Saturday, January 12, 2008

A PIG ORGASM LASTS 30 MIN (IN MY NEXT LIFE, I WANT TO BE A PIG)

12 January 2008
Windy Saturday (27 Degree Celsius)
Night@ 0010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 勇敢 by 张惠妹
Mood: *Give it up to COW!*

Well, Integration and assimilation got to wait. For now… cos I have bigger issues at stake. Like?

Until recently, I think my patience for humoring others is getting on the thin side. It is like everything they do, no do and even thought about doing will get on my nerve. These couple of months of nothingness has not done me any good, rather, it has turn my opinion against the world at large, particularly towards some cheebye friends.

Firstly, saw some cheebye blog entry and their English usage. From my months of reading (out of choice) I can only derive that some of the entries are copied wholesale (WITHOUT Citation, a Moral Sin) while others are straight from POOR ENGLISH foundation. Of course, we could give them the benefit of doubt but hey, even normal conversational English with me makes no sense, what are the odds that they can actually write anything sensible? Whatever retard things their minute brain can conjure out will be automatically put in writing, it is the nature of things. And if any, it is their cheebye fault for having such a small brain. Told them to read more, listen more and talk cheebyely less don’t listen lah. Now cannot even construct a sensible sentence. DAMN! No, Damnnnn

I am not saying mine is/are the best constructed English ever, but try lah. Government gives you education free somemore for cheebye 15 years and all you can ever come up with is some nonsensical entry and lagi worst, copy somemore. Might as well go fuck yourself. Hmm, on that note I think they are either doing it or are planning to do.

Some time people also have this disparity in their sense of reality and lala land. Someone once told me their job criteria; MORE PAY, Less stressful job, MORE responsibility, 8 to 5 job, near home, Job title SOUND Higher class, and family orientated. Basket, got such cheebye job, I also take lah, What are the odds? More pay and less work… Cow… Makes me wonder about their intelligence.

To rub in (all they want), those cheese pie have to keep asking me have I found a job, what have I been doing blah blah blah. Nabei, AS if I am planning my own demise like that and TO make it look like I ACTUALLY DID, people can even say, have you try this, try that. Try fucking the cows better! I can sense and feel a sarcasm from million of miles away; cheebye, asking me like out of humoring me and rubbing into my wound. Assuredly when the day does come, I shall personally drown them in warm beer and feed you to the lions. Trust me, the beer and the lions will do them real good.

Then have to encounter some cheebye friends who give all kind of excuses. Scare Wife scold lah, scare find out smoking, drinking and all sort of fucking retard excuses. In my view, they are just pussy, scare this scare that and still want to do it behind wife/gf back. Some are even more terok, everything also need to PRE BOOKED like 1 year in advance. I cannot understand what and how busy can a guy be. Ok, here’s my take, if you invite me to your wedding and if I tell you this:

Sorry, I will be fucking spider that day

It means you are in my little black book. Simple?

Speaking of intelligence, I just cannot stand friends’ lack of brains. SO HERE IS MY ANOTHER TAKE; be as smart if not smarter than me, then we talk and if I am not talking to you from now on, it’s you. Nothing personal, it is just the way nature has it all along; Survival of the fittest.

The Era of humoring the masses has ended. A New age has risen.

Oh well… enough of my cowpeh, Have fun

An American tourist goes on a sex trip to China without any precautions. A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his dick, covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see his doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in a two days, for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here”.

The man looks a little relieved and says "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up,"
The doctor answers "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."
The man screams in horror, "Oh no!
The doctors replies, "Well it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice."

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his dick, and proclaims "Ah yes, Monlolian VD. Velly lare lisease. "

The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, you dickhead, I already know that, but what can you do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid Amellican loctor! Always want to opulate. Make more money, that way. lo leed to opulate!"

"Oh thank God!" the man replies and try to leave without paying…

"Yes" says the Chinese doctor before guy closes the door,
"You lo worry! Stupid Amellican guy, Wait two weeky. Dick fall off by itself!"

1 comment:

Parrots of the Currybean said...

somebody step on ur toes today methinks ...