THE LAST OF MY BAD DAY IS WHEN I MET YOU

5 September 2010

Rainy Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)

Evening @ 1830 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 晚风 by 叶倩文

Mood: *My little Bundle of Joy*

Well, life’s been good, I can’t complain much, everyone dear in my life is healthy and behaving, so yup, life is good, could be better… Hmm, maybe but that’s for another day.

Still waiting for the one chance for interview, any interview but alas, better to be certain than be disappointed in the long run. You see, my present job is not exactly that bad, that will explain my apparent reluctance to move on, despite the paycheck. But because of the salary and the lack of progression, it made me so wana kick me for every day spent in the office. Nothing seems to excite me anymore, knowing fully that everything I do, it wouldn’t matter. Oh well, it used to be an exciting place to be, where I enjoy doing the things that I do, never mind that mostly, these are the discarded jobs, jobs that nobody wana do, which for all the time, falls onto my lap. After 2 long years of doing these unwanted stuffs, it disheartened me a lot and to make matter worse, there are no recognition at all. So how? I decided to move on. Since my boss doesn’t appreciate my contribution, I shall move to places where I will be appreciated and recognized.

So yes, it is time to move on. It is such a wonderful environment to retire in (my current work), no pressure and mostly, those who reports to me are good, well-behaved staffs. Superiors and scumbags are another matter but those will come to pass too. Well, whatever it is, good things come to those who waited. Who knows, the dream job where I can be stretched and excel, maximized my potential, One hundred and one percent and then some more. You never know… So I wait.

Just like meeting my beloved snoopy, good things come to those who persevere. Claire is the product of our love, literally. And Yes, can’t say we slept really well these days, but hey, no one complaining. Ever since Claire’s arrival, we have not had a good 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but no one complaining. Nowadays she is able to response to external stimuli (like Daddy & Mummy‘s pretend-play session) and make cute sounds (voice) and mimic other gestures with her hands. It is these little things that make everything and anything all so worthwhile.

Never mind that she has deliberately or not, pinched me

Never mind that she sneezes into my face every other day

Never mind that she salivate on my hands, shirts and anywhere in close proximity to her mouth

Never mind the never mind, Claire, You little imp, daddy and mummy so love you

晚风 by 叶倩文

晚风中, 有你我的梦

风中借来一点时间紧紧拥

拥的那个梦, 像一阵风, 像一阵风

悠悠爱在风中轻轻送

我心的爱是否你心的梦

可否借一条桥让我俩相逢

在这借来的桥中, 明天的我, 明天的你

会不会在想那天上有

今晚的风, 和明天的梦

到底在你心里有多少影踪

可否这个晚上, 借来时间, 借来晚风

把我的爱送到你心中

A SMILE IS A SMILE, NEVERMIND ITS INTENT AND PURPOSE

22 August 2010

Bright and Sunny Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)

Morning @ 1000 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 迷途 by 辛晓琪

Mood: *A little tired*

As usual, life goes on, with or without anyone and anything. We are no different.

Claire is growing, screaming and smiling ever so well. We just had a HFMD scare, hopefully nothing contagious will happen. What we can do now is to watch and observe the symptoms. That’s life.

Now that I am done (very much) with Remedial Training, finally I have all the time in the world to start looking for my home. Sheesh… RT is not too bad actually, if any, it helped keeping me fit and healthy when the going gets damn tough and for my case, lazy. I have not been exercising well and regularly since I ended my RT 2 weeks back. Damn… Must train hard… cannot grow fat and die, life’s too precious for that. Besides, I needed the extra energy and life-enhancing goodies that exercises (or after that) bring. Alas, I’m a little under the weather lately, therein proven that diet, never mind how nice and mouth-watering the grilled, fried and whatever-bad-for-body-but-taste-oh-so-good stuffs might be, We have to eat healthily so that we can live healthier. Period.

Speaking of which, I have hardly enough time for myself, let alone the exercise regime. Not to say I’m lazy (I’m a little) but the moment I reached home, I will be busy washing the cups/bottles/breast pumps & accessories, doing the laundry, packing in the clothes, and miraculously by multitasking all of the above. Even that, I spent like 1 - 1½ hours daily making damn sure everything falls nicely in place. At the end, I am thoroughly exhausted to do much anyway. Mummy had it tougher; feeding, pacifying and trying to get Claire to sleep snugly. Oh well, daddy does the physical aspect while mummy handle the intimate, often psychologically and mentally tiring portion of Claire’s life.

Anyway, the house hunting will play a big part in our life for these couple of months. Oh well, my only wish is to quickly get it over and done with it. Screw the government for making all the mistakes and to cover up with more of it. Yup, I know, we know, everyone knows that price of HDB is not dictated by well... HDB but market forces (Well Done capitalism!) but telling us to plan ahead (book Build-to-Order Flat years in advance) and buying one (in the resale market) that we can afford don’t really gel well with the electorate. How can one plan intimate, life changing issues years ahead? How can one foresee in the foreseeable future what it might bring? I know, it is not exactly the government’s problem that everyone gets a roof over their head, but by making it a part of HDB’s manifesto and by co-relations (HDB is government department…), it is therefore the job of the government to make sure this happen! Not by asking people to bid for their interest and then build one (some 3 years to completion)… But then, I can understand their pain; do get fuck (huge surplus years ago in Jurong West), don’t do also fuck (housing squeeze from 2007 – 2010). Seems like it is a pretty thankless job, BUT, Public officers and CEO of government-linked/Public Goods/agencies should never rub in…

Like the SMRT saga, the CEO commented that squeezing 1800 people in the carriage is no big deal and besides, the trains are not packing in their optimum capacity, why are we cowpehing here? They have made adjustment to the pricing (now based on distance) and they are losing like 88 million a year with such changes, we should be thankful! Yes, I know, we know, every fucker knows and ought to be thankful, but the presentation. The PR guys and girls should be sacked!

Well, for one, most probably you have a chauffeur or on worst case scenario, driven a luxury car. So why would you be bothered at all, the suffering of the masses? We know, all masses know, that life sucks, you don’t have to prove that point in public forum… besides, the income gap between the rich (and richer) and the poor (gini coefficiency) is rising as we speak. That means, the rich have either becoming richer, gathering a massive portion of the national income or the poor have, as a demographic, being fucked. Employment data is not helping one bit and I’m pretty amazed how the government is pretty frank about it. This is the election year and we have a mixed of good and bad news. This is kind of welcoming, who says election year must be all gays and euphoria… so how now?

We eat, sleep and hope that tomorrow be sunnier…

I WANT, I CRY, I GET

24 July 2010

Dull Evening (30 Degree Celsius)

Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 沿海公路的出口 by S.H.E

Mood: *Damn Shack man*

Some happenings lately…

Saw my lady colleague jogging from home to office. Sweaty and panting, she mumbled something like “Morning”… That’s not the funny part… the funny thing is, she wasn’t wearing any bra (and how would I know?) cos her nipples were sticking out like North Korean duo missiles… Right…I JOKE. About everything… Though I wish it could be true haha.. but alas, no luck, dude, no luck.

Moving on, I visited one of the many less-than-desirable toilets lately and with a bad tummy, you couldn’t really care. Then I remembered the “Nobody” Korean song, where the singer got trapped in the toilet with no toilet papers at hand… So I did what I had to do, I CHECKED. Sure enough, no toilet paper… I change cubicle. Sometime I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…

Lately I have been working hard, physically and mentally. I was in Remedial Training for the past 2 months already and it was tough. To say its tiring and total waste of time is an understatement but then again, I got my theory confirmed; I am a winner while most people there are pretty much losers. Don’t believe? You should have seen the number of fuckers trying to slack. Well, perhaps I shouldn’t use myself as the benchmark, but I always believe this; I am already the lowest of the lowest and if I can do it; endure and excel, made it all the way to the top, EVERY FUCKERS can too. So how? You are fucked while I evolved to celestial beings. Well, Fuck this, SUCKERS!

Then I becometh sad. Saddened by one chap in the RT program. I deduced that either he has a slight mental handicap or he is anti-social, those loner and weird type. Yup, I’m a loner but safely, I don’t think I’m weird. Accelerate into the future and my kids, would they turn out otherwise? If I’m his parent, would I be sad too? There are many instances in life, where people are slightly below the average. I mean, it is bad enough to be average but to be below it really blows (no pun though). It takes a parent to know the pain of another. But I supposed everything is fated and hence whatever will be, will be. Nothing to be overly sad or happy about, it is all pre-destined and we just have to live it through.

Moving further still, Indian Chief has decided to throw in the towel. Yes, he quitted. I can’t really say I am happy or sad but hey, that’s life. He is not a bad person, in any case, even if he may not be the best worker. I have already made my stand, either you are with me or you are against me, so it’s really up to you have to make the choice. I don’t deliberately belittle or find fault with you; but if you step on my tail deliberately and consistently, you are fucked. In a nutshell, I abso-fucking-lutely hate slackers. Not all are winners, but that doesn’t mean you can be lazy.

Mummy really damn on, since the first day of pregnancy till today, she has done all that she could ever have mustered and then some more. Daily, she ate and sleeps well, watch her diet like a hawk and making sure Claire got every nutrients known and unknown to science. Then there is the Clicking Machine, twice daily without fail. Now that Claire is out, she has diligently fed her with all the nutrients, yes both known and unknown. That nutrient thing is damn hard lor, imagine having to consistently expressed the milk, every scheduled timing without fail and with so much fatigue. Mummy the best, without a doubt. Claire Claire, must love love Mummy & Daddy ok? Daddy did much of the physical chore also you know… not just being there (but it helps…)

Speaking of which I am a believer of Infant care already. Barely one month, she has been pretty well taken care and disciplined already. It’s like a boot camp. Ok, maybe it’s a little harsh but hey it works. Claire Claire, We love you, with all our hearts. You grow well, feed well and be happy, ok

We love you so much.

LITTLE BLACK RIDING HOOD…

10 July 2010

Dull Evening (29 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 2030 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: *Doh*

What’s there to say, what’s there to tell… Nothing much happened these days; Claire went for her infant care already. Everything is ok, everything is fine, everything is… Yup, life’s like that.

What else? …………………………..

That’s all folks… Stay tuned. If you are lucky, you might see an entry or two… but I wouldn’t count on it.

To end, let’s do a joke, something of a tradition here…

The doctor took his patient into the room and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

The patient said, “Give me the good news.”

“They’re going to name a disease after you.”

WELL, DUH….

我终于失去了你 by 赵传

当所有的人离开我的时候, 你劝我要耐心等候

并且陪我渡过生命中最长的寒冬, 如此地宽容

当所有的人靠紧我的时候, 你要我安静从容

似乎知道我有一颗永不安静的心, (我)容易蠢动

我终于让千百双手在我面前挥舞

我终于拥有了千百个热情的笑容

我终于让人群被我深深的打动

我却忘了告诉你, 你一直在我心中

啊~我终于失去了你, 在拥挤的人群中

我终于失去了你, 当我的人生第一次感到光荣

啊~我终于失去了你, 在拥挤的人群中

我终于失去了你, 当我的人生第一次感到光荣

当四周的掌声如潮水一般的汹涌

我看见你眼中伤心的泪光闪动

THROUGH LIFE’S TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS

21 June 2010

Hot Hot Monday (33 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 2030 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: *Shoot*

Claire is 2 months old. She’s feeding, growing and crying (most often, screaming) well. Everyone is good, healthy and mostly very happy, Our family and dear friends. What more can I ask for.

I wonder why… I lacked the enthusiasm in life, seems like everything also taste bland, is like asking people what is life all about… Besides sucks, it doesn’t get any better…

I don’t particularly hate my life, I just want some excitement, something that will thrill my cold heart. I am getting older by the minute and I don’t want to waste my entire time alive in this forsaken planet, living a mediocre life. I deserve more than this, I want everything and anything that I could have. Argh, I so fucking hate this life!

The only saving grace is my little Claire, seeing her growing up and cuddling with us, brought such warmth to my otherwise pathetic existence. Claire, We love you very much. Mummy and Daddy want to be the best parents you can be proud of, not a bum or another useless humans who so happen to be your biological parents. We want to be the parents you can admire; for our sacrifices, the provider of your bread & bacon, the giver of endless love, a friend and the pillar of strength, be always by your side, through life many trials & tribulation.

Be strong and be brave. Don’t be afraid; for we will always be by your side, guiding and encouraging you forward. Claire, We love you, happy 2 months old.

很想说 by 李圣杰

woo~ you are so beautiful to me

在我眼里你永远最美, 连你一个微笑也都会让我醉

你所谓的幸福我想给, 以为手不放开就是痴心绝对

太愚昧

难道, 笑容没了距离有了快乐也走了

还是真心走了彼此不信任了

终于懂了, 真的

很想说有你是幸福的

很想说我的心是你的

很想说你真的误解了

很想说你真的忘记了

My love

很想说会好好疼你的

很想说爱你是自由的

很想说你是否听见了

很想说你真的忘记了

爱了, 就有坚持理由

别说我会留在路口不会走

爱你会直到最后

很想说你是否听见了

很想说我们可不可以复合

I’M JUST A LITTLE BLUE… THAT’S ALL

3 June 2010

Hot Hot Thursday (31 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 1930 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: *Sad*

I am feeling a little depressed, a little blue. Of all the things I could have done, do it better and for the lost opportunities in life, I could have, for example do this and that but to what end…

I am hence, depressed. Because of my helplessness and a sense of hopelessness perverted my waking minutes and permeates my sleeping nights. Here I am, striving so hard to be as good as I can be and better than all mere mortals but alas, to what end…

I was on course for the past 3 days. I spent my time looking at others’ presentation and mine. I can’t help but notice some of their passion and conviction that things are and will be better. Some speak with such fervor that I secretly marvel at their speech, which I admit, seldom did/do, knowing my egoistical pride. However, most are just plain old mediocre, trying to find their way home. I don’t blame them… like I said, if everyone is Mozart, Bach, Einstein or Hilter, who be Tan Ah Kow? But I blame their fucking brains for screwing them up, pretend-play them up to be an egoistic fucker. What they do basically is sucking up, day in and out, and with a little luck along the way.

Luck, the quiessential of life. Most opportunities and special privileges start off as luck. That is why, of the things that you do, could have done it better and intending to do, you should have just stayed home and watches the turtles swim. It is more rewarding, the act itself, than anything else in the world. Like my friend who started catch-&-release fishing, you seriously cannot find better joy than this.

I kept silence the entire proceeding, while the bugs make, affirm and contest. Most people seem awestruck by one chap, dominating the entire dialogue. I could have pointed out the apparent flaws in his argument and belittled him but alas, to what end. He is my friend, a very useful ally and besides, to what end. Sure, there are pretty things in the session, there are ego-boosting opportunities abound, but like I said, to what purpose… Let the people have their Gods and they will behave.

My department internal audit was on Tuesday, where I prod, show and happily answered any questions raised. Of course, with my mighty, wise, awesome (etc) leadership, showmanship, it is obvious that I will pass with flying colour. Also, this year marks the first time I am representing the department for the Audit. So all credits and discredits will solely be… Mine. Obviously, no one, clerks or Management staffs will sabo me. I make this my personal crusade to prove to the whole fucking world that I, Mighty Woodstock, is and am more than capable to lead the department.

Needless to say, my HOD and his capable deputies (so to speak) aren’t around, conveniently disappeared in thin air (busy day they say). Even at audit closing time, my HOD was busy fidgeting with some electronic stuffs instead of paying attention. This I blame it, in its entirety on him, his laissez-faire attitude with his underlings, his ball-lessness with the many mistake people made and his overly dependent on his worthless war-mongering secretary and insecurity. He don’t care about whatever big stuffs that is/are happening around him and instead, only make time for little division, playing us against the other. What the fuck… yup, what the fuck…

As time goes by, with such a boss in charge, you think I will be so motivated to make sure my department is going to survive the various changes? I don’t think so… As I was telling my Ang-mo friend, fuck it, I’m leaving.

My one and only, sole joy in life is seeing my little Claire sleeping ever so soundly and peacefully in my arms daily (while mummy is taking her shower). And I know, when all things go south, she and my Snoopy can make it better, simply be by my side.

Daddy loves you, Snoopy and Claire. So much, so much…

I CAME TO A REALIZATION THAT NO ONE GIVES A HOOT

25 May 2010

Hot Hot Tuesday (34 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 他一定很爱你by 阿杜

Mood: *Damn”

Goodness, it is boiling hot lately. There is no coolness at all… all day and night, oh well

As usual, I have to complain about my work. My boss has becometh from bad to worst. He called in the HR manager to give us (or in his word, clarification) a talk about Off-in-lieu policies. You know what I think? He is ball-less. How can you ask HR can he give us off for this, or for that… If I’m HR Manager, of course I will cite the policies to bring my point across. Either he is gut-less to give us the leeway or he just want HR to let us know that we are basically being fucked.

How in the world has happened… It was ok in the begining, not that good, not that bad also. And now, we are being buang left right center, and all because of his ball-less-ness. Then there is Doreen. She request to be release 15min earlier on certain days, like once a week. Boss agrees. Then when his Fucked Up Secretary came to know of it, she cowpeh cowbu till everyone becometh a CB. Boss asked me to inquire from HR (yup, HR Policy again). Obviously, HR will just cite its stand based on policy, why should they bend the law just for one chap. BUT, HOD has the authority to give these leeways here and there. And yet, because he is scare shit, he wanted me to be the bearer of bad news to rescind his earlier approval. Fuck, there is no way I’m doing it. If he asks me why I no tell Doreen, I will say I busy. Which brings me to Internal Audit.

You know, after so much effort and pain, making sure every damn Quality-related information we had can pass with flying colors for the internal audit, I came to the realization that anything and everything is useless. Why? Because no one gives a damn. No one in the department, no one in the company gives a hoot. Only me, who kept worrying about how to gather all the necessary information for updates and then some more. This is truly a tragedy. Oh well, like I said, fuck it, I’m leaving.

Claire had a scare on Sunday morning. She was having a fever in the morning. So I rushed over to see her and then back for a quick shower (we decided to send her to pediatrician). After shower, the scares over, Claire fever has subsided. Oh well…. Later, I decided to visit the new Lifestyle center at Mt Faber SAFRA. Seems like damn cool like that, according to the newsletter, it is bigger and more stylo than the E-mart at Warrant officer club. So I drove 15 min to and 15 min back, paid 3 bucks for parking and all I got is a lousy T-shirt, wait, screw the T-shirt. It was not good at all. NO GOOD AT ALL. I think the Warrant Officer Club’s E-mart wins hand down…

And now how? My only joy and comfort is my little precious. My little Claire and Snoopy… Haiz…

他一定很爱你 by 阿杜

我躲在车里, 手握著香槟

想要给你, 生日的惊喜

你越走越近, 有两个声音

我措手不及, 只得楞在那里

我应该在车底, 不应该在车里

看到你们有多甜蜜

这样一来, 我也比较容易死心

给我离开的勇气

他一定很爱你, 也把我比下去

分手也只用了一分钟而已

他一定很爱你, 比我会讨好你

不会像我这样孩子气, 为难着你