WHEN THE ENEMIES AT THE GATE, THE KING AND CARDINAL ARE BOSOM FRIENDS

9 May 2008
Sunny Saturday (30 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 0940 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 换季 by 黄丽玲
Mood: *Duckies cute… Expensively Cute”

What an uneventful weeks… not that I care… so what are the latest news?

Headline Number 1: AWARE saga has proven my hypothesis that Give Women some Power, they think they own the World. Don’t even get me started on lady bosses…

Headline Number 2: Tomorrow is OSIM Day (oops, I mean Mother’s Day). You should see how much effort OSIM and its Spokesperson, Jeannette Aw are doing… You SHOULD have seen the OSIM USqeeze Advertisement by Jeannette… Wow, She is like orgasm-ing every minute the machine nip and tuck her weary legs… Damn, I got to have one of those (which I did but for other reason)…

Headline Number 3: Still on Jeannette… Pity she didn’t win any prizes at the Star awards by MediaCOCK. Pity man, it’s a SHAME, it’s a SHAM!!! Just because she refuse to sleep with the Top Bosses!!! You know, someday, someone or something will definitely sue me…

Headline Number 4: Boring story, almost STALE I tell you but well… Mat Selemat is caught. Who the fuck is he? For one, he made the Interior Minister look damn Cock when he say it is an accident (Mat’s escape, not his cock), let’s MOVE ON. Worse still, he made our wonderful boys/men at ISD (Internal Security) look like a Cock (my dictionary a little retard lately). Now that he is caught, I supposed he will be thrashed within an inch of his Cock life, in Malaysia (where he is caught) and in Singapore when he is extradited back. It is only a matter of time he will be condemned to live out his Cock life behind bars like forever. Don’t mess with the XXX…

Headline Number 5: Our babies collections are growing as we speak. Yes! Just last night, I was cowpeh-ing about my financial standing and how we ought to eat at food court and not some fancy restaurant (to save cost)… We bought 2 terribly overpriced baby duckies (call Zippy by the way) without batting an eyelid. It was not cheap, these Damn CUTE soft toys… On hindsight, we should have settled for the baby seal which is like only a fraction of the duckies’ cost. Oh well…

On a damn side note, I now know the importance of personal personal hygiene. I was a little apprehensive, maybe, just maybe a little frustrated by the recent spate of infection. It was itch, it discolored a bit and in the end, I was worrying a litte. But I no anyhow wander, I no anyhow poke poke see see… Cannot be right? Anyway, as of print time, it has gone back to its original color and no more itchiness… Damn, it feels good… Finally.

Reminds me of a good joke… American Jack had good times with Chinese Pros(s) and return to US with a discolored Dick. Almost turning black, he seeks help. Doc looks concerned and said,

“Well, Jack, its Chinese VD (Venereal Disease) and we have to amputate it”…
“Hell no and screw yourself!” Said Jack and he seeks a second opinion with a Chinese Sinseh
“Oh” said Chinese Sinseh, “Its Chinese VD”
“Yaya, you old prick, I know its Chinese VD… My doc says amputation…” Said Jack irritably
“Stupid American doctors, everything also amputate…Don’t worry big ugly Jack, 2 more days, dick fall off by itself”

And Yes, I promise you an entry(s) about democracy… Yes yes, I am still working on it… Bear with me and have faith ok… I got a life that encompass me reading at least 5 pages of The Economics every day and making sure I don’t get sack. Till then, have fun and be safe. Remember, it is not ONLY about you.

VOX CLAMANTIS IN DESERTO (THE VOICE OF ONE CRYING IN THE WILDERNESS)

7 April 2008
Gloomy Tuesday (32 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 1840 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 乘虚而入 by 苏永康Mood: *Inuka cute… beary cute”

Today I read with disgust a HR policy that basically affects everybody BUT the minority. I am even inclined to think of inciting a civil disobedience just to prove my point. The story is, somewhere down the road, someone or something decided to voice their concern about having pork or more aptly, non-halal things in the canteen. A canteen that is shared by hundreds of others that is not quite, well, like them, Literally.

In a nutshell, I assumed that something have decided that they have had enough of seeing infidels sharing the spaces with them and worst still, eating non-conforming food. So they decided to pressure enough people by ways of

1. Sensitivity to their Needs
2. Consideration to their wants

But what of the Beers? The Cigarettes?? And the idle talk, the gambling and the Oh so Lusty eyes on the office ladies? Oh and you think I am blind, or even oblivious to these? You think I no read your book? What I don’t say doesn’t mean I don’t know, it’s just that I don’t care… Now that I do care… You can see the epitome of double standard smack on your face, hard.

Seriously, What is wrong with a little PORK and Lard around? We don’t even force feed them onto you or complain why you go around fucking, having pre-marital sex, early sex and funny sex, do we? SO why are you making life so difficult for us, the Majority!

What I feel? Fuck them.
Yes and while we are at it, FUCK them hard.

Since when do majority have to give in to the whims and fancy of the minority… all for what? Racial Harmony? WHY can’t they accommodate the masses and live within OUR way of life? Since when do they have the rights to hijack our god damn rights? I Live and Breathe PORK and LARD. And if anyone whom even thinking of getting my birth rights, Screw You!

Of course, if these really do get out and into the public sphere, I can look forward to a nice cell with them as my companion. Really, the things the government does to make peace with our fucking-no-pride-highly-corrupted-idiosyncrasies neighbors. ARREST ME!! And WHILE you are at it, Make me a MARTYR standing up for my fellow Chinese Singaporean RIGHTS!!

But then, Bird has (and I repeat) everything but balls and following that logic, I must apologies, sincerely, if I do offend anyone by my outburst. I am just making my point and this is after all a free country (no, really). However, if I do get charged and sentence to life, you can then make the judgment call. I believe in our judiciary system, my faith in the ruling party and its values and more importantly, what is stands for. But I also believe that if we do not speak out now (just like the common folks in Nazi Germany), there might come a time we may not have the voice left when they (non-infidels) do come for me.

No seriously… Let me reiterate the necessity of it all. For a start, it rhymes with masturbation…Yes! Democracy!! And No, it has no being whatsoever with masturbation but I got your attention, didn’t I?
So, then what is democracy? What is the essence, the reasons, the what-ever fucking ideology that comes with it? Watch this space

WE LIVE, WE DIE AND THE WHEEL ON MY CAR GO ROUND AND ROUND

1 March 2009
Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Afternoon @ 1600 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 天天看到你by 阿杜
Mood: *No Feelings ah*

It has been a while ya… Where did I go then? What did I do? I mean WTF did I do?

Firstly, I was busying prepping for my first In-Camp Training (ICT). Before I get myself in, I needed to settle my civilian lives’ matters… Like like… My Day Job (I do have a job that pays for my bills you know…), my love life (Pacifying my little snoopy) and making damn sure all my bills are paid. On top of that, my little brother and SIL came back for a visit too. Wish I could spend more time with them but alas, wrong timing… Well, still awaiting the arrival of my cute little niece, awww

Anyway, back to ICT, it was not a bad experience, really. It was physically demanding (and I have to hear all my Chee Bye friends saying how relax ICT) and mentally draining. I guess I am just unlucky, having to do my ICT in an Infantry Unit and on top of that, specializing in defence position (Think Built up Trenches). In addition to the training demands, I have to meet some chee bye troopers. Oh well, I managed to post all the cheebye out of my platoon. I am guessing all the rest of the commanders are doing it too… You should have seen the people arrowed to be posted elsewhere. Just one glance you knew straight that they are platoon/company rejects. Oh well, we all made our choices (them included) and so… It’s the survival of the fittest and adaptability. Too bad…

Did the ICT humble me? I can’t really say. My goosey was telling me that I look like me kind of enjoying it. I guess so. I mean, I have to do it, by left, right or center. So… I might as well do a good job and while I am at it, be positive too. What I learnt from this short annual military stint is confidence and the right attitude to handle all kinds of situation; good or bad. It is life, it’s ain’t sweet and the worst thing is, you can’t choose. But still, I am also pretty glad it is over and Yes, another 9 years awaits. I think I did a pretty good job and it will be commented via a citation (end of course report to my head of department). So I get to be confident, to the best of my morals and ability, bonding with the men, keeping fit, and still gets commended. In summation, it is good.

Moving on, I also get to see the most beautiful rainbow after this heaviest rainfall during one of my many outfield exercises. It was beautiful. Without a doubt but alas, my silly little goose was not with me then… Never mind, we have many more rainbows to catch…

Speaking of my silly goose, we just watched Marley and Me at Suntec. It was an ok movie actually, nothing spectacular, nothing emotional-ly. Well, to me at least. Still, silly goose is a silly goose and she goes sniffing and tearing away. Gosh, my silly little goosey.

With that I ended my otherwise dull month. Oh well, we live, we die and the wheels on my car still go round and round. How is that for a start?



天天看到你 by 阿杜

一开始就误会, 关于你的倔强和不妥协
一离开就后悔, 因为你爱的很坚决

我被缠在一些傻问题, 譬如说用什么爱你
如果我就这样离去, 我的心会碎的像玻璃

天天看到你, 却产生了距离
爱越热心越冷的关系
也许这是我不够勇气, 去解开你防卫的外衣

天天看到你, 是习惯和必须
不可能跟可能, 我的心面对分离
Oh~ 我才知道自己有多爱你

HAPPY BIRD DAY, WOODSTOCK

1 February 2009
Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Windy Afternoon @ 1700 (Singapore Time)
Listen: This Kiss by Faith Hill
Mood: *It’s a not moving Procreating Blind Deer*

Happy Birthday bird/Woodstock

We hope you have the best of everything; good health for love ones, happiness and still happiness.

Thank you so much…

Especially my sunshine Snoopy whom got me a surprise birthday cake… Awww

Honey, I love you so muchie and I promised to be a nice little Woodstock for you and you only.

Muaks

And so we be; eat, drink & be merry.



This Kiss by Faith Hill

I don’t want another heartbreak, I don’t need another turn to cry
I don’t want to learn the hard way, Baby, hello, oh, no, goodbye
But you got me like a rocket, shooting straight across the sky
It’s the way you love me
It’s a feeling like this
It’s centrifugal motion
It’s perpetual bliss
It’s that pivotal moment
It’s, ah, impossible

This kiss, this kiss (Unstoppable)
This kiss, this kiss

Cinderella said to Snow White, how does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight, with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset, Baby, I’m forever yours
You can kiss me in the moonlight, on the rooftop under the sky
You can kiss me with the windows open, while the rain comes pouring inside
Kiss me in sweet slow motion, let’s let everything slide
You got me floating, you got me flying

To the love of my life; my kidney, liver and heart and well, everything

Honey, I truly deeply ultra-ly love you

Muaks

MY PRECIOUS

29 January 2009
Thursday (29 Degree Celsius)
Windy Night @ 2300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 猜不透 by 丁當
Mood: *It’s a Procreating Blind Deer*

Sméagol... Why does he cry, Sméagol?

Sméagol: Don't ask Smeagol. Poor, poor Smeagol.
Sméagol: Master... Master looks after us. Master wouldn't hurt us.
Gollum: But Master broke his promise, didn’t he…
Sméagol: Cruel men hurts us. Master tricksed us.
Gollum: Of course he did. I told you he was tricksy. I told you he was false.
Gollum: Master betrayed us. Wicked. Tricksy, False. We ought to wring his filthy little neck. Kill him!

Kill him! Kill them both! And then we take the precious... and we be the master!

Sméagol: No, not it's business. Leave us alone. Why can’t they just fucking die and leave us alone?
Gollum: Filthy little hobbites. They stole it from us.

What did they steal?

Gollum: Myyy PRECIOUSSS.

And Master shall pay dearly for these trespasses…
For the time of revenge is upon us…
But we shall wait, we shall persevere… He will pay dearly



猜不透 by 丁當

猜不透, 你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透 相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸 是真的, 是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

猜不透 相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸 是真的, 是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过
到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

GONG XI FA CAI, HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR

26 January 2009
Monday (31 Degree Celsius)
Windy Afternoon @ 1400 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 猜不透 by 丁當
Mood: *It’s a Blind Deer*

Yup, time flies… just like tax and death. Hmm, since it is not very auspicious to say morbid things like this on first day of the lunar new year…

Have a happy and prosperous New Year.

Sometime, I contemplate giving up my blog. It’s like nothing much to talk about. Though I have zillions of observation and feelings on all kind of stuffs… but but… I am attention deficient. I cannot concentrate on anything more than it is necessary.

I blame my hormones and everything that goes with it… Ya, something like that

Oh well

I shall bear the burden of my life… the bleakness of nothingness
Just warm my cockles by the mere thoughts of it….
Still… Have a Happy and wonderful year ahead. Its all that humans’ live for, isn’t it?

Oh well, another joke to warm your cockles (since it warmth mine)

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,
"You know, I have lost my wife here in this supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" the woman asked.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Blower’s Daughter by Tanya Chua

And so it is, just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time

And so it is, the shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is, just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time

And so it is, the colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

HI GUYS, MEET BOB! “HI BOB” NOW, BOB IS BEING NAUGHTY, YES HE IS… HE TRIED TO STEAL ME COOKIES… SO HOW? HAHA BOB… HAHA

14 January 2009
Wednesday (31 Degree Celsius)
Damn Windy Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 猜不透 by 丁當
Mood: *It’s a Bob’s World*

Ok, so where have I been? Nowhere as usual… and how now? A recap of my life so far…

Found out that people do use urinal water to wash/water their dick (machiam cleaning up after urinating). Don’t say use urinal water to wash Dick, sometime accidentally kena some small splashes of urinal water on hand I nearly emptied the Dettol to disinfect… Cow, use it to wash dick…

Also found out that the Shilin food outlet’s chicken cutlet, tempura, and crepe are actually quite tasty (Yes, kwek, it is delicious… SO GO AND EAT IT!!). I know I am like 2 years late (the fad almost gone) but hey, better late than never… Just like its better out than in thingy… Ya, those sort of things…

Next bit is censored.

Moving along, I have been running like 3-4 times a week, practicing my golf every other other day (haha) and going to gym (once lah… so far). It is argued that doing some exercise (any exercise) aids in the released of endorphin; those little hormones that gave the assurance of happiness when shit happened. Somehow for some reasons, I felt much alive; I am quicker, my pace is lighter, my lungs are stronger, I can run faster, longer and I don’t pant easily now. Damn…

The only drawback? I skipped lunch during weekdays to accomplish the runs. Better lah, don’t eat so much and run more, like that can lose weight. But funnily, I didn’t lose much though… My fats are still dangling around my waist and my weight stays constant… fucking cow

Oh yes, on that note, I am now known by another nick; somehow for some reasons too, my honey decided to nick me Woodstock, so that Snoopy (being her) can pat pat me… Nicey

Hopefully this year of Ox will be a greater year for me. To achieve much more than before, to strive for greater height and to do what other’s merely dream of. Yes BIRD, YOU CAN DO IT

Self praising never felt so steady. Did you not notice? haha

Now to the dark side, I can't seem to concentrate nor does anything without blowing a fuse. In short, I am damn irritated and damn pissy fucking easily. My clerks are not helping. One fine day, just one fucking day, when they caught me feeling like shit… Just one day, just one clerk… Then after I am done blasting him/her, the rest will learn to toe in line. I promised.

Where is the damn euphoria when I needed it? Oh you know what? I do get euphoric. Yes yes, I do. The only problem is, it is like a roller coaster ride; up and down the temperament journey. In case you have not notice (Hypothesis define by my wife’s close monitoring), I am usually depressive and hormonal imbalance at the end of the month. With any luck, I can hitch the prize for the timeliest PMS.

So now how? I present to you, a Joke: A 1st Year Medical Student description of a breast

1. It contains the optimum balance of nutrients for the newborn child.

2. As it is contained within the mother's body, it is protected from germs and helps develop the child's immune system.

3. And it comes in such nice containers.