AH YOU NOTICE IT TOO… THAT’S FUCKING NICE, NOW SEE HOW YOU FUCKED IT UP

1 April 2008
Tuesday (27 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 亲爱的, 那不是爱情 by 张韶涵
Mood: *Cow & Horsie gone Horsing around*

Went Jogging just now… Too frustrated over my life and everything else… So with so much energy impounded, what can be a better way than to waste it all (health center, Geylang, etc) haha. But alas, Bird may be single but he is not that desperate (yet). Jogging is an easier and much healthier option. Not to say sex is bad but we will come to that later. Then it started raining. Its ok, I am pretty used to such shit already. Well, if you are in my shoes, then life’s tough…

By now, you would have learnt the exponential increased in food, daily necessities, shampoo… heck everything. These prices will definitely affect the supply for the next few months/years and how prices are always expected to increase. When contacted, Governments everywhere have assured us that they are already planning for alternative sources and, for now, just shut the fuck up, seriously.

However, laws of supply and demand make it rather clear that we should expect everything to cost more in the coming months. And since we are in the topic of sex, we shall take a look at two alternatives to condom…

Do you want to live forever?

As you may have guessed, this is the dangerous option which should be attempted only by the very brave or very foolish. How to know which group you fall under? Well, unless you are a trained chemist or feel that you have 1 dick too many, you'll probably fall into the latter group.

Unless you are looking at made-in-moon condom, chances are, most condoms are really just well, rubber, or latex. Hence, it can be easily molded and stretched to match any sizes (given its elasticity).

Sourcing for latex on the Internet is easy. From where I am, I can just cross the straits, tapped on some trees and Bingo, RAW ingredient for Condoms. Knowing the correct rubber compounds however, is a little harder. But we will come to that…

After mixing all the components, now is the time to pray for two miracles.

One, that the first wearing attempt doesn't result in an explosion or fire or rash or China VD (from my earlier Blog ala Dick-drop-off fame).

Two, though technically you may be able to get the correct composition and having end result that look vaguely similar to a condom. Remember this, there is a reason why Durex, founded in 1929 and it is still in business after so long whereas You, the brave one, have just like discover 1 min ago that you can actually make a condom (sort of)…

Yes, I believe life is beautiful and valuable

A much safer and sane option is to purchase a carton, for those rainy days. These can come in various sizes and capacities and heck, who knows, you might get a bulk discount.

The trick, however, is trying to determine if they have a tip for you (I know, bad pun). If your prefer your condom from big-name player, chances are it should be compatible. Otherwise, you will have to test it out personally before putting your money down. The best part about this method is you can use your entire condoms in the name of cost saving while finding the real McCoy.

Works for me… Happy April Fools Day!

雨, 不停落下来
花, 怎麼都不开
尽管我细心灌溉, 你说不爱就不爱, 我一个人 欣赏悲哀

要多少缘分才有可能, 要多认真才能爱我?