I CAME TO A REALIZATION THAT NO ONE GIVES A HOOT

25 May 2010

Hot Hot Tuesday (34 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 他一定很爱你by 阿杜

Mood: *Damn”

Goodness, it is boiling hot lately. There is no coolness at all… all day and night, oh well

As usual, I have to complain about my work. My boss has becometh from bad to worst. He called in the HR manager to give us (or in his word, clarification) a talk about Off-in-lieu policies. You know what I think? He is ball-less. How can you ask HR can he give us off for this, or for that… If I’m HR Manager, of course I will cite the policies to bring my point across. Either he is gut-less to give us the leeway or he just want HR to let us know that we are basically being fucked.

How in the world has happened… It was ok in the begining, not that good, not that bad also. And now, we are being buang left right center, and all because of his ball-less-ness. Then there is Doreen. She request to be release 15min earlier on certain days, like once a week. Boss agrees. Then when his Fucked Up Secretary came to know of it, she cowpeh cowbu till everyone becometh a CB. Boss asked me to inquire from HR (yup, HR Policy again). Obviously, HR will just cite its stand based on policy, why should they bend the law just for one chap. BUT, HOD has the authority to give these leeways here and there. And yet, because he is scare shit, he wanted me to be the bearer of bad news to rescind his earlier approval. Fuck, there is no way I’m doing it. If he asks me why I no tell Doreen, I will say I busy. Which brings me to Internal Audit.

You know, after so much effort and pain, making sure every damn Quality-related information we had can pass with flying colors for the internal audit, I came to the realization that anything and everything is useless. Why? Because no one gives a damn. No one in the department, no one in the company gives a hoot. Only me, who kept worrying about how to gather all the necessary information for updates and then some more. This is truly a tragedy. Oh well, like I said, fuck it, I’m leaving.

Claire had a scare on Sunday morning. She was having a fever in the morning. So I rushed over to see her and then back for a quick shower (we decided to send her to pediatrician). After shower, the scares over, Claire fever has subsided. Oh well…. Later, I decided to visit the new Lifestyle center at Mt Faber SAFRA. Seems like damn cool like that, according to the newsletter, it is bigger and more stylo than the E-mart at Warrant officer club. So I drove 15 min to and 15 min back, paid 3 bucks for parking and all I got is a lousy T-shirt, wait, screw the T-shirt. It was not good at all. NO GOOD AT ALL. I think the Warrant Officer Club’s E-mart wins hand down…

And now how? My only joy and comfort is my little precious. My little Claire and Snoopy… Haiz…

他一定很爱你 by 阿杜

我躲在车里, 手握著香槟

想要给你, 生日的惊喜

你越走越近, 有两个声音

我措手不及, 只得楞在那里

我应该在车底, 不应该在车里

看到你们有多甜蜜

这样一来, 我也比较容易死心

给我离开的勇气

他一定很爱你, 也把我比下去

分手也只用了一分钟而已

他一定很爱你, 比我会讨好你

不会像我这样孩子气, 为难着你

HAPPY ONE MONTH OLD, MY LITTLE PRINCESS

15 May 2010

Dull Saturday (32 Degree Celsius)

Evening @ 1730 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 他一定很爱你by 阿杜

Mood: *Heee”

Today is Claire’s baby shower. It was a long & tiring morning till afternoon, with so many things to bring, many more things to bring back; gifts, presents, etc. On hindsight, I should have just bought the “SUV”. That way, I can throw everything into the car boot without a worry. Oh well…

We had the blessing of so many friends whom we held so dear to; secondary school friends, army friends, poly friends, working colleagues (whom shall be affectionately known as BBs; or bad buddies), and many many others. Thank you for the kindest generosity and for those that didn’t make it, its ok, you are eligible for parole much later in my little black book.

Work wise, not very good man. I mean the work itself is ok, slightly busy than usual, but all is good. Just a little bit (or make that damn) pissed that my boss belittled me… it goes like this:

One HOD send an email to my boss, inviting him and all the management staffs (like Woodstock) to an outdoor event and followed by a celebratory chill out. All these are official event, mind you. Then it happened… My boss invited all management staffs in the department and for some fuck reason, he actually carbon copy it to me (or Cc). As you know, logic states that those in Cc list are usually for… FOR FUCKING INFORMATION ONLY. And why is he sending me an invite or telling me there is such an invite (For Information only?) if he has no inclination to extend the invitation out to me?

Naturally, I was boiling mad, swearing vengeance. But one thing I learn in life; endure and seek greener pasture in silence. Nothing much to protest or make a big fuss over, really. Just smile and PRETEND nothing has and will happen. I could do a transfer but guessing his pettiness, I reckoned he would rather “resign me” than letting me do a transfer. It looks bad on his record and besides, people will question his ability to retain such a MIGHTY staff…

But you know what I think? Fuck it, I’m leaving.

Yup, too bad, it is your pettiness that nails it. My company is one of the best companies to work in, pay aside, the work is seriously Ok… Not that stressful, got wonderful colleague to talk cock and sing song. He always says he is a nice guy, that why he gave chances and turns a blind eye to some atrocities committed by his WONDERFUL Staffs. But I know his working style, he always divide the masses and conquer. Oh well, go forth and divide them, for I don’t give a shit anymore. Because?

Fuck it, I’m leaving

Yes, Literally.

But Claire Claire & Mummy… Don’t worry, Daddy will make sure, ensure and be sure that I will signed on the dotted line for the next job before I “fuck it, I’m leaving” the current one. I need to bring the bacon and bread home daily. I could eat a little less, go without the car or even my dinner/Lunch/Breakfast, but my Claire Claire & Mummy can’t. They shouldn’t and wouldn’t. As long as Daddy is around, you will not go hungry and cold. This is Daddy promises to you.

Oh yes, on the smoking note, I am smoke free for 5 months and counting. It was hard naturally, whoever say giving up smoking is easy ought to be shot. It is something so personal and intimate to me at least for I always smoke because I’m sad and I’m sad because I smoke. The sticks have accompanied me thru the many cold and lonely nights, thru many great trials and tribulation. So to give up my cigarettes is like giving up a part of me. The deeply scar, emotionally tragic, painfully lonely part of me. But still, it is for the better. My Claire shall grow up in a smoke free environment.

I love you so much, Mummy & Claire Claire. Be strong

THE DAY I GOT SCREWED BY NATURE

9 May 2010

Cool Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)

Late Evening @ 1930 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: *Boo hoo”

This has been a sucky week. Yes, it is, no doubt about it. Firstly, I was insomnia on Tuesday night, the whole damn night I was practically lying on bed looking at the sky (or if you prefer… ceiling…). As obvious, I was very very tired the entire Wednesday and guess what? I was invited (as a gap filler) to AVA 10th Anniversary Dinner at Shangri la. Wau liew eh, I practically on steroid for 36 hours continuously and still must go for some stupid dinner… And when I thought it couldn’t be much worse… I sat next to my Chief Executive. No choice lah, I small talk with him the entire night. By 11pm, all humans practically emptied the hall and guess what, he actually ordered a 3rd bottle of red. And since he is the chief, no one dare to leave early, which is sad, cos I am that close of being zombiefied. Finally at 1130pm, we left for home…

Reach home, shower and slept less than 4 hours before I left for work at 4am again. Why? Because I have to bring home the bacon for Claire and mummy. I joke, I joke… I was on duty and hence, you know, the works… And to cap my week of shag-ness, I was down with a severe allergy on Thursday morning onwards and was sneezing my life away. And guess what, I actually ran out of my usual antihistamine… so in between clamoring for whatever life I left, I decided that it is for the better that I go seek solace at the pharmacy. So I left for lunch early, hoping to buy some antihistamine and OH MY STAR STAR, the pharmacist only arrive 1pm!! That’s like 1 hour away! And the staffs refused (rightly also lah) to dispense the drugs (cos it’s like illegal…). In between sneezes and more sneezes, I’m really surprise I didn’t die…

Went home, pop a powerful pill and slept for 12 hours straight.

Really, I am surprise and rather pleasantly, I didn’t die from all the lack of sleep and allergies. Body only a little tired from all the sneezing and well, I live to fight another day.

And when I thought I couldn’t go anywhere south-er, it was screwed by nature. Yes, today I went to work at 3am, slog my guts till 8am, Somehow along the way, I decided that, hmm, my spare clothes and towel needs some washing, so I conveniently brought them home for washing. I returned to office in the afternoon again and woah, it started raining. And by Star Star, it really fucking rain like cats and dogs fucking around. One thing I learn; you don’t fuck with nature. I was drenched to my underwear while doing what I was supposed to do and YES, you guess it, my spare clothes are sitting at home, enjoying the warmth and comfort while me, yours truly have to make do with paper towel, wet wet underwear and clothes. Oh well, that’s life.

Moving on, because of my hectic week and poor health, I missed seeing my daughter and mummy for 3 consecutive days. And when I do see her on Friday, oh boy, did she grow! Somehow, for some unexplained reasons, I thought she looks bigger, brighter and prettier haha… Ok, now you know…

Its mother’s day today…fwah, its Mother’s Day!

Happy Mummy’s Day, Mummy and My Mummy (you know, my mother...).

Claire Claire, be good and sleep tight. Daddy will kill all the bed bugs. Mummy sleep tight too. Woodstock miss miss Snoopy and Claire Claire

Good Night and sweetest dreams

A GOOD FRIEND WILL COME AND BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL, A TRUE FRIEND WILL BE SITTING NEXT TO YOU SAYING “DAMN, WE ARE FUCKED…”

2 Mayl 2010

Cool Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)

Late Morning @ 1000 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: "Smile… ok, I lied"

I am always amazed and impressed by people of learned and charisma. Though I have far and few intellectual spars, I always loved a good conversation that does not consist of materialistic gains and capitalist pillage. Anyway, I guess these exchanges will have to wait (till it arises from the ash, yes, just like the Phoenix). There is a reason why 99.9% of the population only talk cock and sing song, just imagine, if every fucker talk like some economics/geo-spatial/political analyst, how ol’ boring can that be… Seriously, how interesting can “Let’s hold hands and save Africa be”…

You know, by including something so insignificant like “Essentially” to a sentence, you make it instantaneously significant.

The Property market will go up and go down…

Compare to : Essentially, the property market will go up and down…

Wanted to use vis-à-vis instead of compare to (oh yes, now I speaks French) but then, why?

Yes, the WHY. Essentially, everything we do, intend to do and have done revolve around the mighty why… Why this, why that, why ask? And the evergreen Why Bother…

Even looking at the Songs I enjoyed these days makes me old and useless. I have wasted 30 years of my life and I don’t even know would I have another 30 to make an impact on my life and of others. I want and love money (who Don’t) and I wish to have a better materialistic life, for myself and family. All I need is that God-given opportunity (Sorry God, blasphemy again). And I promised I shan’t screw it up. In my previous post, I noted the importance of my strength in Intellectual insights, administrative efficiency and the good ol’ Roll-up-my-sleeves and just do it. But then, to what ends… I am always cast as another Good, highly intelligent worker then later pass over for promotion. Is it sometime that I did not do? If so, what? Oh well, should have just stick to being a mediocre clerk and not give myself so much heartache. Because at the end of the day, what I would like to achieve and excel?

Oh on that screw note, you know we are classified as a screw worm infested country? Yup, don’t ask me why, maybe some lazy US health officials just convenient cluster us up with other less-developed Countries. In any case, I’m not surprise, 99.9% of them don’t even know where Singapore is, let alone even see how fucking metropolitan we are. In my 3 years in US, of all the people I met, some 50% have never traveled out of their countries (by choice or lack of it), 25% cannot pinpoint the location (or heard of Singapore, other than China, but I digress) and some 24% of the remnants lack the expertise and knowledge understanding life (other than the American way). You be amazed to know that only a mere 1% of their population (like 1 million of them) actually spurs their economy toward First World Leadership. But hor, after the Banking crisis, think half of those are either lurched, in prison or somewhere in Caribbean’s)… So how, US is fucked.

I just loved to see and talk to my little princess; how peaceful she sleeps, how much she response to our conversation, many a times, just watching over her. Yup, Claire Claire, like daddy says, God will send his Angels to watch over you when Daddy & Mummy are away (even for the briefest period). Don’t be afraid, be strong and we will be right back with you. I am guessing during her first day of Infant Care, it will be Mummy whom I shall have to comfort, rather than Claire.

Claire, Mummy & Daddy love you ever so much.

It’s my buddy birthday come 4th May. Dude, Happy Birthday and May we be rich and powerful. Well, at least we tried, never mind the efforts and results.