The Wind In the Willow

THE LAST OF MY BAD DAY IS WHEN I MET YOU

2010-09-05T18:52:00.000+08:00

5 September 2010

Rainy Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)

Evening @ 1830 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 晚风 by 叶倩文

Mood: *My little Bundle of Joy*

Well, life’s been good, I can’t complain much, everyone dear in my life is healthy and behaving, so yup, life is good, could be better… Hmm, maybe but that’s for another day.

Still waiting for the one chance for interview, any interview but alas, better to be certain than be disappointed in the long run. You see, my present job is not exactly that bad, that will explain my apparent reluctance to move on, despite the paycheck. But because of the salary and the lack of progression, it made me so wana kick me for every day spent in the office. Nothing seems to excite me anymore, knowing fully that everything I do, it wouldn’t matter. Oh well, it used to be an exciting place to be, where I enjoy doing the things that I do, never mind that mostly, these are the discarded jobs, jobs that nobody wana do, which for all the time, falls onto my lap. After 2 long years of doing these unwanted stuffs, it disheartened me a lot and to make matter worse, there are no recognition at all. So how? I decided to move on. Since my boss doesn’t appreciate my contribution, I shall move to places where I will be appreciated and recognized.

So yes, it is time to move on. It is such a wonderful environment to retire in (my current work), no pressure and mostly, those who reports to me are good, well-behaved staffs. Superiors and scumbags are another matter but those will come to pass too. Well, whatever it is, good things come to those who waited. Who knows, the dream job where I can be stretched and excel, maximized my potential, One hundred and one percent and then some more. You never know… So I wait.

Just like meeting my beloved snoopy, good things come to those who persevere. Claire is the product of our love, literally. And Yes, can’t say we slept really well these days, but hey, no one complaining. Ever since Claire’s arrival, we have not had a good 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, but no one complaining. Nowadays she is able to response to external stimuli (like Daddy & Mummy‘s pretend-play session) and make cute sounds (voice) and mimic other gestures with her hands. It is these little things that make everything and anything all so worthwhile.

Never mind that she has deliberately or not, pinched me

Never mind that she sneezes into my face every other day

Never mind that she salivate on my hands, shirts and anywhere in close proximity to her mouth

Never mind the never mind, Claire, You little imp, daddy and mummy so love you

晚风 by 叶倩文

晚风中, 有你我的梦

风中借来一点时间紧紧拥

拥的那个梦, 像一阵风, 像一阵风

悠悠爱在风中轻轻送

我心的爱是否你心的梦

可否借一条桥让我俩相逢

在这借来的桥中, 明天的我, 明天的你

会不会在想那天上有

今晚的风, 和明天的梦

到底在你心里有多少影踪

可否这个晚上, 借来时间, 借来晚风

把我的爱送到你心中

A SMILE IS A SMILE, NEVERMIND ITS INTENT AND PURPOSE

2010-08-22T10:23:00.000+08:00

22 August 2010

Bright and Sunny Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)

Morning @ 1000 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 迷途 by 辛晓琪

Mood: *A little tired*

As usual, life goes on, with or without anyone and anything. We are no different.

Claire is growing, screaming and smiling ever so well. We just had a HFMD scare, hopefully nothing contagious will happen. What we can do now is to watch and observe the symptoms. That’s life.

Now that I am done (very much) with Remedial Training, finally I have all the time in the world to start looking for my home. Sheesh… RT is not too bad actually, if any, it helped keeping me fit and healthy when the going gets damn tough and for my case, lazy. I have not been exercising well and regularly since I ended my RT 2 weeks back. Damn… Must train hard… cannot grow fat and die, life’s too precious for that. Besides, I needed the extra energy and life-enhancing goodies that exercises (or after that) bring. Alas, I’m a little under the weather lately, therein proven that diet, never mind how nice and mouth-watering the grilled, fried and whatever-bad-for-body-but-taste-oh-so-good stuffs might be, We have to eat healthily so that we can live healthier. Period.

Speaking of which, I have hardly enough time for myself, let alone the exercise regime. Not to say I’m lazy (I’m a little) but the moment I reached home, I will be busy washing the cups/bottles/breast pumps & accessories, doing the laundry, packing in the clothes, and miraculously by multitasking all of the above. Even that, I spent like 1 - 1½ hours daily making damn sure everything falls nicely in place. At the end, I am thoroughly exhausted to do much anyway. Mummy had it tougher; feeding, pacifying and trying to get Claire to sleep snugly. Oh well, daddy does the physical aspect while mummy handle the intimate, often psychologically and mentally tiring portion of Claire’s life.

Anyway, the house hunting will play a big part in our life for these couple of months. Oh well, my only wish is to quickly get it over and done with it. Screw the government for making all the mistakes and to cover up with more of it. Yup, I know, we know, everyone knows that price of HDB is not dictated by well... HDB but market forces (Well Done capitalism!) but telling us to plan ahead (book Build-to-Order Flat years in advance) and buying one (in the resale market) that we can afford don’t really gel well with the electorate. How can one plan intimate, life changing issues years ahead? How can one foresee in the foreseeable future what it might bring? I know, it is not exactly the government’s problem that everyone gets a roof over their head, but by making it a part of HDB’s manifesto and by co-relations (HDB is government department…), it is therefore the job of the government to make sure this happen! Not by asking people to bid for their interest and then build one (some 3 years to completion)… But then, I can understand their pain; do get fuck (huge surplus years ago in Jurong West), don’t do also fuck (housing squeeze from 2007 – 2010). Seems like it is a pretty thankless job, BUT, Public officers and CEO of government-linked/Public Goods/agencies should never rub in…

Like the SMRT saga, the CEO commented that squeezing 1800 people in the carriage is no big deal and besides, the trains are not packing in their optimum capacity, why are we cowpehing here? They have made adjustment to the pricing (now based on distance) and they are losing like 88 million a year with such changes, we should be thankful! Yes, I know, we know, every fucker knows and ought to be thankful, but the presentation. The PR guys and girls should be sacked!

Well, for one, most probably you have a chauffeur or on worst case scenario, driven a luxury car. So why would you be bothered at all, the suffering of the masses? We know, all masses know, that life sucks, you don’t have to prove that point in public forum… besides, the income gap between the rich (and richer) and the poor (gini coefficiency) is rising as we speak. That means, the rich have either becoming richer, gathering a massive portion of the national income or the poor have, as a demographic, being fucked. Employment data is not helping one bit and I’m pretty amazed how the government is pretty frank about it. This is the election year and we have a mixed of good and bad news. This is kind of welcoming, who says election year must be all gays and euphoria… so how now?

We eat, sleep and hope that tomorrow be sunnier…

I WANT, I CRY, I GET

2010-07-24T20:54:00.000+08:00

24 July 2010

Dull Evening (30 Degree Celsius)

Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 沿海公路的出口 by S.H.E

Mood: *Damn Shack man*

Some happenings lately…

Saw my lady colleague jogging from home to office. Sweaty and panting, she mumbled something like “Morning”… That’s not the funny part… the funny thing is, she wasn’t wearing any bra (and how would I know?) cos her nipples were sticking out like North Korean duo missiles… Right…I JOKE. About everything… Though I wish it could be true haha.. but alas, no luck, dude, no luck.

Moving on, I visited one of the many less-than-desirable toilets lately and with a bad tummy, you couldn’t really care. Then I remembered the “Nobody” Korean song, where the singer got trapped in the toilet with no toilet papers at hand… So I did what I had to do, I CHECKED. Sure enough, no toilet paper… I change cubicle. Sometime I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…

Lately I have been working hard, physically and mentally. I was in Remedial Training for the past 2 months already and it was tough. To say its tiring and total waste of time is an understatement but then again, I got my theory confirmed; I am a winner while most people there are pretty much losers. Don’t believe? You should have seen the number of fuckers trying to slack. Well, perhaps I shouldn’t use myself as the benchmark, but I always believe this; I am already the lowest of the lowest and if I can do it; endure and excel, made it all the way to the top, EVERY FUCKERS can too. So how? You are fucked while I evolved to celestial beings. Well, Fuck this, SUCKERS!

Then I becometh sad. Saddened by one chap in the RT program. I deduced that either he has a slight mental handicap or he is anti-social, those loner and weird type. Yup, I’m a loner but safely, I don’t think I’m weird. Accelerate into the future and my kids, would they turn out otherwise? If I’m his parent, would I be sad too? There are many instances in life, where people are slightly below the average. I mean, it is bad enough to be average but to be below it really blows (no pun though). It takes a parent to know the pain of another. But I supposed everything is fated and hence whatever will be, will be. Nothing to be overly sad or happy about, it is all pre-destined and we just have to live it through.

Moving further still, Indian Chief has decided to throw in the towel. Yes, he quitted. I can’t really say I am happy or sad but hey, that’s life. He is not a bad person, in any case, even if he may not be the best worker. I have already made my stand, either you are with me or you are against me, so it’s really up to you have to make the choice. I don’t deliberately belittle or find fault with you; but if you step on my tail deliberately and consistently, you are fucked. In a nutshell, I abso-fucking-lutely hate slackers. Not all are winners, but that doesn’t mean you can be lazy.

Mummy really damn on, since the first day of pregnancy till today, she has done all that she could ever have mustered and then some more. Daily, she ate and sleeps well, watch her diet like a hawk and making sure Claire got every nutrients known and unknown to science. Then there is the Clicking Machine, twice daily without fail. Now that Claire is out, she has diligently fed her with all the nutrients, yes both known and unknown. That nutrient thing is damn hard lor, imagine having to consistently expressed the milk, every scheduled timing without fail and with so much fatigue. Mummy the best, without a doubt. Claire Claire, must love love Mummy & Daddy ok? Daddy did much of the physical chore also you know… not just being there (but it helps…)

Speaking of which I am a believer of Infant care already. Barely one month, she has been pretty well taken care and disciplined already. It’s like a boot camp. Ok, maybe it’s a little harsh but hey it works. Claire Claire, We love you, with all our hearts. You grow well, feed well and be happy, ok

We love you so much.

LITTLE BLACK RIDING HOOD…

2010-07-10T20:19:00.002+08:00

10 July 2010

Dull Evening (29 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 2030 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: *Doh*

What’s there to say, what’s there to tell… Nothing much happened these days; Claire went for her infant care already. Everything is ok, everything is fine, everything is… Yup, life’s like that.

What else? …………………………..

That’s all folks… Stay tuned. If you are lucky, you might see an entry or two… but I wouldn’t count on it.

To end, let’s do a joke, something of a tradition here…

The doctor took his patient into the room and said, “I have some good news and some bad news.”

The patient said, “Give me the good news.”

“They’re going to name a disease after you.”

WELL, DUH….

我终于失去了你 by 赵传

当所有的人离开我的时候, 你劝我要耐心等候

并且陪我渡过生命中最长的寒冬, 如此地宽容

当所有的人靠紧我的时候, 你要我安静从容

似乎知道我有一颗永不安静的心, (我)容易蠢动

我终于让千百双手在我面前挥舞

我终于拥有了千百个热情的笑容

我终于让人群被我深深的打动

我却忘了告诉你, 你一直在我心中

啊~我终于失去了你, 在拥挤的人群中

我终于失去了你, 当我的人生第一次感到光荣

啊~我终于失去了你, 在拥挤的人群中

我终于失去了你, 当我的人生第一次感到光荣

当四周的掌声如潮水一般的汹涌

我看见你眼中伤心的泪光闪动

THROUGH LIFE’S TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS

2010-06-21T21:02:00.000+08:00

21 June 2010

Hot Hot Monday (33 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 2030 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: *Shoot*

Claire is 2 months old. She’s feeding, growing and crying (most often, screaming) well. Everyone is good, healthy and mostly very happy, Our family and dear friends. What more can I ask for.

I wonder why… I lacked the enthusiasm in life, seems like everything also taste bland, is like asking people what is life all about… Besides sucks, it doesn’t get any better…

I don’t particularly hate my life, I just want some excitement, something that will thrill my cold heart. I am getting older by the minute and I don’t want to waste my entire time alive in this forsaken planet, living a mediocre life. I deserve more than this, I want everything and anything that I could have. Argh, I so fucking hate this life!

The only saving grace is my little Claire, seeing her growing up and cuddling with us, brought such warmth to my otherwise pathetic existence. Claire, We love you very much. Mummy and Daddy want to be the best parents you can be proud of, not a bum or another useless humans who so happen to be your biological parents. We want to be the parents you can admire; for our sacrifices, the provider of your bread & bacon, the giver of endless love, a friend and the pillar of strength, be always by your side, through life many trials & tribulation.

Be strong and be brave. Don’t be afraid; for we will always be by your side, guiding and encouraging you forward. Claire, We love you, happy 2 months old.

很想说 by 李圣杰

woo~ you are so beautiful to me

在我眼里你永远最美, 连你一个微笑也都会让我醉

你所谓的幸福我想给, 以为手不放开就是痴心绝对

太愚昧

难道, 笑容没了距离有了快乐也走了

还是真心走了彼此不信任了

终于懂了, 真的

很想说有你是幸福的

很想说我的心是你的

很想说你真的误解了

很想说你真的忘记了

My love

很想说会好好疼你的

很想说爱你是自由的

很想说你是否听见了

很想说你真的忘记了

爱了, 就有坚持理由

别说我会留在路口不会走

爱你会直到最后

很想说你是否听见了

很想说我们可不可以复合

I’M JUST A LITTLE BLUE… THAT’S ALL

2010-06-03T20:08:00.000+08:00

3 June 2010

Hot Hot Thursday (31 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 1930 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: *Sad*

I am feeling a little depressed, a little blue. Of all the things I could have done, do it better and for the lost opportunities in life, I could have, for example do this and that but to what end…

I am hence, depressed. Because of my helplessness and a sense of hopelessness perverted my waking minutes and permeates my sleeping nights. Here I am, striving so hard to be as good as I can be and better than all mere mortals but alas, to what end…

I was on course for the past 3 days. I spent my time looking at others’ presentation and mine. I can’t help but notice some of their passion and conviction that things are and will be better. Some speak with such fervor that I secretly marvel at their speech, which I admit, seldom did/do, knowing my egoistical pride. However, most are just plain old mediocre, trying to find their way home. I don’t blame them… like I said, if everyone is Mozart, Bach, Einstein or Hilter, who be Tan Ah Kow? But I blame their fucking brains for screwing them up, pretend-play them up to be an egoistic fucker. What they do basically is sucking up, day in and out, and with a little luck along the way.

Luck, the quiessential of life. Most opportunities and special privileges start off as luck. That is why, of the things that you do, could have done it better and intending to do, you should have just stayed home and watches the turtles swim. It is more rewarding, the act itself, than anything else in the world. Like my friend who started catch-&-release fishing, you seriously cannot find better joy than this.

I kept silence the entire proceeding, while the bugs make, affirm and contest. Most people seem awestruck by one chap, dominating the entire dialogue. I could have pointed out the apparent flaws in his argument and belittled him but alas, to what end. He is my friend, a very useful ally and besides, to what end. Sure, there are pretty things in the session, there are ego-boosting opportunities abound, but like I said, to what purpose… Let the people have their Gods and they will behave.

My department internal audit was on Tuesday, where I prod, show and happily answered any questions raised. Of course, with my mighty, wise, awesome (etc) leadership, showmanship, it is obvious that I will pass with flying colour. Also, this year marks the first time I am representing the department for the Audit. So all credits and discredits will solely be… Mine. Obviously, no one, clerks or Management staffs will sabo me. I make this my personal crusade to prove to the whole fucking world that I, Mighty Woodstock, is and am more than capable to lead the department.

Needless to say, my HOD and his capable deputies (so to speak) aren’t around, conveniently disappeared in thin air (busy day they say). Even at audit closing time, my HOD was busy fidgeting with some electronic stuffs instead of paying attention. This I blame it, in its entirety on him, his laissez-faire attitude with his underlings, his ball-lessness with the many mistake people made and his overly dependent on his worthless war-mongering secretary and insecurity. He don’t care about whatever big stuffs that is/are happening around him and instead, only make time for little division, playing us against the other. What the fuck… yup, what the fuck…

As time goes by, with such a boss in charge, you think I will be so motivated to make sure my department is going to survive the various changes? I don’t think so… As I was telling my Ang-mo friend, fuck it, I’m leaving.

My one and only, sole joy in life is seeing my little Claire sleeping ever so soundly and peacefully in my arms daily (while mummy is taking her shower). And I know, when all things go south, she and my Snoopy can make it better, simply be by my side.

Daddy loves you, Snoopy and Claire. So much, so much…

I CAME TO A REALIZATION THAT NO ONE GIVES A HOOT

2010-05-25T21:23:00.000+08:00

25 May 2010

Hot Hot Tuesday (34 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 他一定很爱你by 阿杜

Mood: *Damn”

Goodness, it is boiling hot lately. There is no coolness at all… all day and night, oh well

As usual, I have to complain about my work. My boss has becometh from bad to worst. He called in the HR manager to give us (or in his word, clarification) a talk about Off-in-lieu policies. You know what I think? He is ball-less. How can you ask HR can he give us off for this, or for that… If I’m HR Manager, of course I will cite the policies to bring my point across. Either he is gut-less to give us the leeway or he just want HR to let us know that we are basically being fucked.

How in the world has happened… It was ok in the begining, not that good, not that bad also. And now, we are being buang left right center, and all because of his ball-less-ness. Then there is Doreen. She request to be release 15min earlier on certain days, like once a week. Boss agrees. Then when his Fucked Up Secretary came to know of it, she cowpeh cowbu till everyone becometh a CB. Boss asked me to inquire from HR (yup, HR Policy again). Obviously, HR will just cite its stand based on policy, why should they bend the law just for one chap. BUT, HOD has the authority to give these leeways here and there. And yet, because he is scare shit, he wanted me to be the bearer of bad news to rescind his earlier approval. Fuck, there is no way I’m doing it. If he asks me why I no tell Doreen, I will say I busy. Which brings me to Internal Audit.

You know, after so much effort and pain, making sure every damn Quality-related information we had can pass with flying colors for the internal audit, I came to the realization that anything and everything is useless. Why? Because no one gives a damn. No one in the department, no one in the company gives a hoot. Only me, who kept worrying about how to gather all the necessary information for updates and then some more. This is truly a tragedy. Oh well, like I said, fuck it, I’m leaving.

Claire had a scare on Sunday morning. She was having a fever in the morning. So I rushed over to see her and then back for a quick shower (we decided to send her to pediatrician). After shower, the scares over, Claire fever has subsided. Oh well…. Later, I decided to visit the new Lifestyle center at Mt Faber SAFRA. Seems like damn cool like that, according to the newsletter, it is bigger and more stylo than the E-mart at Warrant officer club. So I drove 15 min to and 15 min back, paid 3 bucks for parking and all I got is a lousy T-shirt, wait, screw the T-shirt. It was not good at all. NO GOOD AT ALL. I think the Warrant Officer Club’s E-mart wins hand down…

And now how? My only joy and comfort is my little precious. My little Claire and Snoopy… Haiz…

他一定很爱你 by 阿杜

我躲在车里, 手握著香槟

想要给你, 生日的惊喜

你越走越近, 有两个声音

我措手不及, 只得楞在那里

我应该在车底, 不应该在车里

看到你们有多甜蜜

这样一来, 我也比较容易死心

给我离开的勇气

他一定很爱你, 也把我比下去

分手也只用了一分钟而已

他一定很爱你, 比我会讨好你

不会像我这样孩子气, 为难着你

HAPPY ONE MONTH OLD, MY LITTLE PRINCESS

2010-05-15T18:52:00.001+08:00

15 May 2010

Dull Saturday (32 Degree Celsius)

Evening @ 1730 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 他一定很爱你by 阿杜

Mood: *Heee”

Today is Claire’s baby shower. It was a long & tiring morning till afternoon, with so many things to bring, many more things to bring back; gifts, presents, etc. On hindsight, I should have just bought the “SUV”. That way, I can throw everything into the car boot without a worry. Oh well…

We had the blessing of so many friends whom we held so dear to; secondary school friends, army friends, poly friends, working colleagues (whom shall be affectionately known as BBs; or bad buddies), and many many others. Thank you for the kindest generosity and for those that didn’t make it, its ok, you are eligible for parole much later in my little black book.

Work wise, not very good man. I mean the work itself is ok, slightly busy than usual, but all is good. Just a little bit (or make that damn) pissed that my boss belittled me… it goes like this:

One HOD send an email to my boss, inviting him and all the management staffs (like Woodstock) to an outdoor event and followed by a celebratory chill out. All these are official event, mind you. Then it happened… My boss invited all management staffs in the department and for some fuck reason, he actually carbon copy it to me (or Cc). As you know, logic states that those in Cc list are usually for… FOR FUCKING INFORMATION ONLY. And why is he sending me an invite or telling me there is such an invite (For Information only?) if he has no inclination to extend the invitation out to me?

Naturally, I was boiling mad, swearing vengeance. But one thing I learn in life; endure and seek greener pasture in silence. Nothing much to protest or make a big fuss over, really. Just smile and PRETEND nothing has and will happen. I could do a transfer but guessing his pettiness, I reckoned he would rather “resign me” than letting me do a transfer. It looks bad on his record and besides, people will question his ability to retain such a MIGHTY staff…

But you know what I think? Fuck it, I’m leaving.

Yup, too bad, it is your pettiness that nails it. My company is one of the best companies to work in, pay aside, the work is seriously Ok… Not that stressful, got wonderful colleague to talk cock and sing song. He always says he is a nice guy, that why he gave chances and turns a blind eye to some atrocities committed by his WONDERFUL Staffs. But I know his working style, he always divide the masses and conquer. Oh well, go forth and divide them, for I don’t give a shit anymore. Because?

Fuck it, I’m leaving

Yes, Literally.

But Claire Claire & Mummy… Don’t worry, Daddy will make sure, ensure and be sure that I will signed on the dotted line for the next job before I “fuck it, I’m leaving” the current one. I need to bring the bacon and bread home daily. I could eat a little less, go without the car or even my dinner/Lunch/Breakfast, but my Claire Claire & Mummy can’t. They shouldn’t and wouldn’t. As long as Daddy is around, you will not go hungry and cold. This is Daddy promises to you.

Oh yes, on the smoking note, I am smoke free for 5 months and counting. It was hard naturally, whoever say giving up smoking is easy ought to be shot. It is something so personal and intimate to me at least for I always smoke because I’m sad and I’m sad because I smoke. The sticks have accompanied me thru the many cold and lonely nights, thru many great trials and tribulation. So to give up my cigarettes is like giving up a part of me. The deeply scar, emotionally tragic, painfully lonely part of me. But still, it is for the better. My Claire shall grow up in a smoke free environment.

I love you so much, Mummy & Claire Claire. Be strong

THE DAY I GOT SCREWED BY NATURE

2010-05-09T20:28:00.002+08:00

9 May 2010

Cool Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)

Late Evening @ 1930 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: *Boo hoo”

This has been a sucky week. Yes, it is, no doubt about it. Firstly, I was insomnia on Tuesday night, the whole damn night I was practically lying on bed looking at the sky (or if you prefer… ceiling…). As obvious, I was very very tired the entire Wednesday and guess what? I was invited (as a gap filler) to AVA 10th Anniversary Dinner at Shangri la. Wau liew eh, I practically on steroid for 36 hours continuously and still must go for some stupid dinner… And when I thought it couldn’t be much worse… I sat next to my Chief Executive. No choice lah, I small talk with him the entire night. By 11pm, all humans practically emptied the hall and guess what, he actually ordered a 3rd bottle of red. And since he is the chief, no one dare to leave early, which is sad, cos I am that close of being zombiefied. Finally at 1130pm, we left for home…

Reach home, shower and slept less than 4 hours before I left for work at 4am again. Why? Because I have to bring home the bacon for Claire and mummy. I joke, I joke… I was on duty and hence, you know, the works… And to cap my week of shag-ness, I was down with a severe allergy on Thursday morning onwards and was sneezing my life away. And guess what, I actually ran out of my usual antihistamine… so in between clamoring for whatever life I left, I decided that it is for the better that I go seek solace at the pharmacy. So I left for lunch early, hoping to buy some antihistamine and OH MY STAR STAR, the pharmacist only arrive 1pm!! That’s like 1 hour away! And the staffs refused (rightly also lah) to dispense the drugs (cos it’s like illegal…). In between sneezes and more sneezes, I’m really surprise I didn’t die…

Went home, pop a powerful pill and slept for 12 hours straight.

Really, I am surprise and rather pleasantly, I didn’t die from all the lack of sleep and allergies. Body only a little tired from all the sneezing and well, I live to fight another day.

And when I thought I couldn’t go anywhere south-er, it was screwed by nature. Yes, today I went to work at 3am, slog my guts till 8am, Somehow along the way, I decided that, hmm, my spare clothes and towel needs some washing, so I conveniently brought them home for washing. I returned to office in the afternoon again and woah, it started raining. And by Star Star, it really fucking rain like cats and dogs fucking around. One thing I learn; you don’t fuck with nature. I was drenched to my underwear while doing what I was supposed to do and YES, you guess it, my spare clothes are sitting at home, enjoying the warmth and comfort while me, yours truly have to make do with paper towel, wet wet underwear and clothes. Oh well, that’s life.

Moving on, because of my hectic week and poor health, I missed seeing my daughter and mummy for 3 consecutive days. And when I do see her on Friday, oh boy, did she grow! Somehow, for some unexplained reasons, I thought she looks bigger, brighter and prettier haha… Ok, now you know…

Its mother’s day today…fwah, its Mother’s Day!

Happy Mummy’s Day, Mummy and My Mummy (you know, my mother...).

Claire Claire, be good and sleep tight. Daddy will kill all the bed bugs. Mummy sleep tight too. Woodstock miss miss Snoopy and Claire Claire

Good Night and sweetest dreams

A GOOD FRIEND WILL COME AND BAIL YOU OUT OF JAIL, A TRUE FRIEND WILL BE SITTING NEXT TO YOU SAYING “DAMN, WE ARE FUCKED…”

2010-05-02T11:07:00.001+08:00

2 Mayl 2010

Cool Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)

Late Morning @ 1000 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 很想说 by 李圣杰

Mood: "Smile… ok, I lied"

I am always amazed and impressed by people of learned and charisma. Though I have far and few intellectual spars, I always loved a good conversation that does not consist of materialistic gains and capitalist pillage. Anyway, I guess these exchanges will have to wait (till it arises from the ash, yes, just like the Phoenix). There is a reason why 99.9% of the population only talk cock and sing song, just imagine, if every fucker talk like some economics/geo-spatial/political analyst, how ol’ boring can that be… Seriously, how interesting can “Let’s hold hands and save Africa be”…

You know, by including something so insignificant like “Essentially” to a sentence, you make it instantaneously significant.

The Property market will go up and go down…

Compare to : Essentially, the property market will go up and down…

Wanted to use vis-à-vis instead of compare to (oh yes, now I speaks French) but then, why?

Yes, the WHY. Essentially, everything we do, intend to do and have done revolve around the mighty why… Why this, why that, why ask? And the evergreen Why Bother…

Even looking at the Songs I enjoyed these days makes me old and useless. I have wasted 30 years of my life and I don’t even know would I have another 30 to make an impact on my life and of others. I want and love money (who Don’t) and I wish to have a better materialistic life, for myself and family. All I need is that God-given opportunity (Sorry God, blasphemy again). And I promised I shan’t screw it up. In my previous post, I noted the importance of my strength in Intellectual insights, administrative efficiency and the good ol’ Roll-up-my-sleeves and just do it. But then, to what ends… I am always cast as another Good, highly intelligent worker then later pass over for promotion. Is it sometime that I did not do? If so, what? Oh well, should have just stick to being a mediocre clerk and not give myself so much heartache. Because at the end of the day, what I would like to achieve and excel?

Oh on that screw note, you know we are classified as a screw worm infested country? Yup, don’t ask me why, maybe some lazy US health officials just convenient cluster us up with other less-developed Countries. In any case, I’m not surprise, 99.9% of them don’t even know where Singapore is, let alone even see how fucking metropolitan we are. In my 3 years in US, of all the people I met, some 50% have never traveled out of their countries (by choice or lack of it), 25% cannot pinpoint the location (or heard of Singapore, other than China, but I digress) and some 24% of the remnants lack the expertise and knowledge understanding life (other than the American way). You be amazed to know that only a mere 1% of their population (like 1 million of them) actually spurs their economy toward First World Leadership. But hor, after the Banking crisis, think half of those are either lurched, in prison or somewhere in Caribbean’s)… So how, US is fucked.

I just loved to see and talk to my little princess; how peaceful she sleeps, how much she response to our conversation, many a times, just watching over her. Yup, Claire Claire, like daddy says, God will send his Angels to watch over you when Daddy & Mummy are away (even for the briefest period). Don’t be afraid, be strong and we will be right back with you. I am guessing during her first day of Infant Care, it will be Mummy whom I shall have to comfort, rather than Claire.

Claire, Mummy & Daddy love you ever so much.

It’s my buddy birthday come 4th May. Dude, Happy Birthday and May we be rich and powerful. Well, at least we tried, never mind the efforts and results.

THIS ONE, THAT ONE, WHICH ONE?

2010-04-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

29 April 2010

Hot & the Rainy Thursday (30 Degree Celsius)

Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 爱要怎么说出口 by 赵传

Mood: *Ok lor”

Been a week since Claire’s arrival. Boy, did we do a lot. We changed the diapers, fed her well, shower time, pat pat her… Yup, the works. Next off to pediatrician for checks, Gynecologist checks and registering for Infant Care etc etc… Sometime, in between all the hustle and bustle of handling my little princess, there is no better joy and serenity in life just watching her falling asleep in her little cot. The peacefulness of her sleep just makes Daddy & Mummy hard work seems all worthwhile.

Our little princess is feeding well, growing well and behaving not too badly (For now). Still, I must constantly remind Mummy’s relatives not to pat/hug/carry her at her slightest provocation/tantrum. Lest she got used to the attention and becometh a habit, then how? Daddy die lor, must carry and hug her every now and then. Still, seeing her screaming her lungs out (for whatever reasons) does pain us… So looks like we are in for a nice run… Whatever that means…

To make life more interesting, during her first checkup at Thomson, apparently she needed some tests that require some of her blood; the nurse prick her little sole. Then lo & behold, Mummy went crying together with her. It is like both felt the pain of the needle… So daddy how? Daddy pat pat both of them and had a family hug, awwww….

Been popping over to Mummy’s in-law house everyday without fail, except for Saturday night where daddy was down with a slight cold. But then, I brought Grandma over to see Claire in the afternoon so technically still got to see Claire.

Our little Princess has been quite cute, save for some tiny winy attitude so far. Just like Daddy, seriously; she has no patience, have this “Gor Tak” little face, breathing ever so hard, big round eyes, fleshy ears and nose. Haha, got prosperous look. Oh well, hopefully she will turn out smart, kind and gentle. What else can we hope for…

Anything else beside those? Well, I had an episode of PMSing yesterday. I can’t really put a word to it, but I have been dragging my feet to work lately. There’s no joy and motivation for me to continue working and working hard. Especially so after Claire’s arrived. After so many years of education, I am reduce to being a buggy boy, an errant boy and worst (or slightly better, depending on perspective), a Chief Clerk. I needed more than these, I deserve more than these… I am neither lazy, nor stupid. I am fucking smart, hardworking and resourceful; Damn it, I need more challenges, more stimulation, more Money! I am so much better than the entire club’s fuckers, I deserve more than these!!

But then somewhere along the way, shit happens and now I’m reduced to such a state. Sometime, I should be thankful with whatever God’s bring forth. Ignorance is Bliss… Stupidity is Bliss-er.

For the happy people in life, rock on!

爱要怎么说出口 by 赵传

我痛啊...

叫我怎么能不难过, 你劝我灭了心中的火, 我还能够怎么说, 怎么说都是错

你对我说, 离开就会解脱, 试着自已去生活,

试着找寻自我, 别再为爱蹉跎

只是爱要怎么说出口, 我的心里好难受, 如果能将你拥有, 我会忍住不让眼泪流

第一次握你的手, 指尖传来你的温柔

每一次深情眼光的背后, 谁知道会有多少愁多少愁

如果要我, 把心对你解剖, 只要改变这结果

我会说我愿意做, 我受够了寂寞

PRESENTING, MS CLAIRE CLAIRE!!!

2010-04-22T19:26:00.000+08:00

22 April 2010

Hot & the Rainy Thursday (35 Degree Celsius)

Evening @ 1850 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 纪念 by Tanya Chua

Mood: *Wooohoo!”

First and foremost, let me welcome the newest addition to my family; Claire! Yup, on 20 April 2010, Claire was born. The wait was worth it, every bit of it.

The Chronology of events goes like this

Monday, 19 April 2010 at 1400hrs – We were at Dr Ang’s clinic for a routine check. Just 2 days ago on Saturday, we had our check already but then he say must double confirm, so got a half day leave and went for a CTG scan. Spent 1 hour hooked onto the machine and the scan turns out to be normal, everything was ok (or so we thought). We even have time to go IMM jalan jalan. Then came the initial scare, Mummy suddenly got a cramp, which evolved to a pain and then to more pain while Daddy was in between contemplating whether to go for my routine run or not…

1700hrs – Mummy don’t feel good, kept cringing and tossing around in bed… Daddy figures he shouldn’t go for the run, just in case…

1730hrs – Pain quicken but Mummy managed to take a quick bath (might be last bath for a long time) while Daddy prepare some makan (for us… since it might also take a while…). Mummy no appetite so Daddy (being the official garbage disposal) ate all up (Yup, it might take a while you know…). Anyway, Daddy showered second time in 1 hour, just because he was virtually in perspiration mode the whole while; preparing Mummy for shower, makan, wash clothes, hang clothes, just to make sure, ensure that everything gona be ok.

1800hrs – Called Dr Ang and he casually mentioned to check into the hospital at 2230hrs only. No need to rush (in his words). But hor, Mummy really in deep agony and hence, with our lack of options and in all Daddy’s wisdom, it is for the better that we go to Hospital now, rather than later, especially when Mummy can still limp to car…

1840hrs – after much difficulty, we managed to reach car. It rained like nobody business and guess what? Daddy forgot his car key… so lan lan, quickly rush back home for it.

1850hrs – finally drove off to Hospital. Stuck in rush hour, together with heavy rain, it’s a recipe for SLOW DRIVE the whole of fucking PIE… It’s ok, the ride was still smooth (by any account).

1930hrs – reach hospital, do admission, give credit card (yes, you need deposit, this is Singapore), credit card approved, signed my life-away-documents, then nurse wheel Mummy to ward. Imagine if you got no money, damn broke or shit happens, how? Welcome to Singapore! Too bad for you

2000hrs – Anyway, nurses called Dr Ang, wait in ward while the next door neighbor was celebrating her birth with the entire clan worth of people. That is why I wanted a One Bedded… Sigh… Shit happens and we are stuck with 2 (at the price of 4 bedded anyway… why? Because I am especially nice to everyone). Besides, you never know what might happen… especially so in a hospital… ANYWAY, Dr Ang finally turns up at 2230hrs (how convenient) and commented that it is still too early… Mummy cannot be dripped (epidural – since it is way too early) and so how now? Lan lan, Mummy stayed in ward while Daddy went home for a quick shut eye.

Tuesday, 20 April 2010, 0300hrs - Mummy’s SMS came in; Mummy going into labour ward soon, cannot have cellphone (some interference thingy). Wonderfully half-asleep Daddy misread it as Mummy is in Labour. Damn, Daddy was about to wake up at 0430hrs anyway, so how? Quickly showered and drove down in record time of 15 min to Hospital.

0430hrs – Saw Mummy, realized my mistake and slumped onto the cold waiting chair beside her.

0600hrs – Dr Ang drop by for his ward visit. Lament that the dilation for the whole night is too slow and recommend having the induction going. Now, Mummy is feeling feverish and unwell. A dose of Antibiotics should do the trick.

0630hrs – Slept a bit at the family waiting lounge. Unlike the labour wards, this place is slightly warmer… Only slightly…

0700hrs – Tummy growling and figure that it hasn’t been fed for the past 12 hours, so took across the bridge for breakfast (it sucks by the way). Came back feeling all oily. Pat Mummy a bit and went wandering about…

0800hrs – Had second breakfast (Sucks big time) that cost me like 10 bucks (double sucky). Why? Because Daddy got nothing better to do… It is wait and wait somemore

0830hrs – Pat Mummy again

0900hrs – Read papers, slept a bit, read paper backwards, Exploring my Nokia N97 and its wonders… battery dying after intense usage… regretful and hoping it wouldn’t die…

1130hrs – Check on Mummy, fever down, still feeling weak.

1200hrs – Went back to lounge for drinks… read papers inversely

1230hrs – decided to pat Mummy but to my horror, she is not in her ward. Panic mode, ask Mummy’s whereabouts at reception only to find out she is in delivery ward (anytime SOON!!)

1235hrs – found her, fuck the nurses for NOT telling me… I joke I joke, we needed the nurses more than they needed us, so you do the math. ANYWAY, nurse demonstrated how to do the push and let us figure out the pushing on our own (must practice)

1245hrs – Dr Ang came in, joke about doing 4 deliveries today, and something like God is kind to him, because he go bible study class recently… DUH… No one actually notice his jokes (except for me) I am neither the one in labour, or the helpers, the only Jo Bo Lan chap in the entire room, so OF COURSE I GET HIS JOKES lah

1250hrs – same thing, tell us to push, push harder, push somemore, push like you never shit in days (his exact words… funny guy)… while I am just there, going through the motion.

XXXXhrs – Suddenly Dr Ang gave the last burst, and out came Claire and onto Mummy’s lap! Woo, the whole 1 min thereafter is pretty surreal. I wasn’t expecting it to be out so soon (watch too many dramas, thought baby will need some pushing – a lot, before popping out). Nurses kept gesturing me to take the time of birth, Dr Ang passed me the scissors for the umbilical cord cut, all the while seeing Mummy smiling weakly, Claire crying, nurses running around…

1310hrs – Weigh Claire, go back room, all tidied up, blood stains here and there but basically, its cleaned. Dr Ang move on to his 2nd delivery of the day… damn efficient I tell you

1315hrs – Phone grandma, Mummy’s relations, sms friends and finally, at 1400hrs, can sigh a relieve… by then Grandma arrive in record time to, just to catch a glimpse of Claire …

The rest of the time was pretty autopilot. Friends and relatives all gather around, Hiok came, Han’s with his family (awww, handsome little Raph), Chris too. In all, we collected like hundreds of bottled Chicken essences, ginseng-ed Bird Nest, Fish essences etc etc, with some toys here and there. James came too, with his BIG ang bao, more essences and a bright little sunflower. Daniel and GF too, on the second day.

With Those, I ended my story, for today. Claire, We love you.

SUCH IS LIFE

2010-04-12T20:28:00.000+08:00

12 April 2010

Hot & Humid Monday (33 Degree Celsius)

Early Night @ 1950 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 纪念 by Tanya Chua

Mood: *Sian, Sibei Sian”

Such is life. Yup, today got “last-min-then-tell-me” information and I had to do everything in my power to get it out. Then again, I’m a great actor/information processor; nothing will make me look damn bad in front of bosses. I digest the information as it comes and figure out what all the rackets and hell is/are all about. Damn, I’m brilliant! Always try to keep information from me, right? Never expect me to pick it up along the way and actually understanding it right? Nabei, KNNFB But that’s life and at least I am doing something remotely productive, even if I hated the idea of last minute stuffs. Oh well…

Went to hose my car down, too dirty and besides, I spotted a little spider crawling around. Double damn. After that, pick up wife, reach home, gave a stupid “I-don’t-want-to-jog-cos-looks-like-rain- coming” excuse and bingo… I ate dinner. Maybe, just maybe, I might go for a jog later but we’ll see. For your information, there is no rain, NOT even a drop of condensation, if you must.

Oh dear, wife is vomiting now, think the little princess is churning around. Haiz, little Claire Claire misbehaved again… what to do… Hang in there baby and Wife. Wish I could be of some help but alas, its better to keep my mouth shut with the least trouble as possible, in case wife agonized over my everything and anything. Such is life

Just got her some warm water to drink. Sometime, I wonder, it is these little gestures that I would never dream of doing. If I wanted anything in the past, I will get it myself and not rely on other’s generosity or kindness/bo-pian-ness. But now, my life priorities have changed. It’s Wife, Daughter, Mom, then me. Gosh, how low in the food chain have I demoted to.

Gosh, I am about to be a father, a Dad. When I come home next time, someone will rush towards me, grab me by the leg and scream out “Daddy! Daddy!” Gosh, I am gona be a dad! Gee, the adrenaline drive makes my head a little light… Steady man, Steady… Everything will be just OK.

Claire, be nice. Treat other’s with the same kindness as your Mom & Dad would have. Be sincere and above all, love yourself. That’s all I am asking… Loving you ever so much, little Claire.

纪念 by Tanya Chua

想念变成一条线, 在时间里面蔓延

长得可以把世界切成了两个面

他在春天那一边, 你的秋天刚落叶, 刚落叶

如果从此不见面, 让你凭记忆想念

本来这段爱情可以记得很完美

他的样子已改变, 有新伴侣的气味, 的气味

那一瞬间你终于发现, 那曾深爱过的人(嗯)~~

早在告别的那天, 已消失在这个世界

也许那一次见面, 是生命给你机会

了解爱只是人所渴望的投射面

只是渴望会改变, 他的爱已经不见已不见

那一瞬间你终于发现, 心中的爱和思念

都只是属于自己曾经拥有过

曾经拥有过曾经拥有过的纪念

DON’T LISTEN TO BEAR, HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A RICH BEAR?

2010-04-06T21:56:00.002+08:00

6 April 2010

Sunny Tuesday (33 Degree Celsius)

Late Night @ 2150 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 空白格 by Tanya Chua

Mood: *Yawn”

Today was fucking boring. To say its B.O.R.I.N.G is an understatement… I practically went for toilet break like every ½ hour… And I got no one to chat with… DAMN… I could, in theory, chat with my clerks but they already so short of time for departments’ works (unlike their lobo boss) and by talking to them, they are obliged (for obvious reason) to entertain me… It is already sucky trying to make their life difficult by implementing controls and obstacles to eating snakes, now they have to waste time entertaining me? I joke I joke… I shall eat snake alone then… What to do…

And if things can’t go any south-er, my fucking department secretary called me at 1.45pm and so kanchiongly say its Dr Kieran’s Birthday (errm, ok), quickly come to meeting room to celebrate (right…)… Now, quickly come now… (oh, like I Care…) haha, you seriously think I care and really wana go? So I did what I do best, I leisurely reply one email, slowly drag my big fat ass out of the cubicle and sluggishly shashay into the meeting room, just in time for group photo… Ya, like I fucking care… too bad, I go because I was bored, seriously… Why you think I bother to go if I am busy? Even though it is like only 30secs worth of walk, not even burning 10 calories, come and think of it.

Annual Increment sucks and I did not get my promotion, thereby confirming my theory that not only you have to suck up to big bosses but also need to have reciprocity. Meaning to say if you got the right connection and the right audience, even if you scale one molehill, people will applause. If you got nothing, don’t say molehill, even 10 Everest also people yawn in their seat. Oh well, life is as such and we can only endure and carry on. That paycheck, no matter how bad and pathetic, do come in handy every month end. No really…

The only saving grace? My boss is on 2 days off. Boy, did that helps a lot. No boss around, the time seems easier to pass. What else I do? Think I’m down with a slight (for now) cold. Damn, it sucks being sick and can’t do my training. Oh yes, did I tell you I am training hard (for my age), don’t know for what purpose but guess I wanted to feel the muscle soreness and pain of my earlier years. I hope I can really tahan and endure till next ICT and make it part of my lifestyle. I gave up smoking for Claire Claire and Mommy and have had to find things to fill up the void, BINGO, what can be better than exercise and training to have the nicest taut body? Maybe not taut lah, but fit. I too, missed the sensation of pain and agony, yes, those feelings that accompanied me through the long lonely nights of my younger years. I joke I joke. No, seriously, as much as I long for the fitness of my younger years, guess whatever it is, I have to slowly find it back and be contented with whatever I can achieve.

On that note (The contentment, not fitness), Seow was telling us after the yearly disappointment; be contented lah. Somehow I wish I could agree with him but alas, we are but mere mortal, blinded by greed and lust for power & money, and more money & power… Sigh… we are doomed to fail… to bring my point succinctly across, let’s put it this way; if its not for LOSERS running amok amongst us, how you differentiate me from them? Seriously, it’s like Pigs, doing nothing but eat, sleep, fuck and then eat somemore, sleep somemore and (yes) fuck, but I digress.

Oh yes, little Claire Claire, remember to eat up and grow big big, ok? Wait mummy worry about you being a small small little princess during birth. Don’t worry the already worried mind of Mummy ok? Just like Daddy, everything also eat, anywhere also can sleep and anything also ok (maybe not anything but close). Be strong, Beautiful and smart like Daddy & Mummy… Ignore our little flaws along the way, ok?

Yes, We love you ever so much.

LOOKS LIKE WE MADE IT, LOOK HOW FAR WE'VE COME MY BABY

2010-04-04T20:44:00.001+08:00

4 April 2010

Rainy Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)

Late Night @ 2050 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 永远永远 by 李翊君

Mood: *Like that lor”

I better finished off the last touch and get my wedding chronicles out before Claire Claire is due. I really should stop procrastination.

First off, I was a little apprehensive the night before. For some unexplained reason, I felt I had let my little snoopy down. For the longest time, I reckoned that it is in every girl’s dream that the wedding entails glittering events for the entire day & night, coupled with fireworks and such. For that given one day, she is the princess, the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world.

Yet, we had to make do with every human and humanely possible ways, given the short time frame. But I’m glad we did. Through trials and tribulation, (well, not exactly that dramatic), we managed to make this the most beautiful time of our life thy far (Less the birth of our baby)

I hope our closest friends and relatives whom attended and gave their blessings would count our wedding event as one of their more (if not most) memorable ones. Food aside (yes, every one gave their two thumbs up for the wonderful, albeit expensive wedding dinner), we are overwhelmed with the kindest support and well wishes from everyone. We are blessed with your friendship. Thank you.

Oh yes, how I can forget to include those emotional moments; my mom cried during the customary tea ceremony (later it was Lena’s aunt, then Mom again during the solemnization…). During solemnization, I joke joke a little, Lena cried during the ceremony, I laugh again at my jokes, she bit my arm, we frown a little, she bite somemore, we smile and kissed at the end of all.

It was perfect. Sharing a little hug and kisses with the love of my life after our solemnization ceremony.

And now, all we have to do and we are all ready and prepared; For our beloved Claire Claire’ arrival. Hopefully the big white stork will not eat snake and be on time.

I love you

You’re still the one by Shania Twain

When I first saw you, I saw love.

And the first time you touched me, I felt love.

And after all this time, you're still the one I love

Looks like we made it, look how far we've come my baby

We might have took the long way, we knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"

But just look at us holding on

We're still together still going strong

(You're still the one) You're still the one I run to

The one that I belong to, You're the one I want for life

(You're still the one) You're still the one that I love

The only one I dream of, You're still the one I kiss goodnight

Ain't nothing better, we beat the odds together

I'm glad we didn't listen, look at what we would be missing

I'm so glad we made it

Look how far we've come my baby

A GOOD-BYE IS ONLY PAINFUL IF YOU KNOW YOU'LL NEVER SAY HELLO AGAIN

2010-04-03T22:21:00.002+08:00

3 April 2010

Rainy Saturday (29 Degree Celsius)

Late Night @ 2150 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 永远永远 by 李翊君

Mood: *Tired”

Might as well… I simply refused to sleep early last night. Come on, it’s the long holidays, and despite having to work on Friday, it is still a long weekend! So I did what I had to do and only drag my simply-cannot-take-it-anymore body to bed at 1am. Damn, 1am it’s like the new 9pm for 95% of the population…. That is why also most look like zombie daily. Yup I go to bed daily from 11 to 6 so that I feel like a fucking winner every day. It’s really your call… to be a winner or a wuss. The choice is clear.

Friday after work, each home all tired. Work aside, I might have trained a little too much on Wednesday. My leg cramped in the middle of Thursday morning and arms sore till Friday night. But it is good shit. I kind of enjoyed these pains, been a while since I felt anything so alive… No wonder people around me called me weird little bird… including my wife

Today early morning brought Mom for her medical appointment which stretched till noon and I had to rush off for our first house viewing after that. Well, at least can get to see a couple of houses before making that important plunge. But the price and that CB cash over valuation, oh my god, how on earth can anyone even afford an apartment now without slogging within an inch of their life… Well it used to be like that, presently, even if you slogged till your last breath, don’t even know whether can survive the rat race and keeping all the joneses happy or not.

Still, like the government used to say, its all your fault. Oh really? Yes, Who ask you to believe in them; believing in their promises to provide a roof over your fucking head and bring home the bacon or bread (for those fucking minority bastard)… You be lucky if they don’t tax you for having sex.

I am so disappointed with the government. We serve with sweat and blood, our prime years wasted in national defence and now, I cannot even afford the basic necessity in life. Oh well, like they say, I aim too high lah, why aim so high and think like a winner? Why don’t I just settle for ghetto or slums… that way, I can still have my rotten bread and moldy bacon and eat it. In short, it’s our fucking fault.

Enough said, I shall be nice for the remaining of the days and be thankful for everything.

Claire Claire, my beloved Claire Claire… Honey Honey, My beloved Honey…

My love and my life, Daddy misses you so muchie… Eat well, sleep better and we’ll be waiting for your arrival in 4 weeks time. Till then, we love you.

永远永远 by 李翊君

一直以为自己可以很坚强, 原来和你一样害怕着孤单

没有你的夜晚, 星星和我一样彷徨, 挂在天上, 忽明又忽暗

不知不觉窗外的天已变亮, 原来醒的时间越来越长

没有你的异乡, 只有冷风陪我流浪, 我怕我的思念, 游不过这片海洋

别对我说永远, 永远, 永远, 永远是太昂贵的誓言

我握不住也看不见, 最后随着浪涛消失不见

别对我说永远, 永远, 永远, 永远不是我要的明天

你爱过我就已足够, 就算到了最后爱已搁浅, 只求你留我在你心田

因为太了解所以很伤心, 没有你只好听着风的呼吸

2010-04-01T22:01:00.004+08:00

1 April 2010

Grey Thursday (32 Degree Celsius)

Late Night @ 2150 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 了解 by 孙燕姿

Mood: *Normal”

Lena went for a quick gynecology check and to settle our otherwise rattling hearts, the doctor decided to do a CTG (Scan for contraction, heart rate and stuff). We stayed under observation in ward for about 1 ½ hour. At least that got us assured that everything is ok. Naughty little baby…

Went back to office and faced with a complaint of harassment. I literally screwed the culprit and make sure that it never ever happens again, at least not under my watch. Everyone was perked up by it, what can be a better way to end the long weekend. Alas, I am on duty tomorrow but still, it’s a good holiday. Oh yes, I got like 3% increment, some say it is not even enough for a bottle of red (wow, must be damn expensive kind). Well, don’t complain lah, might as well move on. And that is precisely what I going to do… Just give me the opportunity…

Of course, things don’t just fall from heaven, unlike shit, so how? I shall actively hunt for my job; not necessarily a dream job, but something that will bring enable me to bring home bigger bacon and more bread. Yup, at a ripe old age of 32 and I can barely afford life’s wonders. KNNFB and all I can ever blame is myself; for fucking up my life big time.

I am not a loser, not stupid or lazy and I shall prove to the world that I am destined for greater things.

Watch this space.

了解 by 孙燕姿

等于结束的爱情

我和你从两个窗口看出去

往事远远地, 演着一场无声的电影　

没人注意

躲着回忆的生体　

带领我和你的名字向前进

作废的曾经, 留在离开你那天, 挥不去

因为太了解所以很伤心　

没有你只好听着风的呼吸

却有种叫做时间的东西　

说没问题, 最后我们会痊癒

因为太了解我无法坚定　

这一次会要掉眼泪的决定

有些遗憾只能一个人听

很对不起, 我还是珍惜

所有的事情

EAT WELL, STAY FIT, DIE ANYWAY…

2010-01-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

6 January 2010
Dreamy Wednesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Evening @ 2000 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 四季by黄丽玲
Mood: *Woops”

Nowadays damn lazy for everything and anything. At work, do everything I can muster, reach home, slack till bed time. I don’t even find thrill in anything than just idle behind my laptop and surfing around aimlessly. Like a firefly; euphoric about the fucking light on my ass, thinking of the endless possibility my ass can be, in the end, I’m only fucking myself…

Moving on, my wedding preparation… We did the necessary first and what could be more important than breaking the news to our Moms. Maybe I have seen too many Chinese serial dramas (bad I tell you); holly cow, MOMs didn’t kick my ass as logic would dictate. Well, after getting all the necessity out of the way, we started on the wedding planning.

Han recommended a 2 months’ timeline to complete the entire proceeding; including the customary wedding man! Along the way, we also discover this little known fact/problem about our dear old Registry of Marriage law where it has a mandatory 3 week notice posting on its website (for people to object lah… In line with the law, whatever that means). It kind of shorten the already shorten phase. We have had to get all these out within 2 months or before her tummy gets a little obvious.

But we are Super Mom & Dad. Following this SUPER reason, one full month was all we needed. Amazingly but true and it supported my hypothesis that

1. Humans are basically fuckers… why?
2. Because give them too many choices, and their brain freezes… (read Inefficiently dumb)

Choices (or lacked of it) make it easier for everyone. Luckily for us, we got the bridal package, wedding dinner, nitty gritty details all ironed out (with numerous trips to the gynecologist included) within the first 3 weeks, leaving one whole week to relax one corner. It wasn’t easy; tempers flare, tears were lost, hands were bitten (I joke I joke)… But thank goodness, everything goes smoothly on the biggest day of our life, 12 October 2009.

On the appointed time 7am on 12 October, we left for the Chinese customary marriage. I tried to make it as relaxing and easy on our life as possible for the day’s event. I mean, why stress us and those of our dearest friends and relatives on the happiest day of our life? I have seen my share of wedding preparations and ceremonies that runs on military clockwork. Damn, you wouldn’t want to be in their shoes and yet for all their hardship done willingly, they still complained. DUH… They endure these pains and rehearsal because they WANTED IT TO BE THE BEST!!! Come on, at the end of the day, to whom you gona impressed? What the guests going to remember you by? I mean, I don’t even remember 95% of the weddings I attended so why the fuck you think I gona remember yours? Anyway, I supposed, to each its own. We live our life to our expectation and we have decided to make this life a nice little cuddly world.

Earlier, I was contemplating to make this either a chronological or an event (like marriage – pre & post, pregnancy etc) but decided on the former. Given my lack of attention span, I think this is the best way forward. Yes yes, whatever that means…

We are so looking forward spending the rest of our life together and awaiting the arrival of our little bundle of joy; Amelia. Daddy and Mommy waiting ever so patiently; be safe and healthy. Oh yes, go slow on the tantrum part, mommy is in a rather lethargic state for the longest time.

And in all God’s wonders and glories, we love you so much

Good Night Amelia, Snoopy, Woodstock & Snoopy’s Mummy

I’M STARTING TO BECOME CONCERNED ABOUT MY OBSESSION WITH ANYTHING THAT MOVES

2009-12-30T22:53:00.003+08:00

30 December 2009

Dreamy Wednesday (30 Degree Celsius)

Evening @ 2230 (Singapore Time)

Listen: 四季by黄丽玲

Mood: *SO much the better, I can fight in the shade

Time for the end-of-year recap and re-resolution. Alas, the pain and agony of it all…

Nevertheless, it’s a once a year pain, so its pretty much bearable. I hope…

So, now, the re-cap

Beside the fact that people are fuckers, I have somehow ascertain that, yup, people are basically still fuckers. No need to give any statistics or whatsoever, its just so simple, straightforward and sweet; people are and will always be fuckers.

I shall now give thanks to the friendship (both new and renewed) I made, the wonderful memories from friends and relatives alike and the arrival of my baby niece, Chloe.

Been a while since we had anything significance…

Moving on, I got married to my little beagle/angel/snoopy/the-best-thing in my life. Yes, finally haha and we are waiting very patiently for the arrival of our little daughter, Amelia.

Then now what… Well, I lost my will to write and slowly, but surely, I am dying a slow and painless death while the rest of you are dying of a slow and painful one, albeit on a more emotional tunes. Therein lies my dilemma, to be or not to be… Then it begs the question; it is not the being that is painful but the lack of it. I am basically fucked. By happiness and everything good about life.

I can barely feel my own negativity without breaking into happiness and all sunny and rosy. Told you I’m fucked.

To end, it is my tradition to finish this post in a prayer and wishes for the better

Though I walk through the valley of idiots, I shall fear neither joblessness nor the temptation to kick their ass, for I have my journal to curse them and my highly marketable job skills. But my investment portfolio isn’t doing as well as I hoped, and my bank account is virtually nonexistence, so if it’s not too much to ask, I need a higher return so I can escape from these clowns. And to live in splendor while they wrestle in the mud and hopefully me making it in one piece to find my precious…

That’s all for the year and hopefully, 2010 will be another non-eventful year (Save for the arrival of my little girl). Old liao, Mr Bird, cannot always got eventful things happening, my heart tak boleh tahan.

To the best thing that ever happen to me, (That’s my wife); Honey, I love you ever so much

And the next best thing that can happen (my daughter lah); Sweetie, Daddy and Mommy love you so so much

Happy 2010

P.S try to live through this, for everyone sake….

MY NAME CAUSES NATIONAL SECURITY ALERT, WHAT DOES YOURS DO?

2009-11-27T08:02:00.000+08:00

27 November 2008
Dreamy Friday (29 Degree Celsius)
Early Morning @ 0600 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 世界唯一的你 by 曹格
Mood: *Waddling in the pool”

Not me lah, but it did happen to one of my colleague, a Malay chap unfortunately. His last name (or surname in our context) consist along the line of the highly sought after terrorist in the Philippines. And to make matter worse, they don’t really have any clue (the Police/Immigration) other than the big red panic button. So how? He kena detained for 3 days before they cleared up the misunderstanding. No lawyers, no diplomatic visits, nothing. Oh well… he never felt happier after that. Think he gona make more babies again… Damn

Moving on, I have been through many rites of passage(s), none of which even come close, personally, in a contextual basis of me getting hitched, married in the traditional way of the Chinese Immigrants (specifically 3rd Generation of Han Chinese). It was pretty serene, if not surreal.

First, let me put my answer in context. The hassle, the rush, the agonizing pondering, colored with much hue of anticipations and in a clearer sense, my wife (then girlfriend) is pregnant and so it kind of forwarded the entire year’s event (and milestones) into one single month. How can that happened (the squeezing, not the pregnancy)?

In a nutshell, early in September, we left for an impromptu holidays to Phuket, Thailand with her kin’s (all 15 of them). Yup, now I recalled James’ theory (in one of his many philosophical moods); you don’t marry the girl only, you married her entire village. Boss sure knows how to make light of any situation. And why yes, it is Phuket again. Exactly one year after my last visit, and guess what, I’m so thrillZZzzzz…. Nevertheless, it was a rather relaxing trip; moving around, shopping, and even getting an elephant ride (yup, those sort of things)… nothing too fanciful.

We even booked our long awaited holidays to Taiwan.

Till then (or up till then), we merely suspected that the late menstrual period was (rightly or now we know, wrongly) due to stress. Everything went pretty well till mid September when it dawn us that the “late period” “cannot be that late what”. One thing leads to another and we decided to test it out with those over-the-counter pregnancy kits and Voila, welcome onboard, Mom & Dad!

Of course, we couldn’t really trust those little tubes (the Gynae would be eating grass), can we? So we did what millions (somewhat irrational figures) do what they do best, approach professional help; and on 12 September 2009, after the ultrasound scan, we are definitely gona have a baby.

Aside the happiness, we are plagued with the initial uncertainty and some degree of disbelief. From 9 September (the Kit test) to Gynecologist’s confirmation on the 12th, we did consider various options; the timing, the appropriateness of the baby alongside our moral, societal norms and parental responsibility. It will be untruthful to say that abortion was not tabled. Fortunately, logic and love prevail and now, the baby is safe, kicking happily (no pun…) and growing at astronomical rate (4th month and you should see her size!). And according to my wife, she should be growing her first hair now. Size wise, she’s like a big avocado (Her exact words, Wife, not our daughter).

I wish the entries of our baby’s journey to be as truthful and humanely as possible. She deserves to know what is/are going in our minds from the time of conception to eventual delivery. Some ain’t pleasant but hey, that’s life. Take it with an open mind, Baby (if you ever read this). We want nothing but the best for you.

Having said that, Hello Amelia!

You are 4 months old now. Yes, we now know you are a princess (As opposed to a prince). Similarly, the Doc says he is 70% confirm is a princess. We wouldn’t want to discount him hor, not when he is supposed to be delivering you. We Love you!

QUE SARA, SARA (WHATEVER WILL BE, WILL BE)

2009-11-22T10:55:00.001+08:00

22 November 2008
Sunny Sunday (27 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 0900 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 世界唯一的你 by 曹格
Mood: *Paddling in the pool”

Rainy season (we actually have seasons!) gets on slightly earlier than usual. Flash flood hit Bukit Timah and it was so bad that, according to the government, it is one of those once-in-50-years type. Right, and since they know it is 50-years-type thingy, why then does PUB and LTA shake leg eat snake every day? Either way, lucky for me, I was away for reservist call up. So for obvious reason, I missed Bukit Timah area by a mile… Yes, Lucky me.

On the Reservist note, I was practically Lobo-ing for the longest time in my life. I should have just slept through, but knowing how the CB officers and specialists work, I shan’t, lest I got sabo and kena blanket party. Yup, at our age somemore. You can’t really mature a man, any man…

Went to my buddy wedding dinner last night. It was ok, nothing fanciful, a simple dinner of warmth and blessing. Finally, after being together for the longest time (think 15 years), they finally tied the knot. However, everything that prelude (before and after) the wedding sucks. Firstly, the carpark(s) are full. The entire vicinity carpark are full. FULL! One joker security guard (managing traffic cos everywhere is packed, yet surprisingly orderly…) suggest parking at St. James. DUDE, DO YOU have any idea HOW FAR ST JAMES IS TO DINNER? Told you that guy is a joker… Wanted to park at double-yellow road just off the street but got CB traffic warden and then it will also set me back by 70 bucks… Ok, then Bright idea came along, the Coach parking area. That’s my next set of dilemma, I was told it will be expensive (thanks Guy for telling me, AFTER I parked…) but I didn’t know it will be THAT expensive. For a 3 hour parking, my cash card is S$20.40 poorer. Lucky for me again, cash card got money. Damn…

Then I have my own sets of problem. After 31 years of existence, I came to the realization my flaws, weakness and strength, many of which will remain anonymous; one thing for sure, I’m not good with spoken words. Alas, the agony (what agony?) haha… ANYWAY…

Once or twice or… for the longest time, many years ago, I was troubled by love, career and everything that life throws at me. I fell in and out of depression; it got especially bad when I was in the States. Everything smells, look and taste grey and gloomy. But it did serve to create this greater awareness of my inner self (albeit a whole spectrum of Blue-ness) and the needed strength to overcome greater adversities. Like I said earlier, I am in happiness now. Never had I been in such calmness and blissfully loving life for like ever. Such bliss comes at a price; I lost the will to write those heart wrenching entries and to overcome my limitation… and that is a problem? Why yes…

Take Marathon or long distance running for example. During my remedial training in the army, somehow, I can’t find the needed boost to spur me on. It was a puzzling time; I cannot understand the rationale and for that 1 minute, my brain literally on overdrive, trying to come to terms with my apparent disability. Then it dawn me… I am older (by a decade) and happier (much of my existence with my wife). Ah, that explains everything. Happy man how to torture oneself? Why, even to begin…

I lost my sense of writing in the process too.

Nevertheless, it is all good. I will however, visit it time and again, of my depression and all the sadness. I will never leave them behind. They are my precious…. My little precious

Right, Moving on…I’m going for a healthier me. That includes Jogging 3 times a week, or make that twice, golfing, and perhaps Gym… And no swimming? Well, put it this way, if swimming is good for our figure, explain whales to me.

Then again, there are whole lots of other land based creature, like big fat fugly Woodstock… Watch this space! Oh yes, Mom & Dad Loves you, our little Woodstock/snoopy Junior.

THE FEET OF THE DUCK WENT OVER THE FENCE BEFORE THE TAIL

2009-08-27T17:56:00.000+08:00

27 August 2008
Cloudy Thursday (28 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 1740 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 诺言 by李翊君
Mood: *duh”

It has been a while. Not a long while but long enough to feel the absence.

Just like my under-the-weather feeling. You see, I got sick recently, or rather, feel sick(ed). Then for some unknown reason, I felt better a while later, only to be stricken later. It’s like I know I don’t feel well but it is not bad enough to see a doctor and get medical leaves… So how? I’m fucked.

Speaking of being fucked, my department female-of-a-dog made her presence felt again and started harping on our duty roosters. This little insignificant act somehow made our life a tad tough and difficult lately. Nevertheless, she never foresees the thunders and lightning we plan throwing (at her… Muahaha…) Never Nevertheless, I always believe, live and let live lah, no need to go to the extremes. Perhaps she had a bad night (sex, or the lacked of it). Luckily though, I am a morally Upright Woddstock, haha. Once you live life in accordance to Celestial Standards which encompass (but not wholly) things like no hanky panky (I cannot explain how important this principle is). If you try to circumvent life and its jurisdiction (just because, YES just because), then assuredly you will be screwed. You know, one thing I have learnt, these bastards will never go away. It’s like one day, when you realize its inquisitiveness, that one fucking day, they will fucking return and fucking haunt you.

On a lighter note, I have decided to swear less. Why? Got baby in the family, not very nice. Just sing Monkey, Gorilla, Chimpanzee… Yup, those kind of things

Next, wife and I were babysitting our baby niece, Chloe on a Friday night. It was tough but merrily fun and uplifting. It’s heartwarming to see her smiling, crying, getting hungry, smiling again after being fed. Well, it’s nice having a baby in the family…

Got my first branded wallet. It is like an ultra luxury for me, I don’t believe in using such an expensive wallet, I mean, WHY? But a Mont Blanc is a Mont Blanc is a Mont Blanc… Just like my significant other’s Gucci is a Gucci is a … Ya, you get the message.

Work still ok, it’s neither too high nor too low, like the stock market; neither here nor there but hey, that’s life. Friends are still fine, sometime being a little too fucker for comfort, but generally still ok. Family and relatives are going strong, like I said, nothing too fanciful. Having said that, I think I’m going to write like once in a blue moon, at the rate things are going. I have nothing much to talk about, nothing to complain and nothing to really FEEL… Damn, not exactly a bad thing but still, it sucks… We can’t have best of all worlds… so how? We eat, grow fat and die. Better for the heart.

Clerks still getting on my nerves, colleagues sometime fucked up, luckily for me, I got my snoopy. On that note, YES, boys and girls, we are now known as Mr & Mrs Snoopy & Woodstock. How did that happen? It started at wee hours (like 4am) of 16 August where we left for Sheares Bridge 21km run. Reach destination, warm up, and off we go for the half marathon. It was painful, after like 6 years of absence (Woodstock) but luckily, we managed to finish in one piece. Went home, shower and when everyone is out, we exchanged our 1 year anniversary gift (first). Then I made her covered her eyes for a surprise… I tied the proposal ring on Inuka (our little bear) and with a bouquet of flowers, I proposed to my lovely Snoopy. The rest is history.

Thank you Honey, for being my beautiful wife and BFF (Best Friend Foever). I’ll try to be your best friend and soulmate I could ever become. And I Love you

IT’S A B.E.A.U.TIFUL DAY, NOW WATCH SOME ASSHOLE FUCKED IT UP

2009-07-29T22:03:00.000+08:00

29 July 2008
Cloudy Wednesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2140 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 诺言 by李翊君
Mood: *WoW”

Well… been a while since I last updated anything here… so let’s get on with it

Firstly, I started on my remedial training, complimentary of the Singapore Armed Forces (or RT in short). After my first 3km run up the steep slope (3 x 1km = 3 rounds up that fucking slope), I can’t really feel anything waist down. And you know what can be worst? The pain shot up after day 2 and gets progressively bad till I practically had to grab onto the handrails during descent and walking up the stairs. And when you think you hit shit bottom, things get better; my only entry to my work place consist of a 30 flight of stairs up and 30 down… Plus Lunch, Off work, sometime kena arrow to Admin Building… Little wonder how I can live, eat, sleep and grow fat… oh well…

But then hor, things get slightly better after 4 days of rest (beside walking like a duck). Now I can run the slopes (3km per session) and clocking better timing every time. I guess it all boils down to perseverance and determination. Both of which, I am sorely lacking… why?

Firstly, you really need that FULL burst and CONSTANT burning FIRE to run anything related to being Damn Siong (think marathon). I used to clock full marathons (halfs’ are like morning PT like that) and never look back. WHY? Because I got that fucking FIRE inside; all the wrongs people did to me, the humiliation, backstabbing, ego trips (yes that too). EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE in this fucking world are against me. It is these sorrowful agonies that fuel my run! YA, BABY! FUCKING BURN!

And now? I grow fat, constantly smiling, feeling like 9th heaven every minute of my life… Because? I am happily in love with Snoopy and we are going for the long haul… Awww, so tell me lah, if one is as blissful as me, where got that damn fire? So how? Nowadays I just run and kept only the happy thoughts. Difficult but not impossible. Also, I needed the run lah for another 2 reasons…

I am going for the Half Marathon on the 16th of August and besides, I am an overachiever. I don’t want to fucking waste my time fucking idle during the 2 hourly session of RT. I saw so many CB around, all slacking and practically wasting their fucking god-damn life away. Oh well, like I said, to each its own… They happy, no die while running or walking (thank goodness) can liao.

ANYWAY

Beside the RT Session (another 1 RT to go and here-I-come second phase – which is like more damn CB siong), I really haven’t do much… Oh well…

Last Sunday went for the Children Society Walkathon. The week before was idling around malls, shopping for Nike Lunar Series Shoes, bought this, get those and played a 9-hole Golf (Company Games) yesterday. Haven’t been playing for a while (my procrastination, mostly) and since last night, my whole body is burning (under direct sun for 2 hours) and aching (the SWING dude, THE SWINGS).

Ok, way beside that, maybe I could start another trilogy soon, just needs the fucking inspiration…

Oh but apparently, if you are like me, then having inspiration is like procrastination; You feel fucking good initially, but then in the end, you are only fucking yourself… And to fucking start with, my idea is certainly one of strong beliefs. Roughly, it divided the fucking world into two camps: enemies who needed to be crushed, and allies who, because they are CB wimps, have to be told what to do.

And then how?

We eat, sleep, grow fat and FUCKING DIE!!!

LUX ET VERITAS (LIGHT & TRUTH)

2009-07-02T20:30:00.002+08:00

2 July 2008
Cloudy Thursday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2040 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 诺言 by李翊君
Mood: *WoW”

The Biggest problem is that they do not see themselves as the problem. It could be the byproduct of affirmative action’s (Bumiputra and American’s Blacks) but I suppose it is much easier to wriggle their way out of misery by blaming everything foreign and laying destruction to others. I mean what else can they do? No job, no money, no honey… with such pent up amount of energy, it is like a steam cooker at orgasm point. Like no Chu Stunt cannot sleep the night away like that…

That brought me to a similar argument I read lately the co-relation between the number of Males (increase) to war (also increase). It goes like this; somewhere in the 19th to 20th Century, China has a problem, a BIG problem; the ruling dynasty is decaying, the people are suffering from disasters after disasters and western nations are at its doorstep. To make matter worst, they have like a BIG disproportionate amount of males versus the females. All these free, nothing better to do males with no spouses, are roaming the city and countryside, looking for an avenue to release their energy. So what they do? They started the biggest civil war in Chinese history which crippled their feudal lord.

Now back to the 21st Century, we have so many unemployed youth and men roaming their streets and these are god-given natural resources for distorted views and actions. We could even see a replay of the Chinese civil war, albeit on a larger scale, Much Larger. Give it time…

Another BIG problem is their Rich are not at all bothered with their poorer brethrens. Take Palestine for example. If the Arabs are genuinely concern about their plight, they would have done all they could, like economically embargoed Israel to rebuilding Palestinian with all their Oil riches. But No… They just make empty cow-pehing when Israel launches assault after assault to rid the extremists, and after all that, retire back to their palace, ticking off their scheduler like it’s just another daily to-do list.

To put my point succinctly, no one cares about the poor. Because, technically they are not Arabs, Not Persian, Not quite Egyptians, not exactly Syrian… See my point? Did I mention they are poor? Very poor in fact and with no resources other than droves of unemployed youth (and that permeate the cycle of extremism).

I am always for secularism. I believe in the division of State and religion.

Recently some Muslim chaps even suggest making all food places halal for…. communal bonding (so everyone can eat together in the same table). Wow, B.I.L.L.I.A.N.T leh…

But it did happen, at least in some food courts (entirely halal) and of course my canteen…

My feel is, Singapore is basically a conservative society and the norm is one of multi-racial and stable family structure. We build our life based on consensus, as with most Asian society. However, we also recognize that Muslim (for example) is a part of our society. They have a place and are entitled to their religious rights and private lives. So I am perfectly fine to see headscarves or Arabian Gown (those covering head to toe…) in public spaces, but to push their lifestyle into our’s? Halal Foodcourt?

I believed majority of Singaporeans want a stable multi-racial & religious society with traditional family values and yet encompassing spaces for people of different faith, sexuality and beliefs to live their private lives and contribute to the society. Therefore, we should not be pressured into changing this position or flirting with this intent to change, especially now that the minority group expanded their view with somewhat louder than usual call for change in status quo.

Thus, the only way forward for a space in our society is to accept the formal and informal limits which reflect the equilibrium that our society can and will prepare to accept, and not to assert them stridently as other religious groups do elsewhere.

In a diverse, multi-racial and multi-religious Singapore, every group, religious or secular, should exercise restraint and show mutual respect and tolerance. If any group pushes its agenda too aggressively, then there will be backlash from other groups. Then how? We will be lead to disintegration and perhaps even civil war.

I am not advocating discontentment or inciting hatred. As I always asserted, the minority should not and cannot hijack and shove their ideology to the masses. Anyone could do whatever they want, in the comfort of their living spaces (like Homosexuality) and most of us (including the Government) don’t really need to know or care. Seriously, who even care about the famous penal code 337A (the Anal sex thingy) but still, the Gay rights advocates make such a loud din over it. To bring forth your insistence that certain issues and stakes be change to accommodate your needs, that is treason! And in my regime, you will be thoroughly drown in warm beer and be fed to the lions…

So how now? I cowpeh and go back to sleep…

And perhaps wait for the police to knock on my door… or I might be assassinated… Oh well, at least I tried. Even if I am condemned because of my reasoning, then let my maker be my witness…

End of Trilogy …

Now for some Fun stuffs…

A friend died this January but Bank still billed her for February, March etc for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on top of the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00... Now it is somewhere around $60.00. I called the Bank…

Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Bank: "Sir, the account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "Erm, Ok… maybe, you should turn it over to collections, perhaps?"
Bank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."
Me: "So… what exactly will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Me: "Hmmm, do you think God will be mad at her?"
Bank:"...excuse me...?"
Me: "Did you even get what I was trying to tell you... the part about her being, like dead?"
Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor!" (Supervisor gets on the phone)
Me: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January…"
Bank: "Oh, the account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "So you mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Bank: ".....(stammer).... Errm could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Me: "Sure."
(Fax number is given)
(After they get the fax.)
Bank: "Our system just isn't setup for death"
Me: "Oh...really…"
Bank: "I don't know what more I can do to help.."
Me: "Well... you could just keep billing her, I suppose... Don't really think she will care...."
Bank: "The late fees and charges do still apply."
Me: "Right, right…. Would you like her new billing address then?"
Bank: "That might help."
Me: "Lim Chu Kang Cemetery (plot number given.)
Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Me: "That’s right, so exactly what do you do with dead people on your planet then?"

SO our Maker Helps us all…

I HAVE AS MUCH FREEDOM AS A GOLDFISH IN A BOWL

2009-06-30T21:45:00.003+08:00

30 June 2008
Sunny Tuesday (35 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2140 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 诺言 by李翊君
Mood: *WoW”

First thing first… My beloved niece is out today (Finally!)…

Oh my little cutie pie, my sweetie sweetie Chloe … Uncle Woodstock and Auntie Snoopy got a lot of gifts waiting for you, our darling

Heee…

Not to say my days went well…It could be better but alas, who am I to complain?

Took half day to jalan jalan Suntec/Marina Square area, watch Transformer 2. It’s not bad actually… Despite the hype (which is just nice) and the trailers… Damn, Megan Fox is Awesome…You seriously got to see her body… oh well

Honey still hyper-happy and trying so hard to cheer me up. Thanks Honey, Me love you too.

Got to go now… Don’t feel like talking or blogging much… You know, time of the month thingy

Till then, You know I miss you. Yup, all inclusive kind of thing

诺言 by 李翊君

我不明白这世界为什么, 会让我感到那么多伤悲
我不知道相爱的两个人, 留不住一个褪色的诺言
我不了解沧海桑田, 能将一切相信的事改变
我不相信付出过的真心, 要收回就能收回

我不明白人世间的聚散, 只因为我们所谓的缘份
我不知道这是你的藉口, 还是我把爱想得太天真
我不了解天长地久, 要用这么多的寂寞来等
是你让我的心痛一天比一天深

怎奈人在风里人在雨里人在爱的岁月里漂流
你我不能从头不能停留不能抗拒命运左右
想挣脱为爱戴的枷锁, 熄灭为爱点亮的灯火
一个破碎的圆破碎的美梦, 留它有什么用
哦......

怎奈人在风里人在雨里, 人在爱的岁月里漂流
你我不能从头不能停留, 不能抗拒命运左右
就这样松开寂寞的手, 熄灭为爱点亮的灯火
让爱走, 让爱拥有自己的自由

IN LUMINE TUO VIDEBIMUS LUMEN (IN THY LIGHT SHALL WE SEE THE LIGHT)

2009-06-22T20:21:00.001+08:00

22 June 2008
Hot Monday (35 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2030 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Nothing
Mood: *Where is my cute little Inuka”

This has to be the longest most sought after trilogy like ever… Ok, maybe not so sought after. Following my freedom of speech thingy, the funny thing about democracy is, well to most people anyway, it is like the victor’s glory. That is, whoever has the biggest gun makes the last call. However, as learned humans, democracy does come with its standard definition. Never mind that some people tend to ignore some or all of it. Basically, there are 2 defining principles for democracy; everyone is equal under the law and that everyone has universally recognized Freedom and Liberty.

That is the essence of Democracy and now I shall relate with disgust and sadness how one chap is being charged by legal authority for posting racist blog some time back (in a democratically elected represented country). Similarly how the Danes are punished for their (un)Islamic Prophet’s cartoon. It is like wow, suddenly everyone in the non-infidel world stood up and takes notice. Isn’t the cartoon depiction (child brides, abusing women, drugs and war) part and parcel of their life? You don’t need rocket science to see what their problem but more of it later.

Both (Danes and Singaporean) are merely upholding the principles of Democracy; Freedom. Apparently not everyone shares these similar views; over here at least. We have this peculiar component built into Democracy; that is being socially responsible, that means also, in a nutshell, your speech or views must be responsible socially. Fair enough. But as we know by now, laws are like guidelines, evolving constantly to make sure it is up to time, never too outdated or draconian.

Personally, I do not agree parodying anything religiously significance but I feel as a citizen of the Free world (yup, Singapore is technically a FREE Country), I have to make a stand on the outcry from the Muslim world. It seems (like my post elsewhere), they are living in their own little world, without any connection to the bigger arena. As I have asserted in earlier entries, why should the world admirably be tolerant, disrupting our lives; for a majority to placate a vocal minority according to their standard? Shouldn’t the minority live the way of the masses? Or at least compromise their lifestyle for common good? If history and present facts serve any truth, that compromise is not forth coming anytime soon.

But Seriously…The biggest perpetrator of abuses and multi-substandard treatments come from the Muslim nations and yet they dare speak of our blasphemies. Given, we are no saints but at least there is this core belief of universal democracy and justices (even China lor). My point is that this vocal minority (having made the BIGGEST NOISE) are unwilling to compromise on anything and still hold the views that everything the rest of the world’s doing is either WRONG, degrading, exploitative or trying to sabo them… I mean, wow, seriously dude?

Peace will only come when they finally wise up and realize that their current tactics and ideology is completely bonkers. Then again, if they really wanted peace and prosperity, they would have just gone the Japanese way; go pacifist, build their human capital, grow rich and fuck cow. Do you think the Israelis would be anything but happy with a prosperous and peaceful neighbors who just happened to fuck sheeps (read previous jokes)?

But of course they can't have/do that, not when their most cherished values; involving the destruction of an entire race is at stake. So in the context of their ideology of death; their actions are completely comprehensible. Did I mention their heaven also comes with a whole harem of naked virgins waiting to service them… And you know what is scary? Every single M-F88Ker in their world believes so…

Added to this, is the fact that the rest of the Arab-Middle East Islamic world views the Palestinian people as a useful tool and a pesky thorn in Israel's side, and so they funnel arms, monies, and ideology to help ensure that the Palestinians never wise up and stop fighting. Iran, for example, backs Hamas. The rest of the Muslim world just watch and eat popcorn (or whatever they eat down there).

Think about it…Why Israel chose, of all times, to attack. I can give several reasons. Firstly, the truce between Hamas and others had long expired, and there was sufficient domestic support for a hard strike. I mean if my neighbor kept taunting me with his silly antics, I will too. Especially hard on the nose and make sure he does time in the hospital for a long long time.

Two, Obama's presidency. Despite his spoken support for the Jewish community, and their support to him, Israel apparently has found enough reasons to doubt his commitment to them, so what can be a better reason to test his resilience and steadfastness to them? Yes, Whack them buggers’ silly…

Third, Oil Prices. Hamas' biggest backer is Iran, who provides them with funds and arms. Some setbacks now since their last haul was hijack/destroyed; when the shipment was routing via Sudan. So, now that the current low oil prices translate to lower profits and hence funds from Iran should comparatively be dropping too. And hence if Hamas is destroyed, unlike the previous round, Iran is unable to resurrect it, due to lack of funds and economic clout. In the end, after all the wind wind rain rain, money talks. No money, don’t say Iran don’t help, even Hamas also play each other out. Don’t get me started on Ideology thingy.

B.I.L.L.I.A.N.T

And finally, think about it: Israel undoubtedly has the ability to massacre the entire Palestinian population, IF THEY SO CHOOSES. If the situations were reversed, what do you think would happened?

B.I.N.G.O

Next episode (or whenever I have the mood), let’s move on to what we can do…

I LOOKED UP MY FAMILY TREE AND FOUND OUT I WAS THE SAP

2009-05-28T20:35:00.003+08:00

28 May 2008
Sunny Thursday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2040 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 换季 by 黄丽玲
Mood: *Go West”

So what did I do these couple of weeks… I don’t really know… Everything just whizz pass, like no brakes, no feelings, nothing spectacular…

I know I’m down with a slight irritating cold. Took care of that by medication but there is so much you can self medicated without overdosing and died in the process… Ermm

Moving on, Snoopy & Woodstock went Science Center yesterday. And oh my goodness, I haven’t seen so many cute little pre-schoolers, still sort-of cute lower primary and of course the not very pleasant lower secondary kids (whom I mistaken for animals… most of the time).

And since we are on the topic of animals, we were once again reminded of Edison when he was in town last month. I mean, for everything that he did, does and might still be doing, his legion of females fans are still mobbing him and wish (sometime aloud) that instead they were the ones caught without their linens… but seriously…

Wisdom does follow some of the PAP saying; like Live & let Live lah… Instead of lashing out at Edison, like what feisty Cecilia Cheung and jittery Gillian Chung are doing, sometime, what they need is really to sit down, shut up and just suck it (think about it, I mean). Cos, at the end of it, who is really to blame?

It's all about "you rub my back and I'll rub yours plus more" when everything's fine and dandy, but where's the love when the milk turns sour? Where is the “I follow you to world ends”, “I Love you deep deep, you love me long long”… ok, so the last one sounds wrong but seriously…

Well, the moral of the story is: one must be flexible lah. Like some news reported today, the Taliban are using sheep to detect mines. They send them into a field and if they're blown up, they have dinner.

If they make it through alive, they have a date. Works perfectly.

Now, that is what I can flexibility. Simply put, if your milk turns sour, feed to Kwek’s cat with it. Okay, perhaps that's a bad idea and besides, he is my buddy. I should be suggesting that you save it for my cantankerous neighbour instead. That would teach him/her a thing a two about housing a whole bunch of foreign trash in his little apartment (I knew I was right when I said you should do unto others as you would have them do to you; but I digress...)

So how now? I go fuck cow… Brb

何必可惜 by 林佳儀

這樣說分手, 你不需要訝異
我忍了好久才下了決定
甜蜜的話語, 已不能再讓我動心
因為我被你傷的太徹底

愛不是可以分享的東西, 不應該當成遊戲
如果不能成為你的唯一, 我選擇放棄, 默默離去

你可以帶走你的心, 我寧願孤獨也不要同情
我告訴我自己, 再痛的淚滴, 都能夠輕易的被撫平

你可以帶走你的心, 那謊言請你說給別人聽
我告訴我自己, 決不再哭泣
既然你不懂珍惜, 我何必可惜

WHEN THE ENEMIES AT THE GATE, THE KING AND CARDINAL ARE BOSOM FRIENDS

2009-05-09T09:49:00.000+08:00

9 May 2008
Sunny Saturday (30 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 0940 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 换季 by 黄丽玲
Mood: *Duckies cute… Expensively Cute”

What an uneventful weeks… not that I care… so what are the latest news?

Headline Number 1: AWARE saga has proven my hypothesis that Give Women some Power, they think they own the World. Don’t even get me started on lady bosses…

Headline Number 2: Tomorrow is OSIM Day (oops, I mean Mother’s Day). You should see how much effort OSIM and its Spokesperson, Jeannette Aw are doing… You SHOULD have seen the OSIM USqeeze Advertisement by Jeannette… Wow, She is like orgasm-ing every minute the machine nip and tuck her weary legs… Damn, I got to have one of those (which I did but for other reason)…

Headline Number 3: Still on Jeannette… Pity she didn’t win any prizes at the Star awards by MediaCOCK. Pity man, it’s a SHAME, it’s a SHAM!!! Just because she refuse to sleep with the Top Bosses!!! You know, someday, someone or something will definitely sue me…

Headline Number 4: Boring story, almost STALE I tell you but well… Mat Selemat is caught. Who the fuck is he? For one, he made the Interior Minister look damn Cock when he say it is an accident (Mat’s escape, not his cock), let’s MOVE ON. Worse still, he made our wonderful boys/men at ISD (Internal Security) look like a Cock (my dictionary a little retard lately). Now that he is caught, I supposed he will be thrashed within an inch of his Cock life, in Malaysia (where he is caught) and in Singapore when he is extradited back. It is only a matter of time he will be condemned to live out his Cock life behind bars like forever. Don’t mess with the XXX…

Headline Number 5: Our babies collections are growing as we speak. Yes! Just last night, I was cowpeh-ing about my financial standing and how we ought to eat at food court and not some fancy restaurant (to save cost)… We bought 2 terribly overpriced baby duckies (call Zippy by the way) without batting an eyelid. It was not cheap, these Damn CUTE soft toys… On hindsight, we should have settled for the baby seal which is like only a fraction of the duckies’ cost. Oh well…

On a damn side note, I now know the importance of personal personal hygiene. I was a little apprehensive, maybe, just maybe a little frustrated by the recent spate of infection. It was itch, it discolored a bit and in the end, I was worrying a litte. But I no anyhow wander, I no anyhow poke poke see see… Cannot be right? Anyway, as of print time, it has gone back to its original color and no more itchiness… Damn, it feels good… Finally.

Reminds me of a good joke… American Jack had good times with Chinese Pros(s) and return to US with a discolored Dick. Almost turning black, he seeks help. Doc looks concerned and said,

“Well, Jack, its Chinese VD (Venereal Disease) and we have to amputate it”…
“Hell no and screw yourself!” Said Jack and he seeks a second opinion with a Chinese Sinseh
“Oh” said Chinese Sinseh, “Its Chinese VD”
“Yaya, you old prick, I know its Chinese VD… My doc says amputation…” Said Jack irritably
“Stupid American doctors, everything also amputate…Don’t worry big ugly Jack, 2 more days, dick fall off by itself”

And Yes, I promise you an entry(s) about democracy… Yes yes, I am still working on it… Bear with me and have faith ok… I got a life that encompass me reading at least 5 pages of The Economics every day and making sure I don’t get sack. Till then, have fun and be safe. Remember, it is not ONLY about you.

VOX CLAMANTIS IN DESERTO (THE VOICE OF ONE CRYING IN THE WILDERNESS)

2009-04-07T19:01:00.002+08:00

7 April 2008
Gloomy Tuesday (32 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 1840 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 乘虚而入 by 苏永康Mood: *Inuka cute… beary cute”

Today I read with disgust a HR policy that basically affects everybody BUT the minority. I am even inclined to think of inciting a civil disobedience just to prove my point. The story is, somewhere down the road, someone or something decided to voice their concern about having pork or more aptly, non-halal things in the canteen. A canteen that is shared by hundreds of others that is not quite, well, like them, Literally.

In a nutshell, I assumed that something have decided that they have had enough of seeing infidels sharing the spaces with them and worst still, eating non-conforming food. So they decided to pressure enough people by ways of

1. Sensitivity to their Needs
2. Consideration to their wants

But what of the Beers? The Cigarettes?? And the idle talk, the gambling and the Oh so Lusty eyes on the office ladies? Oh and you think I am blind, or even oblivious to these? You think I no read your book? What I don’t say doesn’t mean I don’t know, it’s just that I don’t care… Now that I do care… You can see the epitome of double standard smack on your face, hard.

Seriously, What is wrong with a little PORK and Lard around? We don’t even force feed them onto you or complain why you go around fucking, having pre-marital sex, early sex and funny sex, do we? SO why are you making life so difficult for us, the Majority!

What I feel? Fuck them.
Yes and while we are at it, FUCK them hard.

Since when do majority have to give in to the whims and fancy of the minority… all for what? Racial Harmony? WHY can’t they accommodate the masses and live within OUR way of life? Since when do they have the rights to hijack our god damn rights? I Live and Breathe PORK and LARD. And if anyone whom even thinking of getting my birth rights, Screw You!

Of course, if these really do get out and into the public sphere, I can look forward to a nice cell with them as my companion. Really, the things the government does to make peace with our fucking-no-pride-highly-corrupted-idiosyncrasies neighbors. ARREST ME!! And WHILE you are at it, Make me a MARTYR standing up for my fellow Chinese Singaporean RIGHTS!!

But then, Bird has (and I repeat) everything but balls and following that logic, I must apologies, sincerely, if I do offend anyone by my outburst. I am just making my point and this is after all a free country (no, really). However, if I do get charged and sentence to life, you can then make the judgment call. I believe in our judiciary system, my faith in the ruling party and its values and more importantly, what is stands for. But I also believe that if we do not speak out now (just like the common folks in Nazi Germany), there might come a time we may not have the voice left when they (non-infidels) do come for me.

No seriously… Let me reiterate the necessity of it all. For a start, it rhymes with masturbation…Yes! Democracy!! And No, it has no being whatsoever with masturbation but I got your attention, didn’t I?
So, then what is democracy? What is the essence, the reasons, the what-ever fucking ideology that comes with it? Watch this space

WE LIVE, WE DIE AND THE WHEEL ON MY CAR GO ROUND AND ROUND

2009-03-01T16:39:00.002+08:00

1 March 2009
Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Afternoon @ 1600 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 天天看到你by 阿杜
Mood: *No Feelings ah*

It has been a while ya… Where did I go then? What did I do? I mean WTF did I do?

Firstly, I was busying prepping for my first In-Camp Training (ICT). Before I get myself in, I needed to settle my civilian lives’ matters… Like like… My Day Job (I do have a job that pays for my bills you know…), my love life (Pacifying my little snoopy) and making damn sure all my bills are paid. On top of that, my little brother and SIL came back for a visit too. Wish I could spend more time with them but alas, wrong timing… Well, still awaiting the arrival of my cute little niece, awww

Anyway, back to ICT, it was not a bad experience, really. It was physically demanding (and I have to hear all my Chee Bye friends saying how relax ICT) and mentally draining. I guess I am just unlucky, having to do my ICT in an Infantry Unit and on top of that, specializing in defence position (Think Built up Trenches). In addition to the training demands, I have to meet some chee bye troopers. Oh well, I managed to post all the cheebye out of my platoon. I am guessing all the rest of the commanders are doing it too… You should have seen the people arrowed to be posted elsewhere. Just one glance you knew straight that they are platoon/company rejects. Oh well, we all made our choices (them included) and so… It’s the survival of the fittest and adaptability. Too bad…

Did the ICT humble me? I can’t really say. My goosey was telling me that I look like me kind of enjoying it. I guess so. I mean, I have to do it, by left, right or center. So… I might as well do a good job and while I am at it, be positive too. What I learnt from this short annual military stint is confidence and the right attitude to handle all kinds of situation; good or bad. It is life, it’s ain’t sweet and the worst thing is, you can’t choose. But still, I am also pretty glad it is over and Yes, another 9 years awaits. I think I did a pretty good job and it will be commented via a citation (end of course report to my head of department). So I get to be confident, to the best of my morals and ability, bonding with the men, keeping fit, and still gets commended. In summation, it is good.

Moving on, I also get to see the most beautiful rainbow after this heaviest rainfall during one of my many outfield exercises. It was beautiful. Without a doubt but alas, my silly little goose was not with me then… Never mind, we have many more rainbows to catch…

Speaking of my silly goose, we just watched Marley and Me at Suntec. It was an ok movie actually, nothing spectacular, nothing emotional-ly. Well, to me at least. Still, silly goose is a silly goose and she goes sniffing and tearing away. Gosh, my silly little goosey.

With that I ended my otherwise dull month. Oh well, we live, we die and the wheels on my car still go round and round. How is that for a start?

天天看到你 by 阿杜

一开始就误会, 关于你的倔强和不妥协
一离开就后悔, 因为你爱的很坚决

我被缠在一些傻问题, 譬如说用什么爱你
如果我就这样离去, 我的心会碎的像玻璃

天天看到你, 却产生了距离
爱越热心越冷的关系
也许这是我不够勇气, 去解开你防卫的外衣

天天看到你, 是习惯和必须
不可能跟可能, 我的心面对分离
Oh~ 我才知道自己有多爱你

HAPPY BIRD DAY, WOODSTOCK

2009-02-01T16:46:00.001+08:00

1 February 2009
Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Windy Afternoon @ 1700 (Singapore Time)
Listen: This Kiss by Faith Hill
Mood: *It’s a not moving Procreating Blind Deer*

Happy Birthday bird/Woodstock

We hope you have the best of everything; good health for love ones, happiness and still happiness.

Thank you so much…

Especially my sunshine Snoopy whom got me a surprise birthday cake… Awww

Honey, I love you so muchie and I promised to be a nice little Woodstock for you and you only.

Muaks

And so we be; eat, drink & be merry.

This Kiss by Faith Hill

I don’t want another heartbreak, I don’t need another turn to cry
I don’t want to learn the hard way, Baby, hello, oh, no, goodbye
But you got me like a rocket, shooting straight across the sky
It’s the way you love me
It’s a feeling like this
It’s centrifugal motion
It’s perpetual bliss
It’s that pivotal moment
It’s, ah, impossible

This kiss, this kiss (Unstoppable)
This kiss, this kiss

Cinderella said to Snow White, how does love get so off course
All I wanted was a white knight, with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse
Ride me off into the sunset, Baby, I’m forever yours
You can kiss me in the moonlight, on the rooftop under the sky
You can kiss me with the windows open, while the rain comes pouring inside
Kiss me in sweet slow motion, let’s let everything slide
You got me floating, you got me flying

To the love of my life; my kidney, liver and heart and well, everything

Honey, I truly deeply ultra-ly love you

Muaks

MY PRECIOUS

2009-01-29T22:53:00.001+08:00

29 January 2009
Thursday (29 Degree Celsius)
Windy Night @ 2300 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 猜不透 by 丁當
Mood: *It’s a Procreating Blind Deer*

Sméagol... Why does he cry, Sméagol?

Sméagol: Don't ask Smeagol. Poor, poor Smeagol.
Sméagol: Master... Master looks after us. Master wouldn't hurt us.
Gollum: But Master broke his promise, didn’t he…
Sméagol: Cruel men hurts us. Master tricksed us.
Gollum: Of course he did. I told you he was tricksy. I told you he was false.
Gollum: Master betrayed us. Wicked. Tricksy, False. We ought to wring his filthy little neck. Kill him!

Kill him! Kill them both! And then we take the precious... and we be the master!

Sméagol: No, not it's business. Leave us alone. Why can’t they just fucking die and leave us alone?
Gollum: Filthy little hobbites. They stole it from us.

What did they steal?

Gollum: Myyy PRECIOUSSS.

And Master shall pay dearly for these trespasses…
For the time of revenge is upon us…
But we shall wait, we shall persevere… He will pay dearly

猜不透 by 丁當

猜不透, 你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁

猜不透相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸是真的, 是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

猜不透相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸是真的, 是热的

如果忽远忽近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活

如果忽冷忽热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过
到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已不想追究
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

GONG XI FA CAI, HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR

2009-01-26T13:49:00.000+08:00

26 January 2009
Monday (31 Degree Celsius)
Windy Afternoon @ 1400 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 猜不透 by 丁當
Mood: *It’s a Blind Deer*

Yup, time flies… just like tax and death. Hmm, since it is not very auspicious to say morbid things like this on first day of the lunar new year…

Have a happy and prosperous New Year.

Sometime, I contemplate giving up my blog. It’s like nothing much to talk about. Though I have zillions of observation and feelings on all kind of stuffs… but but… I am attention deficient. I cannot concentrate on anything more than it is necessary.

I blame my hormones and everything that goes with it… Ya, something like that

Oh well

I shall bear the burden of my life… the bleakness of nothingness
Just warm my cockles by the mere thoughts of it….
Still… Have a Happy and wonderful year ahead. Its all that humans’ live for, isn’t it?

Oh well, another joke to warm your cockles (since it warmth mine)

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,
"You know, I have lost my wife here in this supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" the woman asked.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Blower’s Daughter by Tanya Chua

And so it is, just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time

And so it is, the shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off of you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...

And so it is, just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time

And so it is, the colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

HI GUYS, MEET BOB! “HI BOB” NOW, BOB IS BEING NAUGHTY, YES HE IS… HE TRIED TO STEAL ME COOKIES… SO HOW? HAHA BOB… HAHA

2009-01-14T21:28:00.001+08:00

14 January 2009
Wednesday (31 Degree Celsius)
Damn Windy Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 猜不透 by 丁當
Mood: *It’s a Bob’s World*

Ok, so where have I been? Nowhere as usual… and how now? A recap of my life so far…

Found out that people do use urinal water to wash/water their dick (machiam cleaning up after urinating). Don’t say use urinal water to wash Dick, sometime accidentally kena some small splashes of urinal water on hand I nearly emptied the Dettol to disinfect… Cow, use it to wash dick…

Also found out that the Shilin food outlet’s chicken cutlet, tempura, and crepe are actually quite tasty (Yes, kwek, it is delicious… SO GO AND EAT IT!!). I know I am like 2 years late (the fad almost gone) but hey, better late than never… Just like its better out than in thingy… Ya, those sort of things…

Next bit is censored.

Moving along, I have been running like 3-4 times a week, practicing my golf every other other day (haha) and going to gym (once lah… so far). It is argued that doing some exercise (any exercise) aids in the released of endorphin; those little hormones that gave the assurance of happiness when shit happened. Somehow for some reasons, I felt much alive; I am quicker, my pace is lighter, my lungs are stronger, I can run faster, longer and I don’t pant easily now. Damn…

The only drawback? I skipped lunch during weekdays to accomplish the runs. Better lah, don’t eat so much and run more, like that can lose weight. But funnily, I didn’t lose much though… My fats are still dangling around my waist and my weight stays constant… fucking cow

Oh yes, on that note, I am now known by another nick; somehow for some reasons too, my honey decided to nick me Woodstock, so that Snoopy (being her) can pat pat me… Nicey

Hopefully this year of Ox will be a greater year for me. To achieve much more than before, to strive for greater height and to do what other’s merely dream of. Yes BIRD, YOU CAN DO IT

Self praising never felt so steady. Did you not notice? haha

Now to the dark side, I can't seem to concentrate nor does anything without blowing a fuse. In short, I am damn irritated and damn pissy fucking easily. My clerks are not helping. One fine day, just one fucking day, when they caught me feeling like shit… Just one day, just one clerk… Then after I am done blasting him/her, the rest will learn to toe in line. I promised.

Where is the damn euphoria when I needed it? Oh you know what? I do get euphoric. Yes yes, I do. The only problem is, it is like a roller coaster ride; up and down the temperament journey. In case you have not notice (Hypothesis define by my wife’s close monitoring), I am usually depressive and hormonal imbalance at the end of the month. With any luck, I can hitch the prize for the timeliest PMS.

So now how? I present to you, a Joke: A 1st Year Medical Student description of a breast

1. It contains the optimum balance of nutrients for the newborn child.

2. As it is contained within the mother's body, it is protected from germs and helps develop the child's immune system.

3. And it comes in such nice containers.

AWW, LAST DAY OF THE YEAR LIAO… BYE 2008!!

2008-12-31T20:40:00.000+08:00

31 December 2008
Wednesday (31 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Blower’s Daughter by Tanya Chua
Mood: *AWW, Look at SKY*

How time flies… Just feel like yesterday when I wrote last year’s end-of-year entry and now, I am writing for this year. So errm, what did I learn this year? Well, for a start…

People are basically fuckers, period.

Ok… anything else you learn?

Be a LJ and Fuck people and don’t be a CB to let people fuck.

Point taken… so moving along, what’s the most significant thing(s) this year (in descending order)

First and perhaps the last on my list… I found my beloved wife and soulmate, Lena (Honey & Snoopy also can). Thank you for being part of my life and I love you. What I don’t say or do, doesn’t mean I don’t care, it’s just that … Ok, I love you. Remember that

XOXOXOXO

By the way, that XO thingy also something new that I learnt this year (from my boss, who got it from his little daughter who got it from her friend who etc etc)…

Next Stop, friendship; new, old, renewed, just beginning and still going strong (not in that order)

1. Wanhan & Nicole
2. Kwek & Wife
3. Gary & Wife
4. Leela, Chris & Grayze
5. Seow, Mark, KP, Alan, Germ & Gene
6. Wenn, Mona & Francis
7. Joan of Arc
8. Uncle George
9. Boss (ex... or ex ex, depending on how many jobs I changed)

And lastly, still must lament… My portfolio really going down the drain

It used to be 45K of cold hard cash, then some month ago, it become like 15 plus plus and now, just checked, it dwindle into fucking 14 plus plus. Every month its losing more and more money. Who am I kidding, the fact is there is no return anymore. My best bet is when the economy recovers (a big IF), I can get back my principle. I am not asking for much, just the fucking principle. And oh yes, no more investment. The next fucker who tell me about investment will kena damn jialat from me. And YES, 30K is big sum for a church mouse. Unlike some fuckers who brush it off like rounding error… But we will get to them. One day…

Fucking CB…

Enough of these, it is still supposed to be end of year where at least for one fucking time, we ought to behave. Yes yes… and now how? So go fuck yourself.

Hey, what you expect man. The only silver lining (beside my wife) is… I got a job (yes and I am fucking proud of it). Till we meet again, Happy New Year.

HAPPY 4TH MONTH ANNIVERSARY

2008-12-16T22:01:00.001+08:00

16 December 2008
Tuesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Blower’s Daughter by Tanya Chua
Mood: *AWW, Look at SKY*

Not much things to update lately also. December is here, its like wow… 10 Months gone in a blink. SO how now purple cow? Gee, I don’t really know…

Then it hits me…

I feel her.

I can’t live without her. Her smile, her laughter, the touch of her skin and the smell of her hair, the tenderness of her voice, the sweetness of her kiss… It is all I ever wish for. I can feel her warmth when we cuddled; it feels so safe and comforting. Every movement met with such euphoria. She loves me, I love her. We love us…

I missed her then, I missed her now.

We should meet in another life, I told her.
It will be fun, I said. It will be nice and it will be perfect. Just like fairy tales… You do like fairy tales?
How? She asked…
Similar scenario lah; Sing Karaoke, then I wink at her, she wink at me and we lived happily ever after.

We laugh heartily…

We must find each other ok? In the next life and many lives after… She made me promised her.
And this time, she added, we will be the first and last relationship …

But what if…

What if…

I am afraid I might not be able to find you anymore. The world is so big, filling every corner with people and more people. What if I missed you; alighting off a bus, in opposite direction on board the escalator… brushing past shoulders in the sidewalk? What if we are forever lost in the chaos? What if … we are never ever fated to be one again?

I love her so much…

I told her we only have about 50 odd years together (on a very generous estimate). The fear of losing her clouded my thoughts. 50 years together and we will be alone again. Then, my eyes watered…I don’t want to leave her… she is part of my life, as much as I am of her but what can I do? We are mere mortal, racing to embrace whatever time we have left together. This is life, our life.

And I died, a sad & lonely man

But I do have faith, faith that one day we will meet again. This life, the next and many many more after.

For my beautiful wife
My Companion, My soulmate, the mother of our beautiful kids, the pillar of my strength
You are all I ever wished for.
And I love you

I MIGHT BE SLOW BUT I AM STILL AHEAD OF YOU AND I'M STILL YOUR BOSS HAHA

2008-12-08T09:32:00.001+08:00

8 December 2008
Monday (24 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Morning @ 0900 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Blower’s Daughter by Tanya Chua
Mood: *AWW, Look at SKY*

At the rate I am going, my mind is going to be wasted… Such a waste of a perfectly well-endowed brain. Seriously… Nothing much to update (as you can attest to lately) and nothing of equivalent happening in our world. Some hisses and snarls, hug and kisses, here and there kind of stuff. Beside those, we are pretty good and our relationship grows by the day (and nights).

We have planned for the future; saving plans, health insurances, kids upbringing. Our house design is also taking shape, albeit with some changes to our idea of an ideal home. But it is ok, because like what I have been telling my colleagues during my monthly motivational talks; I’m in it for the longest haul. Funnily, it met with some funny reaction; Jaw dropping and champagne order cancellation. I wonder why…

On that note, I also wonder why recently, a couple of lady acquaintances’ hands I have shaken had this funny scratch to it. I mean, I extended my hand, held it firm and warmly and they reciprocate with a little (can I say, naughty) scratch on my palm with a coyly smile. I wonder why…

Alrighty, that is Oh-NOT-so funny. But my little snoopy is nice, she forgives me for my little stupidity at times… Oh, on the topic of our plan, she suggested we opt for the give and take theory; she gives nothing and takes everything from me. Yup, as usual, she outguesses, outsmart and outmaneuver me. But me not complaining, because… she’s my little snoopy… Awww… And yes, we have given the other some sweety lovey nicks; Snoopy and Woodstock (no prize for guessing who is which…).

Moving along, I was nominated again for some overseas course and with any luck; my month of February will be really filled. To the brim. Hmmm, interesting work I have. Nah, I’m kidding you (the work, not the course) but of course.

Did our Christmas shopping on Saturday, but it does looks like it is my Christmas shopping. Of the 10 odd things we bought, 99.99% of it belongs to me. Oh yes, I love to shop. Once or twice yearly (or thrice, forth etc etc) OR whenever I feel like it. But hor, nowadays expenditure must be prudent. Did you hear, see or feel me buying anything extravagant lately? Ah, the sign of wanting to settle down permanently (or for the longest haul) with Snoopy. It will be tough; the saving, living together, trying not to strangle me during my sleep (no matter how tempting it look) etc etc but my dear snoopy is committed for the long haul too. Heee

Have a Merrily little Christmas (in case I no update till the longest time)… Busy lah

你就像个小孩 by 阿杜

夜深了, 深到只听见心跳
你睡了, 睡到泪水都干了
我要往哪里逃, 黑夜沉沉笼罩
慌慌张张的脚步, 红红的脸在发烧　

心乱了, 不知该如何是好
爱醉了, 原来我们需要拥抱　
你却一再缠绕, 缠着那些煩恼
单纯的说好不好, 我们爱到老　

你就像个小孩, 一心要爱却不懂其中的无奈
迷路在人海, 却找不回来天真不变的洁白　
我也像个小孩, 痴痴的爱都不怕有怎样的伤害　
我痛你的痛, 我苦你的苦尽管很难熬, 太阳就快出来了　
今夜有最深沉的梦梦里有最亮的天空

I MIGHT BE SHORT BUT I AM THE BOSS

2008-11-22T15:57:00.002+08:00

22 November 2008
Saturday (31 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1600 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 猜不透 by 丁當
Mood: *I ish Ok Lah*

Was walking home after work last evening when suddenly a sense of strangeness overwhelmed me… It is a strange feeling, you know, those kind of funny feeling that you can’t put a word to it… it seems like wrong but the left feels right… you know, those kind of things…

Anyway, here’s a rundown of the weeks of missing in action

10, 11, 12 … November … Cow, I don’t recall anything significance…damn…

Oh cow… let’s see… deep down in my grey matter… anything I could remember?

I know I did a couple of runs and weights, trying to keep fit for IPPT. Then I kena arrowed for race duty on Wednesday. Not to come across as being a wuss but it did spoil my entire day and night.

Oh yes, raining season is here. Got a lot more rain than usual. As usual too, it never rains in here, it Pours. Ya ya…

Spending the days with my honey, night and day, day and night. Ah, we also started on our mission to raise money for our future home. How? We gona be prudent (make that extra prudent) in our expenditure and income. Future home with my Love, Here we come. Be good and stay there ok? We will return… don’t run run around…

Anyway, before I go, did you know that Louis Vuitton, ya, that French dude of leather "luxury" goods, will make you a special one-off case for anything you ask for. If you can throw down the cash to pay for the work that is. That brings us back to the question of how outrageous is outrageous?

Apparently also, this is not a new service, just that I have never heard of it until today, when me, in my state of semi consciousness, stumbled upon the most ridiculous tech accessory I've ever seen. Who could blame me… It is like… A Bag, any bag for anything… Oh well, told you its good to be rich…

It's an iPod carrying trunk made of black Taiga leather with brass embellishments and a red microfiber interior made to spec for Chanel designer Karl Lagerfeld. Don't believe me is it? Dude had his red initials engraved on top of the lid (As KL, what else)

The majestic travel case houses a smaller drawer inside that can hold 20 iPods at once along with chargers, headphones, Maltese Falcons, and other accessories in Karl's mysterious cache. Karl’s also instructed LV to cut him a compartment specifically for his precious JBL Creature iPod speakers and subwoofer combo.

Wait, back up a bit...why does he have 20 iPods? And what, JBL Creature speakers? Are you kidding me? Is there a spot in there for his Apple Newton and spare floppy disks, too? Someone should probably escort Mr. Lagerfeld to the nearest external hard drive shop and blow his mind. After that, maybe a crash course on the progressive history of laptops and the current state of high fidelity speakers. Actually, forget it; maybe he can just pay Louis Vuitton to build him a leather-wrapped time machine to transport him back to 2004

Like I said, everything and anything is all B.S. The only truth is… It gona be take a while…

THE MUD ON MY FACE IS SOIL, MY SOIL

2008-11-09T09:19:00.001+08:00

9 November 2008
Sunday (25 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 0900 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 猜不透 by 丁當
Mood: *I ish Sick, Sibei Sick*

It doesn’t help that while working last afternoon, I have to compete with headache, body aching, the need to kick some ass, the love for my admin assistant(S)!! and my… real work. Damn, it wasn’t too good initially, with all these factors but gradually, it becometh better than it got worse, than got better, got worse… The whole cycle just go on for a couple of spins till now. I am keeping my finger crossed. Hopefully I am really feeling better…

Speaking of racial minority becoming a leader of the masses; don’t say minority race, other country folks of the same race also damn cheebye difficult if you know what I mean (as shown below)…

You see, I was walking home many nights ago when from afar, I saw 2 bicycles on their way towards me... Usually I will try to keep clear for them to pass safely but on that night, something else crop up…

Something LIKE Both were not riding singly; they ride side by side, talking cheebye cock to each other. It is like this scenario, either I stop in my track, get off the cemented road and onto the muddy grass patch or risk getting bicycle crashed to injuries… then it happened. A ray of damn bright spot of LED punctured through the darken skies… onto my face. I looked up and had a revelation

I lived in my estate for as far as I can remembered
I have been walking in that lane for as far as my leg can start moving around
I studied diligently at the school next to it
I recited my pledge and sang the national anthem on that school atrium every day
I run many many many miles on the jogging path alongside it
I sweat many a ton from my walk back from my national service for 2 ½ years
I certainly paid my fair share of taxes to maintain and upkeep the road
I even will kiss the cemented pathway… if need arises lah

Then WHY the fuck I should back out onto the grass patch and let the foreign trash pass just so that they can fucking talking cock with each other.

This is my land, THIS IS MY MOTHERLAND. I TOIL AND SWEAT FOR THE SURVIVAL OF MY MOTHERLAND. I serve my nation, protecting its interest and do my duty as a citizen. Then why can’t I even walk on my land?

So I did what I am entitled to… I walk bravely (even risk getting crash), confidently and defiantly towards the incoming barrage. One of the cyclist (whose race shall remain unknown henceforth), sensing my intent and bend on killing him, decided it is in his best interest to slow down; quite abruptly and nearly got itself swerved off course (and thereby maybe, just maybe getting killed…) But I don’t give a hoot… I seriously do NOT give a SHIT. This is my motherland and I have every damn right to walk the cemented path! The rest of the cheebye foreign trash can go and fuck themselves.

The mud on my face is soil, MY SOIL!

Ah, the perilous of living my life.

Before I go, here’s something for my honey…

I will be honest, patient, gentle, (trying) to be less senile and to hug you at every given opportunity (even if I have to MAKE ONE) and planting that kiss when you least notice it. And that you will be forgiving towards my idiosyncrasy and my stupidity (at times lah). But above all, I promise to treasure and care for you and in every way, to be worthy of your love. I love you.

FOUND ON ANOTHER BABY’S TEE: ALL I WANTED WAS A BLOWJOB

2008-11-06T22:19:00.002+08:00

6 November 2008
Thursday (34 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2200 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 断线 by 万芳
Mood: *I am not very the fucking pleased*

I am not very pleased.

I just lost 30K in my CPF investment account. Last year I did an investment sum of 45K and now it is worth only a third of its value… No words can express my immerse displeasure. I mean, what can have happened to wipe 2/3 of its value off, just like that. Oh yes, I forgot, it is for LONG TERM. That is what people who has no idea, absolutely at all or gave a shit to you would say. I am guessing one for each of the person whom sold me the plans.

And when life is old so B.E.A.U.Tiful , you know there will be some asshole who will fucked it up, dearly. For one, I know shits of the things I am paying for in my insurance and I am not very pleased about that. My insurance agent is crap. Basically just pure shit; never mind he say until like so smart like that. At the end of the day, He is nothing but a whole bollocks of hot fucking air. Come on! Just consolidate all my insurance thingy very difficult meh? Nabei Vagina…

One thing to solve at a time. I want to make sure everything I am paying for in Insurance is what I wanted and actually know what the fuck I am paying for. Fucking cows… As you can see, I am not at all very happy about things now… And whoever fuck get on my nerve, you fucking will die cock standing. I am pretty sure about that too. So stay away, you have been forewarned.

On a happier note (though I am still like shit), my sister-in-law is pregnant and my kid brother is gona be a dad soon (like in another 7 more months). This has got to be the highlight of next year events. My kid little brother is gona be a Dad! Gosh, that’s awesome! And I am going to be an Uncle! And My honey gona be an Aunty! *silence* Errm, Honey honey honey gona be Aunty

Of course, the happiest person on earth (beside my kid brother, sister-in-law, honey, etc etc) has to be my mum. She was practically grinning ear to ear since last morning. And for obvious reason (she has been using the HE to address the baby), she has assumed the little Billy Jr to be… well, Billy Junior. That is, I am guessing too, an equivalent of a BOY. I hate to break the news to her, it is only like 6 weeks, how to know what sex. But then, some things are better left unsaid. Who knows…

Oh yes, Obama is the 44th President of the United States. Damn… Joe Biden is the next Vice President (Double Damned). Someone should vote Sarah Palin and Tina Fey to be the next incumbent. If you know who Palin and Fey are, you are fucking brilliant. Go on, Congrats yourself for being knowledgeable. Sadly, these types of tête-à-tête never ever popped out during discussion with anyone nowadays. It is not the type of conversation that will excite anyone in my circles now. How things have changed. It is no longer politics and social issues but money, sex and brooze, yes, those kinds of things. Just plain oh Human’s issues… Why am I even bothered to carry the burden of such pain and mind numbing recurrences?

At times, I felt like kicking fucking humans, knowing how people around me are like… Laymen? Just a wholesome bunch of Simple Old Folks, trying to make their way home. Mere mortals whom only interests are sex, money and brooze. Maybe, just maybe, love. But I digress…

I don’t have to bear this shit… But then, to what purpose… To what fucking purpose. Here’s a toast to a simple life. I am walking with the masses, with no purpose and no direction. We are lost and we can never ever get out. We are fucked… No, I am fucked. Yes, that sort of drift…

Oh fuck, Just fucking shut the fuck up… seriously

FOUND ON A BABY’S TEE: ALL I WANTED WAS A BACK RUB

2008-10-30T21:19:00.000+08:00

30 October 2008
Thursday (32 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 断线 by 万芳
Mood: *I am Good*

Yesterday, I found out (the hard way) the hazard of growing old and the fragility of human body. I sneezed a couple of times and sprain my neck muscle. On the third sneeze, I can feel the sudden jot of electrical shock on my neck and the next moment, I can’t really move my neck a lot. How? Die…

Of all life’s joy and humor, I now cannot move my neck freely. To make matter worse, I can hardly check my blind spot without moving my entire body (which is especially bad when I’m driving). Oh well, reach office, told my clerks about it and the first thing on their mind (which translate to their verbal conversation); Better stay away from Bird… Lest he starts scolding them (which I never) and make life difficult (and I protest that). Anyway, it was a long and tiring day, especially with the races going on. It was SO long and tiring that when it rained heavily last night and I didn’t even notice it till this morning while peeing. My mom even navigated my room’s obstacle course without making a noise (I am guessing this, since I was not consciously aware of anything…) and closes the windows. Damn, either I am too washed out or I am too washed out. How? Die Cock

Honey suggests acupuncture at some ulu place for my neck. I readily agreed because neck wasn’t moving in any direction when I woke up this morning and that would normally suggest getting a professional to check it out. Oh well… then the inevitable happened, my tyre was flatted… the best part? I don’t even know when and how… Except that the nail is the culprit (yup THAT Fucking Nail).

How? Die Cock Standing

Honey got some sealant and air canister thingy to temporarily inflate it and with that, we managed to reach a repair shop and get it patched up.

Reach the Traditional Chinese Medical clinic after our favorite pepper lunch at IMM. The doctor see see, poke poke and explain every aspect of my problem… TO MY HONEY. Nabei, dirty old man… Like I transparent like that… CB… I felt like a human subject also. But he is good lah, jab a needle, nudge my back, twist my head, jab another shot on my shoulder and suddenly, the burden was miraculously lifted. I felt so good and alive after like 30 hours of pain and discomfort. Damn… Acupuncture actually works! But still, he is a DOM.

Reach home, cut hair, decided to go Marina Square to do up our house digital voice and got myself another golf bag (a smaller version to house a few clubs; usually for driving range practice session). Since I spent like 1k plus on my irons, I figure it would be prudent to have a couple more accessories haha. It’s like this one… Everything also must buy, then buy already… Feeling lagi happier haha.

Fucking cow… I nearly fell off my chair when I saw my credit card bill… 5K! But I am happy… Cos I am happy. That is something 5K can’t buy, like ever… Also, I have a great Honey whom understand the WHY I am doing WHAT I am doing. Tell me lah, where to find such gems like Honey? In another note, she shed some light on my buddy’s behavior. I shall spare you the details but then, it goes to show how much he respect my life and as a buddy. Enough said.

Was telling honey over lunch today the difference between Stress, Tension and Panic…

Stress is when your wife is pregnant
Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant
Panic is when both are pregnant.

Honey Honey Honey…. I missed her already

Oh yes, my kid brother owe me the IDD cost. No call back for the past week and see lah, have to call him using my cell to assured mom he is OK! And that wouldn’t come cheap man! haha

HE TALKS BUT NO ONE LISTENS, SO HE SHOT THE BIRD

2008-10-22T19:58:00.000+08:00

22 October 2008
Wednesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2000 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 断线 by 万芳
Mood: *I am free today*

Finally, I can take a breather…

I have been busy since my kid brother wedding in early September… then my Best friend wedding, then go Phuket, then go Hong Kong, then go ICT… Every week also rushing for time, not to mention a couple of them burnt for races… Oh well…

ICT briefing went exceptionally well, except that I am like the oldest chap there. No kidding, my men/peers/superior all damn young; in their early to mid twenties. So bird is the oldest and most kuai Lan chap around. It’s a strange feeling, putting on my camouflage uniform like 10 years later. I can still fit in (barely) and once in it, vulgarities just spew forth in a damn poetic way that would make Shakespeare blush. I am equally amazing how much time the Army can waste, just so objectives are met…seems like not everything will change for better or for worse, particularly after a decade…

Finally also, compile my kid brother’s letters during my free time today. Honey away for meet-the-buddies-session so here I am, all free to do whatever I need to do… Figuratively speaking, beside the 6 days in Hong Kong, we practically meet like every day/night. Amazing hor… But we enjoy the time together… Awwww. Had dinner alone tonight, it does feel a little weird, without her by my side. Alas, we do need our personal time, sometimes, yes, sometimes, not too often though… heee

Oh yes, organizing a BBQ for my long-time buddies. Hopefully all can turn up, but I seriously doubt it. The most is 2 persons and if I am lucky, 3… Haha, I don’t have many friends and I am not ashamed of it. Why need so many when all you need is a few; carefully selected, through thick and thin and bonded by a single belief of faith and friendship.

Moving on, the Car side winder mirror and LCD panel miraculously recovered! Oh damn, don’t know when would it die on me again but what the heck, that’s life; You win nothing and lose everything.

Since like also, I got nothing much to update, I shall end with a joke… a short one

A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She blamed her maid in front of her husband.

The maid replied: “Sir! You should know very well I don't wear any underwear!"

断线 by 万芳

风筝不该有名字, 卒子不该过河
流浪不该有什么方向
旅途中宝贝你别回头

童年不该长大, 姑娘不该年老
邻居不该在那年搬走
落泪时情人你别掉头

走过的路是一串深浅分明的脚印
寄出的信是一张收不回的心情
不知去向的是忘了昨天的我
爱过的是断了线的你

OH WELL… ANOTHER SAD OLD DAY…

2008-10-12T21:45:00.002+08:00

12 October 2008
Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2130 (Singapore Time)
Listen: No Songs…Brain no strength today
Mood: *I am ok, seriously*

OH WELL… ANOTHER SAD OLD DAY…

It was ok, really… minus a TON of shit, I supposed, it is still OK… but really…

I was in Hong Kong since Tuesday and only got back on Saturday night. It was a nice getaway and a relatively enjoyable experience being my first time in HK. Did the official visit to my HK counterparts and spend some time at night wandering around the shopping area. Bought a couple of books, shot glasses and mugs (yup, restrict to these for my collections… and yes, in those order too).

Reach home, my honey wasn’t feeling too good about my lack of concern/love/understanding/etc. But after a good fillet-o-fish meal, some 2 hours later and with my love birds’ Swarovski crystals series, we are good. Btw, those Love Birds are cute… Will post some in my facebook for the mere mortals to ogre. And Ogre you must… Oh fuck… I’m still in blue… and why? Cos Damn the Car… Seriously

I am beginning not to like my car so much. For all its glory, there are like millions of flaws just waiting to be discovered (sounds like Women… haha). Firstly, the side mirrors refuse to close when I locked the car (via keyless entry), then my car stereo LCD decided to play punk and refuse to light up and now, tyre kena a damn nail. A NAIL!! COME ON, why would any fucker leave nails lying around!!

Cheebye… After one week away, I have tons of mails to look through, millions of blank checks to sign, and still have to service my car. Tomorrow, yes tomorrow, I will have to be at office by 6am and hopefully gone by 9am, so that I could have my car serviced. This ain’t my week… really…

First day in HK kena the cold bug, whole body damn weak and yet still have to walk around, pretend to be interested and worst still, the nose kept losing its seal. Then my golf today was fucking bad. Everybody were hitting like Pro while stupid bird is worst than a novice. Then came the tyre thingy… Told you it was a bad week. Never mind that the World financial markets just crashed for a straight 5 trading days, hitting rock bottom with no depth in sight.

But somehow, that kept me thinking for a while; like how my bonds are performing. BAD Judgment, BAD BAD Judgment. Haiz, hopefully with some effort on the celestial powers thingy, it will rebound in time for me to recoup my losses and establish a cost neutral situation. But then, knowing my luck, alas, some things are better leave unsaid and undefined. Still, the losses are a little hard to stomach, even by my standard… seriously… but hey, that’s life.

To end, let’s enjoy a little humor to kill the time, the blues and help to fill up my page too…

After numerous rounds of "We don't know if Mat Selamat is still alive", ol’ Mat himself decided to send WKS a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
WKS opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message:

370HSSV 0773H.

WKS was baffled, so he e-mailed it to Police Commissioner. He and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the CID. No one could solve it at the CID so it went to the ISD, then to the MSD.

With no clue as to its meaning, the MSD finally asked their NSF for help. Within a few seconds the NSF called back with this reply: "Tell WKS he's holding the message upside down."

AND SO IT IS

2008-10-06T22:14:00.001+08:00

6 October 2008
Monday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2230 (Singapore Time)
Listen: No Songs…No Songs
Mood: *I am like Tired*

AND SO IT IS… My kid brother, after months of anticipation, blah blah blah, left for the Grand Old Capital. The sending party was ok, mom tears a bit, dad was feeling nonchalant as usual, my Honey and I were busy taking pictures and humoring ourselves. My SIL (Sister in Law) was crying as usual, my kid brother was looking a little sad (haha). Oh well, hope he will enjoy his 3 years sojourn.

JUST LIKE YOU SAID IT WOULD BE; Mom was pretty sad during dinner last night. She saw the leftover prata (those freeze kind) in the freezer and those reminds her of my kid brother. It was partly my fault actually; I should have ate every residual thingy in the fridge that will bring back such memories haha… But then, I am like 67kg and counting… Considering that my BMI is failing badly already, so have to go slow on my eating. Besides that, I think Mom is coping quite well…

LIFE GOES EASY ON ME, MOST OF THE TIME; The car is dying on me… First day was ok, I even took it for a good car wash, never mind that the next day, it was pouring all over Singapore and dirtied the car… Then the car side mirrors refused to open and close properly. Lan Lan, suck thumb… then the Car’s stereo system LCD died. Somehow for some reason, it didn’t light up… Oh fuck. It is these little problem that gets on my nerve. Never mind ALSO that I am leaving for HK tomorrow for the business trip.

AND SO IT IS, THE SHORTER STORY; met up with my HOD at his home this evening. He is looking ok, a little breathless, much slimmer and a little weaker. But besides those, he is doing ok. Just wanted to pay him a courtesy call and to keep him abreast of the department workings… Oh well, Boss, don’t worry, everything is going on fine, just recuperate well and enjoy the time slowly. The department is under good hands, with me in charge Haha… Seriously, if he is not back soon, I might want to take over the entire department and torture every soul in it… muahaha. Oh well…

NO LOVE NO GLORY; I gona missed my honey, my lovey dovey honey. We have been together, meeting non-stop and for the past months, we are inseparable. Looks like this is going to be a long break without seeing the other. However, I find comfort, knowing that I will be seeing both my Brother and Sister in law and my Lovey Dovey Honey soon. Of course, some closer than the other, but meeting nevertheless.

NO HERO IN HER SKY… Also, I have done a little revamp of my blog, removing those I seldom follow these days. Friends whom I thought meant the world to me ain’t exactly so. Yup, I am a little disappointed and upset. Friends whom know me much lesser time took the effort to make us feel at home and going all the way to make sure everything is ok. Maybe I expected too much; Time flies, people changes, and friends whom you thought knows you best turn out otherwise. It is but a sad fact of life. Nonetheless, life’s still good and despite the occasional hiccups, it is actually quite bearable.

Maybe its me, maybe it’s the weather, but I do feel less irritated than normal whenever I sees my lovey dovey, especially with her big round eyes, nicely tied ponytail, and her slightly head tilted glaze, awww, it melts me every time. I’m so gona miss you honey…

To end, let my dear Cookie Monster has something to say about Love (Generic ones lah)

Sometimes me think what is love?
Then me saw the last cookie.
Me give up the last cookie for Honey, Brother and Sister In law…

I missed them already…

THE FANCY YOU CALL FUN

2008-10-02T20:35:00.002+08:00

2 October 2008
Thursday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2030 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 一个像夏天一个像秋天 by 范玮琪
Mood: *I am Flying*

Wow, today is a real eye opener. I know kids these days are open (minded) but I didn’t know they are that open. In front of me, on my way home in train, are 2 Uniformed clad girls making out. Yesh, making out… They practically touching each other butts, caressing their chest (breast not very formed yet… but hey, these are local girls, so no surprise…). And the greatest shock of all? The train was not too crowded, just good for everyone in the train to witness their public display of affection. And I mean everyone hor… I don’t know what can be worst, they are lesbian or they feeling the other butts.

Call me conservative… but I still believe these affections should be restricted to your private arena. I am not against homosexuality, promiscuity or whatever in vogues these days but please, in the comfort of your bedroom lah. Cow… No need to control such instinctive behavior, something so natural and fun as sexual desire… I mean why restrict ourselves? We should let it all out and have fun… Yes, Have fun in your BEDROOM! Alrighty, made my point…

So what’s been happening man? Nothing much I’m afraid. Still madly in love with my honey, still longing to see her in my waking minutes and still, yes, loving her. Awwww…Oh yes, for once, I uploaded tons of pictures in my facebook account and guess what, I am actually enjoying the process, seeing my pictures with my honey… awwww, those are times to long and remembrance for.

Work? Hmm, going for a business trip to Hong Kong next week for 5 days, then 2 days ICT (some battalion day thingy) and it all wrap up with a trip to the Zoo… that will be fun.

Speaking of fun, I have been sneezing since I’m back from Phuket. Funnily, I have been runny nosing whenever I’m in office and it gets progressively bad (like nose on running tap spoilt) as time goes by. It only becomes better when I reach home and miraculously, my nose stopped runny. Nabei… Think I’m allergic to something or someone in the office but but… who? And what? Oh great…My theory proven on Monday, Tuesday (skipped Wednesday cos of Holiday) and Thursday. Fuck cow… so how now? Lan Lan… Looks like I got to get my own ionizer, to purify the air in my work area…

That’s all for now and I promise, more updates coming… Ya, More… haha

The MTV Version

The Karaoke Version

一个像夏天一个像秋天 by 范玮琪

第一次见面看你不太顺眼, 谁知道后来关系那么密切
我们一个像夏天一个像秋天, 却总能把冬天变成了春天

你拖我离开一场爱的风雪, 我背你逃出一次梦的断裂
遇见一个人然后生命全改变, 原来不是恋爱才有的情节

如果不是你我不会相信, 朋友比情人还死心塌地
就算我忙恋爱, 把你冷冻结冰
你也不会恨我, 只是骂我几句

如果不是你我不会确定, 朋友比情人更懂得倾听
我的弦外之音, 我的有口无心
我离不开darling更离不开你

你了解我所有得意的东西, 才常泼我冷水怕我忘形
你知道我所有丢脸的事情, 却为我的美好形象保密

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN OUR LAUGHS, LONG TALKS, SILLY FIGHTS AND ALL THE JOKES, I FELL IN LOVE

2008-09-17T21:01:00.003+08:00

16 September 2008
Tuesday (33 Degree Celsius)
Afternoon @ 1500 (Singapore Time)
Listen: The Wedding by Julie Rogers
Mood: *I am Bliss*

Today was Han’s wedding. It was a tough job; hardly slept a wink the night before, wait sekali overslept then die cock stand… Reach Han’s place at 6.15 and waited till 8pm. Someone should shoot the co-coordinator. Anyway, in between all the sabo-ing, photo taking and stuffs, by the time I reach home for a breather, it was already close to 3pm. Had a quick shower and off to pick my Love for the evening’s wedding dinner. Oh my… She was so beautiful in her evening gown; and her lightly scented perfume taking my every breath away…

Did I mention she was really beautiful?

Then come the hard part… she insist I changed into something more… like… like… formal?

That’s not the hardest part… the thing is, I actually agreed and went home for a change of clothes. I cannot believe myself sometime too… the things I do to make sense of it all. But then, she meant the world to me and I love her too much, too deeply do anything otherwise. So how? I changed into another sets of clothes.

Did I mention I am really really in love with her?

Gary, Kweky, etc etc mentioned that somehow, for some reason, I seem to disappear from the surface of the earth. Yup, no see me on msn for such a long time… funny…? Oh yes, I am happily in love and spending every other minute with her. Isn’t that a great thing? Sorry Folks, I’ll be back, as and when I am free, this I promise you. Also, for your information, I finally drag my fat ass out and closed an episode of my life. No more historical burden, no more of either of us in our life. We are finally disconnected. Oh well… on the bright side, I am like a hundred bucks richer…

So many more wedding dinners (and chauffeur duties) to do with my love. Well, on the bright side, I get to see her that every other minute of our life. Awwwww

Somewhere between our laughs, long talks, silly fights and all the jokes, I fell in love with you.

It was our first anniversary together… And I promise to sing this song to you when we are at our aisle.

The Wedding by Julie Rogers

You by my side that's how I see us
I close my eyes and I can see us
We'll on our way to say "I do"
My secret dreams have all come true

I see the church, I see the people
Your folks and mine happy and smiling
And I can hear sweet voices singing "Ave Maria"

Oh, my love, my love
This can really be
That someday you've walking down the aisle with me
Let it be, make it be
That I'm the one for you
I'll be yours, all yours now and forever

I see us now your hand in my hand
This is the hour, this is the moment
And I can hear sweet voices singing
Ave Maria, Ave Maria, Ave Maria

WHEN PEOPLE SAY “ YOU JUST WANT TO HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO”. YOU DAMN RIGHT I AM, WHAT GOOD IS A CAKE IF I CAN’T EAT IT!

2008-09-08T09:55:00.002+08:00

8 September 2008
Monday (29 Degree Celsius)
Fine Morning @ 0910 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Blower’s Daughter by Tanya Chua
Mood: *I am bery bery happy*

Finally, all the anticipation, the excitement and nagging (on my mom’s part mostly), my dearest little brother is married. And yes, I pleasantly got a sister (in law only). How cool is that? (anyway I fucking hate that how cool thingy… but sometime I need to feel himbo-ish a bit). The wedding was fun, albeit a little tiring. But seeing how happy everyone was, it is worth every bit of it.

It was a crazy week. Got arrowed flying around, my chief undergoing bypass, my department got into a little PMS-ing mode, I WAS a little PMS-ing mode myself and this made my poor honey in a little desperation mode. Tell me everything I PMS, console me I PMS, do anything I also PMS… I’m sorry honey, I will try to be less pissy…

Some funny things along the week:

I was peeing in the urinal when I happened to press the flush button a little too hard… then it happened. The whole urinal was flooded and the best part is, I didn’t even notice until it sounded like water overflowing while I’m washing my hands. Tried a few remedy, didn’t work and that’s where it gets interesting. My demon (which looks a tad too similar to me) appears.

Demon: Gee Bird, this is fun… and now… RUN!!

Before I could explain my situation to him (It’s a him, as obvious), my Angel (who coincidentally also look like me) appear next

Angel: No, Bird. You created this mess (Bird: as if I really care) and now it is your responsibility to solve it (Bird: Booo hooo).

Anyway, risk getting lightning strike, I decided to call in to my maintenance people for help. And it was during lunch time. Needless to say, they came after lunch. But hey, I did my best… and you know what is the more cheebye thing? Everything spoilt people just conveniently approach me. How do I look like to them? Nabei… Can they be less stupid and get someone else’s’?

Sometimes, things in life are meant TO BE questioned; like why your girlfriend came back from the grocery store with the brand of paper towel that costs $3 more a roll than the kind you buy. Others aren’t. Like things in the army…

MINDEF has succeeded in building a computer, able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military, Ministers and MPs are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: Attack or Retreat?

The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer:

YES.

The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer:

YES WHAT?

Instantly the computer responded:

YES SIR

EVERY BIG HIKES STARTS WITH A SMALL HIKE

2008-09-01T20:29:00.004+08:00

1 September 2008
Monday (27 Degree Celsius)
Nice Evening @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Blower’s Daughter by Tanya Chua
Mood: *I am very Happy*

My Daily Routine

Wake up
Scratch ass
Go work
Shoot Horse
Lunch
Complain
See email
Go home

Anyway, it has been a long time since I am last posted anything…. So what’s been up?

Blissfully nice…

So to finish off my long awaited entry… here’s a joke

The couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out into town and party, so he says to his new wife: “Honey, I'll be right back...”

“Where are you going coochi cooh...?” Asks the wife.

“I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer”

The wife puts her hands on her hips and says to him: “You want a beer my love...?”

Then she opens the door to the refrigerator and shows him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc....

The husband doesn't know what to do, and the only thing that he can think of saying is: “Yes, loolie loolie ... but the bar .... you know ...the frozen glass”

He didn't get to finish saying the sentence, when the wife interrupts him by saying: “You want a frozen glass puppy face...?”

She takes out of the freezer a huge beer mug so frozen that the wife was getting the chills from holding it.

The husband looking a bit pale says: “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hoer's de devours that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?”

“You want hoer's de devours poochi pooh..?” She opens the oven and takes out 15 dishes of different hoer's de devours ...chicken wings, pigs in the blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc...

“But sweet honey ... at the bar ... you know ... the swearing, the dirty words and all that...”

“You want dirty words cutie pie...?”

HERE, DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR FUCKING FROZEN GLASS AND EAT YOUR FUCKING SHIT HOER'S DE VOURS, BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!...

Nice… Oh yes, I love my honey… Always

IT’S NOT MUCH BUT IT’S ALL I HAVE

2008-08-03T08:53:00.003+08:00

3 August 2008
Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
Nice Morning @ 0850 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Various by 苏永康
Mood: *I is still Happy*

Nothing much to update… so how?

I post MTVs… Enjoy!

爱似狂潮 by 苏永康

一个人逃不开寂寥, 两颗心反覆煎熬
渴望能与你相守到老, 谁都挡不了

就算是那样的拥抱, 发现你还是想逃
悲伤快乐紧紧的缠绕, 却不能不要

熄了灯我睡不着, 回忆还任性喧闹
任情绪慢慢往下掉, 有多苦你不明了

爱似狂潮, 爱似浪涛
我不要苏醒的太早
宁愿身陷泥沼, 只求多爱你一秒

爱似狂潮, 爱似浪涛
不计较你给的多少
不在乎梦变薄, 只记得你的好

旧爱还是最美 by 苏永康

半夜看 cable 的舊電影寂寞好深
像看自己從前, 從前的幸福和愚蠢

電影裡主角回頭的淚痕, 那淚痕
忽然好想舊情人的柔軟雙唇

人一輩子常常只有, 只有一次緣份
錯過就再也遇不到那麼好的人

於是心裡不時飄浮暖暖那個吻
從此能付出的情愛也不完整

oh～不自禁找尋很像她的情人
但是沒有誰有像她的靈魂

舊愛還是最美, 美的東西往往太早枯萎
後悔時的淚水, 又特別讓人覺得無力疲憊

舊愛還是最美, 有時分手不是誰負了誰
兩個對的人卻在錯的時候愛了一回

Sorry by 苏永康

Sorry... I am really sorry.
我又一次把你气哭在陌生街头

爱你...我当然爱你
自从第一眼到现在什至没人敢预测的将来

请你相信不是我不愿意改变我自已
而是一再努力又一再放弃那个软弱的自已

其实我恨透了我自已没有认输的勇气
让你受尽了不安和委屈

你是我这一生这一生最最最害怕去伤害到的人
也是我这一生这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人

虽然我并没有并没有并没有一身温纯的灵魂
但是我很愿意很愿意做那个永远照顾你的人

我的爱人请听我有颗不善言语的心
只能够看着你远处的背影

我们都是贪爱的人 by 苏永康

我站在镜子前, 看着昨夜渐渐的走远
早晨的空气太冷

剃刀划过脸的边缘, 割断了昨夜滋长的纠结
刀锋的感觉太冷

感觉不到你的体温, 杯边却残留着你的印痕
想起了你温热的唇, 耳边有一种隐隐的疼

我们都是贪爱的人, 所以才会爱得那么沉
占有彼此每一寸, 不分晨昏

我们都是贪爱的人, 所以才会痛得那么深
哪怕燃尽一生的缘份, 没有回程

我和你 by 苏永康

我放慢脚步陪你走, 用淡淡温柔往分手那头
气氛很安静没有人激动, 了解让两颗心都从容

你笑着抬头泪滑落, 把一滴眼泪放进我的手
你说你和梦醒的差不多, 当初要的现在已不同

一起转身去寻觅, 找到原来的自己
想爱与相爱间的差距这一次
终于把真相彻底看清才相信

我和你都尽了全力, 抓不紧爱情却抓伤自己
出口和伤口同一个楼梯
问心无愧就没对不起

我和你都尽了全力却放弃, 不是逃避不说委屈
爱给每个人一定的年纪
经历分离

爱已离开 by 苏永康

這份愛已經過去, 記憶卻不肯停
雖然努力地壓抑, 還是管不住自己的心
我無法一一地忘記, 也不能夠一一地放棄

這一切不再延續, 想念卻不肯停
雖然努力地克制, 還是關不緊自己的心
我無法完全的忘記, 也不能夠完全的放棄

So I'm lonely 愈來愈清晰
就這麼侵蝕著我不曾安靜的心

So I'm lonely 充滿每個夜裡
緊緊地跟隨直到天明 *

愛已離開, 經過了時間
我終於能夠明白, 愛不會再回來

愛已離開, 經過了等待
我終於真的明白, 愛不會再回來

乘虚而入 by 苏永康

亲爱的别哭, 慢慢把话说清楚
沉默是最难抵抗的冲突
只听到彼此的孤独

别轻言结束, 让我有机会弥补
我不再让一切以我为主
不会再让你跟不上我的脚步

是我自私, 我麻木
我忘了付出
一切都是我的疏忽
才会让你心里多了一个角落
让寂寞填补

女人的心, 男人若不能保护
还有什么资格谈幸福
我不该让寂寞一再的和你相处
一再乘虚而入

我清楚, 爱情里唯一的企图
是让对方觉得被在乎
让彼此感到幸福

盲人 by 苏永康

爱是心灵的摸索, 是你点醒那眼眸
拥抱你的快乐, 等候你的哀愁
你主宰爱情的颜色

听太多你的传说, 是我关上我耳朵
不想回头, 追寻你的路走
看清楚事实又如何

我的爱盲目我的眼
无力去恨我情愿看不见
了解需要时间, 相信你没变
你只是离的远

我用爱盲目我的眼
我的世界在我心田
除非你亲口说再见
情人都有一张
永远不凋谢的容颜

爱一个人好难 by 苏永康

你说你还是喜欢孤单, 其实你怕被我看穿
你怕属于我们的船, 飘飘荡荡靠不了岸

时到如今没有答案, 我的真心为你牵荡
不管相见的夜多么难堪, 渐渐淡淡的说, 爱是不爱

想要把你忘记真的好难, 思念的痛在我心里纠缠
朝朝暮暮的期盼, 永远没有答案, 为何当初你选择一刀两段

听你说声爱我真的好难, 曾经说过的话风吹云散
站在天平的两端, 一样的为难
唯一的答案, 爱一个人好难

我不是爱过就算的人 by 苏永康

点不燃你心中那盏灯, 就在大风的夜我等了又等
悬空的心总在星光中翻滚, 坠落一杯满满情真

忘不了梦里轻轻一吻, 就在热闹的街我向前狂奔
期盼的眼终于溢出了泪痕, 装满一碗浓浓情深

我不是一个爱过就算的人, 爱过的每一刹那都是我永恒
哪怕风愈吹愈冷, 哪怕爱情有伤痕
你还是我最思念的人

我不是一个爱过就算的人, 只希望有个诚恳无悔的过程
哪怕你永远不能, 就算我孤注一生
也不介意在你眼眸里自焚

让懂你的人爱 by 苏永康

你忘不了开始的甜蜜, 却怕想起未来的情景
他是会认错的听你哭泣, 直到下次又不小心忘记

你解释着孤寂和无力, 他却相信那只是情绪
当埋怨都变得没有意义, 你想留住的是什么东西

离开爱过的人和回忆, 怎能不挣扎不痛心
但是一个最难的决定, 往往是最好的决定

让懂你的人爱你, 重选一份值得坚持的感情
爱只要有一点点冲动就可以
了解却少些默契都不行

让懂你的人爱你, 别舍不得过去只为了可惜
相爱不只是走进对方的生活
更要能走入彼此的生命

I ISH HAPPY

2008-07-28T21:43:00.002+08:00

28 July 2008
Monday (32 Degree Celsius)
Hot Evening @ 2120 (Singapore Time)
Listen: When you kiss me by Shania Twain
Mood: *I is Happy*

When two people join together and bond their lives forever because they are certain they have something special that will make their marriage last... This is the first act of faith.

Upon this act of faith, these two people will build a life. And as long as their determination stays with them, this life will always be their hope, their dream, their truth, their being, their inspiration, and their source of strength.

Through their life together, they will hurt and laugh.

Together, they will feel all of life's ups and downs.

They will learn and grow through trial and error.

The lessons will show them the meaning of true love and the difference between a love that lasts and one that just gives up.

These two people will face each failure together and discover the strength to go on. They will encourage each other's dreams and forgive each other's faith.

Through a labor of love, these two will become as one - fighting against the odds and ultimately creating a marriage that will grow into an infinite love.

When you kiss me by Shania Twain

This could be it, I think I'm in love
It's love this time

It just seems to fit, I think I'm in love
This love is mine

I can see you with me when I'm older
All my lonely nights are finally over
You took the weight of the world off my shoulders (the world just goes away)

Oh, when you kiss me, I know you miss me
And when you're with me, the world just goes away
The way you hold me, the way you show me that you adore me
Oh, when you kiss me
Oh, yeah
You are the one, I think I'm in love
Life has begun
I can see the two of us together
I know I'm gonna be with you forever
Love couldn't be any better

是否太晚, 路已走远, 走不回你身边

2008-07-20T11:03:00.003+08:00

20 July 2008
Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Lonely Morning @ 1020 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 雨天 by 孙燕姿
Mood: *I’m Sad*

I was down with a slight cold, all thanks to the quarantine station. I visited the stupid place with my boss on Wednesday. We had to suit up and walk around in this ridiculously non-porous white overall that restricts any air movement under a 34 degree Celsius brightly lit sun. My dress shirt and pants were soak in sweat, somehow, it occurred to me later that my boss maybe just right when he suggest leaving my work clothes out… But then again…

In and out of air con room, still have the mandatory shower requirement. HOT, COLD, HOT, COLD… Damn, I am lucky to be alive. Anyway, decided to take the Cold/Flu formula drink. As you are vaguely aware, I usually let the cold run its course, lest it drag on ages (the medication effect). But somehow, I needed to be strong and alive for

*Censored for Everyone's sake*

SO how? Enjoy the song

雨天 by 孙燕姿

站在十字路的交点, 该怎么走
我却只剩回头
除了你给的伞我再也没有, 别的借口
去拥有你的什么

你能体谅我有雨天, 偶尔胆怯你都了解
过去那些大雨落下的瞬间, 我突然发现
谁能体谅我的雨天, 所以情愿回你身边
此刻脚步会慢一些

如此坚决, 你却越来越远
牵手和分手来自同一双手, 做回朋友
我却为何不懂挽留

是否太晚路已走远, 我的眼眶泪太满
走不回你身边

当爱情走到禁头时, 兩个人会勇敢诚认, 还是选择逃避?

2008-07-19T01:42:00.004+08:00

19 July 2008
Saturday Morning (27 Degree Celsius)
Lonely Night @ 0150 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 领悟 by 辛晓琪
Mood: *I’m Sorry*

I always like this song, and a couple of others. But nothing brings one closer to the feeling of lost and spirited like this song.

啊, 多么痛的领悟, 你曾是我的全部

A simple one sentence, it completes the story of my life.

For you, for me, for us.

The Original

The Live Version

领悟 by 辛晓琪

我以为我会哭, 但是我没有
我只是征征望著你的脚步, 给你我最后的祝福
这何尝不是一种领悟, 让我把自己看清楚
虽然那无爱的痛苦, 将日日夜夜在我灵魂最深处

我以为我会报复. 但是我没有
当我看到我深爱过的男人, 竟然像孩子一样无助！
这何尝不是一种领悟, 让你把自己看清楚
被爱是奢侈的幸褔, 可惜你从来不在乎

啊, 一段感情就此结束
啊, 一颗心眼看要荒芜
我们的爱若是错误, 愿你我没有白白受苦
若曾真心真意付出, 就应该满足

啊, 多么痛的领悟, 你曾是我的全部
只是我回首来时路的每一步, 都走得好孤独
啊, 多么痛的领悟, 你曾是我的全部
只愿你挣脱情的枷锁, 爱的束缚
任意追逐, 别再为爱受苦

THERE IS NOTHING ONE CAN DO WITHOUT

2008-07-12T20:08:00.002+08:00

12 July 2008
Saturday (30 Degree Celsius)
Lazy Evening @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 永远 by 辛晓琪
Mood: *Boo*

Looks like a long past/future week ahead. So what the hell did I do? Well, let’s not dwell on the technicality but more on the big picture… LIKE… Like nothing much…

So how now brown cow? Let’s talk about “There is nothing one cannot do without”. Sunshine shared this with me yesterday. I hate to admit, but there is some truth in it, like on tour for instance. Forgot some stuff? Buy lor… Forget Underwear, buy lor… Yes, stuffs like that. So it might be easier to understand by and rephrase the title into; There is nothing money can’t buy. I rest my case…

Then then… what about Love? Ah, the intangible thing again. The imperfection of life; mathematically speaking. Damn it, Love always spoilt market and make life damn miserable; to every fuckers and bugs alike. Oh well, that’s life. NO, that is NOT Life, life is not like that!!! Ya, right… Tell that to Money.

Speaking of life, I am teaching my colleague how NOT to fuck it up sending simple email. Nabei, send email to his supreme commander (read Bird), like send to underlying like that. I simply cannot stomach his cheebye email! Speaking of Nabei, CY was asking me what Nabei means…

Thought I have post this sometime back, but for the uninitiated, it refers to the Planet Naboo where coincidentally is the birth place of Princess Leia and her mother Padme Amidala (yup, Ah Luke mom). I kid you not… Go and do searches but I digress. Anyway, that’s the origin of Naboo. Nabei on the other hand… is another ball game altogether.

I gave up… I will just wallow in self pity and wrestle in mud with the pig. Both are redundant, really; cos while you are grieving and getting all dirty, the Pig is actually enjoying it. So how? Fuck me…

And the Original

永远 by 辛晓琪

我以为这个样子能回到以前, 从一开始一步一步过到这一天
我以为自己可以剪下这一切, 地转天旋一页一页失踪的时间

一封情书一场痛哭庆幸还有顽固, 原来有过的温度后来走到这一步
我们都辛苦（我们都在乎）

我才不管泪水有多鹹谁也看不见
我才不说回忆有多甜谁也听不见
爱情的背面一片沈默的世界

走了太远都没力气去后悔, 不该说的每句话忘了睡的每一天
我们之间因为只差这一天到不了永远

走了太远都没力气去后悔, 不该说的每句话忘了睡的每一天
我们之间只有记忆直到永远, 到不了永远在我们之间
走了太远都没力气去后悔, 不该说的每句话忘了睡的每一天

我们之间因为只差这么一天, 爱情到不了永远　Hey...
到不了永远....到不了永远....到不了永远　Wooh...

PLEASE, DON’T THROW THE CIGARETTES BUTTS ON THE FLOOR, THE COCKROACHES ARE GETTING CANCER.

2008-07-06T13:35:00.001+08:00

6 July 2008
Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
LazyAfternoon @ 1310 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 开始懂了 by 孙燕姿
Mood: *Bleh*

I survived yet another bout of flu bug. Come to think of it, it was a long healing/recovery process. I was weak, easily tired and stuffs. I even gave up smoking for the longest time. Slowly but surely, I am getting better. The only silver lining? I shred 3 kg to 63kg during the ordeal.

And I thought I never would ever reach 63 (which coincidentally is my ideal BMI…). But then CY has a point, I will regain this in a matter of weeks (if not already). Oh great… That brings me to the aftermath of losing so much so fast… I actually felt lighter and healthier. Albeit I have not been jogging or exercising for 2 weeks. Damn…Whatever that doesn’t kill me will make me stronger…

Been rotting like nobody business. I think I am going to take up some serious reading and hobbies. Cannot go on rotting, it will erode my mind also. But why, what, where, how and when… That is why also, I prefer to live alone. No distraction, nothing. I do whatever I like, whenever I feel like doing. Gosh, 4th of July. Still remember last year on America Independence Day. I was wishing (and it did) for a heavy rain to dampen those BBQ buggers. Oh well… How time flies… Been a year since my return. So many things have happened, not all for the better. Whatever it is, it happened for a reason and there is no other way it could have happened the way it happened. Oh fuck… I’m getting bored.

What else for the updates? Nothing much, life still goes on. With or without you… But I would very much want you to be in it… But alas, such things are such contrive, just like everything else around here, all for the sake of appearances.

I am besieged by my own mortality.

How? Today got beer, today drunk. Life’s easier that way.

开始懂了 by 孙燕姿

我竟然没有调头, 最残忍那一刻
静静看你走, 一点都不像我

原来人会变得温柔, 是透澈的懂了
爱情是流动的, 不由人的
何必激动着要理由

相信你只是怕伤害我, 不是骗我
很爱过谁会舍得, 把我的梦摇醒了
宣布幸福不会来了

用心酸微笑去原谅了, 也翻越了
有昨天还是好的, 但明天是自己的
开始懂了, 快乐是选择

BIRD IS SICK, VERY SICK

2008-06-29T08:22:00.004+08:00

29 June 2008
Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
HOT Morning @ 0810 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 小情歌 by 苏打绿
Mood: *Bleh*

It all started on Wednesday… I had a sudden bout of muscle and body soreness. It was bad but bearable. Thursday was pretty ok, I even had the urge to go for my weekly run. Lucky did not…

Then came Friday. Morning was ok, I can still joke around at home before I left for work. Reach MRT station and wanted to see the doctor to get some cold medication. But damn crowded, so lan lan, went straight to work. At work, increasingly, I began to feel very sick. I was wondering, how can a common cold be this bad? Took my beloved buggy and went back to the clinic. Waited for 1 hour before I met the doctor.

Sometime during the waiting period, I wonder out (nearly LOUDLY), WHAT can be so difficult to treat a fricking leg pain (one middle age woman) and fever (some low life form). They practically spent 10 min with the doctor! No matter and lan lan, I endure. It only serves to progress my pain. Only after the meet the doctor session that I was diagnosed with Flu, not common cold. No wonder my body aches like nobody business and surprisingly not much of a runny nose or cough.

That is only the beginning of my nightmare. Even though I am fucking sick (at this point… I was in real agony), there is no one to cover my race duties. Damn it! Asked my technical officer to stand in but she gave so many conditions (like cannot stand too long, cannot be out in the open too long, must stay inside aircon room). My clerks were telling her, in a nicer way, to fuck herself. So lan lan…

Endure the pain, the body aching, the fever, and more panadol. But my clerks were very nice, kept telling me to go back to room to rest, they can managed the whole shebang thingy, even though last Friday was about as much of a nightmare as one can visually imagined. Every race got like 14 horses running… and WHY? Cos SM Goh (Yup, Lau Goh) was the VIP for the day and apparently, someone up there wants to impress him, so what can be more appropriate than having him seeing every races full of horses… Their pride, my pain…

While resting and agonizing over my pain, my chief commented, I look terrible. Yup, says Bird, but I’ll survived. Ho Ho Ho, he replied, that, is a matter of opinion… Anyway, took a cab home and rest. Didn’t sleep well too, basically the whole package sunk in and I bore the full blunt of it. Throat damn sore, every joints in body aching, the whole head in pain and high fever. Body tired, but can’t sleep…

Its amazing how I survive the night. Slowly but surely I will survive. Drats…

I just love to complain… Anyway, it is one thing to be near the edge of death and another to have to smile even though bird nearly kicks the bucket… seriously…

To end, a JOKE, A JOKE! Save you cowpeh ALL I ever do is cowpehing… there is some truth in that...

Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.

In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.

If you are traveling with two small children, decide NOW which one you love more.

I love my Baby…

SOMEONE SHOULD SUE DISNEY FOR MAKING EVERY GIRL BELIEVE THAT THEY HAVE A PRINCE CHARMING

2008-06-26T21:13:00.002+08:00

27 June 2008
Thursday (30 Degree Celsius)
HOT Evening @ 2130 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 小情歌 by 苏打绿
Mood: *Argh*

It could be worse… I am officially down with my second cold of the season. But this time, I took cold relief tablets and now hope for the worst. But of course, cold symptom will only becometh worst before it turn for the better. That is the nature of life.

It could be worse… held my 4th monthly department meeting lightly veiled as sharing session. Basically it is one way, MY WAY. Just told them my expectation for the new month and sharing of feedbacks here and there. They are getting warmer and more cohesive than say 3 months back when I held my first meet. I supposed they wanted the department to be better; more efficient and better management, with clear leadership and direction. So now Bird comes along and provides them the Light. And Bird has done all that in a span of 4 months. Told you I am not only Good, I am GREAT. Fucking Great and people still think I am mediocre. Fuck them and fuck the world. Lovely…

Il pourrait malheureux. Je me demande sois plus mauvais… un accès de et un bonbon mais plus de récemment, pourquoi. J'admets, je suis habituellement mais plus mauvais. Pas PMS-ing peu lambinent la merveille qu'elle est à l'amour d'I pour la faire s'est juste produite. Le mauvais I de façon ou d'autre avec elle, je suis la merveille de trempe et d'irritation pourquoi… Elle est particulièrement n'importe quel défaut, j'a supposé au téléphone de la, sa vie pourquoi. Ya, j'ai. I gentil ayant

Il pourrait être plus mauvais… jusqu'à I que vous dans moi n'êtes pas venu pourriez mais vous rencontrer a fait I… pourquoi faisons nous nous sommes produits pourquoi et pour une raison I et qui rencontré. Pourquoi connu mieux doit causer tellement joyeux… Je vous ai,. Je ne avez attendu pourrais pas supposé tout ma vie… qui serait plus futé ? Je pourrais avoir juste.

C'a pu être la plus Wallow tellement grande …. maintenant plaisanterie plus mauvaise aimerait d'AM comment la vie ont la vie et est tombée dedans ? I avec vous mon amour et douleur… De de mon jamais moi agonie dans…

I am not getting this out alive, I tell you and just so you know… I’m fucked. As usual.

小情歌 by 苏打绿

这是一首简单的小情歌, 唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐, 当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了

这是一首简单的小情歌, 唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合, 当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着

你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒, 我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到, 写下我度秒如年难爱的离骚
就算整个世界被寂寞绑票, 我也不会奔跑
跑不了, 最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡

DUMB ASHLEY.SUSAN.SIMPSONS

2008-06-20T19:33:00.001+08:00

20 June 2008
Friday (30 Degree Celsius)
HOT Evening @ 1930 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 达尔文 by蔡健雅
Mood: *Argh*

Still no inspiration, despite so many stuffs in my weekly life.

Monday – Work, OT, SLEEP and before I knew it, its Tuesday
Tuesday – Work, ROT, SLEEP and then becometh Wednesday
Wednesday – Work, Sweat like a pig, return home, shower, birthday dinner with CY and ROT
Thursday – Work, Shack out, Idle, ROT, go Vivocity, ROT and Sleep
Friday – ROT, ROT and ROT somemore

And Damn, I have been through the longest time without a break… Damn Shack, have to work all the way to next Friday with no rest in between. Oh well, that is a fucking nice way to finish my 200th Blog Entry. And I was expecting some fanfare, fireworks and ya, the works. Should have known my luck, it could be worse… much much worse…

The adventure of Tragic Bob Part II

Tired of dying, Bob un-died and returned to the pub where he had died just a week earlier

“It was dumb to set yourself on fire to impress a woman” he thought
“To impress a woman, one must be indifferent and monitor one’s verbosity”

Thus Bob sat quietly on his bar stool and waited

A woman said Hello
Bob grunted and walked off to the jukebox

Two more ladies followed
Bob selected his songs

Eight more women swooned
Bob went to the men’s room

Fourteen women stood outside the door
Bob walked out and went straight to the pool table

Seventy-one women surrounded the table
Bob put down his cue and went back to his bar stool

Bob silently survey four hundred beautiful women now available to him for the first time in his 30 lonely years

… And felt an acute shortage of breath
…For the surging throngs of beauties had crushed him against the bar

…Bob snapped like a toothpick and died

Sometime I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at my predication… In any case, something is not quite right for bird. Apparently, either he has been over worked (highly unlikely) or he is getting old. I get tired so easily and everything I do seems to make it worst.

Told you liao, shouldn’t have gone jogging. Why waste the efforts when we could all just fucking shut the fuck up and sleep… See, told you I am in control… Now you fucking believe me? Whatever

WHEN DOES A 80k BILL & ME HAVE IN COMMON? WHEN IT IS AN EITHER-OR SITUATION

2008-06-15T17:27:00.003+08:00

15 June 2008
Sunday (34 Degree Celsius)
HOT Evening @ 1730 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 达尔文 by 蔡健雅
Mood: *Look, Listen Bitch*

No inspiration, no time (too busy rotting) and no drive (expended all my sex in one sitting…)

Bear with me

The Adventure of Tragic Bob Part I

Bob went to a pub and met a girl

“Hello” he said “This place is a pretty good pub”

… “Why did the monkey drop off the tree?” he said
“He was dead...”

Desperate and lonely, Bob set fire to his hair

The girl looked at Bob. “That’s a nice trick” she said

“That’s not a trick, I’m really burning”
“Fine, what you lack in charm and good looks, you made it up for effort. I’ll date you next Tuesday”

“I can’t wait that long” Bob said
“Why not?” she said
“Because I’m on fire” Bob said
“Fine” She said “But you can at least let me finish my beer, it’s a good cold beer”

“Of course” Bob said

So the girl took a sip of beer, listened to the juke box and hummed along
… And took a cellphone, call and put on some makeup
…And had another sip of beer and told the bartender that her cousin was in a band
…And cross her leg and uncross her leg and took a cigarette from her purse

“I don’t supposed you have a light?” she said, turning to Bob

Now fully ablaze, Bob sat quietly, thinking of the little league baseball and summers by the lake

The girl look down at her beer, looked over at Bob and looked down at her beer and lit her cigarette

On Bob’s nose

Vaguely aware that his unlimited patience with women had somehow cost him dear, Bob died and was brushed down from his seat by the back of a hand of a man who was big, dumb and trite and handsome.

“Come here often?” asked the girl

Sometime I marvel, often aloud but in non-coherent kind of way, that why of all greatness, majestically or otherwise, would Bird be a bird?

And people wonder why they love me… nevertheless, I love you too. Now have to shut the fuck up and get back to rotting. Does wonders to your heart I tell you…

Fucking wonderful.

I HAVEN’T HAD MY TEA YET, SO DON’T MAKE ME KILL YOU

2008-06-12T21:34:00.002+08:00

12 June 2008
Thursday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2130 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 达尔文 by 蔡健雅
Mood: *Listen Bitch*

It was a slightly longer week. Figuratively speaking…

In any case, work still ok, life still ok, despite the occasional PMS-ing attitude. What else happened? Oh a SYT also sign up for a golf clinic as me. But I decided to drop the idea (the Golf thingy) since it starts like next Monday. Cow, what a waste… No see SYT liao…

I was pretty much PMS-ing the entire week. Don’t blame bird, it’s the Hormones I tell you… Anyway, it has somehow subsided and now, I am slowly but surely regaining my sunshine. And what’s next?

Heard my dad cow-pehing that NO WONDER the series “LOST” is call lost… He watch already also lost (by the plot). Surprisingly, after all the complain, he still catch LOST and Prison Break like every week. I figure he is trying to figure out LOST… eventually I hope…

Oh yes, I nearly blasted my canteen vendor when he served me lunch… He practically shoved all the stuffs on top of my rice. If you know me, I abso-fucking-lutely hate to have my rice tainted by anything and everything. Predictably, I was visibly upset, no, UPSET is an understatement. I was fuming mad. I nearly blurt out the “thank you for spoiling my lunch”… but decided otherwise. He was still fucking chirpy about it and Damn it, if its not for the SYT beside me, I would have given him a good one…

Fucking cheebye… The more I say the more blood I am losing… Here’s a reminder,

NEVER EVER

1. Step on my tail
2. Spoil my lunch
3. Disrupt my plans

I am serious about killing you for those crimes above.

Anyway, quote of the week goes like this

Why is Air so much like SEX?
Because it is not a big deal, really… Until you are not getting any… then you are screwed.

达尔文 by 蔡健雅

我的青春也不是没伤痕, 是明白爱是信仰的延伸
甚么特征人缘还是眼神,也不会预知爱不爱的可能

保持单身, 忍不住又沉沦, 兜着圈子来去有时苦等
人的一生, 感情是旋转门, 转到了最后真心的就不分

有过竞争, 有过牺牲, 被爱筛选过程
学会认真, 学会忠诚, 适者才能生存
懂得永恒, 得要我们, 进化成更好的人

我的青春, 有时还蛮单纯, 相信幸福取决于爱得深
读进化论, 我赞成达尔文, 没实力的就有淘汰的可能

我的替身已换过多少轮, 记忆在旧情人心中变冷
我的一生有几道旋转门, 转到了最后只剩你我没分

SPAY & NEUTER ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS

2008-06-07T11:40:00.006+08:00

7 June 2008
Saturday (28 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Morning @ 1100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 新不了情 by曹格
Mood: *Still Water runs shallow for Bird*

As usual, I am like space beyond common understanding. Which brings me to a point on the recent sacking by the boss of US Millitary. Robert Gates has explicitly sack his Secretary of Air force and Chief of Staff, Air Service. A little on their naming convention and protocol. You see, US Military consist of a Civilian and a Career military chief, hence the “Secretary of something” headed by a civilian and their respective Chief of Staff (Army & Air force), Commandant (Marines & Coast Guard) and Head of Naval Operations (yes, Navy). The naming convention aside, it put in place a symbolic recognition, check & balance system of both civilian and military advices needed to run the Army.

Moving on, Gates apparently decided that after the nuclear fiasco; some nuclear trigger devices wrongly (or rightly) shipped to Taiwan, someone up in the food chain need(s) to be hanged. So conveniently (or Rightly again), he axed the top most bosses of Air force, citing administrative and leadership responsibility for the lapse.

Ah, that brings me to my next point, how about Mat Selamat then?

His name alone can cause National Security Alert, much less a mere nuclear trigger button (give and take your point of view) and yet, no command responsibility was/were cited in the supposedly independent finding. Back to US Air force, the finding was done by their own in-house auditors and they actually have the balls to fault their bosses for inadequate oversight (not amounting to gross negligence though) and yet, each of the chiefs (under duress maybe) took it upon themselves to make sure they are held accountable and hence the boot.

Sadly, this is not the case here. The home secretary is still enjoying his bountiful bonuses while his lower managers are kena tekan for the loss of the criminal. Somemore Mat-oh-boy is no off the cuff criminal, he is the head of a terrorist organization that bend on fucking us left right center for fuck sake. What fucking pissed me off is no top bosses even step in to take command responsibility; such is the state of our leadership. And people wonder why US Military, despite all the wrongs are Right and Just. They have LEADERS with MORAL RESPONSIBILITIES, you can call it Balls for simplicity.

No one came forward never mind, still pin the blame on lower managers. Ok, so Director ISD shouldn’t be blame. Logically speaking, yes that’s true. How can you fuck the syces when his stallions went around siring other mares. Legally, when it comes to accountability, it is the Owner that should be sued for his horses’ fucking around. See the plain oh-so-in-your-face logic?

Bad political move my dear readers. Little wonder too, and I’ll bet my LV Porte Document Voyage bag that WKS would be left out or made to retire in FULL honour in the next GE. He is already a liability for crying out loud, notwithstanding his insincere apologies; from reading out LOUD scripted speech to walking around looking important. If he still remains status quo next election, we are truly fucked.

PM Lee also one kind, as a top Leader in the food chain, surely he must have known the ground sentiment and yet, he decided not to fuck his deputy and took it out on his underlying. Surely, it is within his power and rights to kindly offer words of advise (like Gates to his deputies) to pack up and go. Sadly, this moral leadership is not found anywhere in this region, and we still say we are a democratic society. Well, ok lah, most of the countries here are also so call democratic ones… Just a matter of re-interpretation, justification, re-re-interpretation and of course the whole shebang thingy that’s all… Ah, so blameless already…

Surely in his entire afterthought, PM Lee should have just made a formal statement and while not faulting anyone, accept WKS resignation (yes, that means he actually offer to resign in the first place). It gave credibility to the other side of democracies which isn’t exactly kind towards us and still remains popular. It is not simply WKS should not be held responsible but Dude, this is politics, you cannot blatantly side with your underlying, just because… And besides, people want top bosses to be hanged for the wrongs, even if they are innocent. Because? Because they are the Leader!

Why you think people guillotine Louis XVI? For his leadership and his supposedly brought upon the suffering for the masses… Imagine the masses executing the “descendent of the SUN God”…

Now it is too late to talk about anything. The report is out, blaming everyone but the top bosses. Even when the world was skeptical about the independence of its composition, we have to proof them right by endorsing the “oh-you-are-so-fuck-LITTLE-MEN” report (in Catherine Lim’s words). Moreover, WKS never once hinted he wanted or ought to take the blame, coupled with his award winning performance on reading the script and keeping a poker face throughout the fiasco.

Now you know why we are like apathy towards anything remotely political. And people like the Chee’s and his jinx gang are not helping. My oh my, I might have evidently talk a little bit more cock than allowed. So I shall rest my case here. Cos no matter how much and how deeply you feel about doing out the best for betterment of the society, the government will come in and smack your palm. So serious, how now brown cow?

Today got beer, today drunk… easier on and for the heart.

As per norm, here’s my YouTube post on 新不了情 by 曹格.

Man, this chap is good…

新不了情 by 曹格 (KARAOKE 原版伴奏）

新不了情 by 曹格 (Original Version)

心若倦了泪也干了
这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老
已不见你暮暮与朝朝

这一份情永远难了
愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何死守到老
怎样面对一切我不知道

回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了
为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

I HEART YOU

2008-06-04T21:22:00.002+08:00

4 June 2008
Wednesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 伤心地铁 by李宗盛
Mood: *Still Water runs Deep*

Nothing much to update lately… work has been hard these couple of days but still bearable. You can’t be idling everyday of your life right? Right… Anyway had a new intern. She is ok I supposed, a little on the pleasantly plump side though. But its ok…

Today, yours truly had the pleasure of witnessing my first equine vaginal endometrium. Boy it was a sight to behold. We had KY (yes, THAT KY) and a hollow out 45cm, 5cm Dia. paper tube for the insertion. You should have seen the way the Vet spreading the KY on the surface (to ease entry) and slowly accessing (no pun) the horse, all for the sake of a swab requirement. I know, some of you bugs would be tempted to cowpeh about how awful it is to have a tube inserted into the horse’s vaginal. But apparently, if you have seen a horse’s erected penis, this hollow probe is merely a tickle. And Yes, that means its fucking huge. Imagine for a moment its ball (singular) is bigger than my closed fist (by a huge margin), that should give you an idea of how big and long its penis & balls is/are.

Oh yes, did I mention spray and neuter are the horses’ best friends? Yes, most either don’t live long enough to sire their next generation or have had their little boyhood neutered at an early age. Imagine again, all your life, no sex, EVER. Now that’s painful…

Damn it… I really got nothing much to write these days… HOW man? Looks like I need to post a joke to prolong this agony… so here goes

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work.

On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly ticked now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey the same ugly bitch." The lady was so incensed that she went into the store and said that she will sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

When the lady walked past the store that night the parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?"

The bird said, "You know…"

Even my jokes are lame… So help us…

伤心地铁 by 李宗盛

抛开那盟约和你四目相接
想必你的眼里应该隐瞒著更多的细节

他想必狂野让你对我坚心拒绝
他会陪你过今夜他也许就在这列车的某一节

凭一种啊男人的直觉去承受这份残缺
当缘起和缘灭我们的过去已不能重写
我失去了全部的世界在这伤心的地铁
这么伤心欲绝当列车停止在第五街

冬天的纽约冷的这样直接
像是你的拒绝它千真万确让人心淌血

他令你狂野你们爱得轰轰烈烈
他在等你过今夜我知道他在这列车的某一节

那一夜那心里深深的雪
那男人的直觉那伤心的地铁

FRANKLY MY DEAR, I DON’T GIVE A DAMN…

2008-05-30T00:42:00.005+08:00

30 May 2008
Friday (27 Degree Celsius)
Rainy early Morning @ 0030 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 诱惑的街by梁静茹
Mood: *Peaceful Wind still*

I finally learn to say NO to her.

She text this evening, wanting to chill out, any place. I thought that was odd, since she never ever wants to do anything vaguely alongside with me. After kpo-ing, she said she was sad and needed a drink. Normally, Bird will seize such opportunity and try to be the hero. But alas, Bird has gone pass that stage long ago. Sorry Honey… I ain’t going to belittle myself for you, always at your beck and calls, always that spare tyre in the boot. This time, you have to wallow in self pity alone…Life’s tough, too bad for you… but really…

Finally finished my 3 days Internal Audit course. Tiring but at least Lynn was there. She was the cold cold queen, as usual haha. Went for karaoke session with Elvan and some friends. An ex-colleague was there too, thought she was rather cute. Gave her a lift home and chat up a bit. She’s damn cute, can? So that basically summed up my day

The prospect of spending my life eternity alone does not sound that bad a thing after all.

有了我你应该什么都不缺, 心再野也知道该拒绝, 有什么心结难解竟然让你离不开这一切…

缘难了

情难了

为什么我就是离不开这一切…

DId I mention she's really cute? ah yes ...

诱惑的街 by 梁静茹

这样深的夜下过雨的街, 连星光就要熄灭你赴的是什么样的约
原无意说这些, 只是对你还有感觉, 以为一切残缺, 都能用爱解决

可是我除了爱你, 没有别的凭借, 话由真心, 才说的如此直接
也许是夜色让人不知胆怯

有了我你是否什么都不缺, 心再野也知道该拒绝
有什么心结难解, 竟让你离不开这一切

只是你生在诱惑的街, 只是你生在沉伦的午夜
血里的狂野对真实与幻觉, 已无分别
所以你也无从察觉, 情由何时冷却
你从来不了解, 心痛有多么强烈
不知若要我为爱妥协, 我宁愿它幻灭

抱歉我不能还你的爱

2008-05-27T20:35:00.001+08:00

27 May 2008
Tuesday (28 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Tuesday @ 2030 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 爱错了by张克帆
Mood: *Peaceful Wind*

Today start of a 3 day long course on some ISO audit thingy. It was ok, a little bored but still bearable. The only eye candy was Lynn. Though she is not Y (as in SYT) but she is cute. Always the cold queen look, haha, I like.

Thought of painting the town red on Friday… The only problem now is finding the right kakis for this effort. I always enjoy partying with LK and Han. They are the best, beside the fact that they are my best friends… They are simply awesome. Haha, I’m serious… At our age, people are either busy with procreation or onto parenting proper whereas us are still letting loose. Dang…

Speaking of loose, I gave up on my clerks. Tell them to do anything always this cannot, that cannot. Prep talk, motivation, more prep talk, more talk cock sing song session, all buang. Haiz, Give up man. It is ok, I don’t blame them, slowly but surely, they are going to learn to do it my way. Yup, it is my way or the highway baby…

Since we are on the baby topic, that is why also the town will be in red… Haha, ok, fine, I will be nice…

Oh Yelin has given birth to a cute baby boy and now in confinement period. Aww, hope to see her soon. Gosh, it has been like 2 ½ years since she, lele and me took a proper picture haha…

As you can also see… my blog (risk dying a youthful death) is getting from dreary to suicidal boring. The only reason I can think is… lack of inspiration. Remember, I am at my most eloquent and涛涛江水远远不绝 stage only when I am in despair, pain and out of love. So there you go… I am at peace with myself now. Maybe, just maybe I might find some funny bone or issues dear to me to blog on. Till then, have fun and make do with my boring-er post as day goes by.

爱错了by 张克帆

你的泪水浣涎的流
没有一丝挣扎也不做任何反驳
是我猜中你的心思说中你的心事纠葛难舍
事到如今谁爱谁多不由分说

全怪我自己太洒脱
以为爱能够填补你心中伤口
当我给的愈来愈多,你却显得退缩仓惶失措
才发现你的泪全不是为我

但付出的是感情怎能回收
爱都爱了又当如何
怎么能让心不痛面对着你依然故我
爱与不爱的失落放在胸口

但感情的事怎么权衡轻重
错都错了又当如何
爱个人爱到忘我咎由自取身陷其中
男人啊也会软弱只是不说

EARLY IN THE MORNING, I PUT BREAKFAST AT YOUR TABLE

2008-05-25T14:53:00.004+08:00

25 May 2008
Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
Lazy Afternoon @ 1430 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Superwoman by 曹格
Mood: *Sky & Wind*

You are my superwoman… Always will be

Clarity Version

Karaoke Version

Superwoman by 曹格

Early in the morning, I put breakfast at your table
一夜都没睡但我不曾如此清醒
我早餐准备了你爱吃的东西
这次换我等你被咖啡的香味叫醒

想要找回每天早晨, 对我微笑著的你
还能够做些什麼代替我的歉意
总是望著我, 小心翼翼顺著我呼吸
而我竟然理所当然, 让你精疲力尽

You are my superwoman
安静的在身边, 无条件给我, 梦寐以求的温柔
But I am only human
我怎麼不懂你多寂寞残忍的犯了错
不能失去你 Ooh, Babe…

You fought your way through the rush hour, try to make it home just for me
月光下静静靠著彼此, 只求夜长一点
有多久没有好好看你, 只是认定了我
无论在什麼时候回头, 都有你的笑容

是我忽略了你也会有, 想要哭的感觉
没有一种付出应该永远心甘情愿
再给被宠坏的男人最後一次机会
换我忍耐换我等待, 不要真的弃权

You are my superwoman
安静的在身边, 无条件给我, 梦寐以求的温柔
But I am only human
我怎麼不懂你多寂寞残忍的犯了错
不能失去你 Ooh, Babe..
是我把爱想得太简单
以为只要我存在就能让你取暖
心裏唯一的superwoman没有人能代替
不能想像更不能原谅这样让爱化成, 灰烬

If you feel it in your heart and you understand me.
STOP right where you are, everybody sing along with me.
You are my superwoman

YOU CAN’T BUY HAPPINESS BUT YOU CAN BUY SEX AND THAT’S CLOSE ENOUGH

2008-05-23T08:43:00.002+08:00

23 May 2008
Friday (33 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 0830 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 记得 By 张惠妹
Mood: *Sky & Wind*

Nothing much to update; life, as the saying goes, it is still ok… To the point of blatantly melancholy…

Ok, too drama…Lets’ talk about the weather then… It is … hot…Not as hot as I am though…

Moving on, my work is pretty ok I supposed, some heart stress here and there, but still bearable. Pretty lobo these days too, had long lunches, long teabreaks, skive around, drive here and there, and meet up with people for nothing. Whenever I am free like now, my colleagues sure will hate me guts, because… I will come up with new KPI (key performance indices) and review their job scope.

Last month review nearly singlehandedly caused mass hysteria to my department. They rebelled and picket fenced like nobody business but still, with disgustingly sweet Charms, scandalously naughty wits and a wholesome dose of diplomatic maneuvering, I managed to outwit, outlast and outmaneuver them into submission… Sort of…

Damn, Monday another review meeting. I don’t particularly hate all 7 of them, only say, 1 or the most 2 buggers deserve whacking. The rest are pretty nice, just wish they got more initiative (aka Automatic) a bit. But hey, I can’t have the best of all worlds, so how? Life still goes on…

Oh yes, yesterday drove to SGH for some medical stuffs. In all, it took me 2½ hours and guess what? I fucking enjoyed every minute of it. Don’t know why everyone thinks it’s a great sacrifice on my part. I mean, it is 2 solid hours of tuan-ing and lobo period man…. Its even better than strike toto… Figuratively speaking. Oh well, what they don’t know (my enjoyment) doesn’t kill (their awestruck).

Was telling CY my lack of updates of late… Because everything is going ok what, where got the inspiration to write those damn sad until can lao bak sai kind of entries? Oh well, I shall leave you with a song. Till we meet again, again and again, have fun boys & girls.

记得 By 张惠妹

谁还记得, 是谁先说永远的爱我
以前的一句话, 是我们以后的伤口
过了太久, 没人记得当初那些温柔
我和你手牵手, 说要一起走到最后

我们都忘了, 这条路走了多久
心中是清楚的, 有一天有一天都会停的
让时间说真话, 虽然我也害怕
在天黑了以后, 我们都不知道会不会有以后

我们都累了, 却没办法往回走
两颗心都迷惑, 怎么说怎么说都没有救
亲爱的为什么, 也许你也不懂
两个相爱的人, 等对方先说找分开的理由

谁还记得爱情开始变化的时候
我和你的眼中, 看见了不同的天空
走的太远, 终于走到分岔路的路口
是不是你和我, 要有两个相反的梦

我和你手牵手, 说要一起走到最后

爱怎能解释你我就到此为止?

2008-05-18T10:58:00.005+08:00

18 May 2008
Sunday (33 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 1100 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 跟你借的幸福 by蔡健雅
Mood: *Blue blue sky*

Let’s do this the chronological way… Starting with Wednesday, for obvious reasons…

Wednesday: Wake up, Shower, Work, Come home and sleep

Thursday: Wake up, Shower, Work, Meet Kian Kian, she did her Lasik, Went to St James, meet working colleagues and return home and sleep

Friday: Wake up, Blah Blah Blah, took half day, met Kwek, shopping around Orchard, end with a late night movie with the Kweks’ at Sun Plaza. And yes, the fucking cab fare cost me 24 bucks.

Saturday: Wake up, do laundry, drink tea, rot, had lunch, rot, drink tea, rot, smoke, Pick Brother, come home, sleep

Well well well… Ain’t my week fucking fun…

You have to understand, if is not my problem, then don’t bother to tell me. Really, what can I do? Particularly I am one of those people whom are adverse (terribly) to anything except my problem. Bravo! So how? Run along now, be nice. Oh in between those waiting time for Mrs Kwek, I kind of included some obscenities into my Sunshine song… here it goes…

You are my fucking sunshine
My only fucking sunshine
You made me fucking happy
When times are fucking bad
You never fucking know
How much I fucking love you
So don’t fucking take my fucking sunshine away

Just so you know, and I’m not kidding you… Seriously, what did I do…

跟你借的幸福 by 蔡健雅

公园的椅子零乱的影子, 还给你你家的钥匙
不想听解释爱怎能解释, 你我就到此为止

时间的杯子满满的心事, 爱一点一滴的流失
就算我固执就算你坚持, 这份爱也难挽回颓势

昨天跟你借的幸福, 抱歉我有不能还你的苦
看着爱在手心留的纹路, 依旧是清清楚楚

昨天跟你借的幸福, 是今天以后的回顾
说忘记只是掩人耳目, 我在人潮中渐渐失速
哗笑的夜色, 我们的故事关上了门
我的心我的耳朵只听见下雨声

IT IS BETTER TO LOVE AND LOST THAN TO LIVE WITH A PSYCHO THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

2008-05-13T20:25:00.004+08:00

13 May 2008
Tuesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 忐忑 by 辛晓琪
Mood: *Wintersweet, Me like*

Sure I have my fair share of hits and misses (statistically skew to the later) and oh boy, Did I miss by more than a mile. Sure they are (mostly) nice girls and some not so very nice, but they are cute… that’s all that matters. While walking home and by passing this coffee shop, I had a sudden revelation (ya, these days a lot of sighting).

I was looking at the coffee shop beer drinkers and by a large margin, most are the blue collar type, which is fine and very stereotypical but why are they with significantly prettier counterparts (discounting the taste, dressing and the fact that they are together). I am not a sour grape lah, I mean…after living a couple of decades on planet earth, I can safely eliminate some of the variables that enables me to be alone … like for instance

1. I am not fugly. Seriously, which part of me says I am fugly?
2. I am relatively fit. Enough said
3. I am comfortably earning a relatively decent salary and a modestly prospect-filled job.
4. I am intellectually-enabled kind of guy (as opposed to being challenged)

So why I am desperately lonely (to quote)…?

That brings us to point number two

Tacking onto my current status, by whatever virtue, I should never been alone… Which means the whole shebang doesn’t quite qualify my loneliness assessment… The best part is, I am not fugly. Yes, What the fuck right! Not as if I am poor, low education, poor job prospect or fucking ugly… but really…

I could technically do a self praising blog, with every “TOM has a DICK but not all dicks are HARRY (hairy)” kind of stuffs, all in the name of self glorification. But hey, you know what self admiration would lead to… cos self praising is like masturbation. You feel good initially but in the end, you are just fucking yourself. Damn it…

The only lining in the sky? Yun asked for my buggy.

As I am out of my private one, You should have seen the number of calls I made, how many favors I call in, just so she can ride in comfort… And in the end, all I get is a lousy coffee, which I so happen to abso-fucking-lutely don’t drink like ever… Sometime it just goes to cheapen my already cheapened Life. Oh well, Fuck it… Today got beer, today drunk. But really… How the fuck can these sorts of things ever happened… B.E.A.Utiful

忐忑 by 辛晓琪

我已经忘记, 爱情的滋味
我已经忘记, 青春如此的昂贵
以为心思已如止水, 以为孤单早已无谓
却见你意外的在眼前

我试着拒绝, 你给的世界
我试着拒绝 ,会有开始的情节
然而心却和我相背, 爱有它自己的感觉
再一次走回了爱情 ,是怎样的危险

我忐忑的心 ,我忐忑的心 ,起落得不能停
忽而忧, 忽而喜, 对于爱情原来我不曾免疫
我忐忑的心, 我忐忑的心, 辗转的不能眠
忽而醉, 忽而醒, 这样的陌生的自己, 是我熟悉的曾经

DO YOU LOVE ME? COULD YOU LEARN TO LOVE ME? PLEASE?

2008-05-11T20:30:00.004+08:00

11 May 2008
Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 听海By 张惠妹
Mood: *Can you learn to love me? Please*

I’m a little perplexed, maybe with a hint of “Oh this is Just fucking Great”… You see, after a whole week of sms flirting and I am supposed to be meeting her at 3am (after she knocks off) at work and what did I get? She was drunk…Let’s for a moment put the Drunkness aside; and focus on things like we haven’t got any common topic. Which is way beside the point but hey, we are like living on 2 different worlds. She is nice but somehow, there is something about her that I can’t find an easier word for it… Maybe it is social gap… maybe it is something else but it doesn’t matter… I can live without such burden.

Why troubled the already troubled heart?

Another smoking session (on my part). I drove 20km down south to Labrador park and all I get is a lousy T-shirt… haha… cannot always go Jurong hill… Must change location sometime…

Just so we are on a lighter mood to welcome another week of work…

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you are faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of work. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says ‘nothing's wrong,’ and how I can make her truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Simply adore this song…

听海 By 曹格

听海 By 张惠妹

写信告诉我今天海是什么颜色, 夜夜陪着你的海心情又如何
灰色是不想说蓝色是忧郁, 而漂泊的你狂浪的心停在哪里

写信告诉我今夜你想要梦什么, 梦里外的我是否都让你无从选择
我揪着一颗心整夜都闭不了眼睛, 为何你明明动了情却又不靠近

听海哭的声音, 叹息着谁又被伤了心却还不清醒
一定不是我至少我很冷静, 可是泪水就连泪水也都不相信

你听海哭的声音, 这片海未免也太多情悲泣到天明
写封信给我就当最后约定, 说你在离开我的时候是怎样的心情

I’M GLAD YOU REALISE HOW TERRIBLE LIFE IS WITHOUT ME… SERIOUSLY

2008-05-09T20:33:00.002+08:00

9 May 2008
Friday (32 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Various Song by 鴨子 (徐宛鈴)
Mood: *I’m so fucking happy… Now get lost*

Somebody fucked it up and I have to carry the burden. Being a good bird, I do what I do best; solving problems, running around like monkeys and calling in favors. I could claim personal credit for it, but no thanks. Still I cannot resist sending out another email to my clerks; telling them better buck up, my patience has its limit too. If they feel otherwise, the exit door is always open. I cannot be solving screw up every other day… right? But it was an idle day and I fricking loved my day.

Oh, I realized that I need to attend one gala dinner next Friday, and guess what, my suit barely fits me… I could technically go for the other two but no, prefer this one, for sentimental reasons… And guess what again, I need to dry cleaned it somemore. It is like 8 months ago when I last wore it… damn. Come and think of it, my long sleeves shirts are also falling apart, after been in the cupboard for a good 8 months too. Damn it, for these past months, I have neither wore my long sleeves shirts nor suits. Argh, then again, give me short sleeves and pants any day. But it is such a waste… really

Was also looking at lovebyte’s personnel site where anyone can post their picture and say whatever they want; usually limited to what hobbies and who can date them (ya, those sort of things). After scanning through the entire database, I have derived 2 outside standing conclusions;

Someone really need to pass them a mirror and a reality check; Men must be this, must have that, if not, no honey. Given, if they are sweet, young and pretty, male of my species might try humoring you a bit but not when you are like 35 going on to 45 … Oh Come on! Still living in fantasy land never mind, trying to bring fantasy to real life, now that’s disturbing…

Next… if those are my only choices left… I’m fucked…

Ok lah, not everyone lived in fantasy, some are pretty nice too. At least that’s what the claim to be…Oh well… either way, I’m fucked. How could that be?

Just before I go, I thought I heard this at some sermon at CHC long time back. At that time, the pastor say unlike damn solid like that, “Get Behind me Satan!” Wow, for that moment, I thought he look damn steady until I saw this joke… Sometime, keeping mouth shut is a much better choice…

Struggling to make ends meet on a first-call salary, the pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought."How could you do this?!"

"I was outside the store looking at the dress in the window, and then I found myself trying it on," she explained. "It was like Satan was whispering in my ear, 'You look fabulous in that dress. Buy it!'"

"Well," the pastor replied, "You know how I deal with that kind of temptation. I say, 'Get behind me, Satan!'""I did," replied his wife, "but then he said,

'It looks fabulous from back here, too!'"

Oh yes, 徐宛鈴, Me love you so, haha. She damn cute and pretty… Wooah, I like!

可惜不是妳 by 鴨子 (徐宛鈴)

你的甜蜜 by 鴨子 (徐宛鈴)

遇上愛 by 鴨子 (徐宛鈴)

I’M SO FUCKING GLAD I REALISE HOW BEAUTIFUL LIFE IS WITHOUT YOU… SERIOUSLY

2008-05-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

6 May 2008
Tuesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2150 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 知道By 张惠妹
Mood: *I’m so fucking Glad*

At times I wonder, the entire fricking system at work is in place already, it is not like the department just set up yesterday, why the fuck I am still running around like monkey? Tiger don’t roar you think he sick cat is it? Damn it, I should have kicked the butt when I had the chance… Wait a min… But I am the CHIEF!! Never mind, I will remember this during annual appraisal. But then they will cry… and complain I bad Bird, Keep pushing them to their extreme… Argh… Why ME!! WHY ME!!

Anyway, as usual, it is up to Bird to solve all cheebye problem. Lucky I still managed to pull this one off and in the process, made Bird seems like superman. BUT I AM SUPERMAN !! AND THE FRICKING DEPARTMENT NEEDS ME!!! Self praising feels so damn good man…

Just so you know… I do not have the slightest interest to share any stuffs with people whom have no stake or concern in it, like the content of the SMS for instance. So don’t be a busybody. It has not happened before, and it would not be in near future. Let it go, better for your heart.

Neither I am inclined to be threatened, abused and even tantrum-ised into submission. I don’t, seriously. You people should have known that by now. We have been through this many times and beside, I am not in the mood to humor people whom I have no interest or having personal gains from it. So, if you still want to be that little prima donna, go ahead and be one, it is after all a free country. But just stay damn far away from me.

You just don’t get it, do you? I HAVE told you many times already; Having a Bad day/week/life does not give you the green light to be nasty to me, grow up kiddo, WE ARE OVER! MOVE ON ALREADY! COME ON! NO one knows how much nonsense you have thrown at me; daily/hourly… And people still think I had it easy in the relationship…

*Censored* And to think one of my friends actually believes and sided with you! And reckoned that it is all my fault that you are like that, right? Oh great… HOW FUCKING NICE, YA…

知道 By 张惠妹

既然都知道既然睡不著, 不如就把黑夜熬成破晓
我为自己骄傲我终于可以, 不靠感情这样过来了
想你是很好但我的心在退烧

逃假装是在寻找, 我明明就不需要
人的心若是关不牢, 爱到不知如何是好
你能给多少突然我就是不想要

逃从天涯到海角, 烧泪早就不知不觉烧乾了
你爱的谁都看得到, 可是我就很不想要
所以我这样放开了

怎么我会错乱了心跳, 是什么让我不堪其扰 oh~
既然都知道爱过了就好

逃从天涯到海角, 烧泪早就不知不觉烧乾了
你爱的谁都看得到, 一厢情愿让我依靠
却不曾问我要不要

DUDE! FUCK, IS THAT YOU?

2008-05-03T22:33:00.002+08:00

3 May 2008
Saturday (31 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2210 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 趁早By 张惠妹
Mood: *Oh Bugger*

Friday wasn’t my day, really… I practically fucked and got fucked by anything and everything. Oh well, was particularly nasty to my aunties’ clerks when I held my status report meeting. Everything also they have reasons and everything also conveniently become my problem. Though I apologize later but still, I shouldn’t have lost my temper… I should have personally kick a few of their butts…

Anyway, came home after covering some race duties and was pretty much shack out. Had dinner and went for a light drinks at Water Cross with Mark and Kian kian. Send Kian Kian home, and with damn solid luck hallowing around me, I encountered a Police road block just before I turn off to the highway… They ask and I answered honestly. I did drink, except that I said 1 instead of 2 glasses of beer, muahaha… So, procedurally, they request for a breath analyzer test.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at my honesty sometime. Especially when it is like a 50-50 chance of passing the breath analyzer since I drank more than the legal benchmark. I figure honesty at times like this is the safest bet out… Imagine this; 2 guys, dressed like coming back from clubbing, and still say no drink, who the fuck will believe…? So I admit to partial guilt. Whatever they didn’t know, wouldn’t kill anyone. Well, not yet.

So I joke with the duty police, talk cock a bit and breathe through the tube like I never breathe before like that… Heng ah, I passed. Well, that’s an experience. Mark suggests buying 4D but alas, never strikes today. Never mind, still got tomorrow… Blue Skies, dudes, Blue Skies!

Had a long karaoke session with Wenn today, after like 4 hours of sleep. We walked around, had coffee break and later dinner (for her). Had also some encounter with Happy People but hey, that’s life. For her effort for being on time for karaoke, Bravo! Usually, I think and always have this impression she will be late. Haha

Break off for my second round with family dinner at Conrad’s Oscar Oscar. The counter staffs are superb; polite, courteous, friendly and very chatty. But by fuck luck, it follows that there will definitely be cock up somewhere somehow… Whole family had miscom and I had to postponed the dinner. I was a little upset cos I took a cab (not wanting to be late) to Conrad and no one calls in to highlight the miscom. If I had decided to wait for them in the restaurant, I will be like 80 bucks poorer and angrier. Oh well… it was a pity, cos the counter staff is/was rather pretty. Haha

Now must retire for the night, it is late and Bird is tired… Good Night my beloved Bird, Sweet Dreams!

趁早 By 张惠妹

到后来才发现爱你是一种习惯, 我学会和你说一样的谎
你总是要我在你身旁, 说幸福该是什么模样
你给我的天堂, 其实是一片荒凉

要是我早可以和你一刀两断, 我们就不必在爱里勉强
可是我真的不够勇敢, 总为你忐忑为你心软
毕竟相爱一场, 不要谁心里带着伤

我可以永远笑着, 扮演你的配角, 在你的背后自己煎熬
如果你不想要, 想退出要趁早, 我没有非要一起到老

我可以不问感觉, 继续为爱讨好, 冷眼的看着你的骄傲
若有情太难了, 想别恋要趁早
就算迷恋你的拥抱, 忘了就好

SMILE, SOMEONE LOVES YOU =)

2008-05-01T08:23:00.002+08:00

1 May 2008
Thursday (28 Degree Celsius)
Morning @ 0810 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我无所谓By 张惠妹
Mood: *its Holiday for fuck sake*

Yes, smile you fricking bunch of Cheese pies! But I digress… its fricking holiday can? give it a break? Well, NOT, in a million chance. That’s me, you low life fuckers! Muahaha… And Yes, NO one loves you and awww, fucking live with it. That reminds me…

Yup, its fricking holiday and what did I do? I woke up at 6am (the usual work timing) and made myself a good cup of sweeten milk tea. Then do what? I did the laundry… woah, how exciting bird! Never mind that last night I slept at 11pm. SO working day life style… Damn it!

It is a holiday nevertheless… so what’s in for me today? *brain freeze* ok, I’ll just rot at home as usual. No, I don’t condone such rotting-ness but hey, between the devil and the deep blue sea, this option looks more sweet nectar life rejuvenating Coke than anything vaguely close.

I could technically do sex but Sex is NOT the answer. Sex IS the question, YES is the Answer!

Moving on, met Yun during the learning day thingy. She is cute as usual and yes, she is still that sweetie pie-ing. Oh well…

How now brown cow? Speaking of cow, I suddenly had a realization that if I am hiam-ing other girls, they might be doing likewise to me… Haha, aww, such revelation but I supposed that’s life. Anyway, to prolong this entry, I present to you, a JOKE

The Police, The CID, and ISD are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. WKS decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into Mandai and each of them has to catch it.

The Police goes in. They place animal informants thru’out the forest. They question all plant and witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The CID goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The ISD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

我无所谓 By 张惠妹

天天都有落叶, 特别是今夜
当沙沙的风吹, 每一片叶, 掉一滴泪

夜夜有人心碎, 他们相信谁
当爱被结约, 作何感觉

莫非无忧也无悔, 依旧痴痴收藏落叶
傻的心, 傻到哭也流不出泪

我无所谓, 我冷若冰, 淡若水
我不为梦留一点空, 侵略我禁闭心扉
当感情是唯一解不开的结, 而人爱听谁伤了谁
我愿是风中飘然惊落的叶

我无所谓, 我伤过心, 掉过泪
我只在乎爱本无罪, 何苦要陷入重围
当世界被感情蒙上一层灰
而我宁愿是最后的落叶

MY OH MY, THOSE BOOBS LOOK HEAVY, MAY I HOLD THEM FOR YOU?

2008-04-28T22:13:00.005+08:00

28 April 2008
Monday (32 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2210 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我要快乐By 张惠妹
Mood: *Still Floating…*

Speaking of coincidence…

I was waiting for Mark to go home together (now that I mentioned it, it does sound kind of gay…Damn) and he was bloody late for the longest time… reach MRT and actually allowed one train to go by, Just SO we can catch the next emptier one… Decided also to walk to the other end of the train station, Just SO it is less congested…

Then saw you...

For a moment, I nearly wanted to pull a fast one and walk off but alas, Bird is weak, Bird is nice, make that Bird is super nice so I gestured a friendly wave. We chat for a while, the usual pleasantries and move along. On hindsight, I could have stayed on and chat for the rest of the journey but alas, to what point...

Oh yes, since we are on the topic of moving on, I have decided and consciously made a choice to sign up for SDU. Yup, after much persuasion from Mark and hearing how interesting it is with Seow, (both buggers haha…), I am giving it a try. Hey, I have not lost any hope in womenfolk’s, so don’t write me off just yet.

Oh well, while I’m at it, I have also added twitter in my blog. Woohoo, check it out… I am so going to update every fuck thing I can conjure up at the spur of the moment… haha. That is of course I don’t died from heartbroken-ness. You see, as much as we allow ourselves to believe, life is never fair. Whatever that supposed to mean… so my dearest friends and fellow dwellers on earth, make hay while the sun still fucking shine… You should know it better, it ain’t going to last.

So how now? That is why I smoke… Better for sanity…

我要快乐By 张惠妹

又被爱伤了一遍, 无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人, 烟还点着味道却淡了

我并不是天生爱寂寞, 却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我, 我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖, 离开了才不恨我早应该割舍

我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的, 只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍, 谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人, 每种雨声听了都不冷

我并不是天生爱寂寞, 却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我, 我还是一无所有

每天早晨对我微笑著的你

2008-04-27T20:26:00.003+08:00

27 April 2008
Sunday (34 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 新不了情 by 万芳
Mood: *Floating in and around*

Today finally made it to Sunrise Event. Didn’t sleep too well last night though, only managed (at best) a 2 hours dozing (hardly) time. To make matter worst, I kept dreaming I was late for the sunrise event and all the unnecessary obstacles. Oh well, 3am alarm rang, off to shower, grabbed the car and all the way to Kweky’s place. Lucky he was on time… Went to a very early breakfast at 4.30am and by the time we finished, it haven’t even near 5am. Decided to go West Coast Macdonald for Tea and Coffee fix, idle here and there and reach Mount Faber at 6.15am.

Did I mention 2 geniuses against all odds and conventions, discard all fucking logic and actually embark on a dead end trip to watch Sunrise on the southern tip of Singapore? And at the southern side of Mt Faber somemore… Brilliant eh? Ok, so the First Ray sort of came by at 6.30am. But alas, all the wonders of Mother Nature were blocked by fricking big trees in and around the viewing platform. Double whammy but hey, that’s life. We managed to grab some photos though (which will be posted in time to come or when Kweky feels like sending them over to me, whichever is earlier) while I am enjoying a good smoke break. I love smoking in the morning, but that’s another story…

I always love a good old morning time; it is like a new beginning, a new start to everything. I am by nature not an optimistic creature but hey, every bird has its day, ya? Err, anyway, I still love morning, despite every fuck things that has somehow found their association with it (like my Ex. GF departure long long time ago). Still, life goes on. Indeed, pleasures are abundance for those who treasure that very moment in time. Somehow, bullshitting with my eyes wide open never felt this good. Damn it…

Went to my afternoon run again, to de-stress; wasting all my energy away, numbing my pain in the process. It was a ridiculously hot day this afternoon, I nearly died cock standing but alas, it was never meant to be that way. So I survive, live for another day just so that I could have that long shot at meeting you. I feel so alive, knowing that I can see you again tomorrow and the day after, for as long as it could be. But to what purpose… When you are not even real...

Still, I hope to see you in my dreams, even for that briefest moment, it is a life worth living for… Even if there is no one in it...

新不了情 by 万芳

心若倦了泪也干了, 这份深情难舍难了
曾经拥有天荒地老, 已不见你暮暮与朝朝

这一份情永远难了, 愿来生还能再度拥抱
爱一个人如何死守到老, 怎样面对一切我不知道

回忆过去痛苦的相思忘不了, 为何你还来拨动我心跳
爱你怎么能了今夜的你应该明了
缘难了情难了

I WISH THIS DAY COULD HAVE LASTED LONGER… BUT NO… FOR MY SAKE, NO…

2008-04-26T20:24:00.005+08:00

26 April 2008
Saturday (30 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 他没有错 by 范玮琪
Mood: *Nothingness is but a Feeling*

I don’t wish last night could have last any longer than it needed to. Maybe just for the time we were actually chatting but no, it has to stop. I have to stop, for posterity.

Ok, that’s a lame excuse to show how pathetically affected I am. Actually it was a no brainer; I didn’t even start anything, why would I be sad? The things I do to mask my sadness… But then, Kian Kian has a point; Who cares, Just Do it. That is why also, she and me are best of friends muahaha.

Speaking of which, it has been ages since I last partied. Hmm, this Friday looks good with Kian Kian back from her flight but Han will be… OUT for holidays!! Argh! How fun can it be without 2 of my best friends!! Just feel like wasting my life away, easier for the heart too.

So beside those heart wrenching moments this week, what’s been up, man?

Same work, different day. Last Thursday one of my admin assistant created a minor stir when she turns up to work in this mini skirt. Ok, I wasn’t at all affected cos she is like 5 years my senior and besides, she is already a mother of 3. Mostly because for some weird wiring in my head, I am not attracted to her AT ALL. I’m serious!

I mean I do like anything that moves but now… Anyway, she was like the topic of discussion that day. Oh well… I can’t stop them from wearing anything and besides, I can’t be bothered. As long as it doesn’t affect my department performance, you can literally do anything you want.

That is the nature of things. If not, it is the usual sleep, work, smoke, drink, get drunk, romp and the cycle continues for as long as I can remember.

Oh yes, tomorrow again planning to go to Sunrise event with Kweky. Wish us luck, Blue Skies!

他没有错 by 范玮琪

就这样放了彼此的手, 究竟是尽头还是个出口
只是我还记得, 她每一次抚摸
只是我还熟悉, 她每一个轮廓

不知道从此要难过多久, 我相信一定和孤独一样久
原来天长地久是形容一种痛这样的有始有终
换来怎样的海阔天空

她没有错, 只是没有爱我很久
她没有错, 是我飞蛾扑火
我求一个经过不妄想一个结果, 她没有错
她没有错, 只是没有为我停留
她没有错, 是爱的不是时候
她没有错, 只是没有陪我到最后

爱都爱了

2008-04-26T01:07:00.004+08:00

26 April 2008
Saturday (27 Degree Celsius)
Damn Early In the Morning @ 0110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: I know I love you by Savage Garden
Mood: *Nothingness is also a Feeling*

Life is tough... too bad for me

I know I love you by Savage Garden

Maybe it's intuition
But some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than
A little crazy but I believe

I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I found my way home
I know that it might sound more than
A little crazy but I believe

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I found you

A MAN NEEDS LOVE, IF NO LOVE, GIVE HIM HOPE, IF NO HOPE, THEN AT LEAST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO DO

2008-04-24T20:36:00.001+08:00

24 April 2008
Thursday (26 Degree Celsius)
Night @ 2110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 走在红毯那一天 by 彭佳慧
Mood: *The Pain of Nothingness*

又被伤了一遍 , 无所谓当作成长吧

Yes, it is those kind of feelings that besieged me now…

I am just tired. Fucking tired…

Having to start all over again and having to go through all the shit over again… it is like a fucking pest, and it just wouldn't DIE… It JUST WOULDN'T FUCKING DIE!!

I am fucking tired, I couldn't care any less… Just want to live and die in peace, which might encompass loneliness and being abandoned. But of course…

Tonight, I just want to get drunk, smoke like a chimney, fuck around and sleep… tomorrow will be another fucking day… No one will ever miss my presence, would they?

于是我们照亮了沉默, 习惯了孤单, 才发现爱原来是寂寞™

我们之间的事 by 范玮琪

我们说著报纸上的事，我们说著邻居发生的瑣碎的事
Oh…从来不说，从来就不说，从不说我们之间的事

我们说著朋友们的事，我们说著電视里说的发生的事
Oh…从来不说，从来就不说，从不说我们之间的事

在多数的日子，我们都不够懂事，彷彿爱是挥霍不完的数字
应该天真的日子，我们又太过懂事
Oh…在离別时，在离別时才看见我们该留住的故事

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING KILL YOU

2008-04-22T21:26:00.001+08:00

22 April 2008
Tuesday (30 Degree Celsius)
Evening @ 2110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Mood: *ARGGGHHH …*

I waited and waited and still there is no end in sight

I hated this fucking waiting time, it seems like bad dreams, kept repeating itself over and over again. Why do I subject myself to such a torture? Why DID I even fucking try!!

Wouldn't it better if everything just stays status quo
What is so wrong with being alone...?
What is so wrong?

I tell you what is wrong! My HEART! MY LONELY FUCKING HEART

I have said this many times; I will do anything, ANYTHING to make damn sure my heart is not lonely... AT the expense of whoever is near me...

You can call me a bastard, a jerk, anything you want. But when My heart, my fucking heart is happy, even for that mere minutes, mere seconds, I am HAPPY and that is ALL that matters... Who cares about hurting others... I don't, do you?

I like this falling in love thingy
It's like adrenaline; the pain is such a sudden rush for me
You don't know what it was like for people like me living my life, do you?

ALL I wanted is a stupid email from you
ALL I EVER wanted is a reply from you

My tea's gone cold I wonder why I..
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
It's not so bad..

I just want to fucking kill you

But of course, you never will know, would you?

That is the nature of things…

SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY… SOMETIME SAME DAY TOO

2008-04-20T18:22:00.003+08:00

20 April 2008
Sunday (29 Degree Celsius)
Hot Evening @ 1810 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson
Mood: *duh …*

Had some trouble sleeping these days. Don’t know why… Maybe fuck around too much… Maybe NOT fucking around, whatever it is, I can’t really sleep well. Oh fuck

I noticed I haven’t been updating since like a week ago but hey, I was a little busy. Tsk tsk, that’s life. Anyway, what’s been up man, how’s life?

See, the effect of Insomnia is eating into my sanity and concentration. Can’t really focus on anything. Ok, that’s all folks

Have fun and be safe

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could breakaway

I spread my wings and I learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on an airplane, far away (I will pray)
And breakaway

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, SERIOUSLY

2008-04-15T21:44:00.005+08:00

15 April 2008
Tuesday (29 Degree Celsius)
Cool Night @ 2110 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 世界唯一的你 by 曹格
Mood: *Its Horsie, oh cow…*

Really, the things some cheebye do, really damn Cheebye (see, it rhythms). Of course, that does not encompass fucktard, cos if that’s the case, write until the cow procreate turn to oil also still writing.

First stop, today broke record, I actually fucked 2 humans! One is my colleague. You see, I told him to do something really fucking urgent. He took his own sweet time never mind, still gave me the blur fuck look when I tell him what to do. Somemore still dare to tell me (of the list I gave him) that this one not he do, that one he never do it before… Nabei, you tell me, kena fuck is his fault totally, right?

Then when I was running around monkeying (these days things just come so suddenly), I was questioned by one computer technician. I don’t take questioning very well and he still trying to be kuai lan with me… Nabei, kena another fucking session, jialat jialat. Told him; beg, steal, rob or borrow I don’t care, when I say I want a printer, he better fucking give me one before the day ends.

Tell them all not to bother me when I am monkeying around they thought I tell jokes, make them laugh and all jolly are well. Now whole office just shut the fuck up and quietly does their work. Happy lah, witness 2 people kena fuck today.

Then come cheebye Ex-company. Apparently they gave the wrong return to IRAS and IRAS happily starts deducting from my bank account all the income taxes owed to them. What fucking pissed me off (beside wrong input from Cheebye Company) is that no wonder all Singaporean need to have local bank account for salary payment. So that all you fucking losers’ salaries can be track and if need be, deducted without your authorization and consent. IRAS just deduct my money monthly and I didn’t even keep track of it. Suddenly today got the GST package letter and guess what, they gave me none! NO MONEY! Cos they say I earn more than 100K a year…100k a year!!! Not 10k or 1k, 100K!!! so IRAS reasoned that why the FUCK would I need a couple of hundreds?

Tell me, you cheebye IRAS, if I earn 100k a year, what the fuck am I doing slogging my guts off at work? I might as well live it up and paint the town red every night!!

Oh well, let’s see how to solve the mess that some fuckers have left for me. Meanwhile, I can only drink to drown my sorrow… I wish, I wish… in my lifetime, I could perhaps have the opportunity to sing世界唯一的你 to the love of my life… Just Once… but alas… it is but a dream. For now, I just have to live the day as it is; keeping up my lungs burning and drowning my liver.

Don’t you wish to fall in love too? Don’t you want to be loved? Don’t you?

问 by 梁静茹

谁让你心动, 谁让你心痛
谁会让你偶尔想要拥他在怀中

谁又在乎你的梦, 谁说你的心思他会懂
谁为你感动

如果女人总是等到夜深
无悔付出青春, 他就会对你真

是否女人永远不要多问
他最好永远天真, 为她所爱的人

只是女人容易一往情深
总是为情所困, 终于越陷越深

可是女人爱是她的灵魂
她可以奉献一生, 为她所爱的人

世界唯一的你

2008-04-13T21:53:00.003+08:00

13 April 2008
Sunday (30 Degree Celsius)
Cloudy Night @ 2210 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 世界唯一的你 by 曹格
Mood: *Its Horsie, who else*

Well, I did not proceed to the sun rise event. I did however wake up at 4am when the alarm goes off. I went for toilet, pee-ed and took a smoke break while enjoying the early morning air. After like 10 min, I decided to sleep in. For obvious reasons…

One, I don’t have camera to capture that Kodak moment, then I don’t really have that Kodak moment to catch (catch with who? My cigarettes?). Lastly, morning run at 8am seems like a more sensible idea, albeit less excitement. Oh well…

Wouldn’t it be nice sometime, that we can all living in fantasy? Ah but why? What can be so wrong with reality? Well, I guess there is nothing quite wrong with reality, as much as my own doing.

Oh yes, saw this Taiwanese show with曹格和麻衣. Apparently it is some celebrity pairing show and it seems Mr 曹, 艳福不浅 wor… here is the excerpt I stun from the web:

曹格和麻衣是在一个节目中的配对单元相识的。节目当中,被曹格动人歌声和大胆表白而深深感动的麻衣,害羞地答应了曹格的 "配对请求",并带着节目摄制组一起,展开了两人甜蜜的一日约会…

It is damn sweet lor… Seriously… hopefully they are still together (that being Nov 06 news)…

Where are you my 麻衣? If only you have a name… if only

世界唯一的你 by 曹格

是你 , 一眼我就认出来
这是命运最美丽的安排

是爱, 让你掠过漫长等待
我们只要现在相爱, 幸福就来

恨我来不及参与你的过去, 抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换, 我灵魂的另一半

这个世界唯一的你, 是我拥有的奇迹
对我说的一字一句, 都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你, 无可救药的坚定
就算世界与我为敌, 我也愿意我什么都愿意

过去所有的悲哀, 都只是训练我为你勇敢
真爱照亮了漆黑的夜晚, 寻找了彼此一辈子, 才不分开

恨我来不及参与你的过去, 抱歉让你等待
我愿意付出一切交换, 我灵魂的另一半

I will climb the highest mountain, I will swim the deepest sea

对我说的一字一句, 都是我们的秘密
紧紧拥抱唯一的你, 无可救药的坚定
就算世界与我为敌, 我也愿意我什么都愿意

爱就象一种解不开的魔咒, 呜~~~
我愿意付出一切交换, 我灵魂的另一半

HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT BE? I MEAN, ITS JUST POKE POKE, SEE SEE RIGHT?

2008-04-12T19:27:00.003+08:00

12 April 2008
Saturday (28 Degree Celsius)
Cloudy Night @ 1910 (Singapore Time)
Listen: Sometime when we touched by Rod Stewart
Mood: *Are those Your Eyes, Horsie?*

So bird, what’s been up man? Well dookie, nothing much actually…

Last morning woke up slightly later. Then cheebye Lift also take ages to crawl up and by the time I reach ground floor, it began to rain. You know the saying it never rain in Singapore, it pours. Yup, lucky I ran fast… braving the cold wet winds all the way to MRT station, in between shelter or otherwise. MRT also one kind, move like tortoise like that, I think because of the rain; water makes the MRT retarded, I know of some people like that too, but that one another day then say.

After 4 hours of wayanging, I went for my off day. Reach home, look at sky, sky look at me, then decided to take a 3 hour nap. Woke up, goggy but still have to go Cityhall for Grayze’s birthday get together. Met up with Chris first, then go restaurant wait. Then Grayze called, I told her the place and say the rest of girls not coming. She say ok, then 2 min later, sms me say she turning back. I thought she joking, so call her to scold her cheekily. Turn out she isn’t. I nearly vomit blood but digressed. I so big, never in my life kena such a situation. Lucky got Chris, imagine if no friends turn up and only me left waiting for her, then I will be a little bit upset. But still, damn cheebye can?

Anyway, I was up at 7am this morning for another karaoke session with Nyo & Elvan. The lounge is ready after some external renovation and so are we. That pretty much summed up my week. In case you wonder, I tried singlish earlier, hope it convey the idea across.

Oh yes, tomorrow morning at 5am, I will be at either Sentosa; southern-est point in the Malayan Archipelago or at Mount Faber, witnessing the sun rise. Wish me luck that

1. There is actually a sun rising
2. It is not raining/cloudy/fuckup weather
3. Let there be a sun rise… I mean how fucking hard can that be?

Well, life’s too short to wonder what if. So… Just fucking Do it…

Sometime when we touched by Rod Stewart

You ask me if I love you and I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you in what you say or do
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all it's strategy leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth

At times I'd like to break you and drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through and hold you endlessly
At times I understand you and I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you and I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters still searching for a friend, a brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

WOULD YOU DO HER?

2008-04-09T22:12:00.002+08:00

9 April 2008
Wednesday (31 Degree Celsius)
Cloudy Night @ 2200 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 背叛 by曹格
Mood: *Cow & Horsie, Horsie & Cow*

These days… tsk tsk, my karaoke buddy kept asking a rather disturbing question while singing Karaoke; Would I do her? Of course, her refers to most of the MTV girls… Interestingly, most are also the usual sweet things though some are of MILF quality. To set the record straight and in a heartbeat, I like Sweet Young Things, but alas, some things are better left unsaid, lest I get into legal problems. Oh well…

Speaking of MILF, I witness (much to my pleasant surprise) my pretty HR manager in a sort of panty upskirt situation. Ya, sort of… You see, she was seated cross legged in from of me, talking and laughing away while I was standing. Time to go, and she conveniently uncrosses her leg, flashing her undies in my full view, ala Sharon Stone and Michael Douglas. I did the most gentlemanly thing; I turned away. You see, bird has evolved. I am a much higher being nowadays, and how would I know?

I didn’t fucking nose bleed to death in her pressence, did I?

Moving on

I would love to fall in love with you.

I would love to see your smile.
I love everything about you, if only you are not a fragment of my imagination.

Guess I am losing my sense of reality.

If I knew I am dying, would I do anything different? Perhaps not, perhaps so… who would have known.

背叛 by 曹格

雨, 不停落下来
花, 怎麼都不开
尽管我细心灌溉, 你说不爱就不爱我一个人, 欣赏悲哀

爱, 只剩下无奈我, 一直不愿再去猜
钢琴上黑键之间, 永远都夹著空白, 缺了一块就不精采

紧紧相依的心如何Say goodbye
你比我清楚还要我说明白
爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢, 我用背叛自己, 完成你的期盼

把手放开不问一句 Say goodbye
当作最後一次对你的溺爱
冷冷清清淡淡今後都不管, 只要你能愉快

心, 有一句感慨
我, 还能够跟谁对白
在你关上门之前, 替我再回头看看, 那些片段还在不在

AFTER ALL THE WIND WIND RAIN RAIN, I AM STILL HERE FOR YOU

2008-04-05T20:47:00.005+08:00

5 April 2008
Saturday (31 Degree Celsius)
Clear Night @ 2050 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 我的心好乱 by 赵传
Mood: *Cow & Horsie Singing Karaoke*

Today had one misadventure.

It started quite well actually, bright and sunny Saturday; it was our fortnight karaoke session. But being Saturday, the city area (at least) will be packed with students on compulsory charitable work; ala Singapore style. They are given a donation can/carrier for your spare change to make that difference to the less fortunate. So as much as possible I will donate some spare change for a good cause. Usually the organizer will issue a sticker (with their logo) for every donation, supposedly a passport to lesser harassment down the long shopping belt filled with these students. Today without fail, I decided to drop some spare change (Even when I am dirt poor) to this Aunty on duty. She was nice lah, smiling and wishing me a good day but then, she did the unthinkable; she actually tore one sticker out and put it on my arm, Flat!

That the start of my problem, you see these stickers are laced with super poor quality yet come with the strongest suction glue. It is there for a purpose; to bind itself damn strongly to the wearer’s clothes. But now, it is on my skin with the glue binding so nicely and strongly with my arm’s hair.

Yes, I did not have an easy time removing it, nor a pleasant/painless one. Damn Lan Lan!

With so much of complain, now back to the summary of Bird’s life highlights for the week…

Actually I don’t exactly remember much of the happening; it is like one of those forgettable weeks. Nevertheless, these last-minute-work curses seem to like me a lot. For a good whole of week, last minute arrows just flew my way. Damn it!

Moving along, I figure I should start getting healthier, stronger and fitter. I got to pass my IPPT, get conditioned for my Army Half Marathon and maybe, just maybe the year end marathon. For now, just keep my finger crossed. It has been like 4 years since I last ran so far and long. I’m no longer a spring chicken, wait anyhow over exert myself and collapse how? Who to be blamed? Lan Lan again, right?

Wish me luck to a fitter, stronger, and healthier bird. Oh yes, decided to smoke again. And for my detractors, hold your criticism. I figure, if I don’t smoke, life will be too boring even to begin with. So how? Philosophy changed to: Today got Beer, Cigarette, women, then today get drunk, liver drown, lungs burned and dick happy. Haha… Life is more beautiful that way.

我的心好乱 by 赵传

当爱情由浓转淡, 再说什么已太晚
不管心里多遗憾, 让你离开别阻搁

若是爱让你有负担, 说明白吧别隐瞒
你心不在了怎么办, 何不就在这里散

当爱已不在温暖, 它只是牵泮
又何苦让它再纠缠
哦!再纠缠

天空为何那么暗
爱情为何那么难
谁能告诉我答案
现在我的心好乱

AH YOU NOTICE IT TOO… THAT’S FUCKING NICE, NOW SEE HOW YOU FUCKED IT UP

2008-04-01T20:42:00.003+08:00

1 April 2008
Tuesday (27 Degree Celsius)
Rainy Night @ 2010 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 亲爱的, 那不是爱情 by 张韶涵
Mood: *Cow & Horsie gone Horsing around*

Went Jogging just now… Too frustrated over my life and everything else… So with so much energy impounded, what can be a better way than to waste it all (health center, Geylang, etc) haha. But alas, Bird may be single but he is not that desperate (yet). Jogging is an easier and much healthier option. Not to say sex is bad but we will come to that later. Then it started raining. Its ok, I am pretty used to such shit already. Well, if you are in my shoes, then life’s tough…

By now, you would have learnt the exponential increased in food, daily necessities, shampoo… heck everything. These prices will definitely affect the supply for the next few months/years and how prices are always expected to increase. When contacted, Governments everywhere have assured us that they are already planning for alternative sources and, for now, just shut the fuck up, seriously.

However, laws of supply and demand make it rather clear that we should expect everything to cost more in the coming months. And since we are in the topic of sex, we shall take a look at two alternatives to condom…

Do you want to live forever?

As you may have guessed, this is the dangerous option which should be attempted only by the very brave or very foolish. How to know which group you fall under? Well, unless you are a trained chemist or feel that you have 1 dick too many, you'll probably fall into the latter group.

Unless you are looking at made-in-moon condom, chances are, most condoms are really just well, rubber, or latex. Hence, it can be easily molded and stretched to match any sizes (given its elasticity).

Sourcing for latex on the Internet is easy. From where I am, I can just cross the straits, tapped on some trees and Bingo, RAW ingredient for Condoms. Knowing the correct rubber compounds however, is a little harder. But we will come to that…

After mixing all the components, now is the time to pray for two miracles.

One, that the first wearing attempt doesn't result in an explosion or fire or rash or China VD (from my earlier Blog ala Dick-drop-off fame).

Two, though technically you may be able to get the correct composition and having end result that look vaguely similar to a condom. Remember this, there is a reason why Durex, founded in 1929 and it is still in business after so long whereas You, the brave one, have just like discover 1 min ago that you can actually make a condom (sort of)…

Yes, I believe life is beautiful and valuable

A much safer and sane option is to purchase a carton, for those rainy days. These can come in various sizes and capacities and heck, who knows, you might get a bulk discount.

The trick, however, is trying to determine if they have a tip for you (I know, bad pun). If your prefer your condom from big-name player, chances are it should be compatible. Otherwise, you will have to test it out personally before putting your money down. The best part about this method is you can use your entire condoms in the name of cost saving while finding the real McCoy.

Works for me… Happy April Fools Day!

雨, 不停落下来
花, 怎麼都不开
尽管我细心灌溉, 你说不爱就不爱, 我一个人欣赏悲哀

要多少缘分才有可能, 要多认真才能爱我?

IF ONLY YOU KNEW

2008-03-30T15:11:00.002+08:00

30 March 2008
Sunday (28 Degree Celsius)
Overcast Afternoon @ 1500 (Singapore Time)
Listen: 亲爱的, 那不是爱情 by 张韶涵
Mood: *Cow & Horsie weekend*

Today was pretty sunny in the morning till early afternoon, before turning overcast. Typical of the daily weather pattern I supposed. Every mid day sure turn cloudy and might even rain in the later evening. I miss Singapore then, I miss US now… How I am missing the Cheery Blossom now…

Last night brought family to the Night Safari. It was not bad actually; I think everyone enjoyed it, which is a good thing. Particularly my mom, she seems so fascinated with the close proximity of the supposedly free ranging animals. Amazingly how these animals can come so close to us, grazing the grass, without giving a hoot to our passing tram. Imagine one of the carnivorous dude decides to jump over the vegetation and into the tram. I know, it has not happened (yet), but why should I be the first?

Mom is such a merry maker. She just nag about me leaving the kitchen window open big big. Why? Cos it allows the stupid bird to come into kitchen see see look look whether got food or not. And if this persists, they might even return with their friends. Yup, there is one particular mynah that loves to test water, keep flying into the kitchen at specific time to see see around. Lucky I left my .44 magnum Colt Anaconda in the safe, if not, would have blown him to smithereens. Figuratively speaking of course.

Oh yes, stayed at home whole of Saturday just to wait for my mobilization and guess what? It never materialized. Which is a good thing; no call sign = no recall. It was getting better when I discovered my apparently lack of preparation; like NO BOOTS GARTERS for example. For that 15 min when I found this lapse till my make shift temporary solution, I was in total “shitted” mode. What if kena recall and without garter? I rather suck thumb at home than going out. Lucky I found some rubber bands and if really suay suay got activated for mobilization, that bunch of rubber would have to do.

It was a long week man… did another race duty on Friday and it cheebyely rain like nobody business so in the end, the race started 15 min later. That starts off a whole chain of events that accumulated ending my duty at 12.15am. Nabei, while walking towards the taxi stand and smoking my last stick for the day, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. It was tough; mentally… Oh well, that’s life…

On that note, I came to 2 conclusions within a span of 1 hour this morning. Firstly if I knew my cigarette smoked last Friday night was to be my last, I would have really dragged it like it is my last. But alas, it was not meant to be I guess. In any case, I have decided to give up smoking. The very reason for its existence is no longer valid and hence, I decided to let it go. For posterity sake… whatever that entails. Seriously… It is time I gave up smoking… For myself

Further up the chain, I too, realized that everything that happened, it should at least come with some explanation package. But to what purpose? Sometime, things are better left unsaid. Life is so much easier that way.

是你 , 一眼我就认出来
你是命运最美丽的安排
今天你还好吗?

为什么不说话?

我一直在等着你回答 , 一直在等