COGITO ERGO SUM *I THINK, THEREFORE I AM*

30 November 2007
Windy Friday (27 Degree Celsius)
Night Just Started @ 2000 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛 (Yup, still again)
Mood: *Cough Cough*

Right, now that we got the obvious out of the way… Went for a jog last afternoon. Man, I think I am having serious problem… My strain thigh muscle has yet to recover and my arms still feel a little unstable for me to hit the gym. Drats… All old age problems… Cheebye

So what did I do today? Nothing much… I did not even send an SMS to her. Ah Surprise Surprise… Hmm, why didn’t I? For no particular reasons I suppose… What’s there to send anyway. Oh ok… hmmm, whatever…

Can I take her away from my conscious? Of course… No sweat. You know me, I hardly be addicted/attached to anything for a time longer than necessary. It is a curse as well as blessing, the pain of having live through my life in such a tragedy, Like this joke…

Bird: Doc, I want to live to 100 years old
Doc: ok, so do you smoke?
Bird: No
Doc: Have casual sex? Gamble? Eat a lot? Drive fast car?
Bird: No… No… No…
Doc: Then why do you want to live to 100 for?

And due to the conservative nature of this country and that I have another zillion of days to retirement, the original jokes were deemed too risqué and therefore replaced by an alternative politically correct one…

Bird: I have 2 Cookies
Han: I have none
Bird: I will share my cookies
Han: Thank You
Bird: We both have cookie
Han: You are my best friend

Oh Dang… if you must see… here it is

Bird: Oh Damn, Doc, I have found a bump on my chest!! Its Skin Cancer, its bad, I’m a goner!!
Doc: No…
Bird: No? It’s worst than Skin Cancer? What is it!!!
Doc: It’s your nipple
Bird: … …
Bird: Oh…
Bird: Errm, then what is this there?
Doc: Your other nipple…

AND

Bird’s Devil: What are you waiting for Bird? She wants you, Jump her Bones man!
Bird’s Angel: No, Bird, Cheap Sex with someone you don’t love is Wrong… Resist!
Isabelle: Oops, My clothes just fell off…
Bird’s Devil: Holy Cow!
Bird’s Angel: Dude, Jump her Bones!

言语从来没能将我的情意表达千万分之一

29 November 2007
Overcast Thursday (28 Degree Celsius)
Boring Night @ 2300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛
Mood: *Buzzz*

Yup, for you, Who Else?

Oh well…

Will I ever get to see you again?

漂洋过海来看你 by 李宗盛

为你我用了半年的积蓄飘洋过海的来看你
为了这次相聚我连见面时的呼吸都曾反复练习

言语从来没能将我的情意表达千万分之一
为了这个遗憾我在夜里想了又想不肯睡去

记忆它总是慢慢的累积在我心中无法抹去
为了你的承诺我在最绝望的时候都忍着不哭泣

陌生的城市啊熟悉的角落里
也曾彼此安慰也曾相拥叹息不管将会面对什么样的结局
在漫天风沙里望着你远去我竟悲伤的不能自已
多盼能送君千里直到山穷水尽一生和你相依

Yup, according to the lyrics, those kinds of feeling besieging me now…

Would you still remember me? After like a million seconds later… I hope so

And Yes, I hope to see you again.

Good Night

NO DRY HUMPING? COME ON!!

28 November 2007
Sunny then Rainy Then Thunder Wednesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Boring Night @ 2205 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 可不可以不勇敢 by 范玮琪
Mood: *Hump, Hump, Humping*

Morning woke up slightly later and remembered that SHIT! Morning Appointment with Giggs. Rushed to shower and off to Bugis. Nabei, he was 40min late, Cow. Anyway, I was at this very famous Chinese temple over at Waterloo (Bugis) for Giggs’ praying time. Also, Mom specifically reminded me to at least “pray a bit lah” though she knows I am secular. Not wanting to disappoint her, well, I did pray somewhat. When Giggs intro me to have my fortune read (along side the temple), I was a little reluctance. You see, my guiding philosophy is; what ever will be, will be. You reap what you sow (ala Karma) and don’t be a cheese pie. Enough said.

That basically summed up my entire day’s event. Oh yes, we had tea break with Han, plus a smoke break… Of course.

A friend of a friend of a friend was telling us this new cuddle party he came up with:

Guys and girls get together at some apartment and lie intertwined in a big pile of limbs. You can start touching, spooning and stroking but there is no sex. There's a referee (btw) overseeing the proceedings, kind of like a life-guard or I guess it would be abstinence. His job under these circumstances; consist but not primarily, making sure none of the rules are broken, like #7 - no dry humping. Come on! It is bad enough with no sex in it but no dry humping.

Anyway, the gist is a simple touching of the other in a consensual non-sexual way. Ok, ignoring the consensual hurdle for now, I was wonder does anyone even knows how to touch a lady in a nonsexual way? Ok, I digress… there are a lot of ways.

Oh yes for my best buddy the whole fricking world can ask for… Han

Me & You is friends…
You smile, I smile …
You Hurt, I Hurt …
You Cry, I Cry…
You Jump off the Bridge…
I gona miss you haha

Still Missing you… But at least you replied all the SMSes. That’s the highlight of my day.



可不可以不勇敢 by 范玮琪

你用浓浓的鼻音说一点也没事, 反正又美又痛才是爱的本质
一个人旅行也许更有意思, 和他真正结束才能重新开始

几年贴心的日子换分手两个字, 你却严格只准自己哭一下子
看着你努力想微笑的样子, 我的心像大雨将至那么潮湿

我们可不可以不勇敢? 当伤太重心太酸无力承担
就算现在女人很流行释然, 好像什么困境都知道该怎么办

我们可不可以不勇敢?, 当爱太累梦太乱没有答案
难道不能坦白的放声哭喊?, 要从心底拿走一个人很痛很难

EVERYTHING WILL BE OK IN THE END. IF IT IS NOT OK, IT IS NOT THE END YET

27 November 2007
Rainy Tuesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Boring Evening @ 1905 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我们之间的事 by 范玮琪
Mood: *Poke Your Head Lah*

Had lunch with Uncle George, then had a smoke break with Han, then talk cock for a while, then go home, and now starts wanting to sleep. Then decides to go toilet pee…

Speaking of toilets, it has always been life greatest pleasure to walk past 40 women waiting for the Ladies while I can just strolled into the open Men’s and enjoy my pee. Speaking of which again, Peeing on Ice cubes is another of life great pleasure (after Sex, Pushup underwear and my Blog). Yup, apparently, some women aren’t aware that sometime, in the men's room of some bars, there are ice cubes in the urinals. Females that I have told this to are invariably astonished. Well, they should. I don't know why exactly they put them there, or how often they have to refill it but hey, all I know is that it is a LOT of fun to melt them. If I ever own a bar or a restaurant, I confirm will install some ice-cube makers in my bathrooms so there's never a shortage of ice to pee-melt. Aww, Ain’t me sweet…

Oh yes, this just got in… Apparently the plural of octopus is not octopuses (OR Octopussies as some of you jerkass will know) … It is call Octopi …

Oh wait… did a quick check… Apparently again, the plural of octopus is indeed Octopuses. As if any of these info are going to help you in any way… like the below dialogue

Imaginary Dialogue: Octopus Balls

Han: Eh, I found this place in Bugis that makes the best Octopus’ Balls
Bird: Huh? Quit Playing lah, I didn’t know Octopuses Have BALLS…
Han: No No, they are not Octopus’ Balls… They are deep fried Balls made with Octopus
Bird: Human Balls?
Han: Why are we even having this conversation?

Haha, post another Youtube MTV… Man, I like Youtube already.

Oh yes, SMS her last night, No Dinner (Yet) as she is busy this week… Awww But its Ok, We can do it another time, since in principle, she has not rejected me (Yet). Yup these kind of Self Bullshit has never felt so good. Have faith!

我们之间的事 by 范玮琪

我们说着报纸上的事, 我们说着邻居发生的琐碎的事
oh…从来不说, 从来就不说, 从不说我们之间的事

我们说着朋友们的事, 我们说着电视里说的发生的事
oh…从来不说, 从来就不说, 从不说我们之间的事

在多数的日子, 我们都不够懂事
仿佛爱情是挥霍不完的数字
应该天真的日子, 我们又太过懂事
oh…在离别时
在离别时, 才看见我们该留住的故事

WHERE ALL THINGS END, A NEW BEGINNING BECKONS…

26 November 2007
Sunny Monday (29 Degree Celsius)
Boring Evening @ 1905 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 不得不爱 by潘玮柏 & 弦子
Mood: *Poke Poke*

That is, I don’t kill those beginning in the first place. Ah, such trauma on a good day of rest. As if I care… Or anyone does…Remember, Whatever that doesn’t kill you will make you stronger…

Amazingly, I am in a pretty good mood, considering

1. My dwelling is in a mess (all thanks to my mom & dad’s decision)
2. My Saturday was like shit, trying to regain my sanity as much as to stay alive
3. My dwelling is still in a mess (Thanks Mom & Dad)

Oh well, can’t have the best of all worlds.

Recently, I do have a little hard time trying to get into my sleep. I certainly did not take any afternoon naps nor did I sleep late into the day, heck, I even maintain this everyday-7.30am-reveille timing. No matter how late I might have sleep the night before… Errm, figuratively speaking that is. Anyway, that’s not the point, the point is, I can’t fricking sleep at night!

Oh yes, did I mention I am missing you like crazy? That might partly explain the insomnia. Argh, It is driving me crazy… I need to SLEEP!! I NEED TO SEE YOU!! I NEED TO SEE YOU!!

Right…

Now we have a little dilemma don’t we? How to see you again? Oh well… Enjoy the Song… Nice Lyrics by the way. If only You get to hear them, which I can only hope.

Call ME!!! No, wait, I’ll Call you… No, NO, CALL ME!! Let me go and kick my balls…

Woah, Nowadays got Multimedia function… Can put Youtube movies here, don’t pray pray… Hahha, Enjoy the MTV. Awwww, I am falling in love keke

不得不爱 by 潘玮柏 & 弦子

天天都需要你爱, 我的心思由你猜
I love you 我就是要你让我每天都精彩

天天把它挂嘴边, 到底什么是真爱
I love you 到底有几分说得比想像更快

是我们感情丰富太慷慨, 还是要上天安排
是我们本来就是那一半, 还是舍不得太乖
是那一次约定了没有来, 让我哭得像小孩
是我们急着证明我存在, 还是不爱会发呆

Baby 不得不爱,不知快乐从何而来
不得不爱,放下悲伤从何而来
不得不爱,否则我就失去未来
好象什么尤其不能自己很失败, 可是每天都过的精彩

LET MANKIND KEEP THEIR GODS AND CULTURE

25 November 2007
Sunny Sunday (33 Degree Celsius)
Boring Morning @ 1105 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Writing my name on Snow with Pee
Mood: *It’s Sunday for crying out loud!*

I was going to say something disgusting but something in my morals say NO. It is Sunday for goodness sake. Everything and everything come to a rest today. Oh and something about the blog title? It is my personal philosophy on how this country should be governed. Say I am getting rather radical (hasten my demise actually). Taglines and Slogan are a little different in theory than say Philosophy. I can say something like We stand for Fairness, but that does not mean I don’t do something offside like say kicking the cats when no one is looking (Sorry Kweks’).

What I am trying to say is; Smee Again, Goan Fug Yourself.

What do I missed most in the event I died and get into other realms… I supposed I will miss my family and friends. Then perhaps on a more personal level, I will miss you. Yup, you, who else. Who else would have the strange alluring power to make me sleepless day in and out? Perhaps so it does not matter much to you but it does to me. The beautiful smile and the cheeky twinkle in your eyes, well, something to remember you by I guess. Nothing is more tragic than seeing you so close to me and yet separated by this zillion of light years between us.

Ah, the perilous of living a mundane life. I could do better; I could do this better, does that better and in the end, all will come to naught. Seriously, I always believe that if that something is yours, it will be, if it doesn’t, it wasn’t meant to be in the first place. Ah, such profound thoughts coming from a bird’s brain. Neither will bring much pleasure to me as much as to others.

I could not bring myself to tell you, to shout it out loud that hey, I do Miss you, I do Like you. Like I said, I could do it but to what purpose… It is not that we have had a future together, well, we could, just that that does not happen very often in my memory here. Besides, I dread you taking off and leaving me in the ditch again and again. Ah, how nice…

Oh well, shan’t bored you with further details on my state of emotions lah. Here is a good old imaginary dialogue with Nyo (since he is like looking for house and stuffs).

Imaginary Dialogue: Bird & Nyo were out house hunting…

Bird: Hey Nyo, look! There’s a woman undressing in her apartment across the street
Nyo: Where? Oh my locks, No way, she’s Hot!
Bird: Ya, hey, wait a sec… She is not undressing… She is…
Nyo & Bird: NAKED!!
Nyo & Bird: We’ll Take it, We’ll Take it!!

Same old same old, this wonderful phase in Chinese speaks a million worth of words

你在哭吗? 在一个我再也到不了的地方™

FUCK! THAT’S THE WORD

24 November 2007
Sunny Saturday (33 Degree Celsius)
Boring Night @ 2005 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 他没有错 by 范玮琪 (Again & Again)
Mood: *Drats*

Oh its thanksgiving weekend in the US of A. Not that I particularly missed it but it is something I came to enjoy its significance. It has been 2 ½ month since my return… Man, how times flies…I missed the winter too. Such cold feelings, sending the chills down to my balls… Such intense feeling of bitterness and harsh… Oh fuck…

Nothing much happened since last entry too.

Wednesday rot at home. Had lunch with ex colleagues (For whatever reasons…). Reach home; continue to rot till sleeping time.

Thursday rot at home. Had Lunch at home and went to buy China Imported CDs at Chinatown (the Irony of words). Reach home; continue to rot till sleeping time.

Friday rot at home. Had lunch at home and went for a nap. Later off to MOS for some jokes, drinks and laugh with Han & LK. Met a new girl, Nichole. Self introduction over, had jokes, drinks and more laugh. Overly drunk out and came home feeling like shit.

Saturday rot at home, feeling like shit (aftermath of the drinking session). Had shitty feeling the whole day through… Despite my state of health, still managed to send out one award winning SMS to her. Yup, the highlight of my day.

Read about this lady, Gloria Steinem said some cheese pie thing once or at least made it famous; "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."

Yeah, ok, I get it, women don't need men. But why the fish thingy?

Anyway where this oh-soooo-clever statement falls apart is that it is not physically possible for a fish to use a bicycle (Yet) whereas MEN have been proven to have some uses, like opening jars, or writing their names in the snow (with Pee). I think a more effective saying to get the appropriate message across would be something like, "Fuck Women, Drink Beer”.

See, in a matter of 4 words, I parody Women and pride Beer…

Oh fuck…Damn boring… Some imaginary Dialogue 3: Over at a cyber café…

Bird: My favorite word? Hmm, what the hell is my fave word?
Han: *Hit Bird’s head*
Bird: Hey, What the Fuck, You Fuck! Fucking smack me in the fucking head! Fuck! That’s Fucking Hurt! Come on, You fucking Fuck, I gona fucking kick your Ass…

你在哭吗? 在一个我再也到不了的地方™

Just so you know, I missed you already… Of course, you will never know… Neither will I.

THE THINGS I WILL DO WHEN I AM INVISIBLE… KEKE

20 November 2007
Sun/Rain Tuesday (28 Degree Celsius)
Painful Evening @ 2005 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 他没有错 by 范玮琪 (again)
Mood: *Physical Pain …*

Oh, have to update my misfortunate last afternoon. The gist is initially, I was fixing my shelves aided by a low chair. Then after the first couple of shelves, I decided for a taller bar stool height kind (bird too short to reach higher). While I was on the taller stool working, suddenly I kind of remembered some ground stuff I missed earlier and still thinking I am on a lower stool, I proceed to alight myself (obviously). In between realizing that there is no footing, falling a little faster than usual, and of course, the customary fuck! I fell onto the floor.

It was shocking but not really that painful, considering it is like 67kg worth of fats. I recomposed myself and grab a pack of soy drink. Halfway through the drink, I realized I am like 5 cm away from crashing into my full height glass cupboards and risk getting killed by the shrapnel’s or broken rails, whichever is in my way. Just so my luck can’t be any better, I am alone at home and I supposed no one will find me until later in the night… By then… Oh well… Tough tough life

Speaking of which, the 67kg worth of fats does insulated my fall. Last check, my left butt cheek (after absorbing most of the impact) does look a little bigger than my right cheek… haha. Also functional check on my pecker, working perfectly, well, as the science community saying goes;

We have the Technology, We can rebuild him…

(Him being gender neutral/non-specific/ageless/diseases independent etc etc)

Seriously can ah? Of course… NOT

Moving on, today still garang, went out with Kwek for a walkabout. Had Lunch and wander aimlessly. Saw some policemen having this bag attached to their thigh (ala Sect Comd’s bag) and started joking about the content. Later injury too painful and really nothing to do, we decided to go home. Actually this year bird seems to be quite injury prone. First my wrist (from golf), then my strain thigh (Running & Old Age) and now this (Stupidity). Wau liew, don’t know got kena cursed by someone or not (as kwek reckoned). What to do, life is tough…

Lucky for us all, (yup you included), I am well and fine. Imagine a world without Bird’s Blog. It’s so bleak I don’t know where to begin… Enough said, its time for my rest. Yup, its early but it could be much earlie, say like at 6pm when I was pretty much dead. But then, what if, what IF I wake up at 2am and cannot sleep anymore (that’s a good 8 hours of rest by the way)? Then it will be fun, if the irony doesn’t kill me earlier.

Oh oh, enjoy another dialogue…

Imaginary Dialogue 2: Walking along the streets…

Bird: You know what I could do with being able to be invisible?
Kwek: Sneak into Girl’s locker room?
Bird: Hell Yeah…
Kwek: Yup, you do that now…
Bird: In case the device malfunction, how long do you think the “sorry I am a bird, I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to be here” continue to work?

她没有错, 只是没有陪我到最后™

18 November 2007
Sunny Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Boring Afternoon @ 1505 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 他没有错 by 范玮琪
Mood: *Nasi Lemak …*

Oh yes, did you hear that MRT and its underlining are proposing to raise the fare again? Pretty soon it will be cheaper to hire someone to carry me around. NO I’m joking, but seriously, at the rate petrol are rising, it could well be a fact (Carrying me around not the fare raise). Anyway, I was telling myself (who else) that Life’s greatest pleasure lies in having a good warm cup of sweeten milk tea in my arm chair… Sure beat sex anytime… Figuratively speaking that is…

For a good part of my return here, I always wanted to eat the Singaporean style beef noodles (those with super thick dark gravy). It was popular before I left for States 3 years back but now, for some reasons, it wasn’t… I couldn’t even find it in most food courts (either City or Suburb)… And I could swear that you can literally have every part of the cow, san dick… Wait a min, I thought there were some Dicks on the menu… Oh, those must be my colleagues… My bad…

In any case, do you have this sudden craving for something that if you don’t eat, part of your libido died along side with it? Nah, never happened to me. I am not a food person as most of my close friends can attest, I eat to live. Anything and everything I also can eat, as long as the rice is not too soft (which is a mark improvement from the heydays where it must be 85% hard).

Speaking of which, I think the future of my stay at home looks increasingly bleak. For one, I cannot stand my mom’s periodic nags and scolding for no apparent reasons. Most are just outburst and not my fault, well not entirely. If there are any, it is my fault that I am home when mom is back. How is that even my fault? I am jobless, where else can I be? Void deck play guitar?

Then again, it is basically rent free now and that would add up to quite a bit over the years; say a room which cost about S$700 per month on the average will essentially cost up to 8K a year. Imagine for an instance that you have such an annual premium plunge for investment and smell the returns. Ok, so how now?

Pay rent or invest money… Pay rent or invest money

I know… I can try to get back later than mom and sleep in till she goes out to work. Like that the chances of meeting will lessened and by that extent, less chance of conflicts. It is not as if I die die have to get out… just try not to meet her or get on her nerve (which I seldom do). How terrible things have cometh… Drats… Just my luck…

Till I strike ToTo or turn 35, I supposed tahaning my mom’s nonsensical outburst is the best course of actions… whichever is less suffering.

Now for a good old imaginary dialogue: Watching English versus Austrian match

Bird: Damn it, Michael Owen, YOU ARE GAY, YOUR MOM’s GAY
Han: his mom’s gay? Exactly how is that an insult?
Bird: His Dad’s Gay!!
Han: his dad is a gardener back in Cheshire…
Bird: I’m GAY!!
Bird & Han: *Silence* …
Bird: This game sucks, I’m going home…

ARRGHH!!! PICTURE OF WILLIAM HUNG’S TITS!! MUST RIP EYE!!!!!

17 November 2007
Sunny then Cloudy then Rainy then …. Saturday (31 Degree Celsius)
Boring Afternoon @ 1605 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 他没有错 by 范玮琪
Mood: *Roti Prata… Yup, those kind of mood*

Somehow for some unknown reason, some bugger(s) has/have been mooching on my network. Every time got this IP address conflict with another system in the network. How fucking nice… Mooch on my network, nabei… If I IT savvy, imagine the damage I could do… But alas, need more karma points, wait next time very lonely in hell… Right…

Anyway, a cock just bumped onto my car’s bumper recently while I was on my way to Nyo’s house. Cheebye, traffic light still red and yet, like orgasm like that, he releases his brake and bumped onto me. Obviously I wasn’t very pleased but then he does look harmless and beside, his insurance will cover the replacement cost, so no need to be angry, like why bother?

Should be too early for cowpeh-ing, cos I am feeling rather neutral now. Oh well, saw this interesting themed dating just now over the net, Lock & Key Party. In a nutshell:

Every woman gets a padlock. Every man gets a key. Find a match, talk cock & mingle.

So, as a guy, you're supposed to walk up to every girl and ask if you can stick your key into her lock. As a girl, you're supposed to offer up your lock to all the keys in the room. Corny?

Not sure about you but this is either an over-the-top, blatantly suggestive metaphor, or a really lame orgy session. Oh, and let me guess, for obvious reason, this doesn't work as a gay party… Hello? 2 Keys? Right, I forgot, sometime keys can be lock also… Yup, that kind of thing…

You know, as the day progresses and without a real job, it is beginning to take its toil. Initially I was prepared for the Running Life Goal thingy but for some reason; I strained my thigh muscle (old age as mentioned). That incident pretty much reduces me (or opened up tons of free time) to having imaginary conversations with myself. Take this movie I caught with Jo Jo last night

Bird: Beowulf, 2340hrs, 2 tickets, please
Cashier: 250 bucks
Cashier: Thank you and the rest room are on your right, 50 bucks per use

For 50 bucks, Nicole Kidman better be in there holding my Dick while I Pee… ANYWAY

Oh yes, enjoy the coming Thanksgiving, folks… Unless you are a turkey, then for fuck sake, Run!

他没有错 by 范玮琪

就这样放了彼此的手, 究竟是尽头还是个出口
只是我还记得, 他每一次抚摸, 只是我还熟悉, 他每一个轮廓

不知道从此要难过多久, 我相信一定和孤独一样久
原来天长地久, 是形容一种痛, 这样的有始有终, 换来怎样的海阔天空

他没有错, 只是没有爱我很久, 他没有错, 是我飞蛾扑火
我求一个经过不妄想一个结果, 他没有错

他没有错, 只是没有为我停留
他没有错, 是爱的不是时候
他没有错, 只是没有陪我到最后

MY LEGS, OH MY POOR LEGS

13 November 2007
Sunny Tuesday (32 Degree Celsius)
Cooling Night @ 2135 (Singapore Time)
Listen: My leg pain
Mood: *Cheese Pie*

Yup, it is official; I have strained my inner thigh muscles. I thought it should be fine, after a good 2 days of rest prior to Sunday run… Alas, I was way out of my prediction. Anyway, today was initially in pretty good form; so I went to Ikea to source for my storage shelves. Halfway through, the strain came back and I have to limp all the way back to car. Lucky car is auto drive; imagine a manual half clutch situation… I think have to take cab back…

Still, despite my strain thigh, I went ahead to meet up with another of my inept insurance agent in Vivocity. Spend a good deal of time in this Design Themed Bookshop, PageOne. If it is not for my pain, I would have spend a greater time there, but alas, body old already, must rest… So I did a very aunty thing; I actually sat on the seats (those blue free form plastic mould) found around Vivocity. Not very glam but hey, leg pain lah. Luckily can managed to drive back home. Drats

Speaking of my inept insurance agent, after lunch, instead of the customary Agent-host-the-lunch thingy, he simply said how much (implying going Dutch). Well, don’t think he ever bought me makan or anything… In any case, I snubbed the Dutch thingy and paid for the meals. Come on, its only 40 bucks, though Jobless, I can still afford buying him lunch. So not generous, how to earn my money? That is why also I didn’t stay for his sales pitch (thinly veiled as “going through my portifolio”). I mean, come on, I know more about the market/economy conditions than he does about sex. How to smoke me? I may look dumb and bo-chap, but that doesn’t mean I am stupid; it’s just that I don’t care. Besides, I am out looking for a dedicated, knowledgeable and I-like-his/her-face Agent to handle my portfolio. No need Pretty SYT, just show me you know your stuffs and win my trust (Anyhow throw one stone also can hit people that are way smarter than bird, so not that difficult lah…). Any Takers?

Moving on, met up with Gary & Han last evening. Talk cock, sing some songs and go home. Gee, that was fun. Anyway, I have resisted the temptation to call her already. Though as lonely, boredom, weak, desperate etc etc I have becometh, I shall not fall into the vicious cycle over and over again. I have had enough of these cheebye relationships; it is time to move on. Yup, have faith and be strong, Bird.

Well… as usual, let me end this with a joke. Just a Joke…

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news.

"I've got some good news and some bad news," God said.
Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."

Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy as you now have this organ to give her children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate these organs one at a time."

YOU ASKED ME IF I LOVE YOU AND I CHOKED ON MY REPLY…

11 November 2007
Cloudy Sunday (32 Degree Celsius)
Lonely Night @ 2055 (Singapore Time)
Listen: My Pain, literally
Mood: *DUH*

Same old same old, nothing much happened since Thursday… Oh just as a gap filler, I actually missed my weekly cowpeh-ing last night; Saturday night being the ritual complaining day. Oh well, guess I can make it up tonight or whenever this post is like, posted?

Following Thursday run, I happened to strain one of my inner thigh muscles (yup, you don’t know its use/comfort till you injured it) and it has been a source (albeit light) of my discomfort since. I thought this morning would have recovered but no leh, after running for 3km in East Coast, we decided to give up and walk back to Car Park. Alrighty, today both Han & myself were pretty slack, don’t seems to find the inspiration to run… Oh well.

Friday went to collect Nyo’s CDs collection. I had them all ripped in one go on Saturday, talk about damn free and damn nothingness; the “Idle mind is a Devil’s playground” but more of that later. Speaking of devil’s playground, recently I have been suppressing my urge and temptation for one of my many interests. I am weak in face of such temptation; more so when it does not bring any perceived harm/hurt to anyone (maybe family members but I digress) and maybe, just maybe societal acceptance of one’s moral preferences and liking. How to accept? Singapore still quite conservative and besides, for obvious reasons, it does not have a future. Ah, I shall stop at this point in time… For everyone’s sake.

Future, haiz... The more I chat with *censored*, I love these little Censored thingy lately

There will be no living with her after this… (As quoted by Capt Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean’s)

Speaking of the idle mind theory, I think I really need a job to redefine myself. I cannot stand this bleakness of a jobless life, not so much of the financial returns (though that helps in some way) but for its societal recognition and assimilation. Ah, that sounds so much like the big P word, PRIDE. Oh well… For what its worth, I supposed that’s life…

I always like you.

For some reasons, I suppressed my feelings for the longest time. I supposed that is my way of loving you, though as unworthy as my love for you, you are still special to me. I hope that one day, you will realize that hey, there is me, in that corner of your life, waiting for you.

I have always missed you

MY LIFE IS … PAIN, BUT HEY, THAT’S LIFE

8 November 2007
Cloudy Thursday (31 Degree Celsius)
Lonely Night @ 2005 (Singapore Time)
Listen: My Pain
Mood: *Silence*

These days, either me too free or getting more philosophical. Funny things kept coming to my mind; it could be obvious (like Bird is a good Bird) or just random thoughts (Bird is Awesome). Think revelation without the usual fanfare; take today’s run for instance…

I went for a jog at about 6.30pm (as opposed to last evening at 5pm) and maybe, just maybe can see some SYT. Oh you notice, I have been jogging quite frequently. Well, I figure since I got No Work to define me, might as well find solace in running instead. Back to running, so after warm up, I started running. Run & run for a while (5km is a long distance to cover for an Old Bird)… then it suddenly dawn upon me… *Trumpet Sound*

It is running on plain old track in the park for crying out loud! What are the odds? I mean, SYT would rather run in branded air-conditioned treadmill Gym than in some hot, humid little park… For the rest of my journey, I got to confirm my hypothesis. Not once I met anyone vaguely Sweet, maybe got some Young though one fact for sure, they are definitely Things haha. Feminist will get to flame me later but seriously, what are the odds? Oh well…

It took me a good so many years to figure that out. Maybe at that time, Branded Gyms are not in vogue yet… plus 3 long years away… How times have changed. Oh well… Hopefully tomorrow will have better luck… False hope is better than no hope, right. Yup, hope, the quiessential for mankind survival. I think God can’t wait to kick my ass for making free will into such manifestation.

On another note, *Censored*

Oh yes, found this recent (very) Dilbert post. It says it all; the wondrous working of our government efficient machinery… Don’t get me wrong, I am pretty Pro-Government one, just can’t help to give them a good nudge every now and then. Hee

MY LIFE IS … A OKIE

7 November 2007
Cloudy Wednesday (30 Degree Celcius)
Lonely Afternoon @ 1445 (Singapore Time)
Listen: My Silence
Mood: *Lonely but bearable*

My laptop crashed on Saturday night and has to wait till Monday for repair… It is really one of those days… I mean Everything was working fine until my dinner. It was nice (Mom bought some chili crabs, not the laptop crashing) and it has been a long time since I ate any… Yup, 3 years is a long time… Never mind I wasn’t that much of a fan in the first place. Back to my laptop, the repair center was pretty ok, just that the journey to the service center is a little far. I walked till sweat like a pig… Later had lunch with buddy Giggs and talk cock a bit.

After that, I was so free that I went to Chinatown to get those China imported (read cheap but original) Chinese CDs. I spent an hour there, going thru all the CDs and finally narrowed down to 5, which cost a fraction of the ones sold in the major music store. But one buang… got scratches like nobody business… Too bad, life is tough, oh well.

Had dinner with Nyo… finally get to see him alive after his 14 days sojourn to Beijing. Met up with her (ya, you know the rest of the story) and came home. *Censored* that would explains the vicious cycle. Either way, I am fucked.

Speaking of fucked, I really fucked by my luck. I wanted to have a hair cut and so went to my salon in the market… And Guess what, it was closed; every first Tuesday of the month (like yesterday). Buy 4D ToTo also not so accurate… Cheebye.

Later in the night went for a drink with LK & Han. Old already lah, don’t wish to know new people and besides, I enjoyed their companionship tremendously. It is always fun and enjoyable with them. Guess we are all getting on with age and life thingy… sometime all you need is a few close friends to live life. Nothing too fanciful, nothing too taxing for the heart, just plain old friends talking cock over a good drink. Maybe, Just maybe, some SYT to go along? haha

But seriously, what’s the thing with SYT? They are cute (no doubt about it), adorable, sweet (don’t get me started on the sensuous thingy)… Well, like my penchant of late, it is all a matter of choices and preferences.

I wish life would be nicer than it already is. But then I am happy the way it is… I am healthy and well, my parents are, my brother is, my dear friends are, what more can I wish for? Oh well… if there is an option, let a SYT drop from the sky and onto my lap haha. You cannot really take these SYT thingy out of my life for long…

Bird, be strong and have faith always

MY LIFE IS … SAD & LONELY

6 November 2007
Tuesday (27 Degree Celcius)
Even Lonely Night @ 0145 (Singapore Time)
Listen: My sadness…
Mood: *Life is… sad & lonely*

Encrpyted for everyone's sake...

J'ai attendu 1 heure de juste de sorte qu'elle puisse être prête à me rencontrer ; mettant sur son maquillage, changement des vêtements etc.. etc..... Et conjecture postérieure ce qui s'est produit ? Elle me câlinent dans la voiture, parler direct de sa tristesse et des substances et exactement 1 heure plus tard, elle m'a dit brusquement qu'elle est laissante et rencontrante quelqu'un (ce que je pense est son ex... qui a voulu en arrière...). Qui suis moi pour l'interroger et pour lui dire ce qu'elle peut faire et ce qu'elle ne pourrait pas. Je ne peux pas la promettre quelque chose, encore moins un futur... Jalousement, réticent et toujours ainsi en utilisant, je l'ai laissée partir.

Je me sens ainsi ai employé. Et ce sentiment suce. J'ai presque voulu donner un coup de pied n'importe quoi de ma manière, juste ainsi je pourrais exhaler l'anéantissement et la jalousie. Sur la rétrospection, elle est également ma soulagent ; au moins je sais que je ne la laisse pas vers le bas ni ne la mène pas. Il est meilleur pour chacun... Je ne peux pas être ainsi qu'elle et elle le sait. Ainsi pourquoi préoccupé l'esprit déjà préoccupé ?

*Censored Again*

Bastardly pendant qu'il peut retentir, je peux vivre avec lui. Je ne suis pas un froid blooded la créature, le I aussi, le AM un homme, avec la chair et le sang. Comment est-ce que je ne peux sentir rien pour elle ? Mais les circonstances ne sont pas toujours pour le seul mortel. J'ai échoué dans mes sens une fois mais je ne l'ai pas regretté. Je souhaite que les choses soient plus faciles et moins imposantes pour mon coeur.

Et oui, elle sms en ce moment... Elle ne rencontrait pas n'importe qui... Pourriez-vous me dire veuillez être ? J'étais jaloux en ce moment ? Correctement ainsi, je suis également soulagé d'une certaine manière, autrefois tout que vous avez besoin est une peu de fermeture et j'ai supposé mettre tout dans des aides de perspective et d'upfront. *hee, Even in Foreign Language, there is this risk of being exposed too... so.. CENSORED*

Je suis destiné pour faire de plus grandes choses et comment peux moi avoir quelqu'un comme elle dans ma vie ? Comment est-ce qu'et qu'autre penserait ? Pas pour elle risque de I tout... Je pas , je ne pourrais pas et je ne devrais pas. J'ai presque voulu aller Changi en ce moment, trouver quelques soeurs et les battre hors de mais puis, à quel but ? Hélas, la douleur de la maturité et la responsabilité qui vient avec elle. Je ne ferais rien excessivement stupide, juste ainsi je pourrais être heureux... comme maintenant...

Nous avons causé et juste comme eu des ratés en rond, elle a abruptement fini l'appel ; cos I n'a pas pu conduire toute la manière à Yishun d'obtenir son dîner... Yup, ce qui la baise et mon sentiment exactement. Conjecture vous pouvez l'appeler un signe ou une lumière quelque part de celle que ceci n'établit pas... pas mineurs même si elle est la fille de mon rêve, je ne peut pas faire toujours ce travail. Pourquoi prolongez une imagination et laissez toutes les parties souffrir le long de la manière?

Haiz, le périlleux de la vie.

Après que tous ce qui se sont produits, les moments courts nous aient dépensé ensemble, le nombreux SMSes et les nombreux manque que nous adorons de l'autre ; il servira une vie des mémoires pour nous toute. Une certaine fermeture est bonne pour notre bien-être, au moins, je savent, j'a essayé par le passé, pas le meilleur genre de fin mais elle est quelque chose que nous tous les deux devons faire faire. Elle sait, je savent. La vie n'est jamais juste ni est elle heureuse, bien, quelques mémoires à vivre près je devinent...

Mon Nicole doux... Je m'ennuierai de vous

LIFE’S A BITCH. CAUSE IF IT IS A SLUT, IT WILL BE EASY

3 November 2007
Saturday (28 Degree Celsius)
Lonely Evening @ 1900 (Singapore time)
Listen: 别让我哭 by 陈升
Mood: *Life is…Lonely*

It seems that my blog of recent seems to lack that X significance… then I realize… Oh, I am jobless, how nice… Was telling JoJo that I am defined by my work; sad as it may sound, but still, life has to go on. Not that I am going anywhere or staying put, just that these 4 days of nothingness is a little hard to bear; egoistically, mentally and physically (in that order). Not that I have nothing better to do (heck, I spent most of it in nightlife…) but this is not something I particularly looked forward to. Not lest to say, the girls’ meeting but that’s another story.

So now you have it, in its full glory; every Saturday night musing of my loneliness, despair and stuffs. Keep it as a tradition lah, easier for the heart.

Following on the last entry, I went for a dinner gathering on Wednesday with Giggs, Cho & Khoo. After which we waited ½ hour for cheebye cab and still no luck, so lan lan took the MRT home (at 11 somemore). No choice, nowadays old already, cannot walk too much, seems to enjoy taking cab haha. Reach home, shower and went online to see who is as bored as me. Saw LK… and guess what? We actually decided to go Zouk (Mambo Night) at 1am… Pick her up at 1.45am and only reached Mambo at 2.15… Talk about super bored and nothing to do.

We had fun… Dancing and chatting away… How can anyone not enjoy the companionship with someone as bubbly as LK?

Thursday went for dinner with Chris, Rachel & Leela. Pity Grayze couldn’t join as (like ever) and well, I always like the feeling of talking cock over drinks and desserts. I am not a party animal lah, unless occasion calls for it. That’s why I prefer Jazz bar to Pubs and Clubs.

Went for an ice-cream break with JoJo on Friday afternoon (damn free right). Later in the evening, Nicole called in for a movie but somehow we ended up in Ministry of Sound (MOS) despite my protest and reluctance and besides, I am not in the mood for clubbing. It was there and then that I had a revelation. *Censored Paragraph... for my sake*

Speaking of which, I think mom has becometh increasingly naggy. I don’t think staying under the same roof is a good idea after like 3 years away. I missed my alone-ness in US. Time has change, people changed and while I acknowledges the fact that I am rather not that easy to live with, but I already very nice already… Wau liew, that, apparently did not stop the continuous nagging. Oh well…

Oh yes, I spent 30 min last night, cleaning off all the bird’s shit on car. Nabei, now I know, cannot cheebye parked under open carpark in Orchard. Just in a span of 1 hour, my whole fucking car was covered with bird shits. How can a couple of cheebye birds able to shit until covered the whole car! No choice, went for a car wash in the middle of the night (2am) and it was not pleasant. I fucking want to kill all the birds! But then, since it’s the same species as me (figuratively speaking), lan lan accepted it. Well, next time I might not be all that lenient to those fucking birds.

Keep shitting birds, I am reloading…

I am missing you, if only you have a name… 你在哭吗? 在一个我再也到不了的地方™…