Monday, July 2, 2007

又被爱伤了一遍, 无所谓当作成长

2 July 2007
Clear Sunday (27 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2240 (Washington DC Time)
Listen: 我要快乐by 张惠妹
Mood: *Depressed*

This song reminds me of my holidays in Singapore recently. It brought back memories unique to that period of my life. So many songs remind me of distinctive memories, memories that are dear to me. What if I lose all of it? Would I still be the same bird?

And yes, so it seems, I am under a little depression now. It could be hormonal, situational and even psychological but those are not really important. Rather, nothing is at stake, just plain old depression.

I missed someone or something that I couldn’t put a name to it. That would be problematic if not for the fact that I couldn’t care less. Everything happened for a reason and we can only understand it on hindsight, which is why the saying goes; Hindsight is always 6/6.

It is not that I am under tremendous stress or workload but somehow, for some reason, I couldn’t find happiness in everything that I do, planning to do and even thinking about it. 3 years gone, like a passing shower, it brought neither clarity nor comfort to where I am now. I tried, of course, to be optimistic but still, here I am, without anything and starting over again. I dreaded everything that lies before me, I guess one thing I have learnt; I have nothing and no one to fall back to, it is just me against the whole wide world.

As much as I tried to reason and finding ways to justify my existence, I couldn’t. That is a shame and a tragedy on my part. Who can I blame but myself.

I am tired, I seriously am.

我要快乐 by 张惠妹

又被爱伤了一遍, 无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人, 烟还点着味道却淡了
我并不是天生爱寂寞, 却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我, 我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳,
有些人不抱了才温暖, 离开了才不恨我早应该割舍

我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的, 只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍, 谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人, 每种雨声听了都不冷
我并不是天生爱寂寞, 却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我, 我还是一无所有

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