I JUST WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU

22 April 2008
Tuesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Mood: *ARGGGHHH …*

I waited and waited and still there is no end in sight

I hated this fucking waiting time, it seems like bad dreams, kept repeating itself over and over again. Why do I subject myself to such a torture? Why DID I even fucking try!!

Wouldn't it better if everything just stays status quo
What is so wrong with being alone...?
What is so wrong?

I tell you what is wrong! My HEART! MY LONELY FUCKING HEART

I have said this many times; I will do anything, ANYTHING to make damn sure my heart is not lonely... AT the expense of whoever is near me...

You can call me a bastard, a jerk, anything you want. But when My heart, my fucking heart is happy, even for that mere minutes, mere seconds, I am HAPPY and that is ALL that matters... Who cares about hurting others... I don't, do you?

I like this falling in love thingy
It's like adrenaline; the pain is such a sudden rush for me
You don't know what it was like for people like me living my life, do you?

ALL I wanted is a stupid email from you
ALL I EVER wanted is a reply from you

My tea's gone cold I wonder why I..
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad..

I just want to fucking kill you

But of course, you never will know, would you?

That is the nature of things…