BLESSED IS THE BIRD, FOR HE SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH

31 January 2008
Thursday (27 Degree Celsius)
Early Morning @ 0110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 明明白白我的心 by 李宗盛 & 梁静茹
Mood: *Cow & Horsie… Poor Horsie, Poor Poor Horsie”

Oh well… after so long, after so many nights and days of bleakness, waiting and wondering out loud/softly what went wrong, I have finally signed on the appointment letter today. It was a jump; pay scale, grade and appointment from my previous job. Little wonder why I left that place… To clock my present scale, I need to at least work 5 years in my previous company and still don’t know can see the light or not. Well, no risk no venture, no pain no gain (something like that).

I am thankful for the love and concern from my fellow friends and relatives during my state of nothingness (read Jobless). Thanks guys, appreciate your friendship and volunteerism for some matters. On that note, something came up during my period of bleakness, some fuckers (actually one only) whom I thought is a buddy turn out to be a cheebye. But its ok, to each its own. I merely testing you only; seriously, you think I am that out and down? I despise your lack of balls, ignorance and “humor me” service. Well, that’s life. Yes that’s life and No more friendship, muhahaha…

On a less serious and more flirtatious note, I spent 1/2 hour talking cock with the MILF HR Manager. She is nice lah, pretty, mature and hee hee. The things I do while I’m supposed to be serious. And hor, I can’t believe after telling Mr Nyo about MILF meaning, he still went ahead to Google it. Wau liew, never see my warning right… NSFW liao, EVEN SPELL IT OUT! Dude, that is so NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK lor… You can always ask for a THE html to be send thru I.N.T.E.R.N.E.T

Oh yes, The Announcement of the YEAR; My Kid Brother is getting married. Woohoo!!

Alrighty, so he is like 28 but to me, he is still my little brother. Besides, he is my flesh and blood brother, what could be of more importance than that? And you thought I will be the first in line hor… haha.

Also, think mom has decided that since her eldest son will not hit any mark soon, so she insist having a few some traditions met. Haha, should have seen the look on my kid brother face when she list her demands, simply priceless. But ok lah, give all and take nothing. Easier for the heart.

As you know lah, planning such an event sure got some interesting stuffs popping up like mushroom while some traditions hard to ignore; risk upsetting the balance of POWER!!! Too bad lah, he and his wife must do their utmost to make sure, ensure and be sure all stakeholders’ views are well entertained and fulfilled. Should not be much of a problem. Hee, it is not me in the firing line what…

I’m happy, seriously fuckingly really really happy (yup, those kind of happiness). Not to mention my best friend, Han is also getting his traditional dinner in place! Man, this is going to be an extremely expensive year for Bird.

For everything under the sun, may my beloved Brother and Sister-in-law 白头到老, 早生贵子

明明白白我的心 by 李宗盛 & 梁静茹

明明白白我的心渴望一份真感情
曾经为爱伤透了心为什么甜蜜的梦容易醒

你有一双温柔的眼晴你有善解人意的心灵
如果你愿意请让我靠近我想你会明白我的心

星光灿烂风儿轻最是寂寞女儿心
告别旧日恋情把那创伤抚平不再流泪到天明

我明明白白你的心渴望一份真感情
我曾经为爱伤透了心为什么甜蜜的梦容易醒

你跟我说, 每个女孩都有个洋娃哇, 你的洋娃哇是能走在红毯的一天

29 January 2008
Tuesday (27 Degree Celsius)
Early Morning @ 2310 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 走在红毯那一天 by 彭佳慧
Mood: *Cow & Horsie looking at the Hens next door”

But I guess it is not anyone’s fault.

Here’s a song for those in pain, agony (and in the words of Nyo), here we go again…

走在红毯那一天 by 彭佳慧

算一算时间, 认识他也好几年
看一看身边, 好朋友都有好姻缘
只剩下我, 只剩下你
还继续 , 苦守寒窯, 一等十八年
有些事, 急也没有用, 我了解
我不想, 人老珠黄, 才被人送作堆

走在红毯那一天, 矇上白纱的脸
微笑中留下的眼泪, 一定很美
走在红毯那一天, 带上幸福的戒
有个人廝守到永远, 是一生所愿

数著时间的日子, 一点也不好过
到哪天, 他的良心才会发现
女人啊, 要找个真诚的男人
哪有那么难, 真有那么难

她没有错, 只是没有陪我到最后™

Good Night my fellow brethrens and sisters.

Have faith and be strong… That’s all we ever will have, at least in this lifetime. In the end, after all the hustle and bustle of Festive Seasons, Valentine Day; I still missed you so much… If I know who you are...

我爱你的天真, 爱你的诚恳

28 January 2008
Monday (26 Degree Celsius)
Early Morning @ 0010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 用尽一生的爱 by 张克帆
Mood: *Cow & Horsie looking at the sky”

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you,
Do not fear; I will help you (Isaiah 41:13)

Oh lord… why did I keep getting myself into such mess? Why don’t I ever learn…

用尽一生的爱 by 张克帆

岁月的风抚平成长的痛, 经过几番悲欢离合之后
究竟有多少的人能够看透
有多少往事不堪回首

时间的钟敲醒不老的梦, 人生一场喜怒哀乐交错
究竟有多少感动可以保留
有多少朋友陪到最后

这世界分分秒秒来去匆匆, 从来不会为谁停留
一生中寻寻觅觅转眼成空
一旦错过不能从头

用尽一生的爱只为了换来释放后的自由
我爱过哭过痛过笑过
这一生就已足够

用尽一生的爱不在乎是否能够天长地久
我无悔无怨无憾无尤
这一生又有何求

WHAT I EVER WANTED IN A GIRL…

26January 2008
Saturday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2200 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 擦肩而过 by 李圣杰
Mood: *Cow & Horsie are alone yet again”

Today brought Han & Nicole for Lasik operation. It was a fun experience, talking cock, singing song… haha. According to them, it was pretty fast and stress-free ops. Oh yes, speaking of which, I gird my loin, cow peh a bit and move on for my duty. It was ok actually; both of them are able to walk about unaided after the Lasik. How these little buggers ops have advanced.

Amazing the ops but no, I’ll give it a miss… Don’t say touch inner eye, put contact lens also got problem. I rather fuck spider than put contact lens, so what are the odds that I will do Lasik? Though it was pretty tempting… Ah, dilemma time; Fuck Spider or do Lasik… Fuck Spider…

Anyway, today eat quite a lot… Damn! Morning had 3 Kueys, 1 pack of Bee Hoon with egg and 2 Carrot Cake. At 3pm, had half a chicken rice and Oyster Omelets. At 7pm, had a bowl of fish ball noodles. 1 bananas and half a guava for dessert… No wonder I am feeling so fucking going to burst.

Oh well… since in the mood, here’s one joke for the road…

When I was 14, all I wanted was a girl with big tits.

When I was 16, I dated a girl with big tits, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with some stability.

When I was 25, I found a very stable girl, but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone she met. She made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart, ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

Now I am 42, and all I want is a girl with big tits.

Now that is what I call a bloody good joke… Albeit a sexist one… haha

Ah, I am seeing a familiar pattern developing, Cheese Pie… Alas, Life is tough…

只想告诉你… 就算未来有多少错, 至少还有我的问候我的温柔陪你度过™

够 Steady 吧… 好爱好爱你, if you had a name...

WHAT IF SOMEONE YOU NEVER MET, SOMEONE YOU NEVER SAW, SOMEONE YOU NEVER KNEW WAS THE ONLY SOMEONE FOR YOU

25 January 2008
Friday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 擦肩而过 by 李圣杰
Mood: *Cow & Horsie are alone again”

Just another song

擦肩而过 by 李圣杰

我爱着谁 爱到我有点醉,
告诉我你是谁, 能够把我让我变不对

你不会累 但我却爱你爱到好累
从没有为了谁 不顾安慰付出一切

站在这平衡点 我还是觉得有点危险
或许是看不见 只能够靠感觉

他不会是个好男人 也不会是个好情人
你对我说我们只是擦肩而过
好的男人有那么多 少了他的日子也能过

我不会再让你寂寞 也不会让你更难过
你听我说要好好学着去生活
就算未来有多少错
至少还有我的问候我的温柔陪你度过

你听我说 你不要这么做
你不要看着我 说你已经知道怎么做

你很难受 我愿意陪你一起承受
只要你不怕痛 再多坎坷我都陪你走

I AM GOING OUTSIDE TO MAKE OUT, CARE TO JOIN ME? MUAHAHA

24 January 2008
Thursday (24 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹 (Again, Muahaha)
Mood: *Cow & Horsie ignored Sheepie”

Wau lan eh, I happened to re-read my previous post and found like 8 censored line items. Like that still post for fuck right? Censored here censored there… scare people see still want to post… Sometime I don’t understand the things I do… Oh Fuck it…

Someone made an interesting comment that it (neutral gender) knows how it feels like being in my shoes, like Jobless for 3 months and no light at the end of tunnel.

First thing first, NO, YOU DO NOT FUCKING KNOW HOW I FEEL.

Every day sending out countless resumes, stay business/daily relevance, steadfast and not waver in face of bleakness. It is not the waiting that is fricking painful but the uncertainty and despair setting in time and again. YOU do not know how it is like to be 3 months jobless, without fucking pay and yet have to cover insurance premium and of course, the credit card bills.

Quit your fucking job, stay unemployed for a few months, paid up like 1.5K of credit card bills EVERY month while maintaining your lifestyle, then I say we are in the same league. If not, don’t tell me you know how it feels and yours its like 6 months or so longer. YOU made an active choice NOT quitting your fucking dead end job and while you had your chances. YOU dread forsaking your comfortable job schedule, timing and responsibility. Fucking whine and stay confuse for what? Now you are telling me what? You are in the same league as me?

You are a product of your own making and indecisiveness. Who are to be blamed for your stupidity and self fulfilling prophecy?

Like my Supreme Commander used to say; BALLS to you (Or Bollocks).

On a happier note, I notice something of interest today…

To the untrained eyes, we would not even have flinched. One word (or sentence), MILF.

You can do a Google search for it, though highly not recommended during work (like NSFW – Not suitable for Work) for obvious reasons.

Gosh, you should have seen the number of MILF in the void decks, waiting for their little ones finishing Pre and Junior schools. Damn! Some of them are even younger than me. Argh, I only notice them (in a big setting) like today while on my way to grab my cigarettes. Damn man… They are, how you put it across simply and in English? Errm, like MILF haha.

Nyo has a point; soon even the aunties would look delicious (don’t know was that in reference to me or him), cos I don’t seems to be able to wean off my preference for SYT haha.

Anyway, that kept me thinking on why our taste (mostly) changes with time (or age). My hypothesis is that there is this switch like thing in brain that will automatically tuned whenever you reaches a certain age. For example, in our teens, we do not consciously looking at aunties (like those in 30s) and only concentrate on girls like… Teens? It changes as we aged (or mature). I think there is this evolutionary benefit to it. The law aside (pedophile rings a bell?), it make sense changing our sexual lifestyle. Older People have lesser sex but of more intensity and pleasurable ones. This has got to do with maturity, planning and responsibility, unlike quickie sessions for the younger species.

Though I must add, sometime, switch also screw up. That is why still have people like me who still love SYT, despite being like OLD. Gosh, my prefer age range still relatively stable, from 17 to 35… haha. Why 17? Cos anything below that is statutory rape. Seriously, try explaining to the Judge why the 16 year old girl is naked in your hotel room… Consent doesn’t mean legal. That in itself is another long theory. Lets work on that another time.

EVEN IF IT IS LIP SERVICE, I WOULDN’T BE ANY WISER…

24 January 2008
Thursday (24 Degree Celsius)
Early Morning@ 0300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹 (Again, Again and Again)
Mood: *Cow & Horsie Lick Sheepie”

Even if it is lip service, I wouldn’t be any wiser…



淘汰 by 陈奕迅

我说了所有的谎, 你全都相信
简单的我爱你 你却老不信
你书里的剧情 我不想上演
因为我喜欢喜剧收尾

我试过完美放弃 的确很踏实
醒来了 梦散了 你我都走散了
情歌的词何必押韵 就算我是K歌之王
也不见得把爱情唱得完美

只能说我输了 也许是你怕了
我们的回忆没有皱褶 你却用离开淌下句点
只能说我认了 你的不安赢得你信任
我却得到你安慰的淘汰

WHY ISN’T MY LOVE ENOUGH?

22 January 2008
Tuesday (25 Degree Celsius)
Early Morning@ 0320 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *Cow & Horsie decide to torture Sheepie”

我可以爱你吗？

我还可以舍求什么?

你能不了解我的心真的很寂寞? 我该用什么方式把你留下, 该用什么方式好好爱你…

Him: I don’t want to be happy

Her: Everybody wants to be happy…

Him: Depressives don't. They want to be unhappy to confirm they're depressed. If they were happy they couldn't be depressed anymore. They'd have to go out into the world and live. Which can be more depressing?

Her: Why isn’t my love enough?

为你我受冷风吹 by 梁静茹

为你我受冷风吹寂寞时候流眼泪
有人问我是与非说是与非
可是谁又真的关心谁

若是爱已不可为你明白说吧无所谓
不必给我安慰何必怕我伤悲
就当我从此收起真情谁也不给

我会试着放下往事管它过去有多美
也会试着不去想起
你如何用爱将我包围那深情的滋味

但愿我会就此放下往事, 忘了过去有多美
不盼缘尽仍留慈悲, 虽然我曾经这样以为
我真的这样认为

为你我受冷风吹寂寞时候流眼泪
有人问我是与非说是与非
可是谁又真的关心谁

又被伤了一遍 , 无所谓当作成长吧

SOME LIONS MATE OVER 50 TIMES A DAY (HOW ABOUT A PIG, QUALITY OVER QUANTITY?)

19 January 2008
Windy Saturday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2120 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *Cow, Horsie & Sheepie are friends now”

Woke up rather early this morning, rush to Tanjong Pagar for karaoke session with Nyo & Elvan. We are damn free lor, Morning start singing at 9am… Anyway, the karaoke system was quite good actually, besides, we only sings those few oldies and some not so old songs, so it doesn’t really matters, besides, it is free… complain so much for what?

I thought MRT would be less crowded on Saturday but Damn… It is fricking Saturday for goodness sake! All thanks to the wonderful trains’ schedule; you get sardines packed train every day. Maximized profit they say… Seriously I have no qualms about rising transportation price, but please, show some decency to the masses can? Everything down to dollars and cents make you a fucker (lacking a better word). But then, they are fucker what and you know what can be worst? We are willing to be fucked! I need a car… cos then, I am only be fucked by ERP, HDB, LTA, etc. Either way, we are all fucked. What to do…

I did not have a good sleep lately, kept tossing and turning in bed… Maybe I’m nervous, whatever it is, one thing for sure, it is over and that is some news. Come this morning, luckily have cigarettes, if not, I would most probably be zonked out.

Now come the tough part…

Clementine: Birdy?

Bird: Yes, Tangerine?

Clementine: Don't ever leave me.

Bird: By morning, we'll be gone…
Clementine: Birdy? What if we stay this time?

Bird: There's no memory left for us …

Clementine: Come back and make up a goodbye at least, let's pretend we had one... Goodbye.
Bird: ...I love you...

Clementine: ...Meet me, anywhere, any place, just meet me... Promise

是我勇敢太久决定为你一个人而活…

Oh yes, I just found out that my favorite love song was written about a sea slug… What can be worst?

勇敢 by 张惠妹

黑暗中寂寞伸出的双手, 冰凉的空气像火害怕又收手
路太远谁的眼神永远, 盲目跟你一起走怎样才会懂
记忆里爱应该总是温柔, 有了这一切才能不怕黑夜

是我勇敢太久决定为你一个人而活, 不能说出口那么折麽
勇敢了太久城市充满短暂的烟火无处躲, 照亮了沉默明白是寂寞

谁说过爱会让人不自由, 所以你要我等候换你的追求
有太多快乐自私作借口, 你让我最后 把心痛当拥有

夜太黑, 看不见, 你在我身边, 心伤悲,泪水失去防备

于是我们照亮了沉默, 习惯了孤单, 才发现爱原来是寂寞™

TRY SAYING I THINK YOU COULD USE MORE TRAINING INSTEAD OF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE DOING

18 January 2008
Windy Friday (34 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 0120 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 乘虚而入 by 苏永康
Mood: *Cow & Horsie meet Sheepie”

Sometime I wonder, what could be more despondent…

Seeing a dog being leashed & restrained hard by its owner whenever it feels like doing business

OR

Seeing a dog leashed and pulling the owner hard around whenever it feels like shitting.

I might be wrong, but isn’t us the top dog (no pun) in this little food chain?

Of course, I got this inspiration upon seeing one particular owner who besides being dragged around, also run helplessly with the dog on leashed wherever it feels like going. It does not help that she has another poodle comfortably seated in the pram-like carrier that she has to push. Slave to 2 of her precious little canines… and they are not even cute to begin with (same as the owner, fugly). It only serves to deplore the lowness of this primitive specimen (the lady) from our mighty species.

Sigh… one of the many wonders I get to admire from a far while smoking. Oh was telling BB too, that I have change my cigarette brand to KENT, on recommendation from Han. Why? Firstly, it has carbon filter, might make me live longer since it filtered the bad air… (haha) and it taste better. It has this, in the words of Han, Vanilla favor. So far, only managed to trick Joan… Haha, of course, kids don’t try ok, this one is done by old uncles.

Tonight, I have made a conscious effort to do it; to make contact with *Censored*For what it is worth, for that moment of flesh, the ecstasy and when it all ends, the loneliness will still be around. Waiting for me.

That revelation kept my sanity for tonight. *Censored*

I give up.

Mankind can go fuck yourself. It doesn’t matter anymore. Was, still is and will be not important to my life. Oh yes, did I say mankind can fuck themselves? And Yes, to drive the point home, notice I said, FUCK, not Fug or some underlying substitute words?

To end, some jokes to cheer you up… Maybe not particularly for you, for me then perhaps…

Husband: "When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger"
Wife: "I'll clean the toilet bowl."
Husband:"How does that help?"
Wife:"I use your tooth brush."

That is why also, No Choice and Out of Choice… I am Single.

WHEN IN DOUBT, EMPTY THE MAGAZINE

16 January 2008
Sunny Wednesday (34 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2000 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 乘虚而入 by 苏永康
Mood: *Cow & Horsie are friends now”

It feels kind of strange, almost surreal. I am alive! After all these days, I am actually still living. Oh bugger…

I made 2 friends recently, both of which will and forever remain anonymous, for everyone’s sake. Needless to say, I do enjoy talking to them. It is a preference actually, a choice one made in life, not the best or the least pleasant but it is my choice.

Went for another run at 2pm today, if there is another word for SBR (Shack beyond Recognition), that would be the word. I nearly died under the hot sun, the lack of shade and someone up there played a divine joke on me, no Wind at all for the longest time. But I survived. As usual and as always, I survived. Live to tell the tales.

Speaking of tales, I am still halfway thru the “World is Flat”. The gist of the book? The world is flat. I kid you not, every page is telling the same old story of world being flat. It is an OK book lah. What to do, buy already must read.

Since nothing in the making, I shall prolong the entry with….JOKES…

Imaginary Dialogue: At the Gym

*Removed*

For peace and prosperity of mankind ... Sorry, Kweky... heee

And another one…

A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest. She lies down on the bed... just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up. The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.

"Look... lie here on the bed - you'll be thrown right to the floor!"

So he lies down next to the wife. Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?"

The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"

Although I have to admire his truthfulness. But hey, like the marines usually say and do; When in doubt, Empty the fucking magazine. That is why also most court martial cases are predominately them.

Oh well, Good Night, Sleep tight & let the bedbug Bite you jialat jialat… or is that Don’t? Whatever…

于是我们照亮了沉默, 习惯了孤单, 才发现爱原来是寂寞™

15 January 2008
Sunny Tuesday (32 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1200 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 乘虚而入 by 苏永康
Mood: *Cow friend Horsie”

说也惭愧, I dated her like for so long and yet I have not wrote a nice entry for her, ever. Why didn’t I?

I supposed everything has a reason; she DUMPED me… She BITES me. Well, she still BITES me. The truth, I do not quite know. Besides, she blocked my msn messenger for a good 1 year before relented and started chatting again.

Him: I fell in love, sorry…

Her: Oh, as if you had no choice? There's a moment, there's always a moment, "I can do this, I can give into this, or I can resist it", and I don't know when your moment was, but I bet you there was one.

That part I am guilty.

I think part of my problem is my lack of concentration in whatever I do. That is, in a simpler emotional state; I am inattentive. Also, according to her, I also tend to keep most things to myself and not sharing all aspects of life. But, that is me what, I argued.

Being together needs compromise and understanding, tons of it. Compromise on my everything and understand nothing of her. That way, it is a sure fire way to prolong your life. But then, 简单就没意识了. Alas, the great complexity of life.

For better or worse, at least there are happy moments, nostalgia collection to keep us going during those long cold lonely nights. That is my tragedy, comedy or whatever mankind made it out to be.

乘虚而入 by 苏永康

亲爱的别哭, 慢慢把话说清楚
沉默是最难抵抗的冲突, 只听到彼此的孤独

别轻言结束, 让我有机会弥补
我不再让一切以我为主, 不会再让你跟不上我的脚步

是我自私, 我麻木, 我忘了付出, 一切都是我的疏忽
才会让你心里多了一个角落
让寂寞填补

女人的心, 男人若不能保护, 还有什么资格谈幸福
我不该让寂寞一再的和你相处
一再乘虚而入

我清楚, 爱情里唯一的企图
是让对方觉得被在乎
让彼此感到幸福

凭一种男人的直觉去承受这份残缺

13 January 2008
Sunny Sunday (32 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1140 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *ok Cow, I forgive you…*

Anyway, had a great house warming get together at Han’s place. Ms Teo’s family, Hiok and GF and me, the Bird. We chat, talk cock, sing songs and even got magic show. Yup, making good on my promise that I will die die also blog about the magic show. In a nutshell… Damn…

Always nice seeing them. Its like reliving the good old days again. Except of course there is a baby (Mrs Teo’s Seth), change in marital status; Mr & Mrs Tan, Hiok and GF. The only constant in this get together is needless to say, Bird. It has been a long and eventful 13 years of friendship. How we have aged and move on in life. Glad everyone is happy, healthy and well, Happy.

Later watch this movie, Closer, in Han’s place by Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman (very Chio by the way) and the very manly Clive Owen. Basically it revolves round 4 of them and their intricate linkage; they needed each other while Jude law is the bastard that rocks the peace. Between us, I think we smoke like 5 sticks each during the movie. It is that thought provocating…

Oh yes, Cloverfield finally making it to shore next week. I have been dying to see it since like I was in States. It BETTER be good (unlike I am legend) and it better NOT be some Godzilla movie remake. Cos, if that is the case, I will be very very upset and I might just throw my popcorn at the big screen. Pity my movie companion that is… heee

It ain’t easy but that is life.



风的泪 by 张克帆

没有你的音乐会, 特别为你留个座位
闭上眼睛感觉, 曾经被你爱的滋味

心里有一段时间, 永远无法跨越昨天
我痛苦我看见, 对你迷恋已没有终点

一旦爱就自私的可以, 不能容许别人去疼你
感情怎能只有我继续, 你留在何处忘了回去

风吹走我眼角的一滴泪, 来不及闭上眼睛去挽回
往事再也追不回, 心破碎再破碎
被爱是最美

风吹走我心中的一滴泪, 再没有谁能让我去迷醉
如果我懂得拒绝, 你存在的世界
何必在乎谁, 吻你的嘴

A PIG ORGASM LASTS 30 MIN (IN MY NEXT LIFE, I WANT TO BE A PIG)

12 January 2008
Windy Saturday (27 Degree Celsius)
Night@ 0010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *Give it up to COW!*

Well, Integration and assimilation got to wait. For now… cos I have bigger issues at stake. Like?

Until recently, I think my patience for humoring others is getting on the thin side. It is like everything they do, no do and even thought about doing will get on my nerve. These couple of months of nothingness has not done me any good, rather, it has turn my opinion against the world at large, particularly towards some cheebye friends.

Firstly, saw some cheebye blog entry and their English usage. From my months of reading (out of choice) I can only derive that some of the entries are copied wholesale (WITHOUT Citation, a Moral Sin) while others are straight from POOR ENGLISH foundation. Of course, we could give them the benefit of doubt but hey, even normal conversational English with me makes no sense, what are the odds that they can actually write anything sensible? Whatever retard things their minute brain can conjure out will be automatically put in writing, it is the nature of things. And if any, it is their cheebye fault for having such a small brain. Told them to read more, listen more and talk cheebyely less don’t listen lah. Now cannot even construct a sensible sentence. DAMN! No, Damnnnn

I am not saying mine is/are the best constructed English ever, but try lah. Government gives you education free somemore for cheebye 15 years and all you can ever come up with is some nonsensical entry and lagi worst, copy somemore. Might as well go fuck yourself. Hmm, on that note I think they are either doing it or are planning to do.

Some time people also have this disparity in their sense of reality and lala land. Someone once told me their job criteria; MORE PAY, Less stressful job, MORE responsibility, 8 to 5 job, near home, Job title SOUND Higher class, and family orientated. Basket, got such cheebye job, I also take lah, What are the odds? More pay and less work… Cow… Makes me wonder about their intelligence.

To rub in (all they want), those cheese pie have to keep asking me have I found a job, what have I been doing blah blah blah. Nabei, AS if I am planning my own demise like that and TO make it look like I ACTUALLY DID, people can even say, have you try this, try that. Try fucking the cows better! I can sense and feel a sarcasm from million of miles away; cheebye, asking me like out of humoring me and rubbing into my wound. Assuredly when the day does come, I shall personally drown them in warm beer and feed you to the lions. Trust me, the beer and the lions will do them real good.

Then have to encounter some cheebye friends who give all kind of excuses. Scare Wife scold lah, scare find out smoking, drinking and all sort of fucking retard excuses. In my view, they are just pussy, scare this scare that and still want to do it behind wife/gf back. Some are even more terok, everything also need to PRE BOOKED like 1 year in advance. I cannot understand what and how busy can a guy be. Ok, here’s my take, if you invite me to your wedding and if I tell you this:

Sorry, I will be fucking spider that day

It means you are in my little black book. Simple?

Speaking of intelligence, I just cannot stand friends’ lack of brains. SO HERE IS MY ANOTHER TAKE; be as smart if not smarter than me, then we talk and if I am not talking to you from now on, it’s you. Nothing personal, it is just the way nature has it all along; Survival of the fittest.

The Era of humoring the masses has ended. A New age has risen.

Oh well… enough of my cowpeh, Have fun

An American tourist goes on a sex trip to China without any precautions. A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his dick, covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see his doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in a two days, for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here”.

The man looks a little relieved and says "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up,"

The doctor answers "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."

The man screams in horror, "Oh no!

The doctors replies, "Well it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice."

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his dick, and proclaims "Ah yes, Monlolian VD. Velly lare lisease. "

The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, you dickhead, I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid Amellican loctor! Always want to opulate. Make more money, that way. lo leed to opulate!"

"Oh thank God!" the man replies and try to leave without paying…

"Yes" says the Chinese doctor before guy closes the door,

"You lo worry! Stupid Amellican guy, Wait two weeky. Dick fall off by itself!"

STARFISH HAVE NO BRAINS (I KNOW SOME PEOPLE LIKE THAT TOO…)

9 January 2008
Windy Wednesday (24 Degree Celsius)
Lunch @ 1240 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹 (yup, I going to Master this SONG!!)
Mood: *My Cow oh my poor Cow*

Following my social theorem, these days I think it is exceptionally hard and rational to understand what the fuck the world and to that extend, Singapore is heading to. So many policy changes happened and what could have more social impact than say, CPF change (again). Seriously, how could a simple mission and vision of individual retirement planning (in an era where the buzz word has not even been conceived) become so distorted? Affecting just about every citizen.

Then came the mean testing for medical needs and subsidies. Ok, don’t know whether the health minister read my previous post on similar philosophy or what, but in a nutshell, it sound comparable:

On a more philosophical note though, why should the children of rich Malays/Blacks be given a head start over the children of poor Chinese/Indians? (The Wind in the Willow, Jan 2, 2008)

Nevertheless it does give us an insight on their viewpoint and the attitude of the government at large. After all, we do need a broad BIG Picture for obvious reasons. But I have to say, LUCKY Foreign talents! Those bastards! Of course by the Bastard definition, I do not exactly mean it, well, for discussion purpose, lets just say it is like what Capt Barbossa commented before they sail off the coast with Elizabeth Swan (of Pirates of the Caribbean’s fame) , “the code (or in our context, Philosophy) is what you call Guidelines than actual rules”…

Well Mate, Welcome Aboard.

Back tracking a little too much, as promised, here is Bird’s understanding on Democracy and Citizenship. You see, much of our thinking about democracy assumes the existence of a State (as obvious). No State where is democracy? That is true in most instances like those in Western European and northern America… And by “state” I mean a politically organized society, with a central authority, operating over a territory that monopolizes the legitimate use of force (Crushed dissent using ISA, Jail fuckers for Terrorist threats and oh yes, conveniently pairing them up with some outlawed international threat). It also encompass wide range of policy competences from employment, environment, health, domestic security, to say remaking the red-light district (yup, those sort of things).

Our standard conceptions of democracy, current paradigms of democraticness, are therefore linked to this institutional setting. The main idea is, roughly, policy-makers are held accountable to citizens through regular competitive elections (elections… DUh), against a background of basic liberties of speech (Speaker’s Corner at some ulu Chinatown park) and association (remember NTUC?).

In a utopian society like mine, Citizens will need to adhere to a generalized ideal of social good, id est. for the good of everybody. Other than the nation’s favorite pastime of cow-pehing in distinctly very localized setting of a French café; think no smoke, no aircon, no baguettes, no bourgeoisie and usually consisting of proletariats, Some smarty pants could (by principle of law) debate issues openly.

However, they will need to apply permit from the home ministry, scripts being vetted and sign some undertaking form that sells their soul to the devil before they are given the go ahead. And if, a big if, they make it alive to Speaker’s Corner, they could theoretically talk the script. Any deviation will be punished by hey… Law! Some (usually more note worthy ones) are being videotaped by law enforcers for educational purposes; building up the suspense for the speaker before the kill, or which body anatomy cannot whack in case got visible injury. Beside, trust our law enforcer on their promise that videos will be kept without destruction unlike the American. It is for educational purpose right?

So in an ideal situation, such debates will spur competing parties with distinct views; like People’s, Worker’s, Solidarity and Democratic etc. Fundamental element remained; Citizens choose representatives that best holds their views, and those buggers make policies and hold officials, executives and regulators; accountable for the articulation and implementation of such policies. Thus we have a highly mediated form of accountability to citizens as A BODY OF EQUALS! Not Lim Pei 说了就算 type.

I would think the best example of such democracy (best, I did not say PERFECT) would be US of A. It has a distinct avenue of check and balances. Judiciary Arm to implement whatever cheebye laws the Legislative Arm such as Senators (ala people representatives) can come up, the Executive Arm to run the Country (like our Ministries). Each in turn will check the other proceedings and make some noise if they are deem unconstitutional. As the days go by, it tends to get a little chaotic, messy and pork barrel-ly. But hey, even a Blind Squirrel sometime also found its nuts. I found mine too… sometime…

Democracy names a class of arrangements through which the interests, beliefs, principles, and ideals of persons who are subject to collective decisions are brought to bear on making those decisions: ways that the authorization to exercise power results from the collective decisions of the members of a society who are governed by that power (as cited)

Hence, in summary, this modern conception, with representation and party competition, meets the demands on responsiveness and accountability in the setting of a modern state. Of course, those are in an ideal situation, but knowing the ambiguity of mankind and its liking (some say obsession) for Lim Pei 说了就算 behavior, we have all sort of hybrids form of governance. It is perfectly (to a fault) fine with me, as long as the basic principles of Justice, Equality and Peace are adhere to.

Oh silly me, progressive government also has this “thousand and one reasons” to back their decisions, remember the “You Wrong, Hence Me Right” theory? Yup, those fuckers are perverting the fundamentals of democracy. We could argue till cow become oil, and you are still fucking wrong.

Moving on, let’s discuss the generalized ideal on citizenship. The lofty, very chim-itology ideals aside, basically the rights and responsibilities can be surmise as follow:

Citizen pays taxes (ok, Foreign trash also).

Obey criminal laws enacted even while abroad (right, so everybody is doing it, big deal…)

But Citizen served in the country's armed forces and when called upon, fight for motherland. It is our Rights and our obligation to defend the independence and freedom of our land.

Now, try telling that to Foreign Talents. Don’t say NS, tell those fucker to fuck spider they also complain.

On a more philosophical note, citizenship should also be based on ethical and moral duties; first and foremost, demonstrating commitment and loyalty to the state. Then while you are at it, constructively criticizing the conditions of political and civic life (bad example of what NOT to do while vacationing here). Of course, all talk and no action makes Jack an impotent boy, hence should actively participate improving the quality of political and civic life, ok, maybe not political life. For your sake, really.

Then come the moral higher ground thingy; Exercising one's rights and respecting the rights of others and even defending one's own rights and the rights of others against those who would abuse them. Told you it is a lofty ideology, that is why I call it philosophical, meaning, say say only, why would anyone want to achieve that… wait got lock up under ISA how?

To prolong my entries, my aches have slowly but surely recovering. Sexually, I am pretty ok, not too much sex (non at the moment), not too much stress (non too…) and not too much thrill (yup, zero at last count). Hey, that pretty much summed up everything in my life.

Next stop, our unique problem of Immigration and its BIGGIEST QUESTION;

Assimilation versus Integration.

IN THE ABSENCE OF LIGHT, DARKNESS PREVAIL

7 January 2008
Windy Monday (29 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 1900 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *Where is the DAMN Cow, man!*

I have finally decided to put on hold a couple of my “very excitingly conceived” theories. Ha, cannot blame me, I am busy lah, and besides, I have decided to finish like 12 books in a month. After which, you can expect more EXCITING theories in the writing. Provided of course, I don’t die of boredom…

Anyway, I think I have overstrained myself at the Gym last week. The muscle aches are gone but the pains between the joints remain. Damn, I should have just gone for the free weights instead of machine assist. You know lah, Machine needs you to awkwardly position your movement. SO I am weak… no choice, life is tough.

Speaking of weak, I regretted taking those fucking cold tablets and should just let the cold viruses do me in. That is, make myself damn jialat until can die from cold symptoms then eventually, the body immunity fights back and bingo, recovered fully. The Pills on the other hand works on suppressing the viruses but somehow for some reasons, it just lingers here and there. DRATS. Till now, like 3 weeks later, still can feel a little coldness coming in and out of my life.

Hopefully I will be stronger and mightier come Friday. Damn, still have that half bottle of Martel left after the Friday’s drink session. So you see, must Drink. Drink is good, it numbs your sense among other things and for those temporal moments, it is only YOU that matters. Of course, the pretty waitress has got nothing to do with me going again. Haha…

Actually these drinking, self inflict pleasure and perhaps sex are not so different from say, our animal instincts. We are after all selfish little bastards and besides, we live on pleasure seeking and for some pain. Therefore Bird’s theory holds that hope, the quintessential element in mankind survival, is what nudging people doing stuffs that they otherwise would not have done on any given day. Seriously, why you think we enjoy doing things that only we could comprehend like shopping and sex for instance. Because, for that short period of time, we are actively making ourselves happy (so to speak) as opposed to say work, which I am inclined to label it as passive and just forget the worldly trouble.

In short, depending on your belief/religion/karma points, we are nothing more than animals. I know some of you might be inclined to disagree and I totally respect your belief (that is, after I drown you in warm beer and feed it to the lions). See, told you I am a democratic bird.

Oh yes, finally got a call for an interview. DAMN MAN… It is like 3 months! Well, as I always bullshit myself with; Have Faith. Ya, except that it get really bleak as the day goes. Not entirely my fault though, if any, I blame it on the weather. Ok, so maybe not the weather, still if I ever come to power, a lot of the CEOs will be in deep shit. Till then, need to eat some humble pie. But I do have a little problem; don’t think I can fit into any of my work pants (oh SHIT). See lah, eat, drink, sleep, rot so long lah. Lucky my various business suit pants are still (if my memory served me well), wearable.

On the humble pie thingy, BB has insisted that I applied for this FA job. I see the job title my knees buckled liao. And upon reading the job description, I can’t even feel my own dick… Seriously, why would they even consider a lowly bird? Now come the fun part, it is like any tom, dick or harry can apply for. The catch? Nothing apparently. Wait for them to call me up for interview. And according to BB, it is going to be one LONG interviewing sessions, that is of course I am invited in the first place. But she is right, I have to start somewhere, somehow…

I think it is appropriate also to track my progress for the New Year so here goes

Book: The World is Flat (Current reading)
Run: 5km (So far)

Wish me luck my fellow brethrens and sisters!

I STOPPED FIGHTING MY INNER DEMONS. WE ARE ON THE SAME SIDE NOW

6 January 2008
Windy Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2240 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *Where is my Cow, man*

It has been a while since the last update… So what have I been doing? Nothing much actually…

Went for a drink session with Han on Friday. Had Dinner with Nyo and Elvanoes on Saturday and off to Toys hunting today. Run here, run there, also like that.

I think I should start reading my library of books. I mean, I bought so many books and I really ought to start reading them… If not buy for fuck…

Been also chatting with BB lately. She is ok, just the way I remembered her. Which is a good thing haha…

Ok, risk boring you to death… let’s have some jokes and call it a day

A lady approaches her priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."
"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They only know how to say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. 'Want to have some fun?'"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed, "but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, want to have some fun?"
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, "Put the beads away. Our prayers have been answered!"

Alrighty, I sounded sexist and you dreaded those… but hey, that’s life

Since also this entry is fucking short… another sexist jokes to fill in the gap

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retire to their twin beds. However, the man was not yet ready to slumber, and called over to his wife "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."

So the woman gets out of bed and crosses the room to the husband. On the way, she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband, with a concerned look on his face says " Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"

The woman just smiles, gets up and enters hubby's bed. The two have passionate sex, and afterwards the woman rolls out.

As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.

The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says

"Clumsy bitch."

I know this joke did make Joan and Han laugh… muahaha. Told you we are sexist …

I DON’T MIND COMING TO WORK… BUT THAT NINE HOUR WAIT TO GO HOME IS A BITCH

3 January 2008
Windy Thursday (28 Degree Celsius)
Night@ 2340 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *Still Don’t have a Cow, man*

And when you think hikes are the byword of the yesteryears, Sing Power decides to join in the station wagon; Price hike cos Oil per barrel is increasing exponentially. Coincidentally, as yours truly is typing this entry, the cost per barrel just topped all time high at US$100 per barrel today. It is a symbolic level anyway, a long anticipated milestones in an era of rapidly escalating energy demands.

And speaking of which, it is just slightly below its historic (inflation-adjusted of course) high reached in April 1980 in the aftermath of the Iranian revolution, when oil prices jumped to the equivalent of $102 a barrel in today's money. Basically, we are not that fucked yet. Besides, we have had like 25 years of technological advancement; things are getting more efficient and greener… I hope.

Actually, as most know, the rise in oil prices in recent years has been driven by an unprecedented surge in demand from the United States, China and other Asian and Middle Eastern countries. Booming economies have led to more consumption of oil-derived products like gasoline, jet fuel and diesel. Also higher prices have been cast as vindication of a theory that the world has reached the maximum rate of oil production. Explorers have failed to discover major new fields to replace aging deposits being tapped. The bush administration is looking at the vast Alaskan wilderness as the next gold rush while Alberta, Canada has technically the highest deposit of oil sand, supposedly more oil than the current explore deposit, that is if they can economically convert the heavy oil to usable ones.

Looking back, when the SP price hike was made public recently, someone did point out that Singapore electricity is mainly natural gas powered. Of course, remember my “infallible civil service” theory? SP backed it up with tons of data and stats (I got lost when they say “Lim Pei Say Hike, U jolly well take a Hike…). Anyway, their reply has also concur with my other theory; Lim Pei don’t have to be right, as long as I can prove you are wrong, Lim Pei is right already. Forgive my dragginess, without which, it does not bring justices to the story.

Anyway, I did a little research on the natural gas energy market, yes, the prices have all but increased in recent years. The connection between oil and natural gas is not that difficult to understand (Unlike the official reply). In a nutshell, it goes like this

Natural Gas Inventories: Despite everything, gas capacity and storage is at all time high.

Weather effects: For obvious reason, if storage and production places kena hurricane or earthquake, supplies will be disrupted. So far not yet…

Improving production: After Hurricane Katrina & Rita, the global supply has somewhat increased due to recovery of the offshore production. Good news really, as the price technically should fall but…

Increasing demand: Global consumption has also comparatively increased. And I have not even counted China. Lucky for us, their electricity generation is still pretty much coal based.

High Oil price: Ah, now the clarity of their relationships as opposed to SP replies; Some cheebye power conglomerates have the flexibility to switch between oil and natural gas. So if oil increase, they change to gas, gas demand increased and hence gas price also increased.

But those are beside the point… Why a monopolistic company make money on the goodwill of its citizens? Not as if we are going anywhere or had a choice… Damn! Sometime, I hate my clarity, Official replies just don’t make sense after that … That’s why Ignorance is bliss.

Oh yes, I went to gym today, it was good. I went for a 5km run, it was good too. Ok folks, time to sleep… Better eat, drink and be Merry while times are good man… It will not last.

SOMETIME IN LIFE, IT IS NECESSARY TO PROVE THE OBVIOUS BEFORE YOU GO ON TO THE LESS OBVIOUS

2 January 2008
Windy Wednesday (26 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon@ 1540 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 灰姑娘 by 张惠妹
Mood: *Don’t have a Cow, man*

Sometime in life, it is necessary to prove the obvious before you go on to the less obvious. It is like this saying by some elite; I don’t have to be right, as long as you are wrong, I am right already. Tantalizing for the senses isn’t it?

Following on the success of my trilogies (haha), we shall look at cultural, social significant and its implication for us. This is, for obvious reason, my sibei limited understanding of historical context and worldly facts. Besides, I got F9 for 6 of my 7 subjects in O level leh… How smart can I be… And please, don’t anyhow quote me, wait I kenna sued. See my disclaimer solid right? Cover all grounds.

Since the beginning of modern history (theoretically should coincide with the European Renaissance), the local Indigenous People (IP) are in somewhat lesser in significance, both historically and culturally compared to their colonist; the likes of British, Dutch, Portuguese, Spanish, heck basically every white men. Earlier days were the influx of Hindus Indians and later historically, the Chinese and for a variety of reasons too; political persecution to economical hardship.

Since then also, they have been push around, both politically and financially (well, not in that sense literally). Only a core group of IP actually benefited from these systems, usually but not predominately the Royals. Diplomacy and brute strength later; most of the (used to be) Elites ended up being just a figurehead in their territories. Not entirely their fault though, the Javanese did make life terribly difficult for the Dutch for a period of time before they are subdued. But arguably, most could not care less about their masses at large than with the preservation of their royal lifestyle. Why not, the colonists offer them protection, monthly salaries and stability. Which is much better than say thrashing their neighbors at the slightest provocation. In place, there is also this new thing call mediation. Ah New western concept, if only they are used more openly and appropriately.

That being said, there is this racially insensitive Army joke that goes like this

How to win the war in some part of the world?

Just throw them a football… enough said.

They cannot resist the temptation NOT to start kicking the ball in between bombardment. But hey, their lost is our gain. Or maybe we can just bomb them back to Stone Age? Well, we all know what that sentence leads to, don’t we?

Moving onto some pressing social issues, according to a ST report, the majority of single motherhood is by no coincidence the IP. Apparently they make up nearly half the numbers despite their minority status. Unlike other races where single moms are by choice, older, better educated and have the financial means to make it through, the IP are left to fence for themselves, receiving little support from either relatives (House?), friends (loan?) or for that matter, the government (Grant?).

While unlike the African Americans who overwhelmingly have this victimized mindsets, the IP got this somewhat equally baffling theory (to us at least) of “today got drink, today drunk” (ala 今朝有酒今朝醉). Not very financially prudent for obvious reason but work marvelously for the baby-booming. The report also cites the relationship between education and income. Which brings me to the point of having a Good Education; better financial and psychological independence. Besides, as cited, other racial female of the species will also try to provide their children similar if not better education.

This is indeed a double-edged sword perverse in a society where little help are dished out (despite numerous Humor-You campaigns). Personally I do not advocate handouts, least they only advance the plight of the some and not those who really need them. I am also a slight believer of eugenics however. I believe that if parents are better educated, chances are their children will be getting similar if not higher education. The IP however, unlike other racial brethren, do not place child’s education as top priority. One could argue that IP lower income as a reason forgoing educational needs but one lesser known policy here dictates that they have free education all the way to University (Boo!)

Indeed, the Policy is enforcing the main idea; better education means better and more stable source of income. The main thrust here is Education and following that rationale, I think the government should also make compulsory the Pre-primary education for everyone. Imagine if kids are unable to attend even kindergarden, that in itself a major source of discouragement when they struggle to catch up in primary school. Also, every other kid’s parents I know are making the extra push to make sure their offspring succeeded academically even in junior schools.

In every sense, people of the similar race tend to stick together, regardless of play or otherwise (in schooling that is) and following this logic, young IP do not see the point of progressing. In fact, they do not see themselves as awkward in the eyes of their contemporaries, precisely because everyone in their circle of friends is of the same situation. I have to reiterate, my article is not racially motivated or blasphemy, I am just pointing out the obvious, which depending on your inclination, are subtly being swept under the carpet. Society and the near individual family units have a part to play in ensuring their offspring can and will break away from their historical and emotional baggage of the old.

We already have policies in place for IP. As mentioned above, they received free (not subsidized like the rest of the citizens) education all the way to University through various charitable organizations. All they need to do is to make it through the super competitive educational structure. According to Statistics, that apparently is the hard part and our northern neighbors knew just that. But having allocation of resources (University places, Joint partnership ala Affirmative Action’s) are not helping IP in the increasingly globalised and competitive world. After 30 years, our neighbors should have known better; nothing much has changed. If any, IP are getting more reliant and dependence on their birthright. We have seen the tension mounting in recent times and that will not ease off anytime soon without great sacrifices. Moreover, experience in America and our immediate neighbour who introduced the practice in the 1970s suggests, it raises a host of other problems.

In practical terms, many "affirmative-action babies" fail in highly competitive environments (Bumiputra and Blacks). On a more philosophical note though, why should the children of rich Malays/Blacks be given a head start over the children of poor Chinese/Indians? The biggest problem with affirmative action, however, is that it comes too easy too late. Racial tension and equality aside, having such actions erode the very essence of nationalism. Despite best intents and efforts to integrate different races together, one tend to end up with their racial brethrens. It is what evolutionary theorists call functional product of natural selection. In essence, we love familiarity and continuation. Therein lies my skepticism; do away with the IPs’ free education. Let’s compete based on meritocracy alone.

Of course, logic dictates that once welfare are dished out, taking back will be both vote loser and regional suicide (wait other’s say we discriminate minority again). Fucker!

Moving on, we cannot exclude the role of parenting in these young kids, so it is really a never-ending cycle; Bring up the standard of the Malays so that they can be better off than their forebears and in time, the cycle will permeate better parenting (hopefully). But we got to start somewhere, somehow.

Awkwardly, these high birth rates somehow also reformed the mindsets of the Elites. I would link the cause of unequal racial birth to the necessity of foreign talents. I summed it once and for all the coffeeshop talk; Foreign talents are brought in to dilute the stranglehold of the IPs’ rising numbers has for the other races.

I feel that the best way to move forward into the future is to get rid of the tension generated from near sighted policies of the past and to give everybody a fair chance. Mediocre, Average Joe, down to the last man standing (that encompass just about 99% of the population), may the strongest survived. Never mind that some will become clerks while others are slave drivers. At least it is fair. That is why, for some strange reasons, I prefer homogenous state to a richly diverse nation.

But that is just me, a concerned citizen making my point in a democratic world. Oh don’t know much about the concept of democracy and citizenship? Watch this space!

THINK OF ME AND I WILL BE WITH YOU

1 January 2008
Windy Tuesday (27 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2200 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 灰姑娘 by 张惠妹
Mood: * Where is my 灰姑娘?*

I messaged 2 friends at the stroke of midnight. It was in the spur of the moment thingy and beside; I wanted so much to wish her a Wonderful New Year. It is a self preservation thing, not that it mean anything other than my wonderful “Procrastination theory”. And they messaged back (one replied after like 6 hours… I blame the telco). Their messages were pleasant and courteous, but it did not bring comfort or clarity to my mind and heart. I tried but alas, it all amount to nothing. I supposed it was all never meant to be…

又被伤了一遍 , 无所谓当作成长吧

For my sake, I should stop listening to those si bei凄凉, sing until constipation type of songs. But I like those songs; I could so much identify with them. It is like…like my feelings all pour out in guts and oh the pain, the heartaches… The reckoning oh yes, those painful moments!

I wish to see you again, I really do…

My sincerest apologies for having spear head the first entry of the year in such low spirits, I promise, I will be nicer in future

灰姑娘 by 张惠妹

听见别人提起你的名字, 我就会脸红
一张有你合照的照片, 看来看去都不厌倦

坐在寂寞了很久的窗前, 不停地想念
从没有对谁的支字片语, 可以读了好几百遍

像童话中的世界 , 如今出现在真实人生的眼前
再苦闷的时刻, 也有彩虹
哪怕只是轻靠你的肩

像传说中的爱情, 如今出现在真实人生的眼前
当你拥抱着我, 轻轻地对我说
你会爱我到永远

我就像Cinderella, 等到了寻找我的他
爱情的的过程 , 总会有泪有挣扎
有你的温柔, 我就什么都的不怕

我就像Cinderella, 等到了寻找我的他
等待你是我付出最甜蜜的代价
快乐的Cinderella
真爱得到了回答

Where are you, my beloved 灰姑娘?

于是我们照亮了沉默, 习惯了孤单, 才发现爱原来是寂寞™