MY OH MY, THOSE BOOBS LOOK HEAVY, MAY I HOLD THEM FOR YOU?

28 April 2008
Monday (32 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2210 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我要快乐By 张惠妹
Mood: *Still Floating…*

Speaking of coincidence…

I was waiting for Mark to go home together (now that I mentioned it, it does sound kind of gay…Damn) and he was bloody late for the longest time… reach MRT and actually allowed one train to go by, Just SO we can catch the next emptier one… Decided also to walk to the other end of the train station, Just SO it is less congested…

Then saw you...

For a moment, I nearly wanted to pull a fast one and walk off but alas, Bird is weak, Bird is nice, make that Bird is super nice so I gestured a friendly wave. We chat for a while, the usual pleasantries and move along. On hindsight, I could have stayed on and chat for the rest of the journey but alas, to what point...

Oh yes, since we are on the topic of moving on, I have decided and consciously made a choice to sign up for SDU. Yup, after much persuasion from Mark and hearing how interesting it is with Seow, (both buggers haha…), I am giving it a try. Hey, I have not lost any hope in womenfolk’s, so don’t write me off just yet.

Oh well, while I’m at it, I have also added twitter in my blog. Woohoo, check it out… I am so going to update every fuck thing I can conjure up at the spur of the moment… haha. That is of course I don’t died from heartbroken-ness. You see, as much as we allow ourselves to believe, life is never fair. Whatever that supposed to mean… so my dearest friends and fellow dwellers on earth, make hay while the sun still fucking shine… You should know it better, it ain’t going to last.

So how now? That is why I smoke… Better for sanity…



我要快乐By 张惠妹

又被爱伤了一遍, 无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人, 烟还点着味道却淡了

我并不是天生爱寂寞, 却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我, 我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖, 离开了才不恨我早应该割舍

我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的, 只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍, 谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人, 每种雨声听了都不冷

我并不是天生爱寂寞, 却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我, 我还是一无所有

每天早晨对我微笑著的你

27 April 2008
Sunday (34 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 新不了情 by 万芳
Mood: *Floating in and around*

Today finally made it to Sunrise Event. Didn’t sleep too well last night though, only managed (at best) a 2 hours dozing (hardly) time. To make matter worst, I kept dreaming I was late for the sunrise event and all the unnecessary obstacles. Oh well, 3am alarm rang, off to shower, grabbed the car and all the way to Kweky’s place. Lucky he was on time… Went to a very early breakfast at 4.30am and by the time we finished, it haven’t even near 5am. Decided to go West Coast Macdonald for Tea and Coffee fix, idle here and there and reach Mount Faber at 6.15am.

Did I mention 2 geniuses against all odds and conventions, discard all fucking logic and actually embark on a dead end trip to watch Sunrise on the southern tip of Singapore? And at the southern side of Mt Faber somemore… Brilliant eh? Ok, so the First Ray sort of came by at 6.30am. But alas, all the wonders of Mother Nature were blocked by fricking big trees in and around the viewing platform. Double whammy but hey, that’s life. We managed to grab some photos though (which will be posted in time to come or when Kweky feels like sending them over to me, whichever is earlier) while I am enjoying a good smoke break. I love smoking in the morning, but that’s another story…

I always love a good old morning time; it is like a new beginning, a new start to everything. I am by nature not an optimistic creature but hey, every bird has its day, ya? Err, anyway, I still love morning, despite every fuck things that has somehow found their association with it (like my Ex. GF departure long long time ago). Still, life goes on. Indeed, pleasures are abundance for those who treasure that very moment in time. Somehow, bullshitting with my eyes wide open never felt this good. Damn it…

Went to my afternoon run again, to de-stress; wasting all my energy away, numbing my pain in the process. It was a ridiculously hot day this afternoon, I nearly died cock standing but alas, it was never meant to be that way. So I survive, live for another day just so that I could have that long shot at meeting you. I feel so alive, knowing that I can see you again tomorrow and the day after, for as long as it could be. But to what purpose… When you are not even real...

Still, I hope to see you in my dreams, even for that briefest moment, it is a life worth living for… Even if there is no one in it...



新不了情 by 万芳

心若倦了泪也干了, 这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老, 已不见你暮暮与朝朝

这一份情永远难了, 愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何死守到老, 怎样面对一切我不知道

回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了, 为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

I WISH THIS DAY COULD HAVE LASTED LONGER… BUT NO… FOR MY SAKE, NO…

26 April 2008
Saturday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 他没有错 by 范玮琪
Mood: *Nothingness is but a Feeling*

I don’t wish last night could have last any longer than it needed to. Maybe just for the time we were actually chatting but no, it has to stop. I have to stop, for posterity.

Ok, that’s a lame excuse to show how pathetically affected I am. Actually it was a no brainer; I didn’t even start anything, why would I be sad? The things I do to mask my sadness… But then, Kian Kian has a point; Who cares, Just Do it. That is why also, she and me are best of friends muahaha.

Speaking of which, it has been ages since I last partied. Hmm, this Friday looks good with Kian Kian back from her flight but Han will be… OUT for holidays!! Argh! How fun can it be without 2 of my best friends!! Just feel like wasting my life away, easier for the heart too.

So beside those heart wrenching moments this week, what’s been up, man?

Same work, different day. Last Thursday one of my admin assistant created a minor stir when she turns up to work in this mini skirt. Ok, I wasn’t at all affected cos she is like 5 years my senior and besides, she is already a mother of 3. Mostly because for some weird wiring in my head, I am not attracted to her AT ALL. I’m serious!

I mean I do like anything that moves but now… Anyway, she was like the topic of discussion that day. Oh well… I can’t stop them from wearing anything and besides, I can’t be bothered. As long as it doesn’t affect my department performance, you can literally do anything you want.

That is the nature of things. If not, it is the usual sleep, work, smoke, drink, get drunk, romp and the cycle continues for as long as I can remember.

Oh yes, tomorrow again planning to go to Sunrise event with Kweky. Wish us luck, Blue Skies!

他没有错 by 范玮琪

就这样放了彼此的手, 究竟是尽头还是个出口
只是我还记得, 她每一次抚摸
只是我还熟悉, 她每一个轮廓

不知道从此要难过多久, 我相信一定和孤独一样久
原来天长地久 是形容一种痛 这样的有始有终
换来怎样的海阔天空

她没有错, 只是没有爱我很久
她没有错, 是我飞蛾扑火
我求一个经过不妄想一个结果, 她没有错
她没有错, 只是没有为我停留
她没有错, 是爱的不是时候
她没有错, 只是没有陪我到最后

爱都爱了

26 April 2008
Saturday (27 Degree Celsius)
Damn Early In the Morning @ 0110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: I know I love you by Savage Garden
Mood: *Nothingness is also a Feeling*

Life is tough... too bad for me



I know I love you by Savage Garden

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than
A little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
A little crazy but I believe

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you

A MAN NEEDS LOVE, IF NO LOVE, GIVE HIM HOPE, IF NO HOPE, THEN AT LEAST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO DO

24 April 2008
Thursday (26 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 走在红毯那一天 by 彭佳慧
Mood: *The Pain of Nothingness*

又被伤了一遍 , 无所谓当作成长吧

Yes, it is those kind of feelings that besieged me now…

I am just tired. Fucking tired…

Having to start all over again and having to go through all the shit over again… it is like a fucking pest, and it just wouldn't DIE… It JUST WOULDN'T FUCKING DIE!!

I am fucking tired, I couldn't care any less… Just want to live and die in peace, which might encompass loneliness and being abandoned. But of course…

Tonight, I just want to get drunk, smoke like a chimney, fuck around and sleep… tomorrow will be another fucking day… No one will ever miss my presence, would they?

于是我们照亮了沉默, 习惯了孤单, 才发现爱原来是寂寞™

我们之间的事 by 范玮琪

我们说著报纸上的事，我们说著邻居发生的瑣碎的事
Oh…从来不说，从来就不说，从不说我们之间的事

我们说著朋友们的事，我们说著電视里说的发生的事
Oh…从来不说，从来就不说，从不说我们之间的事

在多数的日子，我们都不够懂事，彷彿爱是挥霍不完的数字
应该天真的日子，我们又太过懂事
Oh…在离別时，在离別时才看见我们该留住的故事

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU

22 April 2008
Tuesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Mood: *ARGGGHHH …*

I waited and waited and still there is no end in sight

I hated this fucking waiting time, it seems like bad dreams, kept repeating itself over and over again. Why do I subject myself to such a torture? Why DID I even fucking try!!

Wouldn't it better if everything just stays status quo
What is so wrong with being alone...?
What is so wrong?

I tell you what is wrong! My HEART! MY LONELY FUCKING HEART

I have said this many times; I will do anything, ANYTHING to make damn sure my heart is not lonely... AT the expense of whoever is near me...

You can call me a bastard, a jerk, anything you want. But when My heart, my fucking heart is happy, even for that mere minutes, mere seconds, I am HAPPY and that is ALL that matters... Who cares about hurting others... I don't, do you?

I like this falling in love thingy
It's like adrenaline; the pain is such a sudden rush for me
You don't know what it was like for people like me living my life, do you?

ALL I wanted is a stupid email from you
ALL I EVER wanted is a reply from you

My tea's gone cold I wonder why I..
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad..

I just want to fucking kill you

But of course, you never will know, would you?

That is the nature of things…

SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY… SOMETIME SAME DAY TOO

20 April 2008
Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Hot Evening @ 1810 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Mood: *duh …*

Had some trouble sleeping these days. Don’t know why… Maybe fuck around too much… Maybe NOT fucking around, whatever it is, I can’t really sleep well. Oh fuck

I noticed I haven’t been updating since like a week ago but hey, I was a little busy. Tsk tsk, that’s life. Anyway, what’s been up man, how’s life?

See, the effect of Insomnia is eating into my sanity and concentration. Can’t really focus on anything. Ok, that’s all folks

Have fun and be safe



Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could breakaway

I spread my wings and I learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on an airplane, far away (I will pray)
And breakaway

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, SERIOUSLY

15 April 2008
Tuesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Cool Night @ 2110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 世界唯一的你 by 曹格
Mood: *Its Horsie, oh cow…*

Really, the things some cheebye do, really damn Cheebye (see, it rhythms). Of course, that does not encompass fucktard, cos if that’s the case, write until the cow procreate turn to oil also still writing.

First stop, today broke record, I actually fucked 2 humans! One is my colleague. You see, I told him to do something really fucking urgent. He took his own sweet time never mind, still gave me the blur fuck look when I tell him what to do. Somemore still dare to tell me (of the list I gave him) that this one not he do, that one he never do it before… Nabei, you tell me, kena fuck is his fault totally, right?

Then when I was running around monkeying (these days things just come so suddenly), I was questioned by one computer technician. I don’t take questioning very well and he still trying to be kuai lan with me… Nabei, kena another fucking session, jialat jialat. Told him; beg, steal, rob or borrow I don’t care, when I say I want a printer, he better fucking give me one before the day ends.

Tell them all not to bother me when I am monkeying around they thought I tell jokes, make them laugh and all jolly are well. Now whole office just shut the fuck up and quietly does their work. Happy lah, witness 2 people kena fuck today.

Then come cheebye Ex-company. Apparently they gave the wrong return to IRAS and IRAS happily starts deducting from my bank account all the income taxes owed to them. What fucking pissed me off (beside wrong input from Cheebye Company) is that no wonder all Singaporean need to have local bank account for salary payment. So that all you fucking losers’ salaries can be track and if need be, deducted without your authorization and consent. IRAS just deduct my money monthly and I didn’t even keep track of it. Suddenly today got the GST package letter and guess what, they gave me none! NO MONEY! Cos they say I earn more than 100K a year…100k a year!!! Not 10k or 1k, 100K!!! so IRAS reasoned that why the FUCK would I need a couple of hundreds?

Tell me, you cheebye IRAS, if I earn 100k a year, what the fuck am I doing slogging my guts off at work? I might as well live it up and paint the town red every night!!

Oh well, let’s see how to solve the mess that some fuckers have left for me. Meanwhile, I can only drink to drown my sorrow… I wish, I wish… in my lifetime, I could perhaps have the opportunity to sing世界唯一的你 to the love of my life… Just Once… but alas… it is but a dream. For now, I just have to live the day as it is; keeping up my lungs burning and drowning my liver.

Don’t you wish to fall in love too? Don’t you want to be loved? Don’t you?

问 by 梁静茹

谁让你心动, 谁让你心痛
谁会让你偶尔想要拥他在怀中

谁又在乎你的梦, 谁说你的心思他会懂
谁为你感动

如果女人总是等到夜深
无悔付出青春, 他就会对你真

是否女人永远不要多问
他最好永远天真, 为她所爱的人

只是女人容易一往情深
总是为情所困, 终于越陷越深

可是女人爱是她的灵魂
她可以奉献一生, 为她所爱的人

世界唯一的你

13 April 2008
Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
Cloudy Night @ 2210 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 世界唯一的你 by 曹格
Mood: *Its Horsie, who else*

Well, I did not proceed to the sun rise event. I did however wake up at 4am when the alarm goes off. I went for toilet, pee-ed and took a smoke break while enjoying the early morning air. After like 10 min, I decided to sleep in. For obvious reasons…

One, I don’t have camera to capture that Kodak moment, then I don’t really have that Kodak moment to catch (catch with who? My cigarettes?). Lastly, morning run at 8am seems like a more sensible idea, albeit less excitement. Oh well…

Wouldn’t it be nice sometime, that we can all living in fantasy? Ah but why? What can be so wrong with reality? Well, I guess there is nothing quite wrong with reality, as much as my own doing.

Oh yes, saw this Taiwanese show with曹格和麻衣. Apparently it is some celebrity pairing show and it seems Mr 曹, 艳福不浅 wor… here is the excerpt I stun from the web:

曹格和麻衣是在一个节目中的配对单元相识的。 节目当中,被曹格动人歌声和大胆表白而深深感动的麻衣,害羞地答应了曹格的 "配对请求",并带着节目摄制组一起,展开了两人甜蜜的一日约会…

It is damn sweet lor… Seriously… hopefully they are still together (that being Nov 06 news)…

Where are you my 麻衣? If only you have a name… if only



世界唯一的你 by 曹格

是你 , 一眼我就认出来
这是命运最美丽的安排

是爱, 让你掠过漫长等待
我们只要现在相爱, 幸福就来

恨我来不及参与你的过去, 抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换, 我灵魂的另一半

这个世界唯一的你, 是我拥有的奇迹
对我说的一字一句, 都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你, 无可救药的坚定
就算世界与我为敌, 我也愿意 我什么都愿意

过去所有的悲哀, 都只是训练我为你勇敢
真爱照亮了漆黑的夜晚, 寻找了彼此一辈子, 才不分开

恨我来不及参与你的过去, 抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换, 我灵魂的另一半

I will climb the highest mountain, I will swim the deepest sea

对我说的一字一句, 都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你, 无可救药的坚定
就算世界与我为敌, 我也愿意 我什么都愿意

爱就象一种解不开的魔咒, 呜~~~
我愿意付出一切交换, 我灵魂的另一半

HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE? I MEAN, ITS JUST POKE POKE, SEE SEE RIGHT?

12 April 2008
Saturday (28 Degree Celsius)
Cloudy Night @ 1910 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Sometime when we touched by Rod Stewart
Mood: *Are those Your Eyes, Horsie?*

So bird, what’s been up man? Well dookie, nothing much actually…

Last morning woke up slightly later. Then cheebye Lift also take ages to crawl up and by the time I reach ground floor, it began to rain. You know the saying it never rain in Singapore, it pours. Yup, lucky I ran fast… braving the cold wet winds all the way to MRT station, in between shelter or otherwise. MRT also one kind, move like tortoise like that, I think because of the rain; water makes the MRT retarded, I know of some people like that too, but that one another day then say.

After 4 hours of wayanging, I went for my off day. Reach home, look at sky, sky look at me, then decided to take a 3 hour nap. Woke up, goggy but still have to go Cityhall for Grayze’s birthday get together. Met up with Chris first, then go restaurant wait. Then Grayze called, I told her the place and say the rest of girls not coming. She say ok, then 2 min later, sms me say she turning back. I thought she joking, so call her to scold her cheekily. Turn out she isn’t. I nearly vomit blood but digressed. I so big, never in my life kena such a situation. Lucky got Chris, imagine if no friends turn up and only me left waiting for her, then I will be a little bit upset. But still, damn cheebye can?

Anyway, I was up at 7am this morning for another karaoke session with Nyo & Elvan. The lounge is ready after some external renovation and so are we. That pretty much summed up my week. In case you wonder, I tried singlish earlier, hope it convey the idea across.

Oh yes, tomorrow morning at 5am, I will be at either Sentosa; southern-est point in the Malayan Archipelago or at Mount Faber, witnessing the sun rise. Wish me luck that

1. There is actually a sun rising
2. It is not raining/cloudy/fuckup weather
3. Let there be a sun rise… I mean how fucking hard can that be?

Well, life’s too short to wonder what if. So… Just fucking Do it…

Sometime when we touched by Rod Stewart

You ask me if I love you and I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you in what you say or do
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all it's strategy leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth

At times I'd like to break you and drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you and I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you and I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters still searching for a friend, a brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

WOULD YOU DO HER?

9 April 2008
Wednesday (31 Degree Celsius)
Cloudy Night @ 2200 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 背叛 by曹格
Mood: *Cow & Horsie, Horsie & Cow*

These days… tsk tsk, my karaoke buddy kept asking a rather disturbing question while singing Karaoke; Would I do her? Of course, her refers to most of the MTV girls… Interestingly, most are also the usual sweet things though some are of MILF quality. To set the record straight and in a heartbeat, I like Sweet Young Things, but alas, some things are better left unsaid, lest I get into legal problems. Oh well…

Speaking of MILF, I witness (much to my pleasant surprise) my pretty HR manager in a sort of panty upskirt situation. Ya, sort of… You see, she was seated cross legged in from of me, talking and laughing away while I was standing. Time to go, and she conveniently uncrosses her leg, flashing her undies in my full view, ala Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas. I did the most gentlemanly thing; I turned away. You see, bird has evolved. I am a much higher being nowadays, and how would I know?

I didn’t fucking nose bleed to death in her pressence, did I?

Moving on

I would love to fall in love with you.

I would love to see your smile.
I love everything about you, if only you are not a fragment of my imagination.

Guess I am losing my sense of reality.

If I knew I am dying, would I do anything different? Perhaps not, perhaps so… who would have known.

背叛 by 曹格

雨, 不停落下来
花, 怎麼都不开
尽管我细心灌溉, 你说不爱就不爱 我一个人, 欣赏悲哀

爱, 只剩下无奈 我, 一直不愿再去猜
钢琴上黑键之间, 永远都夹著空白, 缺了一块就不精采

紧紧相依的心如何Say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢, 我用背叛自己, 完成你的期盼

把手放开不问一句 Say goodbye
当作最後一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今後都不管, 只要你能愉快

心, 有一句感慨
我, 还能够跟谁对白
在你关上门之前, 替我再回头看看, 那些片段 还在不在

AFTER ALL THE WIND WIND RAIN RAIN, I AM STILL HERE FOR YOU

5 April 2008
Saturday (31 Degree Celsius)
Clear Night @ 2050 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我的心好乱 by 赵传
Mood: *Cow & Horsie Singing Karaoke*

Today had one misadventure.

It started quite well actually, bright and sunny Saturday; it was our fortnight karaoke session. But being Saturday, the city area (at least) will be packed with students on compulsory charitable work; ala Singapore style. They are given a donation can/carrier for your spare change to make that difference to the less fortunate. So as much as possible I will donate some spare change for a good cause. Usually the organizer will issue a sticker (with their logo) for every donation, supposedly a passport to lesser harassment down the long shopping belt filled with these students. Today without fail, I decided to drop some spare change (Even when I am dirt poor) to this Aunty on duty. She was nice lah, smiling and wishing me a good day but then, she did the unthinkable; she actually tore one sticker out and put it on my arm, Flat!

That the start of my problem, you see these stickers are laced with super poor quality yet come with the strongest suction glue. It is there for a purpose; to bind itself damn strongly to the wearer’s clothes. But now, it is on my skin with the glue binding so nicely and strongly with my arm’s hair.

Yes, I did not have an easy time removing it, nor a pleasant/painless one. Damn Lan Lan!

With so much of complain, now back to the summary of Bird’s life highlights for the week…

Actually I don’t exactly remember much of the happening; it is like one of those forgettable weeks. Nevertheless, these last-minute-work curses seem to like me a lot. For a good whole of week, last minute arrows just flew my way. Damn it!

Moving along, I figure I should start getting healthier, stronger and fitter. I got to pass my IPPT, get conditioned for my Army Half Marathon and maybe, just maybe the year end marathon. For now, just keep my finger crossed. It has been like 4 years since I last ran so far and long. I’m no longer a spring chicken, wait anyhow over exert myself and collapse how? Who to be blamed? Lan Lan again, right?

Wish me luck to a fitter, stronger, and healthier bird. Oh yes, decided to smoke again. And for my detractors, hold your criticism. I figure, if I don’t smoke, life will be too boring even to begin with. So how? Philosophy changed to: Today got Beer, Cigarette, women, then today get drunk, liver drown, lungs burned and dick happy. Haha… Life is more beautiful that way.

我的心好乱 by 赵传

当爱情由浓转淡, 再说什么已太晚
不管心里多遗憾, 让你离开别阻搁

若是爱让你有负担, 说明白吧别隐瞒
你心不在了怎么办, 何不就在这里散

当爱已不在温暖, 它只是牵泮
又何苦让它再纠缠
哦!再纠缠

天空为何那么暗
爱情为何那么难
谁能告诉我答案
现在我的心好乱

AH YOU NOTICE IT TOO… THAT’S FUCKING NICE, NOW SEE HOW YOU FUCKED IT UP

1 April 2008
Tuesday (27 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 亲爱的, 那不是爱情 by 张韶涵
Mood: *Cow & Horsie gone Horsing around*

Went Jogging just now… Too frustrated over my life and everything else… So with so much energy impounded, what can be a better way than to waste it all (health center, Geylang, etc) haha. But alas, Bird may be single but he is not that desperate (yet). Jogging is an easier and much healthier option. Not to say sex is bad but we will come to that later. Then it started raining. Its ok, I am pretty used to such shit already. Well, if you are in my shoes, then life’s tough…

By now, you would have learnt the exponential increased in food, daily necessities, shampoo… heck everything. These prices will definitely affect the supply for the next few months/years and how prices are always expected to increase. When contacted, Governments everywhere have assured us that they are already planning for alternative sources and, for now, just shut the fuck up, seriously.

However, laws of supply and demand make it rather clear that we should expect everything to cost more in the coming months. And since we are in the topic of sex, we shall take a look at two alternatives to condom…

Do you want to live forever?

As you may have guessed, this is the dangerous option which should be attempted only by the very brave or very foolish. How to know which group you fall under? Well, unless you are a trained chemist or feel that you have 1 dick too many, you'll probably fall into the latter group.

Unless you are looking at made-in-moon condom, chances are, most condoms are really just well, rubber, or latex. Hence, it can be easily molded and stretched to match any sizes (given its elasticity).

Sourcing for latex on the Internet is easy. From where I am, I can just cross the straits, tapped on some trees and Bingo, RAW ingredient for Condoms. Knowing the correct rubber compounds however, is a little harder. But we will come to that…

After mixing all the components, now is the time to pray for two miracles.

One, that the first wearing attempt doesn't result in an explosion or fire or rash or China VD (from my earlier Blog ala Dick-drop-off fame).

Two, though technically you may be able to get the correct composition and having end result that look vaguely similar to a condom. Remember this, there is a reason why Durex, founded in 1929 and it is still in business after so long whereas You, the brave one, have just like discover 1 min ago that you can actually make a condom (sort of)…

Yes, I believe life is beautiful and valuable

A much safer and sane option is to purchase a carton, for those rainy days. These can come in various sizes and capacities and heck, who knows, you might get a bulk discount.

The trick, however, is trying to determine if they have a tip for you (I know, bad pun). If your prefer your condom from big-name player, chances are it should be compatible. Otherwise, you will have to test it out personally before putting your money down. The best part about this method is you can use your entire condoms in the name of cost saving while finding the real McCoy.

Works for me… Happy April Fools Day!

雨, 不停落下来
花, 怎麼都不开
尽管我细心灌溉, 你说不爱就不爱, 我一个人 欣赏悲哀

要多少缘分才有可能, 要多认真才能爱我?