t really see much of the sun. It can get really depressing seeing raindrops after raindrops, splashing on me when I get out. But then, that is just me…

原无意说这些, 只是对你还有感觉, 以为一切残缺, 都能用爱解决

I am depressed… for all sorts of reasons… Love MIA, work long hours, penniless, loveless, lonely etc etc. But then, how we could define our happiness if there are no sorrow on earth? Ah I guess for most part, it is the product of my actions, the sweet revelation of truth… but to what end, to what end…

可是我除了爱你, 没有别的凭借, 话由真心, 才说的如此直接, 也许是夜色让人不知胆怯

Every day, I smoke at the rear of my office. I see birds flying high & low, gently through the sky, clouds clamoring for the wind, beckoning it to stop, just stop for once in their life. I see the grasses parodying the tragic tale of Romeo & Juliet; swaying, he loves me, he loves me not, while I lay blessed in the breath of the winds upon my face and the warmth of the sun upon my cheek. I bear witness to all these in a span of a lighted cigarette.

有了我你是否什么都不缺, 心再野也知道该拒绝, 有什么心结难解, 竟让你离不开这一切

Am I happy? How could I not be? Why then does my heart sank so deeply…

只是你生在诱惑的街, 只是你生在沉伦的午夜, 血里的狂野对真实与幻觉, 已无分别

I dreamt of you night after night; I felt your touch, your warmth fingers with mine, I kissed your hair and the sweet scent of your freshly launder hair. If only it is real…

I missed you today… Did you miss me too? Would we ever meet?

诱惑的街 by 梁静茹

这样深的夜下过雨的街,

连星光就要熄灭你赴的是什么样的约

原无意说这些, 只是对你还有感觉,

以为一切残缺, 都能用爱解决

可是我除了爱你, 没有别的凭借,

话由真心, 才说的如此直接
也许是夜色让人不知胆怯

有了我你是否什么都不缺, 心再野也知道该拒绝
有什么心结难解, 竟让你离不开这一切

只是你生在诱惑的街, 只是你生在沉伦的午夜
血里的狂野对真实与幻觉, 已无分别

所以你也无从察觉, 情由何时冷却
你从来不了解, 心痛有多么强烈
不知若要我为爱妥协, 我宁愿它幻灭

她没有错, 只是没有陪我到最后

11 March 2008
Tuesday (27 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2130 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 他没有错 by 范玮琪
Mood: *Cow & Horsie are lonely again *

I lonely again

Drats...

他没有错 by 范玮琪

就这样放了彼此的手, 究竟是尽头还是个出口
只是我还记得, 她每一次抚摸
只是我还熟悉, 她每一个轮廓

不知道从此要难过多久, 我相信一定和孤独一样久
原来天长地久 是形容一种痛 这样的有始有终
换来怎样的海阔天空

她没有错, 只是没有爱我很久
她没有错, 是我飞蛾扑火
我求一个经过不妄想一个结果,

她没有错

她没有错, 只是没有为我停留
她没有错, 是爱的不是时候
她没有错, 只是没有陪我到最后

OH DAMN… THE BAG BROKE…

9 March 2008
Sunday (27 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 1730 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我怀念的 by孙燕姿
Mood: *Cow & Horsie…Gone with the Wind*

Suay man, I just received my reservist letter for a technical mobilization end of the month. And just about 1 week ago, I have been informed of my new reservist unit. I was hoping that SAF Manpower chaps might have inevitably left me out (for whatever reasons) cos every year of being out in the open is a bonus year for me. By Law, I am only obliged to serve in reserve unit till 40 years of age. It is not some rocket science trying to figure out between serving in reserved Unit from the age of 23 (after compulsory conscription) to 40 with only 10 cycles of training (taken once a year and you could technically be out of it by 33… Technically). So now, Bird starting it off quite late, I have to fulfill my national service obligation till like 40… and that is like every year call up. Oh well, the irony of life.

Have been scrambling to get hold of my army gears and uniform ready. After a frantic search for my uniform, it was only during shower time a while ago that I suddenly remembered where I might have left it… Damn! Luckily, I can still manage to squeeze into the uniform (which is like 10 years ago sizes). Yes, Bird do progress (waistline) during these years; I blame it on the government (haha).

Ah, why the government? As you can see from the forum, blog and letters to the press, anything and everything is always the product of the government policy; explicitly or otherwise… The Government’s silence, half-hearted response (and apologies) and whitewashing of issues are not helping much. Should have seen the Oscar wining apology for the latest prison break saga from the Home Minister (who happened to be the party whip, who also happens to be the deputy PM)… Not to mention he is the boss of our much famed ISD boys. Cow, with that kind of credential, even the mountain shift its fat ass plate tectonics, no one would even dare suggest or have the faintest idea to tell him to step aside.

Somehow also, I pitied some of the poor taxi drivers, or for that matter, a lot of coffee shop talkers. Most are just wasting their time away and yet adamantly refuse to admit it (as in the case of my late night cab uncle) and still insist it is good for the brain; thinking about nonsensical stuffs and feeling good about it. I was so inclined to tell him to fug himself but alas… why bother… My stand is always clear, if you not cheebyeish smart and useful in my life, I don’t even give a hoot to you and your ideology. You can go ahead and kid yourself away for all life’s care. Yup, in short, go and fug yourself.

Of course, that does not apply to my fellow drink, karaoke etc buddies. Like I also said, if I chose to ignore you, then that “fug-yourself” chap might just be you. Hey, not your fault though, if any, like I ALWAYS ASSERTED, blames it on your inherent property.

On another note, I read with interest on Sumiko Tan’s latest entry on eating alone. Yup, I wrote similar entry some time back and our sentiment are exact. We HATE TO BE SEEN like a Fucking sad LOSER!! I would rather cook instant noodles at home than eating alone in the food center! Argh, you can argue about the mindset thingy till the cow come home when effectively, no one gona hear you out. So I say, let’s just eat, drink, smoke, be merry and fucking die… DIE YOU CHEEBYE!! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST FUCKING GO FUCK YOURSELF!!! Arggggggghhhhhhhhhh

Oh pardon me, some outburst is really good for health… like Jokes for instance…

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"

"Oh come on God, give me a break!!," the man pleaded. "One minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"

TRY SAYING PERHAPS YOU SHOULD CHECK WITH… INSTEAD OF TELL SOMEONE WHO GIVES A SHIT

8 March 2008
Saturday (29 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 1100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我怀念的 by孙燕姿
Mood: *Cow & Horsie…Go to Whitecastle*

It would have seemed that lately, I am besieged by ill health. Yup, the reasons are a little vague now but I am guessing it all started with that damming sore throat last Wednesday. And the aftermath of it is/was dragging till now. I was coughing everywhere; at home, sleep time, working, and during par-toking. Yes, damn right! Of all things! The best part? I refused to see a doctor… How Nice…

Work work work; the only good thing? There is not really a sense of pressure in my workplace but I strive to finish up everything assigned to me within days (not Weeks). Haha that will instill some form of urgency among my fellow colleagues. As I was telling my date; I am usually in office by 7 to 7.30, work till 1030 plus, had breakfast/lunch together and work through lunch hour, going home at 5.30 to 6pm. Woah, that would make me like working for a good 11hours, damn hardworking? It is less distractive when you work through lunch and I ate/eat for survival only, why bother about the rest? Besides, I want to go home on time, why work till some unearthly hours? Just for what? Shiok?

And yes, was telling this to someone and she said working 11 hours is nothing. Woah, I guess we have different idea on what constitute hardworking haha. She work because all her bosses are in, while I work hard cos I want to go home by 6pm. Why stay back so late? As if people will appreciate you for overtime. Don’t be a cock lah, no one cares whether you die or decomposing while working your guts out. I personally wouldn’t, as I pointed this out to my lazy bum colleague through email; I am fine with any arrangement, as long as the assigned task is done within the stipulated time. Gave him 3 weeks, with dead line ending next Friday and still no action. I am not going to take this lying down. NEVER EVER contravene my direct request (not Order hor). If you have problem, tell me immediately, not like 3 weeks later. I assured you, he will Die cock standing… Muahahah

Back to that someone, You don’t have to prove anything lah… Just do your job, do it well and fuck off to your personal time. Complain this & that, say no time for anything… One of the other friend lagi worst, so OLD already still directionless and kept complaining job no prospect. She knows nuts about everything never mind, still wants to be Manager, to lead people, have assistants under her. Wau Cow… ask her what KPI is, what direction what this, what that, all don’t know. She is a joke literally. Therein lies my principle, that is why some people are WINNERS and some are not quite there yet.

就这样放了彼此的手

3 March 2008
Monday (27 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 1930 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我怀念的 by孙燕姿
Mood: *Cow & Horsie…Left*

First time in life I actually lost my voice. It happened last morning, after a good scare and wondering what happened, now slowly but surely, it is getting back. Though closer to halfway recovery mark, I tried not to talk too loudly and fast. Anyway, took my sick leave and rest at home.

What I did the whole day? Sleep, woke up, feel damn goggy… then sleep somemore. Discover that home has no food, drag lazy ass to shower and had dinner at food center. Wanted to order KFC or Pizza Hut delivery. Their menus damn delicious but logic prevail… With throat badly damaged like now, eat KFC, might as well eat razors… easier for the pocket somemore. So no choice, lan lan…

Oh yes, just send a short message to *Censored*

But well bird, you shouldn’t compare… At least a decade ago, time and tide is in my favor; I can wait and ride this out in style. But now, a decade older, I don’t know… Maybe I will survive, maybe not.

As I was telling CY a while ago, people can do whatever they want with Bird, but those actions better killed him. Cos if he ever survives it, those fuckers gona pay jialat jialat. Muahaha… ok, too much info. Speaking of information, always wanted to post this video. Guppy sang it once (or twice) before in KBox and it took me 4 months later to post it in… Oh well, better late than never… Enjoy…

我怀念的 by 孙燕姿

我问为什麼, 那女孩传简讯给我

而你为什麼, 不解释低著头沉默

我该相信你很爱我, 不愿意敷衍我

还是明白你已不想挽回什麼

想问为什麼, 我不再是你的快乐

可是为什麼, 却苦笑说我都懂了
自尊常常将人拖著, 把爱都走曲折

假装了解是怕, 真相太赤裸裸, 狼狈比失去难受

我怀念的是无话不说, 我怀念的是一起做梦
我怀念的是争吵以後, 还是想要爱你的冲动
我记得那年生日, 也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空, 最紧的右手, 最暖的胸口

(谁记得), 谁忘了

我怀念的是无言感动, 我怀念的是绝对炽热
我怀念的是你很激动, 求我原谅抱得我都痛
我记得你在背後, 我记得我颤抖著
记得感觉汹涌, 最美的烟火, 最长的相拥

谁爱的太自由, 谁过头太远了　
谁要走我的心, 谁忘了那就是承诺
谁自顾自地走, 谁忘了跟著我　
谁让爱变沉重, 谁忘了要给你温柔

(我怀念的), 我还有想要爱你的冲动

我记得那年生日, 也记得那一首歌
记得那片星空, 最紧的右手, 最暖的胸口
我放手, 我让座, 假洒脱, 谁懂我多麼不舍得

太爱了, 所以我, 没有哭, 没有说

FUCK, THE ONLY CONSTANT

2 March 2008
Sunday (26 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2030 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 问 by梁静茹
Mood: *Cow & Horsie…Right*

Damn… My throat is reduced to a croak… literally. Went for Dingy’s wedding at Merchant Court last night. Met up with Brandon and Eugene, cannot help it, talk cock sing song for the longest time, till my voice breaks up… Now, every breath, every sneeze, every groan, hurts like hell…

It was a long Friday night race session, which ended at 11.45pm. Damn, I was really damn sick and in pain after 9pm… But still, have to finish the duty… Smoke also cannot cos my throat protesting jialat jialat. After duty quickly took a cab home (claimable), then something cheebyeish happened. I left my home keys at office. Wanted to leave it there for the weekend, but knowing how happening my parents are, I decided it is in my best interest that I get my lazy ass down the first thing in the morning and get back the keys, lest I got lock out at night.

Anyway wake up at 7am, shower and off to Office to get my keys, brave the heavy rain somemore and trying hard not to knock any cheebye horses down when visibility is damn low. Drive to Holland Village for dim sum breakfast with Nyo and Elvanoes. Later off to Karaoke, met Han at 1.30pm and attend this seminar by Prudential. Basically, the seminar aim to tell us DON’T Sell their funds yet, Hang In THERE, Just fucking hang in there!

That is secondary though, I was there because Han, my BEST Friend asks me to. Besides I met a pleasant lady (his new colleague, Lea). I thought she was pleasant enough, soft spoken, I would add sweet. But apparently, the rest of her colleagues don’t think her as much. Immediately after she left, all were gossiping behind her back. I don’t usually engaged in idle talk (Not that I am morally upright or something, just one of those thing that I feel is WRONG in every sense), so when other’s are doing it so blatantly, it disgust me. Anyway, it is their life. Why should I care?

But I pitied the new girl. She is one of those forgettable plain Jane type. She seems nice but that’s all about it. No presence, no impact, just a poor girl standing in other’s shadows. Not that I want to get to know her better (she’s 34 by the way but does not look a day older than 28), just feel that with cheebye colleagues like that, who needs fuckers? But to each its own…

This whole world against her thingy has made me falling slowly in love with her… haha, figuratively. Damn, I fall quickly in and out of love. Must make my resolution sticks; CONTROL my emotions! Aww, but why deprive myself of something so real and alive? Oh well, the wonders of life…

Where are you, my beloved?

走在红毯那一天 歌手 by 彭佳慧

算一算时间, 认识他也好几年
看一看身边, 好朋友都有好姻缘
只剩下我,只剩下你, 还继续苦守寒窯, 一等十八年

有些事, 急也没有用, 我了解
我不想, 人老珠黄, 才被人送作堆

走在红毯那一天, 矇上白纱的脸
微笑中留下的眼泪, 一定很美

走在红毯那一天, 带上幸福的戒
有个人, 廝守到永远, 是一生所愿

数著时间的日子, 一点也不好过
到哪天, 他的良心, 才会发现
女人啊, 要找个真诚的男人
哪有那么难, 真有那么难