Tuesday, May 13, 2008

IT IS BETTER TO LOVE AND LOST THAN TO LIVE WITH A PSYCHO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

13 May 2008
Tuesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 忐忑 by 辛晓琪
Mood: *Wintersweet, Me like*

Sure I have my fair share of hits and misses (statistically skew to the later) and oh boy, Did I miss by more than a mile. Sure they are (mostly) nice girls and some not so very nice, but they are cute… that’s all that matters. While walking home and by passing this coffee shop, I had a sudden revelation (ya, these days a lot of sighting).

I was looking at the coffee shop beer drinkers and by a large margin, most are the blue collar type, which is fine and very stereotypical but why are they with significantly prettier counterparts (discounting the taste, dressing and the fact that they are together). I am not a sour grape lah, I mean…after living a couple of decades on planet earth, I can safely eliminate some of the variables that enables me to be alone … like for instance

1. I am not fugly. Seriously, which part of me says I am fugly?
2. I am relatively fit. Enough said
3. I am comfortably earning a relatively decent salary and a modestly prospect-filled job.
4. I am intellectually-enabled kind of guy (as opposed to being challenged)

So why I am desperately lonely (to quote)…?

That brings us to point number two

Tacking onto my current status, by whatever virtue, I should never been alone… Which means the whole shebang doesn’t quite qualify my loneliness assessment… The best part is, I am not fugly. Yes, What the fuck right! Not as if I am poor, low education, poor job prospect or fucking ugly… but really…

I could technically do a self praising blog, with every “TOM has a DICK but not all dicks are HARRY (hairy)” kind of stuffs, all in the name of self glorification. But hey, you know what self admiration would lead to… cos self praising is like masturbation. You feel good initially but in the end, you are just fucking yourself. Damn it…

The only lining in the sky? Yun asked for my buggy.

As I am out of my private one, You should have seen the number of calls I made, how many favors I call in, just so she can ride in comfort… And in the end, all I get is a lousy coffee, which I so happen to abso-fucking-lutely don’t drink like ever… Sometime it just goes to cheapen my already cheapened Life. Oh well, Fuck it… Today got beer, today drunk. But really… How the fuck can these sorts of things ever happened… B.E.A.Utiful



忐忑 by 辛晓琪

我已经忘记, 爱情的滋味
我已经忘记, 青春如此的昂贵
以为心思已如止水, 以为孤单早已无谓
却见你意外的在眼前

我试着拒绝, 你给的世界
我试着拒绝 ,会有开始的情节
然而心却和我相背, 爱有它自己的感觉
再一次 走回了爱情 ,是怎样的危险

我忐忑的心 ,我忐忑的心 ,起落得不能停
忽而忧, 忽而喜, 对于爱情原来我不曾免疫
我忐忑的心, 我忐忑的心, 辗转的不能眠
忽而醉, 忽而醒, 这样的陌生的自己, 是我熟悉的曾经

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